Panzer Leader Posted May 24, 2001 Share Posted May 24, 2001 Damn Yankee wrote: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> 100 quid/bucks/francs/deutschmarks/etc. + food + toys + veterinary bills buys you a small furry witless creature which lines your floors with hair, craps either on your carpet, in your garden or in the street, drools on your shoes, chews up anything that it can get its evil little paws on (the more expensive or irreplacable the better), and requires to be taken for a walk twice a day. Now just to add insult to injury, you're expected to pick up its crap and bring it home with you! And these people don't even think twice. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sir, that is my wife you just insulted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo: The email speaks for itself wussy boy<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now if you care to attempt to remove the stain upon your name and re-assert your cojones, then send a setup of your desire (Down! Not that desire!) and we shall see who shall have who........whom? Who(m) cares. Prob MkIV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken: Aha, Mace has the answer!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> 42! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken: They must be getting something in return that we don't know about. Aha, Mace has the answer!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sheep, yeah that's ok but dogs!! Man that's just sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse: Now if you care to attempt to remove the stain upon your name and re-assert your cojones, then send a setup of your desire .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I grow tired of the Quick Battle Madness (oy, the killing and all; it's killing me!). Berli? Would you please send a darkening scenario our way (to he or me, it matters not)? Just a few beats of your leathery wings will propel us on our way to a pointless, grasping, gasping, clutching demise. Thanks, ever so... [ 05-24-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo: Berli? Would you please send a darkening scenario our way (to he or me, it matters not)? Just a few beats of your leathery wings will propel us on our way to a pointless, grasping, gasping, clutching demise. Thanks, ever so... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As a way to get the hate off to a clean start, you might consider splitting up the choices for the parameters of the battle. Allies picks type of engagement, weather and month/year of battle. Axis picks VL or no VL, ground conditions, time of day. Berli and Bauhaus just did this with amusing results. Just a suggestion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 Lorak, scribe thusly: The gamey, high-point, long-narrow-map generatin' sumnabatchin, did I say gamey, FJ gerbil dug in, cheesy arty an' AA gun usin', gamey, smarmy, skulduggerous, pettifoggin', bastarrd Blousemouse has wrought a tactical victory against my stubborn but slow Brits. Gah!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: [QB]YK2 your smallest peep becomes my fervent desire!...[QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> OK, that's it. My folks, yes, even here in the loud, crude, nuclear-tipped 'States, taught me not to pick on women-folk, but enough is enough (and get this paltroon bald guy out of here...): YK2 (to keep things formal and by-the-rules), I have never seen you accept a Challenge. Like the only other non-WHAM (that being the other-fawned-over, Kitty), I have tired of your hoard of syncophants that worship at the Altar of Internal Plumbing. Hey: this is the friggin' Cesspool for YHWH's/Berli's (Pick a side. Now) sake! Specific taunt? Sure: another bleary Scot? Just like with OGSFetcetc I refer you to a book behind me on the shelf entitled "Famous Scottish Battles"; for, if it was "Famous Scottish Victories", it would only be a single piece of paper! It is said that a Scot could start a fight in an empty house, yet YOU seem not to be able to rise to a challenge in our Holy Koinonia! Pick a date! Pick the weather! (being Scots, probably fog and rain) Whatever you so desire (excluding SSN initiations like JABO! and Crodaburg, of course, I am a Knight, after all). If not, I shall have no choice but to denounce you once and for all as nothing but Cessy Window Dressing, not worth a glance. I await. In the name of the windswept heights of DalRiata, I challenge thee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParaBellum Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 >- look you are in the cesspool. It's dark, the air is foul and some strange creatures are crawling around in the corners. >-say "Hi! I come in peace. I wish to find an honorable opponent for a PBEM game." Some of the creatures start to look at you. At their feet you see the corpse of what looks like a newbie CM player. On the severed head there are words engraved. >-look at severed head the words read "DO A SEARCH!" >-say "Nice little pool you've got here. I really don't want to disturb you with, ah, the things you do." some of the creatures smile >-say "but if you get bored, just drop me a note and we'll have a nice game, thx." some of the creatures are moving toward you, making strange noises. >-run TOO LATE... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 Mensch, ye have tha thraid runnin' acumen o' a backed oop crapper. Pity ye didnae figure tha flag rushin' thang oot afore Ah got' mah gerbil throttlin' hands aroond yer laddies. Lemmee sae noo, an' all tha confusion did Ah destroy four or feeve o' ye Hetzers? Ah reckon even Elvis could manage tae beat ye, provided he had a baseball bat an' a bucket. Speedy has just received mah surrender. Ah couldnae quite see hoo he did at, but there were a definite smell of outright cheatin' ain tha air. At's thae ainly explanation fer tha result. Ah'm sure he'll be along ain a wee bit tae give ye all tha good news himsailf. Stuka as aboot tae scratch oot a win agin mae as waill. Ah didnae knoo tha cheat code he typed ain tae make his TD kill aboot sixty Panthers ain 7 seconds (or somethian' leek tha'), but at's seen haim come up smellin' roses. Nijis as a cowerin' dog. Prove mae wrong. Mace as almost killed daid agin, soon as Ah send haim a setup. Wha' are ye lookin' a' Jimmy? Seanachai as tearin' mah laddies a new wun. Bastaaaard! Marlow as slower an'Mensch ain a spellin' contest - nae turns fer months. MarkIV as havin' a grand taim beneath the unarrived artillery. Ah think mah FO were Hiram's best mate at grammer school. YK2, hellooooooo lassie. Right, tha's it. Tha rest o' ye kin sod off. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD [ 05-24-2001: Message edited by: OGSF ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ParaBellum: >- look you are in the cesspool. It's dark, the air is foul and some strange creatures are crawling around in the corners. >-say "Hi! I come in peace. I wish to find an honorable opponent for a PBEM game." Some of the creatures start to look at you. At their feet you see the corpse of what looks like a newbie CM player. On the severed head there are words engraved. >-look at severed head the words read "DO A SEARCH!" >-say "Nice little pool you've got here. I really don't want to disturb you with, ah, the things you do." some of the creatures smile >-say "but if you get bored, just drop me a note and we'll have a nice game, thx." some of the creatures are moving toward you, making strange noises. >-run TOO LATE...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> >something crawls in and is stepped on quickly. Taunting is the most certain way to get a PBEM. Creativity is spat upon and a maggot is not welcome. Your whiteness blinds us. >the inhabitants do not have nice games. Nothing nice here lives long. Find a friend and visit him. He cares. We do not. Exit immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF: ... Right, tha's it. Tha rest o' ye kin sod off. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Love it. If my Scotland-smut-reading-wife read your posts I'd see even less of her.... Nice to see to losing again, sirrah. Now be a good lad and name all the distilleries (active) in Islay, and I'll give you some scones with clotted cream (down St. Rat!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF: [QB Speedy has just received mah surrender. Ah couldnae quite see hoo he did at, but there were a definite smell of outright cheatin' ain tha air. At's thae ainly explanation fer tha result. Ah'm sure he'll be along ain a wee bit tae give ye all tha good news himsailf. ][/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes tis true Lorak, once again my brilliance and genius shine through the murky pool.Final score is 67 to 33 and I finally got to see the mad scot wannabes' much lamented Hummel. Don't ya just love those fb's when they come to the party. [ 05-24-2001: Message edited by: Speedy ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParaBellum Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan: >something crawls in and is stepped on quickly. Taunting is the most certain way to get a PBEM. Creativity is spat upon and a maggot is not welcome. Your whiteness blinds us. >the inhabitants do not have nice games. Nothing nice here lives long. Find a friend and visit him. He cares. We do not. Exit immediately.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think I don't like you. And either you or Rommel has some problems with german spelling. [ 05-24-2001: Message edited by: ParaBellum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 You all suck rocks. I sent in a relatively wonderful and poetic ÜberLizard Update yesterday which was unfortunately lost when the server took too damn long to post it. So, you will have to suffice with this. I drew my battle of the nipples with bauhaus and I am currently on holidays in Montana, which by the way has enogh sheep to make Mace think he dies and went to heaven. Anyway, if any of you have sent me turns to Oman or Sydney and would like to continue your eviseration from my current locale, please resend whatever you have to me at o_two@telstra.com. Submittals from OGSF and Aqua would be most prized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 I'm still looking for Stuka. Anyone? Anyone? Kitty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ParaBellum: I think I don't like you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If you don't like Mr. Phan, you're going to hate the rest of us. He's warm and phuzzy. I like to hug his Cromwells 'til their little turrets pop out. Gootchie-gootchie-goo, he's a cute lil feller. Tickle his belly with 20 mike-mikes, then a big 75mm smooches to him, little boomkins. You stinking lumps (we're done with mr9mm, this is for the rest of you sorry lot): I have been gone lo these many days, as previously advertised, at least partially in the company of a goddess, and not missing you all in the least, also a matter of record. I had to stay an extra day. Just now I have driven 5 straight hours home up the I-5, tastefully averting my gaze at the Rest Area where PeterNZer and chrisl met, and on my return, I find a bunch of mewling, fawning fan mail: "Please, Mr. IV, kick my ass"... "Bitte, Herr IV, vernichten Sie mich"... "Hoot mon, yar knochen the Calvin oota mae trrrooops cairn blarnabagh"... "Don Quatro, you get my imitacion pathetica de la tactica?"... usw. It's enough to make your skin crawl. Turns out in the AM and then gone fishin' for the weekend to the coast. Right now I'm getting drunk and catching up on some of the Boardie twaddle. I'm beginning to think they should close the bugger down 4 days every week, except for this, the One, the True, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander: OK, that's it. My folks, yes, even here in the loud, crude, nuclear-tipped 'States, taught me not to pick on women-folk, but...