Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Yes.

By all means Seanachai, take your Squire (uh, no Bauhaus it's not literal ... at least I hope not) but I have a bad feeling about this one ... nothing good will come of it.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Joe, I beg to differ. I think this one will work out. Oh, not that Hiram didn't work out, but he never showed me a certain proper respect, and not that MrSpkr didn't work out, but he showed me even less respect, and hasn't shown the slightest bit of gratitude since he became a Knight, and not that Panzer Leader didn't eventually become a Knight, but that was mostly bloody-minded perseverance. No, I think this one will be the Squire that sets me on to your own, disturbing route of having my Squires acquire Squires.

Sledge59 I take you as Squire (notice the bolding; I never bother bolding Serfs, but I do bold Squires).

I expect you to do the right thing, and prove yourself worthy.

I require of you honour to the Ladies of the Pool: Yk2 (who you are required to think of as the Fair Emma, but shall not refer to her as such), Persephone, who you shall refer to by that name, or 'Goddess'. And, finally, Kitty, who you are allowed to think of as the Leather Princess, or Meowza!, but are never, ever allowed to refer to as such or make any such reference or proceed in such intent, lest we allow Mace to take you out and show you why sheep run from a border collie. Come to think of it, e'en the border collies run from Mace.

You shall observe the rights, rituals, traditions, and Honours of the Cesspool. By this I mean: I want some bloody ears. Bring me some useless SSN ears, some Squire ears, or whatever you've got, and soon.

Also, it means that while you may insult, taunt, and disparage the Olde Ones, the Seniour Knights, the Knights, and the Entitled Annoyances of the Peng Challenge Thread (Shaw, the Justicar, Lawyer, the Consigliori, Simon Fox, the Official Grog of the Cesspool, etc. etc. etc.), you shall maintain a certain level of annoyed reverance for this same gang of utterly useless sons o' bitches. We're your betters, lad, and no better than we should be. Keep it in mind.

Finally, did I mention ears? I want some bloody ears. Hiram, Beloved Former Squire, never even brought me an earlobe. MrSpkr, who constantly disparaged me, kept all the ears for himself. As for Panzer Leader, I had to keep explaining to him what 'ears' were, and, once he grasped that, I had to keep re-iterating to him where they were located. Mind, he was constantly having to defend himself from the accusation of being a bloody halfwit, so you can see how he couldn't focus on both tasks (I still have no bloody ears, but I'm sure he's universally regarded as one of the Thread's geniuses, don't you imagine?)

I have high hopes for you, lad. You will be the rule that proves the exception. Go out there, and taunt the ears off of some of these hopeless little piddlers.

At least you can spell, most of the time.

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Seanachai said this

Geier is, of course, seriously exaggerating . In reality he is completely out of things to murder.

It is simply appalling. What few troops I have left (and there were never many to begin with), are actually threatening to shoot me if I try and issue any commands, even including the command to retreat off the map. They no longer trust me to even get that right.

Until my game with Panzer Leader, I had no idea the TacAI could actually seize control that way and cut the human commander completely out of the loop. Of course, in Panzer Leader's case the AI stepped in to finally give him the victory he'd been haplessly bobbling for 20 turns. In my case, it's taken on a rather fierce and dismissive attitude of 'haven't you done enough? Leave them alone!'

<hr></blockquote>

Seanachai, I am so glad that you and Geier enjoyed that little scenario. Warms my heart it does.

Well it sounds like Geier enjoyed it, anyway.

[snicker]From your description, it sounds like "commander" is a bit of a stretch. Muahahaha[/snicker]

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Moriarty ]</p>

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:

Whom else do I hate?

I hate Moriarty for shelling the feck out of an immobilized Pz-IV with two 105 field guns.

<hr></blockquote>

I invited you on more than one occasion to send more troops around into the line of fire of those two heretofore useless pieces of artillery. You didn't and instead chose to drive that PzIV into their gunsights, knowing full well that there were two of them and exactly where they were. And it was only one of the 105mm HOWs, as the crew of the other bailed on the previous turn. First they were captured, then I immobilized the PzIV with the other, then the crew wasn't captured anymore, so I'll keep them to fight again.

So, there.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Big Time Software:

Back! Back!! Get BACK into the Pool!

