Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

[Seanachai]

It is interesting to me that more thought, bile, and energy went into the recent series of Hiram/Croda exchanges about football, than either of them has been able to muster in their last six months of posting about anything else.

While I'm glad to see that they despise each other, I'm dissapointed that the loathing never came to a real head until they (endlessly) managed to bring football into it.

The zeal with which they have provoked and attacked each other has led me to the conclusion that Militant Islam has nothing on Militant Idiocy.

[Goanna]

If any or all of the following would care to forward a file in our current contests of arms, they could be spared futher slippage toward wussification and derision from down under.

Mrspkr Not actually sure if he can be spared as he has proven himself most wussly indeed by not returning the final 2 files of our game for over two weeks. Only his lack of posting in this forum may save him as we suspect he has been shot on campus in this weeks law school uprising.

Any of the denizens of deep southern Wisconsin. I had suspected more from Berli at least since his attempts to induce an acute form of emphasema had proved quite effective in the early stages. Moriary and bahuaus, on the other hand, are being dismembered by the numbers and are likely out purchasing new couches to hide behind.

Stuka is "camping", which in Queensland refers to the practice of packing up virtually everything you own into several four wheel drives, along with several rented petrol-driven power tools, and inflicting untold amounts of damage on the flora and fauna of sensitive ecosystems. Kinda like modern day bedouins without the culture.

Seanachai: Woe is me, blah blah blah, I'm so low.

Goanna: I'm lower

Apparently, he was less than satisfied with the computer selections purchased for him, so I have agreed to a rematch set up by a third party pooler. So, applications are now being accepted from candidates who hate us both equally and have a modicum of talent in generating an enhanced QB with which I might make sure that his recent topplement of an Austrlian is only an outlier in an otherwise perfect record of defeat.

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

It is interesting to me that more thought, bile, and energy went into the recent series of Hiram/Croda exchanges about football, than either of them has been able to muster in their last six months of posting about anything else.

While I'm glad to see that they despise each other, I'm dissapointed that the loathing never came to a real head until they (endlessly) managed to bring football into it.

The zeal with which they have provoked and attacked each other has led me to the conclusion that Militant Islam has nothing on Militant Idiocy.<hr></blockquote>

Thought? That was from the heart.

Dear old man. Does the play of the Fools amuse you?

That's great. We aim to please.

Sad that you don't get into football. It truly makes life worth bearing.

I got news that a former roommate of mine who is a Steeler season-ticket holder had plans to go to New Orleans for the Super Bowl.

I guess he won't be going now.

Gosh that makes me smile.

Updates:

Hiram's men have stopped in the trees to cry because they are sad. I just hope they don't use the poison ivy as kleenex. That would be too funny to bear.

Dalem is trying to keep his retreat organized. His men are systematically slaughtered in the process. Almost as funny as the New Orleans thing.

Terence crosses open ground to attack a tall hill with all the VLs. He's dropping smoke now. That's good. We like our meat smoked before grilling.

Brand new scenario: Ambush in the Valley (tentative title) is ready for playtesting. Who needs a map for a double-blind challenge match?

[imported_Wildman]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh no you don't lad. YOU, as the challenger, choose the weapons (the size and type of engagement if you please), while I as the offended party choose the ground (the map you see). Therefore I shall ask Seanachai to select and or create a suitable map for our meeting ... NO DAMNED SNOW!

You then, with the help of your [sneer] Second [/sneer], can then determine the size and parameters of the forces to be used. We will then each purchase said forces and our seconds will place them on the map for our battle.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Great your Morman Hippieness. Now that you've manage to outline this simple process, yet again! You could persuade that the sweedish chef in the black laytex, Lars, to stop self-flagilation and finish our setup.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

If any or all of the following would care to forward a file in our current contests of arms, they could be spared futher slippage toward wussification and derision from down under.

Mrspkr<hr></blockquote>

Too late, for he hath gained derision to spare from the Northern hemisphere as well (Just ask Lawyer; not that one can generally trust a barrister, but in regards to his opinion of MrSpkr, it just may be warranted).

