Berlichtingen Posted February 23, 2001 Share Posted February 23, 2001 Originally posted by Croda: I also hereby proclaim Crodaburg in all of it's evil unimportance and vicious irrelevence to be the official scenario for entry to the 'Pool. Proclaim away Croda. Meanwhile, we will ignore you as you richly deserve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 24, 2001 Author Share Posted February 24, 2001 Lorak: It's all YOUR fault. Promoting and mainstreamimng Croda like that.Your blanket Proclamation Emancipation Squirius has caused untold mischief. Croda, I maybe your former Liege, but I still have the belt. You remember the belt don't cha boy. Stop that twitching about yer face when I am talking to you and let go of your forelock. Now stop this pansing around like some syphlitic vagrant panhandling cogentially deformed and pathologically challenged (see Seanpoo, I used the "C" word) pre-vert on the corner. "Hey meester, you want to see my Crodabrg? 3 times a virgin today, see meester" It really is unseemly. What did I ever see I you boy? Oh yeah, but as long as they don't get a search warrant you'll be okay. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram edited to heap more abuse on the formersquirenevertobekniggeted [This message has been edited by jd (edited 02-23-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Lorak, Let it be writ in the book of ... uh ... well, your book whatever the hell it is (probably the flyleaf of that spirited tome "Orgy Beach Blanket Sex Slaves"). Agua Perdido, having achieved member status and having been sponsored by a Knight of the Pool (that would be ME) and having met all other necessary requirements (provided that his check clears) is hereby and should be considered a SQUIRE of The One The True The CessPool and his name should be inscribed on the roll of same. I shall, of course, undertake my duty to him by instructing him in the various tasks he is to perform so that he will bring dishonor and disrepute to the CessPool as a hole ... as, of course, it is. I shall bask in the glory of his victories, claiming all the credit while I chide and express disappointment in his losses since he clearly wasn't paying attention to my lessons. A squire is a ... nice ... thing to have, I recommend it to all. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: A squire is a ... nice ... thing to have, I recommend it to all. Pardon?! Mace [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 02-23-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 24, 2001 Author Share Posted February 24, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: A squire is a ... nice ... thing to have, I recommend it to all. Joe may I remind you that I have tried it twice. Croda and PeterBleeter. One tried to poison, shoot and otherwise cause great harm while trying to boink his mum and the other turned Mace on to sheep. They'll only break your heart, Joe. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 One tried to poison, shoot and otherwise cause great harm while trying to boink his mum and the other turned Mace on to sheep. They'll only break your heart, Joe. Ah yes, you take them into your hearth (note ... HEARTH, not heart, that was your mistake I suspect), teach them, mold them, laugh at their puppy like eagerness, scold them when they piddle on the floor and ... ultimately ... shed a tear when they go out on their own {sigh}. But it's the way of the world you know. The actions of the first squire seem in keeping with the high standards of the 'pool, I don't doubt you are proud of him. As to the sheep, I believe that Mace KNEW sheep (if you get my drift) LONG before his squire. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treeburst155 Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 MarkIV, That was a mutha-beautiful piece you wrote and precisely the reason why I shall never leave you alone. I invest thirty seconds of my valuable time in you and in return I get the thrill of knowing you wasted at least several minutes of your life in reply. The fact that my juvenile taunting and insults even draws a response from you shows all that I can pull you out of my hat anytime I want. Do you not realize that you exist for the sole purpose of entertaining me? You are a mere plaything of mine. Considering my lowly status on The Thread, where does that put you? Don't ever assume that I wish to play you. When I want to play you I will taunt you properly. For now I choose only to take you out of your box now and then. Right now I feel the urge to stuff you back where you belong until I get bored with the crap others post here. In you go until I crank the handle again. Treeburst155 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 I will have my CD tomorrow, so quake with fear you sorry bastards. As far as I can tell, I owe games to: Goanna jd Chrisl And turns to: Lorak PeterNZer (Who I shall not send any turns to, as he is a twit of the 12th order and deserves to suffer) If I missed anyone, let me know. I think Seanachai mentioned something about possibly playing me sometime in the not too distant future. And Armornut, I will play you when Berli comes