Yes, your type of filth and vermin will have a stinkhole to call Home for as long as this BBS shall remain functional. We know you won't go away, so this is the only logical alternative

Steve

P.S. What is that sound? Ooooo... I think you all know! SNAP <hr></blockquote>

I find that both fair, and reassuring.

Mind, I still want to be assured that useless pissholes-in-the-snow will show up to guarantee our membership swells due to the'brain drain' flight to the Peng Challenge Thread, but it's nice to be appreciated for what we are.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Sledge59:

Perhaps another moniker is in order, and at this early stage it might not have to bend the rules. It's doubtful that there's an Albion on this board, or a zeitgeist, there are just so many possibilities. If one should really get stuck for ideas, even a real name could be used; eh Joe?<hr></blockquote>

Very nice, very nice indeed. If Seanachai doesn't take him for squire, I will

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Berli, by the way, has been quite unpleasant about the idea of stewed sheep in his home, but I know he'll come around as soon as he tastes it. <hr></blockquote>

i would rather have a dinner puchased from the cafeteria vending machine than eat lamb. Lamb tastes like wet sheep smell

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Very nice, very nice indeed. If Seanachai doesn't take him for squire, I will<hr></blockquote>

Speaking of squires, my boon squire Noba has not yet reported in to the board and its nobel (or Noble or Nobal) [k]nights (or chicken kniggets) on his recent adventuring. I am sure I want here of his recent battles to judge him better by.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Very nice, very nice indeed. If Seanachai doesn't take him for squire, I will<hr></blockquote>

Back, Oh Dark One! I have him to Squire, faire and square.

His bitterly dismissive response to the Justicar about his moniker pretty much sealed my sense of satisfaction this evening.

Not that he shouldn't show a proper disrespect for Shaw. Everything's alright as long as he shows a proper disrespect.

Oh, and no turns went out tonight, except for Moriarity, who's deserving. The rest of you are stains on the carpet in a house filled with Yorkshire Terriers, and have not been noticed this night.

Final note:

Lorak, you worthless trollop. Should you wrench yourself away from your twitch game long enough to show up here and take notice of such things, oh Herald, please note:

Seanachai: Victory

Peng (who was still fecking Peng when we began the game, and not this Gates-Slut creature) Defeat

Peng played not wisely, but too well. He relied on terrain to give him the victory, and was screwed. He attempted a manic, bizarre cavalry charge at the end, worthy of Shaw himself for sheer, unexpected weirdness, but it was to no avail. Army of Peng: eating the chocolate bar of incarcerated pity.

Speedy, Australian: Crushed

Seanachai (recapturing a bit of self-confidence), Crushing an Australian

I would like to conclude that Speedy had been 'utterly' crushed, but such is not the case. He was defending against the Assault, which is a hard row to hoe (even though I had taken the Brits, while he was the Fascist Monster...that is, the Germans). Even in defeat, Speedy was a nasty bastard, and did a lot of harm. At one point, when it looked like it would just be a matter of sending in the cheerleaders, he started to reveal traps, surprises, and units held in reserve. Then he counter-attacked, and his forces dissolved.

However, I point out this Victory Against a Card Carrying Australian.

Also, the battle with AussieJeff looks more hopeful. Painful things have happened to him.

The battle against Noba is a complete bloody disaster, and I shall gain no credit here. This will, most likely, be a rather shameful defeat by a truly horrible Australian.

The battle with Stuka is early on, and too weird in snow to predict.

The battle with the Lizard King is done, and lost, but the very willingness of the creature to claim it as a victory shows how lost he is to the very soul of honour. A man who would preen over the triumph of his brutally effective and significant computer chosen forces over an opponent's issuance of 'clown forces', is the sort of man who takes delight in pointing out accidents of birth, and mocking crippled people for being slower than he in a foot race.

So, Lorak please also note:

Seanachai: a Defeat neither of his own making, nor earned by any fault of his.

Goanna Australian: a Victory that by proclaiming, belittles and cheapens the Victor.

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Seanachai]

Just to acknowledge that my own involvement with the Outlaw Nation known as Australia has spread to my State as a whole, this from the local paper:

Backfence: Aussie gives update on wacko Jacko

James Lileks

Star Tribune

Published Jan 25 2002

Back to the same gristle we masticated Wednesday: annoying spokescreatures.

