Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now '49 was a YEAR, the last of the celebrated 40's and really the last year of note before the ennui of the 50's.

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]<hr></blockquote>

Ye gods Joe, but you're an old fart. Drop those AARP coupons and set palsied fingers to keyboard and send me a setup. I ache for revenge after the terrible smashing and bashing you administered to my poor forces in the dark of a village last year. You babble, you drool, you cough up dust like something out of a bad mummy movie, and, what's worse, you play flight sims.

So pull your pants up to your nipples, put a roll in your pocket 'for later', and get crackin'!

[Croda]

Hiram-

You're so cute when you're angry.

Tell your cats that I said 'Hi' and that I'll be by soon to 'collect' them.

Enjoy the game on Sunday.

Croda

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

A daydream that gets me through the day:

Croda on the turnpike. Sweating and scared spitless. A semi barrels down the highway and clips him. He is weeping openly now. Thousands of Pennsylvanian’s zoom past him and give him the finger. He scampers to his left and almost gets hit by a U.S. Postal jeep. Croda still reeks from soiling himself an hour ago. One single lucky minivan hits him squarely and sends him into the air and we hear a piercing howl come from his syphilitic frame. One by one, vehicles continue hitting him, keeping him in the air. He is bounced around like a volleyball. Each hit shatters another one of his body parts.

I feel better now.

Edited because it's the right thing to do.

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem:

Ye gods Joe, but you're an old fart. Drop those AARP coupons and set palsied fingers to keyboard and send me a setup. I ache for revenge after the terrible smashing and bashing you administered to my poor forces in the dark of a village last year. You babble, you drool, you cough up dust like something out of a bad mummy movie, and, what's worse, you play flight sims.

So pull your pants up to your nipples, put a roll in your pocket 'for later', and get crackin'!<hr></blockquote>Excuse me? Did I say I was BORN in 1949? I did not, I merely stated, as is widely recognized, that '49 was a hell of a year and far more worthy of recognition than some piddly little last year of the 1950's.

As to your challenge {sigh} ... I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt since you demanded a setup and probably thought that was sufficient. But it was a particularly POOR challenge wasn't it dalem? You DO feel ashamed of yourself I hope? WE all feel ashamed of you.

I see in your challenge no observance of the proper forms as set forth in the Code Duello. There is no statement of offense given or taken, there is no ringing defiance and there is no appointment of a second with whom MY second can treat to arrange the meeting. I've made my feelings on this subject quite clear and I'll not change my position ... certainly not for the likes of you.

Joe

[Croda]

Hiram-

I daydream about naked women.

Now clean the drool off of your chin, tell the demons that you don't have time to talk now, and send me a turn. You'll know it's the right one when you see little Crodas splattering the little Hirams all over the map.

As for the Turnpike, I live very close to it and could walk over if needed, but my team won yesterday so I don't feel too suicidal.

Ta Ta For Now.

Croda

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

The sounds of vehicle horns and epithets reverberate in Croda’s head as he struggles to find his exit on foot. He lost one of his Pokemon sneakers a while ago. He had wrestled them away from a little girl and barely won because she was a tough fight as they all are when you are a wussy boy. His backpack was still firmly tied to him though. It is packed with his comic book collection and assorted lubricants for the trip to the local High School. The boy’s JV wrestling club was meeting today even though they had been warned about the dangers of a rabid Croda. The coach had said “If you feed a Croda, it will try to hump you. If you look at a Croda, it will try to hump you. Never let a Croda become an “inner Croda”.

All of this is meaningless to the simple minded burgler of butts as he gets smashed around on the turnpike.

Edited because it's what I do.

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

[Croda]

Hiram-

A Pokemon sneaker.

That's very amusing.

I bet your mom likes to cuddle you and make you cookies when you tell a funny like that.

Are you afraid that if you turn on your computer to send me a turn that you'll see your Eagles desktop, and your Eagles screen saver, and your Eagles mousepad, and your Eagles desktop icons, and your Eagles cursor, and your dancing Eagles cheerleader, and your football signed by Bubby Brister, and you'll cry?

It's ok.

Cry a little.

It helped the Puttsburgh People.

Go on and cry.

Cry.

Cry you pansy.

Cry.