in with icicles hanging from his horns. Kiss your wife for me, I'll be back for breakfast. ------------------ Fionn has his rule of 76, I have mine. Mine is much simpler, I get to buy whatever I want ... you get 76 points. -Joe Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armornut Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Meeks you prickless toad! Are you scared? To pick a date to play that will never come, that means you are scared. As for my wife,I have been meaning to tell you, thanks. I was having trouble getting rid of her since she was so tight that no one could do her. I hope that you two have many years of happiness, and am glad you can ignore the strech marks I left on her mouth (What was I to do? It did not fit anywhere else). I guess you do have some manhood, but who knew they came that small? Armornut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armornut Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Oh, and Meeks, remember that when you kiss your new girlfriend, that funny taste she has that never goes away, that is the remains of our passion togther. Enjoy! Armor-nut [This message has been edited by armornut (edited 02-23-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Originally posted by armornut: Hi, I'm vulgar. On a serious note, Numbnut, you should be a little less graphic in the Pool, we've been told not to be too crude. If you want to post your vulgarities, do so on the censor-free Crodaboard (Not to be confused with the despised Crodaburg). As to playing you, what on Earth would I be scared of? You cannot contract any communicable diseases via playing CM though I suppose I could laugh so hard at your pathetic grasp of tactics as to throw my back out. You see, you're a simple sot and I only play CM with interesting people (And Andreas once) or, at the very least, cursed space-monkeys using cheat codes, cough Mensch cough. Being neither, I will wait until you develop some kind of primative cortex before engaging you in a game of CM. ------------------ Fionn has his rule of 76, I have mine. Mine is much simpler, I get to buy whatever I want ... you get 76 points. -Joe Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Lorak Please scribe thusly Mark IV LOSS - 12 PeterNZ WIN - 78 Nothing like 14" of loving to teach a man who's boss. PeterNZ ------------------ "What do I care, I got laid last week" - Chupacabra "Bjorn again are really quite good!" - Germanboy - Official owner of the sig files of Dalem and Croda - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armornut Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 You cannot contract any communicable diseases via playing CM You are the one that was bragging about my wife, so anything I have you must have too. As for the vulgarity, if I have offened anyone else BUT Meeks I apologize. I can clean it up. As for me being simple, how would you know? You have never faced me in combat. I still think that your words and actions are like that of an scared fool who has no idea what to do when challenged (except say the challanger is not worthy). Seems like a cop out to me. But that is fine, one day you may over come your fear of me and send me a PBEM. Until then I will wait for your cowardly butt to grow some sac. Armornut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Probably more accurate to say that you aren't posting an update because we are all kicking your ass up between your ears Now, now your semi-evilness. No need to get your Victoria Secret Thong panties in a wad. It was one o'clock in the morning and I was still at work with that post. But so that the Pool-at-Large would know of your demise....the updates: The semi-sweet, won't melt in your hand, Berli has allowed me into the city. Altough the five wooden bunkers with MG were annoying at first, two have been removed with a)One shot of HE and, b)Gernades from a half-squad. I'm sure this minor imp from the 2nd circle of hell has armor around its at the extreme cornor of the map. Of course, I supposed his could have followed the time-honored tradition of yelling "Run Away...Run Away" as he saw my intrepid advance through the weak spot (not now Baushaus) of his defence. Marlow, sends turns about a freqently as Hiram gets laid. I guess I should be happy we've even started the battle. Oh, by the way. Did you like the arty? I got it special juuuuuust for you. Stevetherat is under the mistaken impression that running that Jumbo and Easy Eight around four miles of forest to reach my rear (I know disgusting isn't it?) will deter my attack and yield him kills. Just go ahead and place those two platoons in the tree line....that's it...good boy! Prepare to Die-a-Lot. GITommy is getting his flank nicely rolled up. Perhaps I should let Baushaus have a go at him? Croda you sackless wonder. Upgrade the damn thing, like I care. Good Berli man, is that your excuse? {Croda whine mode}Ah..Ah..you still have 1.05 and I don't like that...and...and so there!