MrSpkr's Wussification is complete.

[Lawyer]

Dalem, you imbecile!

Did you not see on the previous thread that I have a very rare and authentic game slot with JoeBobShaw that I'm willing to sell??

Seanachai, you've been all over this board spreading messy bits like a diarhetic dog for the past two days, but you haven't sent back a turn. Why not do something productive for a change?

Sledge5937.03, you said you were "glad to meet me". Don't ever do that again. EVER. It just makes you look more like a wussy, and demeans my elevated position here in the Pool. Hate works far better to get the desired results.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:

Too late, for he hath gained derision to spare from the Northern hemisphere as well (Just ask Lawyer

MrSpkr's Wussification is complete.<hr></blockquote>

Dealing with MrSpkr is like sending your children to swim at the ocean in an undertow.

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Wildman:

Great your Morman Hippieness. Now that you've manage to outline this simple process, yet again! You could persuade that the sweedish chef in the black laytex, Lars, to stop self-flagilation and finish our setup.<hr></blockquote>

The setup was made with great haste and at the last minute because I did not wish to waste my time on the likes of you.

Forwarded to Marlow who was to purchase your forces, but I presume he didn’t wish to waste his time on you either. Have him check his trash.

Now he may have sent it off to Shaw, in which case the mystery is solved. I know Joe. He certainly doesn’t have the time to waste on the likes of you.

{not edited because this post has 100% of your recommended daily allowance of bile}

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

While I'm happy to act for you in this matter, Joe, it seems like a lot of work. He lives here in town now, can't I just go over to his house, club him to death, and then put him through the wood-chipper?<hr></blockquote> Damn ... why didn't I think of that? Obviously that's why YOU'RE the Olde One and I'm a lowly, though not so lowly as some, Justicar. I presume you got the inspiration from that lovely movie about your neighbor, "Fargo"?

As to his location, you have my sympathy.

Lars, by the by, has the right of it ... not too terribly surprising as he WAS my squire and taught right. If Marlow can't be trusted {snort}, then it's no fault of mine.

And Lawyer, are you STILL trying to deal that challenge YOU cancelled out of? Since you cancelled the deal there is no product to sell and furthermore it was person (I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt) specific and non-transferable.

Joe

[Marlow]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:

Forwarded to Marlow who was to purchase your forces, but I presume he didn’t wish to waste his time on you either. Have him check his trash.

<hr></blockquote>

What!!! I was supposed to do something with that filth in my inbox? Consider it done.

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Dalem, you imbecile!

Did you not see on the previous thread that I have a very rare and authentic game slot with JoeBobShaw that I'm willing to sell??

<hr></blockquote>

Why would I buy something from a lawyer when I can get it for free from an old, old man?

You know, speaking of old, old men; long, long ago my grandfather sat me down and said "Son, if you work hard all your life, spend your money wisely, respect your elders, and treat women like delicate flowers, you'll be able to sit with a friend in a car dealership some Monday night, waiting for her car to be serviced, and on the lounge TV you'll be able to watch people in a prime time shooting contest where the penalty for missing the bullseye is eating a pickled pig rectum or two." Wait, I'm wrong, HE NEVER SAID THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I believed in a god, truly I'd believe it was getting ready to smite this silly little marble.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem:

If I believed in a god, truly I'd believe it was getting ready to smite this silly little marble.<hr></blockquote>

OK, sure, but He'll get my "Beachball Cat's-Eye" when he prys it from my cold, dead, fin...

Wait. Nevermind.