Croda

[Speedbump]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander:

Oh, and Speedbump is losing 'cause I've got all the flags.<hr></blockquote>

Assuming this to be true, (and mind you, you are normally so drunk you could be speaking of a completely different game) it is another example of gamey behavior. Iskander claims that he is already in possession of the victory locations in a Meeting Engagement on a large map. Given that we are in turn 4 and my stout-hearted Brits are collapsing from exhaustion, and no where near the center of the map, you either gave yourself a setup zone close to the center of the map, or transport!!!

Next time, you gamey bastage, I will demand independent parties to set up th...damn, we did that last time didn't we? I believe it was my former liege who gave me green Frenchmen, Frenchies I say!, against your Sturmtruppen from hell! That's it! dalem, I will act as your second in your challenge to old joe, (frankly I think 1949 was his graduation date)!

Speedbump

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Excuse me? Did I say I was BORN in 1949? I did not, I merely stated, as is widely recognized, that '49 was a hell of a year and far more worthy of recognition than some piddly little last year of the 1950's.

<hr></blockquote>

I know, O Hoary One. I didn't mean to imply that you were born in 1949, because we all know that you were actually born somewhere back in the Pleistocene, but the mere fact that you are aware of the positives of 1949 makes me feel at once happy, that someone of your advancing years can still vaguely track the passing of time, and yet sad; knowing that, since you have lived many thousands of years already, there is no reason to believe that will not continue to haunt the halls of the still-living for decades to come.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

As to your challenge {sigh} ... I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt since you demanded a setup and probably thought that was sufficient. But it was a particularly POOR challenge wasn't it dalem? You DO feel ashamed of yourself I hope? WE all feel ashamed of you.

<hr></blockquote>

The only thing I am ashamed of is that I share some common bits of genetic code with you, both of us being descended from some common ape-like ancestor millions of years ago. A pity your genetic ancestors, whatever they were, didn't survive long enough to eat you when they had the chance.

Oh, and I am ashamed of that one chick that I had sex with just because the pizza was late. Yeah, that was a bad one.

And then I guess I'm ashamed of doing her again the following weekend, for no good reason.

Yeah, so that's really three things I'm ashamed of, Joe. But rest assured that you are at the top of that list.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

I see in your challenge no observance of the proper forms as set forth in the Code Duello. There is no statement of offense given or taken, there is no ringing defiance and there is no appointment of a second with whom MY second can treat to arrange the meeting. I've made my feelings on this subject quite clear and I'll not change my position ... certainly not for the likes of you.

Joe

<hr></blockquote>

If you were half a man instead of half a howler monkey you would know that a challenge from the heart need not follow such complex forms as you have outlined, but since it's 12 noon CST and you are no doubt preparing to shuffle off to your 1pm late dinner at the local "Bingo & Bland Food Emporium", I'll be quick about it.

Offence given and taken: Well, your very existance offends me. The fact that you play flight sims and enjoy them (as previously stated quite clearly) is merely icing on the hate cake, and by itself reason enough to crush the life out of you on the field of battle.

Ringing challenge: See above. Not to be confused with the ringing in your ears.

Seconds: While I'm not a big fan of Sloppy Seconds, they're better than Sloppy Joes, so I nominate my squire PondScum.

I suggest a Der Kessel scenario, since they give the best bang for the buck.

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: dalem ]</p>

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

The authorities finally surround the slavering maniac on the highway. All they hear him say over and over is “Hee Rum, Hee Rum” His photo matches that of the one posted at the local boyscout meeting place. It was labeled as “Idiotic and Dangerous” It seems that Croda had been caught many times trying to tempt the local scouts with comic books and quarters for the arcade. He would then take them home to his abode and force them to play Crodaburg until they would go comatose. In Croda’s addled brain there played the words “I like the nightlife, I like to boogie” but all he could say was “Hee Rum”. His vacant stare unsettled the local constabulary and his fetid stench turned their stomachs. Mechanicsburg would never be the same.

The local mayor outlawed the naming of any child, pet, or appliance with the unimaginative name of Croda and had the local prison clean up all of the Croda droppings from the highway. “Never again, will we be plagued with this sort of riff raff”, the local police chief was quoted as saying.

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Speedbump:

dalem, I will act as your second in your challenge to old joe, (frankly I think 1949 was his graduation date)!