{/Croda whine mode} As for the rest of you kaniggits. You made Ratty a squire? Before I finish pasting his pale, Limey kester? Peterineasy, you pathetic, I need someone to keep me warm in the bed at night, cesspool leech. Send me a setup so that I may prove your folly of prematurely, (although I'm sure that's normal for you!) choosing a squire. --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Joe Shaw is a God on Earth The above, for those who haven't been slumming on the main board lately, is the title of the post by our friend Meeks. In it he justly gives me credit for my Rule of 76. I can't imagine why Matt locked it up, it seemed bang on topic to me. I have, however, had cause to revise my Rule of 76 due to protests of bad sportsmanship ... like I care. But bowing to public pressure I hereby unveil my NEW Rule of 76: JOE SHAW'S RULE OF 76 You get 76*, I get 76^ . Now what could be fairer than that? Joe *Points ^Units ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armornut Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Oh yeah and another thing: Stated by Meeks in a previous post; I will wait until you develop some kind of primative cortex before engaging you in a game of CM Most numb skulls know that without the primative cortex, humans and even primates like meek, could not live. You see it controls the autonomic nervous system, with out that you are skrewed. I have to say, that I am worried that Meeks is getting frontal brain damage( what he should have accused me of having) from all of the beating he has been getting. I almost do not want to play him, for fear of dropping his IQ to below functional levels. I mean can you still drink the water out of the toilet bowls when you are a drooling vegi? A concerned Armornut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Originally posted by Loderunner: Shoot! I just posted a new comment section! Anyhow, I'm new. Awww, isn't it just soooo cute, makes me want to flatten him like a spider beneath my American Standard dictonary (unabridged, of course). Can we keep him, he kind of reminds me of hiram, who I do miss so much, maybe roadkill here could be his replacement?? Besides, it would be so much fun to see those naive, walt disney animal eyes recoil in shock and horror as we teach him the true meaning of life in the 'pool. And he is so much more entertaining than that Dork of the Rings nerd who briefly fell in here. As an aside, sorry it took so long to check in (as if anybody even noticed), but I was away for a week, and it took another few days to catch up. Is it my imagination, or are the intervals between the pool getting evicted getting shorter and shorter, that last one didn't have that many posts in it yet. Well, it's quitting time, so I guess I can stop pretending to work and go home now. Who knows, I may even get some turns out. And Meeks, my leige, it would be such jolly fun to get annihilated by you again, but I don't have ICQ, and don't see you hanging around the usual spots, so how does one hook up with you???? ------------------ "With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal; In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 NZer, you gamey little nuke-slinging, edge-hugging, ahistorical monstrosity-swarming pig: Congratulations on your perception of victory. I have not seen the last file yet, so I assume you are lying like the filthy colonial refuse you are. There is no way I could have gotten out of that with a mere 12. I shoulda got 14 on the basis of fielding your gameyass 14" spree, alone. I shoulda got another 8 for facing down a brigade of Churchill VIIIs and dispatching several in the process. I shoulda got 24 for your broken e-mail, ski trips, version problems, and the peculiar odor that accompanies your attachments. Add that to my 12 for overall tactical excellence despite the command of inept, cowardly mutineers, and that should put me over the top. But I will review the numbers when I get home, to insure that I have done you no injustice. Yours in Sportsmanship, Mark IV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Lorak, get out your hammer and chisel and scribe thusly: Moriarty has been gutted, abused, decimated, mauled and darn near keel-hauled by Kitty. The noose of a gajillion Tigers, KTs, Panthers and PzIVs tightening about my gallant but hapless five M4s and recon platoon was too much. If anyone's looking for a fun (large) map for a tank fight, contact Berli and ask him for the "tank map." ------------------ "Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change." -- Oddball "Crap." -- Moriarty [This message has been edited by Moriarty (edited 02-23-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Look, fellers (as we might say in these har' parts), you may be goofy and/or drunk enough to let me schlepp through here, but PanzerNads? PLEASE. Isn't someone s'posed to be watching the door for this sort of ... person? Well, while we wait for the bouncer, taking a page from someone who can only be called "The Grinning Hyena's Bastard Son," it's song time!... Elijah sells rubbers to sailors jd pokes them through with a pin Lorak performs the abortions My God! How the money rolls in! Please go mix more drinks now. Besides calling a Mace a syncophantic oovaphiliac, I have no time to taunt anyone. ------------------ "I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory." "Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Tome update: Moriarty got his eyes clawed out by kitty. Lorak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawk-vfa201 Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 LORAK: looks like this is the place where you hdie your corrupted butt. I have sent you several times (one, two or more does not count) for a battle but you always dug in shamelessly. Does that mean you only reply to Commander who openly expose you and your stinking rotten body holes in public? Come out of your smelly pit and fight!!!!! <There, I guess this is a decent entrance to the cesspool> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Ahh Seahawk, Hiding? Me hiding? You sir are confused. Of course I wouldn't expect anything more from someone who lives on the left-coast. If you have indeed set me a challenge as of late. Under your yahoo e-mail... I have not recieved it. If is is under a diffrent account, give me a hint who you are. I keep a crap load of games going at a time, and recieve a crap load of request all the time also. Right now my dance card is pretty full. but I should have a spot or two open real soon. Go ahead and send me an e-mail on what type of battle your looking for ect... Lorak the loathed. ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Achtung Lorak – ÜberLizard Update After the hell that was Operation Lizard (final surrender in the mail later today perhaps), there is some very good news to report. The quick lizard, the crafty lizard, the cunning lizard, and let’s face it, the lizard that looks dashing in field grey has scored two wins over the most vile of cesspool denizens. Let’s start with the tactical victory over Cesspool corporate counsel, jdmorse. By the numbers, it was: jd: Loss (33 points), 119 casualties (30KIA) 7 vehicles and 2 mortars destroyed Goanna: Win (63 points), 38 casualties (11 KIA), 7 vehicles destroyed Mentioned in despatches: Obg Meister (first name must be schreck) who took it upon himself with no prompting from his commander and scored a 218 m head-on Sherman III kill. This tank had begun savaging his attached platoon as they attempted to hold back the tide of pasty, bad-toothed scum from crossing a river ford. Obg Meister's timely action saved a number of lives and results in him being awarded a Blue Tongue, First Class. Then came the unexpected early surrender from Rauchmeister Berlichtingen who on this occasion was leading a horde of Poles “On to the East” over a very well made map and scenario from Andreas. I tell you, there’s nothing like the first hand knowledge of one of those filthy continentals in making a good looking map. Berli looked to be rolling over me with workman-like ease up until I pissed him off with an ambush and tank kill on about turn 18. Then it was an all-on rush up the middle through a trademark cloud of 81mm mortar smoke. Losses began to mount heavily and just as the Poles reached the outskirts of town, they lost several AFVs and most of their morale. It was then a choice between painful withdraw and certain counterattack, or early surrender. By the numbers, then: Berli: Loss (17 points), 258 casulaties (63 KIA), 11 mortars and 56 vehicles lost Goanna Win (83 points), 182 casualties (47 KIA), 2 mortars, 3 guns and 7 vehicles lost Mentioned in despatches: Schreck team leader Obg Meister (must be his brother) who killed a Cromwell and caused one infantry casualty on turn 18 which started the bum rush and who drew over 20 rounds of HE from the remaining tanks while still firing. He is awarded a Skin Molt, Second Class. Unt Lotz, commander of a JadgPanzer IV is awarded a Golden Talon with Gum Leaf Cluster (posthumously) for taking out 4 AFV’s in the middle prior to the untimely deaths of he and his crew to a cast of thousands with little sense of humour or fair play. Both of these pitiful excuses for commanders are hereby challenged to win one for a change and take me on in a rematch: 1500 points. I will defend (in field grey, of course) with unrestricted forces (just to keep you guessing) against an unrestricted or combined arms force of your choosing. On the downside, I am apparently not out of the e-mail woods here in Oman. I got some turns very late, some right away and some broken into dozens of crunchy little chunks. It is the first day of the workweek in Oman (Sat), so I imagine it is a systematic problem and the IT weenies will sort it out without telling us later in the day. Also, I am going to the interior for two days Sun/Mon so don't be alarmed if you don't receive your flaming deaths back right away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 24, 2001 Share Posted February 24, 2001 Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: And Armornut, I will play you when Berli comes in with icicles hanging from his horns. Well, well, well Meeks m'boy, you need to pay more attention to the posts. I informed everyone that HELL HAD FROZEN OVER in the German version of Mutha Beautiful Thread, so I guess you owe Armornut a setup. Enjoy the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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