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And then a whole lot of ****e follows. You toad. You low-life, macro-brew swilling, squint-eyed dribble of pus. You slither on to the main stage, and make a challenge to 'the Fair Emma'. You're not worthy to buff her footware with your tongue, you spotty green-grey dweller under rocks. Although Chivalry is no longer necessary, it is not dead. I take up your challenge, you yet un-lanced, pus-filled boil on humanity's bottom. Send me a setup (have I mentioned that you're a toad?). I ask as my second Pawbroon, The French, to put you in your brain-mad, syphilitic place. This is a most formal challenge, you not-sufficiently-described-as-a-toad piece o' ****e. Should I fall, my second will take up this challenge. Your dangly bits have been assayed, and were found laughable in the face of your challenge of one of the Goddess's chosen. You utterly clueless toad. [ 05-25-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty: I'm still looking for Stuka. Anyone? Anyone?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My SS hamster-truppen were burying him (and his red-devil cronies) in his backyard. Just look for ears protuding from the turned soil. Mace (Home time, another working week over, I'm outta here)!!!! [ 05-25-2001: Message edited by: Mace ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty: I'm still looking for Stuka. Anyone? Anyone? Kitty<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bismallah! Kitty is back! Stuka and I are locked in a death struggle. Stuka promises to fly to Mace's side and give him a big, sloppy, open-mouthed kiss if I win. I think he's trying to motivate himself for victory. Dearest Mace: Over the next few weeks, while Stuka and I play out this QB, I ask that you brush and floss regularly, for Stuka's benefit. I'll give you enough warning of his impending loss so that you can avoid garlicy foods the night before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer: I think i am lucky to be back considering Chrisl almost killed me in his Car of Death (tyre lost tread on the freeway). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The poisoning didn't work either, but I'll get you next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: I ask as my second Pawbroon, The French, to put you in your brain-mad, syphilitic place.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Second to None Sir! That would fit. Errr, someone told you I have that thing with Emma? Like PBEM but with more intercourses. Yes, yes Emma see I am defending you! You Iskanding dolt! Emma doesn't PLAY, or at least not with you... As for the Picking of a Date, well, I'd say she is doing fine thanks. No to be a wee bit more formal, Emma aka the Serial Froger is out in the Bunnies up Scotland for 9 days. So tut then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty: I'm still looking for Stuka. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Here I am my pretty! So nice to see your well groomed whiskers in the 'pool again. I see your tail is raised in the traditional feline greeting fashion, If I had a tail I'd raise it right back atcha! In other news, Seanachai continues to Arty the ****e out of a small wooded area as if the Fuehrer himself were stationed there. Little does he realise the only inhabitants are a chronically depressed dachshund called Colin and a german shepard-boy called Hans who was out looking for his lost flock when it started raining British artillery. Retribution is soon to fall upon him in the form of the DLF (Dachsund Liberation Front) who are none too pleased with the rough treatment of Colin by his pimply faced Poms. Seanooby also appears to be of the belief that wheat offers protection against bullets and is manooverueuvering some troops around the woods right into the arms of a rather ticked off welcoming comittee. Should I emerge victor from this encounter, it is agreed that Seanoobilis will don a sheep costume and spend a night amongst Maces flock....a form of Russian roulette if you will. As a side note, I must say that 'Wild Turkey Bourbon is an amazing hangover cure and *Slurrrp*, I feel much better now, thank you. Must dash, kiddies. Its friday night and pizza, bourbon and friday night football awaits....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Dive Bombed: Its friday night and pizza, bourbon and friday night football awaits...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nope you Ozzie Centrist Wind Collector. It's Friday NOON. How can you fail to see the difference?! However, by Stuka Central Time, have a good evening mate! And choke on the peanuts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: Stuka promises to fly to Mace's side and give him a big, sloppy, open-mouthed kiss if I win. I think he's trying to motivate himself for victory.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As long as he doesn't slip in the tongue. <shrugs> But I think he will be inspired to victory because of the following outcome..... the official not-to-be-registered in the pool Stuka/Mace faceoff Lorak, please don't record this, it doesn't count (but I will take the opportunity to gloat) Waffen SS (manned by Mace hamster truppen, lead by Kitty Unterscharfurries!) 294 casualties (62KIA) 5 vehicles knocked out Men OK 205 Score 73 English Paratroopers (the one's with those big ears) 396 casualties (106 KIA) 60 captured 9 Mortars destroyed 4 Guns destroyed Men OK 4 Score 27 Allied Surrender, Axis Major Victory All within 30 turns....'tis a beautiful thing Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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