We discussed Jacko, the large-faced Australian who shouted OI! at Americans

in the '80s on behalf of a large battery concern. We have a Jacko update

from an Actual Australian, Tim Blair:

Far from being the governor of a Minnesota-sized state, Jacko is himself

now Minnesota-sized. Hence his latest gig in Australia: pitchman for Weight

Watchers, which is paring the Jackson frame back to something recognizably

human. Jacko wasn't universally loved during his playing days. His first

top-level football (footy) coach, the legendary Ron Barassi, tolerated his

on-field capering for just two years before firing him. Incidentally,

because his name already sounds like an Australian nickname, Barassi is

dubbed . . .(And here the Fence steps in to deftly parry away a word they

might print in wicked, godless Oz, but not here in the Clean and Reverent

States.)

At his second team, St. Kilda, Jackson lasted only 10 games.

Saint Kilda? According to catholic.org, which ought to know these things, there is no Saint Kilda. I suspect some Outback Aquinas performed some extemporaneous theologizing. A member of

the congregation asked: "So, padre, does th' Good Book permit killin' of a

pommy bludger what's givin' you the gobful?"

The pastor, noting that his entire congregation is heavily armed and more

heavily hung over, improvised: "Uh, yes. Killing was permitted in certain

circumstances, ah, according to a little-known saint -- "

"Which one, then?"

"Ah, Saint Kilda." (Pastor pauses, winces, expecting audience to groan; sees

only hopeful upturned faces.)

"An' what did th' 'oly sheila say?"

"Uh, put the boot unto others as you would have others put the boot unto

you."

Murmurs of appreciation rippled through the crowd. The town changed its name

the next day.

In his first year with his third team, Geelong, Jacko was suspended by

authorities for eight weeks after running the length of the field to punch a

player who had upset him. He also tried to lure Carlton's peaceful fullback

Bruce Doull into a fight. Doull defied him, just as he defies Australian

nickname conventions; he is known as "The Flying Doormat." Jackson's footy

career ended in 1986. We Australians accept no blame for what followed. All

of Jackson's crimes against acting were either committed in, or encouraged

by, the United States. You people are the root cause here.

There. All you need to know about Jacko, from one who suffered his reign at

close proximity.

Incidentally, this Tim fellow has a Web site --

You will go there, and you will laugh

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Hah! Didn't expect THAT did you!

Now we are back to a proper Joe Shaw hosted THREAD ... AND BY GAWD THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT! ... enjoy.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

(as more rain lashes down on the paddock to herald another fun-packed, eventful week, something can be seen running around making Foreign Noises and, every now and then, taking a short, half-hearted hop into the air, ears akimbo)

rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat, Скюм ди, скюм ди, Comrades, Т выровняй схо простой процент

Yeknod

[Mace]

If my dear collegue Seanachai* can quote articles verbatim, I would too but I'm concerned about the implications of copyright.

So, as we say in Australia...

COP THIS!!!

Mace

* I am fond of the old fellow. In fact he'll be welcome to make a home in the front of my garden anytime (as, of course, a humble garden gnome)

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Back, Oh Dark One! I have him to Squire, faire and square.<hr></blockquote>

Very well... for now. Be asured, that I will be watching. For your sake, the blackness of his heart had better not be corupted by any of your jolly sing-alongs. I hope I have been clear on this matter. You may take him for squire, but I still claim him as one of mine.

[Guest PondScum]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat, Скюм ди, скюм ди, Comrades, Т выровняй схо простой процент<hr></blockquote>

It's even bored in Russian. Now if it could return a fecking turn we could get even more bored in SollieVille, where I think we were about to knock a house down, comrade.

Gaminess update: I am evil, as Abn_Ranger is finding to his cost. Turn 1: we run at each other headlong. My Pak-o-death sits hidden on top of a commanding height, with LOS to the entire battlefield. Turn 2: our infantry begins some serious mutual mauling, while the gamey bastage's artillery starts firing blind on my Pak-o-death's hiding place. "Hope you didn't have anything important on that nice hilltop" he gloats. Turn 3: "You mean the hilltop that you're shelling while the real battle is elsewhere?" I reply. He falls for it, stops his artillery, my Pak-o-death reveals itself, and lo, there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth and exploding amongst his armor. Life is good. And did I mention that my artillery-free Fallschirmgirbils eviscerated his point platoon? Life is good.