Speedbump<hr></blockquote>

Ahh, I appreciate the offer, but have already pegged my squire PondScum for this job. Perhaps you could coach him through the hard parts, like not screaming in terror when he first meets Joe.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram:

Nyah, Nyah, Nyah <hr></blockquote>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:

Nyah, Nyah, Nyah <hr></blockquote>

OOoooo! <big>Slap-Fight! Slap-Fight!</big>

[Marlow]

Does anyone else feel slighted that BTS just padlocks the old MBT without so much as a "by your leave," or "alright you useless bunch of wankers, move your sorry butts to the officially blessed new pit of corruption."

BTS doesn't love us anymore. Sniff, Sniff.

***

Hiram me lad, How about them Eagles!! I share your pain, (snicker, snicker).

***

Dale Evans, should Uncle Jo try to wuss out on your game on the basis that a Der Kessel battle might not be truely double blind, I've got a couple of virgin (down...) battles that I could give you.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Offence given and taken: Well, your very existance offends me. The fact that you play flight sims and enjoy them (as previously stated quite clearly) is merely icing on the hate cake, and by itself reason enough to crush the life out of you on the field of battle.<hr></blockquote> Oh please, is that the best you can do? Well, yes, considering that's it YOU I suppose it is the best you can do.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Ringing challenge: See above. Not to be confused with the ringing in your ears.<hr></blockquote> See above, not to be confused with confusion of which you are a master.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Seconds: While I'm not a big fan of Sloppy Seconds, they're better than Sloppy Joes, so I nominate my squire PondScum.<hr></blockquote> Fine, right, whatever ... damned shame you don't have any Knights who would stand for you but there you have it. I, OTOH, nominate the noble Seanachai to act for me in this matter.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>I suggest a Der Kessel scenario, since they give the best bang for the buck.<hr></blockquote> Oh no you don't lad. YOU, as the challenger, choose the weapons (the size and type of engagement if you please), while I as the offended party choose the ground (the map you see). Therefore I shall ask Seanachai to select and or create a suitable map for our meeting ... NO DAMNED SNOW!

You then, with the help of your [sneer] Second [/sneer], can then determine the size and parameters of the forces to be used. We will then each purchase said forces and our seconds will place them on the map for our battle.

Joe

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

A dumpster sits in the middle the highway and inside is Croda and Marlow passionately making the double backed beast.

frazza

frazza

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh no you don't lad.

You can put your hand on my thigh only after kissing me (no tongue) for at least twenty-seven minutes. As long as the dome light is on then you can touch my bra but if the windows are down one hand must always remain on my shoulder. On school nights I will twitch nervously whenever I detect both hands in motion at the same time, and on weekends after 10pm I will nervously ask you what time it is every eight minutes.

Joe

<hr></blockquote>

Geez, Joe. Maybe I'll just go play against the AI...

Fine, Sunshine does a map, we pick forces, and our seconds place them for us. Hopefully your second will also move all your pieces for you because then maybe I'll have some fun. I'll tell you how badly he/you lost in a couple of weeks.

Now where are those tisues....

[Herr Oberst]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

It may not pan out, but I'm waiting for the 'correct' moves for the curent turn to fly down on angel's wings and make itself manifest.

<hr></blockquote>

Still holding out hope for a win in our battle, o wizened one? Croda!, thats a bad idea.

So, where's my effing turn??? I, at least, was seriously ill when I took a short break from our battle, and there was a notable lack of posts on my part (at least I noted the change). You, on the other hand, have been sitting on the last turn so long that I am sure it has started growing mushrooms.

Morearty has at least returned a turn. (Note to self: Play more turns while in a fevered state. That last one to Morearty was actually productive!)

Oh, and Andreas, you still suck for having created this abomination of a scenario.

[edited 'cause I said I would!]

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]</p>

[Leeo]

Apparently Joe is a combat-tease.

And he looked like he'd put-out, I mean -UP, a fair fight.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:

Apparently Joe is a combat-tease.

And he looked like he'd put-out, I mean -UP, a fair fight.<hr></blockquote> It is to ENSURE a fair fight, young Leeo, that I insist upon the protocols being followed! I've had too many battles against some {couStukagh, who would take unfair advantage to be too trusting of this lot ... especially this lot come to think of it.