[Guest PondScum]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Abn_Ranger87:

It seems my unseemly sheen of fishy refuse on a puddle opponent has vastly out-stated his early successes.<hr></blockquote>

Hey! I am not fishy.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>As far as his crunchies go... well now that I know he has Deutch paras playing in the woods... <hr></blockquote>

...please continue dying-a-lot. Your Brits do seem very good at it: stick to your strengths, that's what I always say.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Bugger, bugger, bugger... you remembered... <hr></blockquote>

Not only that, but on good days (i.e. when the drugs kick in) I can also remember that I am not called Berli, and hence "yak_berli_18.txt" is the wrong file, you great Nobbit-like pillock.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Sledge59:

PondScum, you could have been forgiven for the jab at my person; but the insult to Berli will not pass by unpunished.<hr></blockquote>

Ewww, now he's sucking up to Old One Liner. Dreadful visions of a Berli-Sledge59-Seanachi romantic threesome in the offing. It will all end in tears, you know.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>This trumpery shall be exposed for the hogwash that it is. Name your terms, you despicable product of diseased excrement.<hr></blockquote>

My terms? Simple. I'm French, you die.

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum:

My terms? Simple. I'm French, you die.<hr></blockquote>

See Joe? Simply poetic in its brevity, sun-bright in its clarity. This is truly a squire to be proud of.

Now, Pondscum, I want you to play like there's no tomorrow, leave it all out on the field, throw away the playbook, pack up your troubles in your old kit bag, and win one for the Ole' Gipper.

NOW!!!

[BilgeRat]

Aaarrgh!!

Well he's styled hisself cap'n for this voyage but thanks be that the British Navy isn't led by creatures of his ilk.

For as Shaw skulked behind the petticoats of the 'Code Duello', Boney would be landing on a British shore. Just what were the Lords of the Admiralty thinking when they allowed Shaw to launch the ship on this commission. Methinks 'tis more like some geographical milestone was passed and by virtue of tradition the most lackwitted clown in the ships company appointed a fiction of a captain.

This buffoon who brays for harsh punishment in messdeck courts martial yet scurries below at the first sight of a hostile sail should be hisself flogged around the fleet. The Code Duello pertains to the ordered settlement of disputes between gentlemen of honour not some lowerdecks dispute involving such as Shaw, who blights this ship by virtue of a rum soked press gang stumbling across a travelling fair and impressing tha bearded lady amidst the other freaks. Shaw is no gentleman, never was, never will be. His dodging and weaving marks him as no more than a blackhearted poltroon. For his cowardice he should be forced to run the gauntlet of his shipmates in which each one should bludgeon him in turn.

This talk of the French turns the stomache, no suprise they are pondscum.

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum:

Not only that, but on good days (i.e. when the drugs kick in) I can also remember that I am not called Berli, and hence "yak_berli_18.txt" is the wrong file, you great Nobbit-like pillock

<hr></blockquote>

Oh, are you sure? Just that one thing seems to merge into another these days and there isn't much difference between a Duck and Gopher. Besides, THE BLEEDIN MAP COMES FROM THE SAME, GAMEY, THERE-ISN'T-ENOUGH-ROOM-TO-SCRATCH-A-FLEA-LET-ALONE-CONDUCT-A-FLANKING-ATTACK ORIGIN... that felt much better for a while, not that anyone heard.

Berli, got PondDuck's file? Oh, and while we're we on the subject, lets just take a rain check on Yeknod_v_Berli. Now, what a delightful, little strip of something we have here. Yes folks, about as wide as a gnat's bottom the vista comprises of two pits, left and right, seperated by the only route of advance along a wooded ridge running towards Berli. Holes and ridge covered by whopping, massive fortresses AT THE GOPHERS END. Oh, and the sulphur, smelling rodent is hiding too. Now, call me a bit thick, call me stupid... but it don't take a Nobbit to figure out that this envites a bit of a slapping... a donkey shoot, no less. Ha, well, Gopher-Guts, IN YER DREAMS.

Much better

Yeknod

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by BilgeRat:

Aaarrgh!!

Well he's styled hisself cap'n for this voyage but thanks be that the British Navy isn't led by creatures of his ilk.

For as Shaw skulked behind the petticoats of the 'Code Duello', Boney would be landing on a British shore. Just what were the Lords of the Admiralty thinking when they allowed Shaw to launch the ship on this commission. Methinks 'tis more like some geographical milestone was passed and by virtue of tradition the most lackwitted clown in the ships company appointed a fiction of a captain.