Berli, your abject squabbling over the soul of Hedge69 is unworthy. Go back to casting the dice that get you those unholily lucky Shermans. The little piece of bocage ain't worth it.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon

Speaking of squires, my boon squire Noba has not yet reported in to the board ... on his recent adventuring. I am sure I want here of his recent battles to judge him better by.<hr></blockquote>

The thought of taking Le Camp Crossroads from Noba's forces is too much even for my notoriously camp French waiters to bear. They are therefore circling the village in their shiny fashionable halftracks, laughing at its inmates and shouting their Gallic derision. Only when he fights back and it becomes Le Manly Macho Crossroads will they deign to capture it.

[Noba]

Sire Slapdragon.

Anupdate or two...just for you !

Pondscum and I have a sort of battle going..too early to tell if it has competence.

Donkey boy has been a little recalcitrant, to say the least. We have only set up done.

Berli, whilst not a serf or squire is trying..in vain.

Hanns, must be in gaol or somefink ! He doesn't send more than one turn a week.

Lars, - well he is approaching much death - soon.

The Gnomes' Head will soon adorn my front yard - next to it's body. (That way the local kids will curse that someone beat them too it).

All in all, a little early to ascribe anything other than a work in progress - Unless the Senile one will stop posting and send a fecking turn.

Goanna. Don't be worried about Mace and his slur on that useless pile of footballers called Geelong...they have not ammounted to anything usefull in the last 20 years - except put pressure on Melbourne based clubs to merge !

Noba.

[Sledge59]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Posted by Seanachai:

I want some bloody ears.

<hr></blockquote>

Ears ye shall have, sire. In abundance.

For the moment, if you need it for that stew I can offer you the petrified ear of a bastard cousin. Yes, it's the ear of that former squire of yours; MrSpkr. He had just been made kanniget and said he was: "too busy to play worth a damn and would like to have a rematch". He hasn't done so yet... Heh heh heh!

There is, of course, a fresher ear of that gamey Leeo, but if you'll allow me to hold it a little longer it may be needed for the parlay at the end of our present encounter.

PondScum, you could have been forgiven for the jab at my person; but the insult to Berli will not pass by unpunished. This trumpery shall be exposed for the hogwash that it is. Name your terms, you despicable product of diseased excrement. My only regret is that the gallant Frenchmen under your inept command will have to die to the last man.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Sledge59:

Not being a military man, but having served 25 years as a builder of things; I chose the name Sledge to tie the two worlds together in a word. <hr></blockquote>

Oooohhhh, a clever builder! What next, an HONEST builder??

I don't think so.

[Lawyer]

Three words for Berli:

MEDAL of HONOR

[Edited to make the pain that much greater by bolding it so tired wasted eyes can see it on Monday morning.]

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

It’s the morning after. Many of you know what weighs heavily upon my mind this Monday. When a huge amount of passion is expended upon a certain subject and then the results are not what one wants, there is an empty feeling afterwards.

I am proud of my Philadelphia Eagles.

I will now invoke my right as Hiram to be unhappy for a while on behalf of my team. Keep your platitudes to yourselves. I know that you hated the Eagles because they are my team. This morning finds my brain tired and confused. I was writing out a check to Cesspool Mortgage for stamps today. It’s only funny because I work at Cendant.

Now, for some good news. Both of my cats are saying Croda’s name into every other pair of shoes belonging to my girlfriend. She has found beefy chunks of cat vomitus in approx 9 pairs of shoes thus far. I swear I didn’t teach them that. Cats are the ones to balance out excess. They remind you of when you have too much of something. At the moment, it is melancholy and malaise for me. Want some?

[Sledge59]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Oooohhhh, a clever builder! What next, an HONEST builder??

I don't think so.<hr></blockquote>

There are builders, and then there are sculptors of buildings.

