PENG I TAKE YOUR CHALLENGE TO THE UNDEAD…

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ParaBellum:

I would like a big pizza with salami, jam and lots of cheese, and pronto please!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I know I'm just a dumb Yank, but please oh please someone tell me that "jam" in German means something other than a spreadable (you know the drill by now, Bauhaus) condiment that you should never ever put on a pizza.

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Beer is too important for personal prejudices.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Quite right, which is why I am inviting all of you (except the SSN's/FAGGIT's/FNG's) around to my place to sample the best beer on the planet.

My own special Home Brew.......!

Oh yes, you can forget your Wild Turkey 101, this nectar is for gods.

With 11 secret herbs and spices (well kinda) and aged the appropriate time in my uber secret beer shed under controlled conditions (ie dark and thats about it) the result is a beer that gives a taste sensation similar to an angel dancing on your taste buds and a knee to the groin/Liverpool kiss kind of sensation to your brain.

Its made me the man I am today.

[ParaBellum]

That happens when you play the "ham and jam" scenario while typing posts...

Dalem, I meant ham.

[Stuka]

Don't Amurikans call "jelly" what the rest of the universe calls 'jam"?

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Don't Amurikans call "jelly" what the rest of the universe calls 'jam"?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Actually we have both "jams" and "jellies", and then we also have "preserves" too. I'm sure we grow less than 10% of the world's berries and yet use 90% of their mashed-up remains on our rolls and toast, blah blah blah.

And speaking of easily-spreadable fruits, hey Joe Flaw, where's my turn?

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Don't Amurikans call "jelly" what the rest of the universe calls 'jam"?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, you poor aussie, condemned to vegemite as the only thing to put on your bread in the morning. That's some really vile stuff, you know. Germans at least have nutella, and though I don't like it (*way* too sweet, like the pillsbury frosting in a can, and it just isn't right for breakfast) it does still qualify as food. Anyway, since you're accustomed to concentrated yeast extract (whose idea was that stuff?), you can be forgiven a lack of knowledge of the finer points of fruit products that one puts on toast in the morning. Jam often still has the seeds from whatever fruit it used to be (except maybe apricot pits or something) and is pretty much mushed up fruit, with excess sugar added, and usually pectin as well. Jelly is some strange stuff from which anything that might identify it as formerly having been a fruit is removed. It's very homogeneous, and tends to look more artificial. Kind of like extra-fruity jello™, only different. We also have preserves, which are pretty much like jam, and other things with names like "smushed fruit in a jar". Probably the legal distinction is the ratio of fruit to added sweetener (sugar or corn syrup) and other miscellaneous bits like pig lips and eyeballs, allowable ground up fingers from the factory workers, bug parts, etc.

In other news, I must note to Lorak that Abbot has defeated me with the copious use of 105 and 155 mm artillery on the attack against a small outpost of defenseless schoolchildren.

Elvis keeps throwing more and more troops at my lines, and I keep killing them. One more burning Hellcat this past turn.

Foobar should have his eyeballs poked out with a sharp stick and sent to the jelly factory (that's what they use to make the stuff gel). I got recruited into a coop game, with him on the other side, and his side stopped returning files.

MarkIV is really going to need a lot of IVs for his troops--most that I can see are running like scalded bunnies, and the rest are bleeding on the ground.

Harpooner, (in a practice match-a perfect deal: if I lose since he's my squire, he has to take the loss and I get the win) made a quick move on a bunch of buildings and occupied the VLs early. I immediately commenced to blow up said buildings with his troops inside. I guess he's learning something.

Morse hasn't returned a file in a couple days, but he was hurling his troops in a bloody mess against my defenders. Lots of things going boom and bang bang. Some of his things burning. Some of my guys running, lots of his running.

[ 05-26-2001: Message edited by: chrisl ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Dalem inquired thusly:hey Joe Flaw, where's my turn? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It will be, and you may quote me on this, in the last place you look for it. Have you checked under your bed? Perhaps in the nightstand? Where was the last place you remember seeing it? Does anyone else have any suggestions that might enable poor Dalem to find his turn?

Panzer Leader, (note, if you will ... and even if you won't) that your handle is now bolded and spelled correctly, thus reflecting your status as a Squire of the CessPool ... granted it's only to PawBroon but the forms must be observed) the scenario Jabo! is a state of mind, an homage to futility and hopelessness of nearly galactic scope and grandeur. It's purpose is to test the initiate, not in anything as trivial as skill in CM mind you, but in their ability to face certain defeat with head erect (sit down Bauhaus), flinging taunts and claiming victory despite abundant evidence to the contrary. A lesser person, i.e. one unsuited for the CessPool, would see the light and storm off in a huff, but the likely lad (or lass) will see it for what it is ... a thing of beauty to be played for the sheer art of the thing. Oh ... as to your question ... Phillies Phan once claimed to have played it as the Allies and gained only a draw, but I don't think that's possible, even for him.