This buffoon who brays for harsh punishment in messdeck courts martial yet scurries below at the first sight of a hostile sail should be hisself flogged around the fleet. The Code Duello pertains to the ordered settlement of disputes between gentlemen of honour not some lowerdecks dispute involving such as Shaw, who blights this ship by virtue of a rum soked press gang stumbling across a travelling fair and impressing tha bearded lady amidst the other freaks. Shaw is no gentleman, never was, never will be. His dodging and weaving marks him as no more than a blackhearted poltroon. For his cowardice he should be forced to run the gauntlet of his shipmates in which each one should bludgeon him in turn.

This talk of the French turns the stomache, no suprise they are pondscum.<hr></blockquote>

Ahoy, matey

Quarrantine period done? Immigration control over in Nostrilasia SOD OOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRFFF

Much, much better

Yeknod

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by BilgeRat:

Aaarrgh!!

Well he's styled hisself cap'n for this voyage but thanks be that the British Navy isn't led by creatures of his ilk.

For as Shaw skulked behind the petticoats of the 'Code Duello', Boney would be landing on a British shore. Just what were the Lords of the Admiralty thinking when they allowed Shaw to launch the ship on this commission. Methinks 'tis more like some geographical milestone was passed and by virtue of tradition the most lackwitted clown in the ships company appointed a fiction of a captain.

This buffoon who brays for harsh punishment in messdeck courts martial yet scurries below at the first sight of a hostile sail should be hisself flogged around the fleet. The Code Duello pertains to the ordered settlement of disputes between gentlemen of honour not some lowerdecks dispute involving such as Shaw, who blights this ship by virtue of a rum soked press gang stumbling across a travelling fair and impressing tha bearded lady amidst the other freaks. Shaw is no gentleman, never was, never will be. His dodging and weaving marks him as no more than a blackhearted poltroon. For his cowardice he should be forced to run the gauntlet of his shipmates in which each one should bludgeon him in turn.

This talk of the French turns the stomache, no suprise they are pondscum.<hr></blockquote>

Shaw, underneath his Jeffrey Farnol school of historical dialect approach, I believe the Bilgerat is actually offering you a thinly veiled challenge.

Which would be a relief, actually, for while I have enjoyed the antics of this refugee from a Marryat novel, he has yet to do more than posture, bluster, and 'curse the French, with a wannion!'

I realize, Shaw, that you are a busy man, and I completely understand your obsession with those finer points of honour and affectation that seem like merest persiflage to the low-lifes who form such a sturdy, yeomanesque core of the Peng Challenge Society, but I think, if this is indeed what Bilgerat is seeking, that someone should give him a game.

He has, quite incorrectly, been identified with Patrick O'Brien, but, and I certainly know, there is no one in a Patrick O'Brien novel that carries himself like our Bilgerat. Monsieur O'Brien is, in fact, quite literary. Bilgerat is being keelhauled beneath Sabatini.

Now, I propose, Mister Bilgerat, that you have capered and ponced around the Thread in a not unpleasing way, but long enough.

Shaw, Knight Templar of the Thread, is much too busy to take notice of your 'damme's', and 'with a' curse', and 'sod me for a lizard, else', but I have noticed you, and I am, after all, the Nice One.

Therefore, I propose that you leave off your bathtub battles with brightly colored plastic tugboats that you, with furrowed brow, have renamed after every ship of the line involved in the battle of Trafalgar, and give over your attempts to position them just so with the intent of breaking the 'enemy's line', and prove to us here that you do, in fact, play Combat Mission.

My own, recently proclaimed Squire, Sledge59, would, I doubt not, give you a game worthy of your steel.

I suggest, Bilgerat, me little lad, that you have hoist an oar over your shoulder, and moved far enough into the heart of the Peng Challenge Thread to a point where people would venture a question as to what you're carrying. It's time to lay it down, and play a game, lad.