Pleased to meet you Lawyer, I nearly took the attorney's path myself.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:

Berli is trying..in vain...<hr></blockquote>

...to stay awake through your sluggish attack and ineffective artillery fire.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

MEDAL of HONOR[/QB]<hr></blockquote>

Nice graphics, boring play, waste of money

Sod Off

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Sledge59:

You know Joe, you've hit on something there. The number on the name is annoying, even if it was a good year. Not being a military man, but having served 25 years as a builder of things; I chose the name Sledge to tie the two worlds together in a word. There was no thought of Peng Challenges, or longevity on the board. After all, how many cyber-communities live two years or more? Not so many I'd think, and that gives credibility to this one.<hr></blockquote> And your point would be ...? Look around you lad, do you see any another numbered person? I think not.

THEY had the forethought to realize that a number marks a man as surely as a branding iron with the label STUPID USELESS PILLOCK ... mind it doesn't usually require as much burn oinment. You should have come here and, realizing that this was a NEW WORLD and that you weren't bound by the conventions and strictures imposed by the outside world, chosen a name that wasn't so obviously ... chosen FOR you rather than BY you!

You could, for example, have simply taken SLEDGE. An added advantage would be that we'd have had the fun of calling you Sludge for a bit. But did you think of US? NO, you did not, and mores the shame on you.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Perhaps another moniker is in order, and at this early stage it might not have to bend the rules. It's doubtful that there's an Albion on this board, or a zeitgeist, there are just so many possibilities. If one should really get stuck for ideas, even a real name could be used; eh Joe?<hr></blockquote>Exactly so, mind you the last is not recommended as it would give you delusions of adequacy and we can't have that at this early and formative stage of your life with us. Further, changing your name radically at this time could well lead to your confusion and cause you to post vituperative and ill mannered messages to YOURSELF. It is good, however, to see that you've seen the error of you ways and I, for one, am willing to acknowledge you as Sledge59 for the time being.

Joe

p.s. '59 sucked as years go. A complete waste of time in ever respect. Neither fish nor fowl, stuck between decades as it were and memorable only because it was the LAST year that preceded the famous 60's. Now '49 was a YEAR, the last of the celebrated 40's and really the last year of note before the ennui of the 50's.

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Croda]

Hiram

My team won yesterday.

Yours didn't.

Gosh I'm sorry about that.

Boy I love my Patriots.

Fitting that the Patriots should win the Super Bowl in these times.

Sorry that your team is now scheduling tee-times.

I feel bad for them.

They must be really sad.

Oh well, back to the grind!

Hope this pep talk cheered you up some.

Better luck next season.

Croda

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Croda ]</p>

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:

Hiram

Blah Blah Blah

bludgeon me and my family will pay you

Croda

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Croda ]<hr></blockquote>

Croda, you squirming, feces encrusted, mindless, sycophantic, unusually plump, slimy maggot. Your fingers aren’t worthy of typing anything about the noble team of my heart.

Even more of your lack of character shows through with your choice of football teams. I watched that game and saw the huge amount of bad calls. For your sake, I do hope the referees will be just as blind and inept in the Superbowl as they were in the AFC game. My struggle will be to try to care about who actually wins that game. I just feel bad for Lorak because his team played honorably but fell to the evil machinations of autistic referees who didn’t have a clue what a catch was.

Enough about football. Let’s talk about your obsession with collecting pieces of pets. When you were a little snot nosed Croda clutching your picture of Liberace, did you want to dismember pets? I’m not qualified to give you therapy, but would recommend that you stay far away from my little four legged friends. If I go home and find any portion of them missing, you will see my hirsute visage parked outside of your double wide. Do your town a favor, take your parent’s suggestion, and go play on the Pennsylvania Turnpike for a while.

[Iskander]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

... I don't trust any sodding deity that's never been pictured with a cavorting dog.<hr></blockquote>

Hear! Hear!

Although one could make the arguement that since god & dog are palindromes, a picture of one is a picture of the other. I'd certainly like to think that back as a simple tekton -- that's woodworker for you unlettered types -- Y'shua would take a break from making a door frame or whatnot to go outside and toss the stick with a local pup.

Then again, if he threw the stick like Seanachai moves his troops, that poor dog would be dead of old age in the waiting.

Perhaps Per/Patch can jinn up something suitable.

Hmmm... wonder what the dog's name would have been?... Rocky, maybe?

.

.

.

Oh, and Speedbump is losing 'cause I've got all the flags and Lars is losing 'cause he can't drink like I do.