Joe

[Panzer Leader]

Joe, thank you for using my proper name. It is an interesting scenario, Jabo! is, and that one I am playing with Mrspkr, however it was Jabos! I am playing (or was that is) with Speedbump. Or maybe I had that in reverse -- who cares? Besides the name, there is one other similarity:

They have been able to completely turn a fun game into one of utter discontent.

Really great scenarios, guys, thanks for picking them out. In one scenario, my entire strategy focuses on making sure every unit has a Fast Move line extending off the map each turn. The only joy in the movie is to see how many simultaneous yellow lines my tiger can attract.

In the other one, I have the wonderful chance to watch a nice long line of gigantic guns get slowly decimated by aircraft for 15 turns before a few cowardly brit with some shermans creep forward to inspect the carnage. The fun in this scenario is intelectual: "Just how many guns CAN a single bomb destroy?" I think I saw one bomb take out an entire divisional battery. Oh joy...

Oh and as far as Jabos!(or the other one -- who cares?) goes, it is also interesting to watch someone as inept as Mrspkr make enough mistakes that I am beginning to suspect I might gain a victory, phyrric though it may be

So, really, what I am trying to say is, does anyone with skill, or at least a modicum of joy in playing a good game, want to try a balanced, and perhaps refreshingly interesting scenario?

[ 05-27-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[ 05-27-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl:

Oh, you poor aussie, condemned to vegemite as the only thing to put on your bread in the morning<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mmmmmm. Vegemite on toast with a poached egg on top! *drools*

Yah, only we Aussies are man enough to eat vegemite and enjoy it.

It's not for the likes of those more sensitive types who would rather dress in high heals, suspenders and a scimpy negligee while watching themselves in the bedroom mirror.

Mace

[MrSpkr]

Hey Mace speaking of masochistic behaviors such as eating vegemite,

***shudder***

why don't you send me a turn, ya git!

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

So, really, what I am trying to say is, does anyone with skill, or at least a modicum of joy in playing a good game, want to try a balanced, and perhaps refreshingly interesting scenario?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Was long to get there.

I am proud of you.

Long winded and spamful.

Send a setup, no more than 1500 Pts, Cesspoll Rules of 37.

Oh and lest I forget, don't you have time to think about your posts?!

I mean, err, beforehand?

[ParaBellum]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

[QB

So, really, what I am trying to say is, does anyone with skill, or at least a modicum of joy in playing a good game, want to try a balanced, and perhaps refreshingly interesting scenario?

[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, there a lot of guys with more than enough skill to devastate your forces.

Not me, but you can still send me a setup.

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>dalem wrote:

Actually we have both "jams" and "jellies", and then we also have "preserves" too.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

But do you have chutney? A sandwich isn't a sandwich (and isn't edible, for that matter) without chutney.

Damn I hate food.

[David Aitken]

According to my dictionary, when President Kennedy said "Ich bin ein Berliner", he meant "I am a lightly fried yeast bun with jam filling and vanilla icing".

[BFCElvis]

David,

Yes we have chutney but it is used primarily in eclectic resturants. As in "roast pork tenderloin with habernaro and wine sauce with mango chutney".

As far as odd things, Philadelphia has something called "Scrapple". I don't believe is is widely available throughout the States and for good reason. It is butcher scraps ground up with some pepper and salt thrown in and savages slice it up and pan fry for breakfast. I wouldn't eat Scrapple again even if I was using Maces' mouth to do it.

chrisl, you lowercase letter named bastard, I have not receieved the Hellcat dying file so send ASAP.

[Thermopylae]

Mensch when someone becomes your squire, do they have to bring their own white flag? It would only seem fair, seeing as how your own supply must be running low, as indicated by your cowering like a frenchman. Send me a turn you worthless product of 33 beers and a broken condom.

Due to Mensch's apparent inability to work anything as complex as a commercial e-mail system, or for that matter a pointy object (hint: keep away from eye), I extend another challenge from beyond the pool to your very own sheep-shagging Mace , despite my fear that he will spend far too much time spreading vegemite on his naughty bits (followed by attempted acts which are physically impossible) to send turns in a timely fashion. Pick the fight Mace, and send me a setup.

[Panzer Leader]

Sir Pawbroon, you will play me? That somehow sounds sick and wrong, but sure thing I'll send one out tonight. I will pick some crazy sounding scenario off the web -- maybe one of Rommel22's -- they look interesting.

Parabellum yeah right. I will send you a QB where I am the defender.