And, considering how badly I trounced poor dalem in our last match, it's only fair to give him EVERY benefit ... he'll likely need it don't you think?

Joe

[Lars]

Helpful Hints from the Weekend:

Hic) Never drink out of a bottle if you can’t read the label (although Berserkja should have been a clue).

Ouch) Never attempt a plumbing job with a hangover. (hcuO

Damn) Never try to serve legal papers on someone who is still in Detox.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo, about Hiram and Croda:

OOoooo! <big>Slap-Fight! Slap-Fight!</big><hr></blockquote>

That is the best source of entertainment I have read for some time.

I look forward to further team losses between these two because it trully inspires the venom within.

Now all we need is the stenographers to entertain us during half-time, and free beer, and life will be complete.

Mace

[Abn_Ranger87]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum:

[QB] Gaminess update: I am evil, as Abn_Ranger is finding to his cost. Turn 1: we run at each other headlong. My Pak-o-death sits hidden on top of a commanding height, with LOS to the entire battlefield. Turn 2: our infantry begins some serious mutual mauling, while the gamey bastage's artillery starts firing blind on my Pak-o-death's hiding place. "Hope you didn't have anything important on that nice hilltop" he gloats. Turn 3: "You mean the hilltop that you're shelling while the real battle is elsewhere?" I reply. He falls for it, stops his artillery, my Pak-o-death reveals itself, and lo, there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth and exploding amongst his armor. Life is good. And did I mention that my artillery-free Fallschirmgirbils eviscerated his point platoon? Life is good.

[QB]<hr></blockquote>

It seems my unseemly sheen of fishy refuse on a puddle opponent has vastly out-stated his early successes. His Pak was conveniently placed in the most obvious spot on the map and came out of hiding to abuse a poor little Daimler. Temporarily lifting a bombardment of suspected enemy positions is a very useful technique that will cause the overconfident to rise up and spew AT round after AT round in an attempt to plow the local farmer's field for them.

As far as his crunchies go... well now that I know he has Deutch paras playing in the woods... My trusty engineers have suffered but a single casualty to their sputtering, un-coordinated efforts. FTs will be livening up the scene momentarily with his Jaegermeister soaked boys giving great impression of match-heads...

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum:

Now if it could return a fecking turn we could get even more bored in SollieVille, where I think we were about to knock a house down, comrade

<hr></blockquote>

Bugger, bugger, bugger... you remembered... Well, I suppose it was marginally more interesting last turn... I was hoping there would be something in that building to see... and there wasn't... we could do the same to all of them to see if there are things inside other buildings... I mean, if you want, I could put some of me blasted gay troopers in a building, just to create some variety, and then if we agree to target the same trp we would only have to wait 6 or 7 turns to see something happen... thats if the AI doesn't make them retreat, which would be likely. And then we'd have to start again... infact, thinking about it, I'm almost getting excited about seeing a Sherman moving through the streets... but with all this artillery around I sure it wouldn't be moving for long. Heck, it aint even MARINE artillery.

I bet you feeling really glad you're playing me... well that's alright, don't thank me, no one does,

Yeknod

[Yeknodathon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum:

Now if it could return a fecking turn we could get even more bored in SollieVille, where I think we were about to knock a house down, comrade

<hr></blockquote>

PondDuck

In fact, thinking about this a bit more, your desire to want another turn suggests the qualities of doggedness, determination and persistence in the face of this unending tide of tedium... PondDuck, I mean you actually want more of this? Look, a bit of advice, just give up and embrace the gloom,, no one will mind in the slightest... or for that matter notice

Yeknod

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh no you don't lad. YOU, as the challenger, choose the weapons (the size and type of engagement if you please), while I as the offended party choose the ground (the map you see). Therefore I shall ask Seanachai to select and or create a suitable map for our meeting ... NO DAMNED SNOW!

You then, with the help of your [sneer] Second [/sneer], can then determine the size and parameters of the forces to be used. We will then each purchase said forces and our seconds will place them on the map for our battle.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

While I'm happy to act for you in this matter, Joe, it seems like a lot of work. He lives here in town now, can't I just go over to his house, club him to death, and then put him through the wood-chipper?