What say you? Would you receive a Challenge, if properly tendered, from my Squire, Sledge59? Or will you shuffle, and pull the forelock, and committ the very crime of shiftiness that you accuse Shaw, no warriour of the sea, to be sure, of committing?

Sledge59! As you love the gods, my ladies, and me, offer this encrusted barnacle a challenge!

Let us see what stuff he's made of.

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Sledge59! As you love the gods, my ladies, and me, offer this encrusted barnacle a challenge!

Let us see what stuff he's made of.<hr></blockquote>

Ahem, er, Seanachai since being an Olde One and therefore an expert in the the Olde Ways and since OGSF is conspicuous by his absence... and since I've gone a bit, well, er "broody" of late I thought I might ask for some guideance... in public so that the opportunity is there for others to er, well, give correction too... and I'll drop the donkey act just to take a sounding to see whether I'm on the straight and narrow... and if I'm not?

Yeknod

[Geier]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by BilgeRat:

Aaarrgh!!This talk of the French turns the stomache.<hr></blockquote>

I like it. Is it taken? Fair enough then, let it be known that The Olde Firm has dibs on this one and as soon as it produces an email address in its profile it is to be considered Ours.

In every sense of the worde.

Johan

[Noba]

Sledgedog 0.15 ... Do you perchance practise at being an idiot, or does it come naturally. Now that we know that you are a Builder by trade, and had visions of becoming a Lawyer

we can see a thread of '****e happens' in your life.

(Free advice here. "Lawyer" is not a good choice to have intercourse with, social or otherwise, on this forum).

You obviously can't take a trick and would be hard put to offer any worthwhile resistance in a game...but we are willing to teach you a lesson - just as we taught your decrepit-in-tactics sponser, Seanachimp.

Don't take too long in thinking about this, you know your head hurts if you concentrate ? too hard.

Noba.

[Noba]

Posted by Geier

I like it. Is it taken? Fair enough then, let it be known that The Olde Firm has dibs on this one and as soon as it produces an email address in its profile it is to be considered Ours.

Point of order.

I'm not sure that the 'dibs' is, in this case, legal.

ssn's are to be ignored if posting without requirements. Why should this seaweed sucker be different ?

Should it then not follow that a, SOD OFF !

follows ?

Noba.

[ 01-29-2002: Message edited by: Noba ]</p>

[Geier]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:

I'm not sure that the 'dibs' is, in this case, legal.<hr></blockquote>

We hope not. That would go against everything we stand for.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

Should it then not follow that a, SOD OFF !

follows ?

<hr></blockquote>

In my experience, it always does, therefore it goes without saying. Unless of course the reader is a wanker, loser and an aussiepommiegitstralian.

So, just for you:

SOD OFF!

Johan

[ 01-29-2002: Message edited by: Geier ]</p>

[Noba]

Ye Gods. I've just been told to sod off by a webmaster !

I shall ignore the feeble git. ( Learned from the Donkey)

Noba.

ps. you still can't have him...not in the rules.

[chrisl]

Updates on the status of the Gates Slut who will never again be known as Peng:

After a long interruption by real life I managed to get a file out to the Gnome. He has to advance across a long stretch of mostly empty map, with a few covered paths that are now bristling with all sorts of defensive implements of destruction. It's going to suck to be him even more than it already does.

Pluto has been reduced to sending noises (e.g. Grrr) with his turn by a rather vicious ambush. He tried to get clever and run a platoon around the side of his main attack. They got held up by a few MG42s (who says they're undermodeled) and scary looking jacko-lanterns, then cut to pieces at a cost to me of nothing but a few bullets and a little flamethrower jelly.

His main attack is also a bit stalled, as the FT in CMBO appears to be slightly overmodeled: I managed to set a wet dirt road on fire with a few bursts from an FT. Quite the gamey trick that I'll have to remember for the future. The Greyhound that was parked there went up along with it. Now the lord of the underworld has to drive his armor across the wet and bog-inducing ground.