Also, I wanted to clarify that I did not necessarily want a more challenging game, since even a trained monkey (like Mrspkr) can even give me a run for the money, I just wanted better scenarios.

Jabo! and its illegitimate half-sister Jabos! should be stricken from the cesspool's playlist. When they turn up, it is like when you're groovin' away to the classic rock station (you know -- they're playing Led Zeppelin or something) and then the next song comes on and its the Monkeys. Sheesh, it just ruins it.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Jabo! and its illegitimate half-sister Jabos! should be stricken from the cesspool's playlist<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

First of all, you Plains monkey, Jabo! (designed by the esteemed Knight Mr. Joe Shaw) is meant to test the commitment of the Pool wannabe. You were not supposed to enjoy it, but endure it. Otherwise, we would simply be letting anyone in here!

Second, Jabos! is a legitimate scenario, which I am currently winning as Germans against a non-Pool opponent.

So I leave you with a simple thought: Quit your bitchin'! You are lucky to have received games at all, let alone taking advantage of someone to which English is a second language!

Speedbump

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

But do you have chutney? A sandwich isn't a sandwich (and isn't edible, for that matter) without chutney.

Damn I hate food.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think an old girlfriend had chutney once, but she took some pills and stopped wearing tight jeans for a while and everything went back to normal.

And yes, it was awful on sandwiches.

[**YK2**]

oh look what i found an interet cafe so me being me couldnt resist the temptation to say hello excuse the poor grammer but this is telephone kyboard i am using and its pretty basic gotta go now..

but first hello gorgeous u know how much imiss you..talking to marcel of course

xxx

[jd]

leeoooooooooooooooo :eek: the petulant upstart (who lives entirely too close to my area for comfort), who hides behind his alter-identity of flouncy boy 9and has ears like Stuka...hmm wonder if dalem would liek a replacement set) has sent a Berli set up. Le Camp du Castellet Crossroads. Opening it with trepidation, I discover that there are no yawning chasms or firey pits, rather a very nicely detailed and designed set up. So despite that evilness may be just ahead, a tip o' the hat to the dark one for his work. My only complaint tho is since I am playing as the French, I have to keep seeing that garçon de grenouille sans jambes Paws mug staring out at me with that prognathus jaw of his.

chrysalises is complaining since he hasn't bothered to return the turn I sent FRIDAY ya putz. So in the spirit of compassion and help for the intelluctually challenged, a resend is on it's way. Wankers

Hiram is trouncing me in some abortion called Custer's last stand. To many field guns and my poor PzGr's are left out in the open...oh well it will do the boy good to think he can win one, but next time, the advantage shall be mine, muhahahaha!

Marltoad (he who plays two turns and disappears for awhile - I thnk this game startd in Feb!) is reduced to committing warcrimes against stragglers, because he can't move against my forces without dieing alot™

My fondest wish at this point is to hang another DRAW around Seanachai's neck like a rotting albatross, because it will irritate him so much. There can only be one, no two, no....arrgh, who cares!

wildbrat and markymark x owe turns whenever theyget around to it.

That is all...

[PawBroon]

I am not prognathus but fiendishly MODed.

I mean, seriously, I know about Kermit and what a terrific play on words that would be for French but I am GREEN for Mesake!

Well, and there is one third of me gone AWOL too.

That was the part I was using with Emma!

Sheesh...

[dalem]

Hey I owe Lawdog a setup and I'm getting sick of QBs.

1. Does anyone have a good medium-sized scenario they want to try out on us, and

2. Is that acceptable to you, Lawdog?

Other than that, well,

Josie and the Shawcats apparently thinks that a bunch of unfunny words strung together to make an unwitty remark are the same as actually sending me a turn.

Dame Achin' is carefully doing nothing at all for the first 8 turns of our rematch. I assume he's getting his North Koreans all poppy-seeded up for a last-minute charge into a good old U.S. of A. .30 caliber cleansing.

SpeedyHump is still knocking buildings down with abandon, and getting off the occasional gamey-sprinting-bazooka-snap-shot into my innocent TDs. His boys are also doing a stellar job of absorbing many, many MG bullets.

WhirliBerli is attempting a full-blown retreat. While I respect that, I still hate him enough to try to mow them down like bad German wheat.

Marlowbrow has discovered the joy of the six HMG42 teams that a German Heavy Weapons Company brings. Unfortunately for him, he has revealed their positions to me. The pummeling will soon begin in earnest.

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:

I am ...fiendishly MODed.

That was the part I was using with Emma!

Sheesh...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Really Marcel, don't you think in the interest of full disclosure you reall need to let Emma know that what she thought was so "magnifique" was really a low res .bmp stretched about as far as it could go.

[ 05-27-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[PawBroon]

The longer the stretch, the bigger the pixels...

Now skew you!!