A Peng Challenge Too Far

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

this was a PLAYTEST of Berli's evil little brew called the Kall Trail.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I have never created a scenario called 'Kall Trail'. I suggest you double check the author, because that is not mine

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Uh, Aitken, its KwazyDog.

[ 09-20-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yah, but he can still spell Kwazydawg.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

I have never created a scenario called 'Kall Trail'. I suggest you double check the author, because that is not mine<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No author listed in the friefings -- I presumed it was yours because it was, well, evil.

[OGSF]

Lorak!! Are ye noo still with us mon? Gi' us a sign o' ye presence bae markin' thus wun oop ain tha tome o' dispair!

OGSF WIN!!! 72

Seanachai Routed fraim tha field o' battle! 28

Bein' an' amoontin' tae a Major Victory.

Ah'm aboot tae send tha abomination called "Fallen Eagles" fraim Der Kessell tae Speedy, tha toad jumpin snot gobbin' bastaarrrrd. Stand bae fer a quick follow oop victory! Af'n at gi's badly, Ah'll bae blamin' tha stinkin' play testers...aye, ye knoo who ye are.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Seanachai]

Ask not who was strong

ask not who was weak

it was a battle won

by good Scot's speak

Lorak, oh my Lorak

when you return to us

mark in the Cesspool tome

as our Herald you must

A 'great and famous victory'

for the false Aussie Scot

over Seanachai

whose battle was lost.

It was a brae bluidy battle, laddie.

That very epitome of spittle spraying Wonder Scot, OGSF, through a brutal and manifestly 'ungentlemanly' application of his resources, defeated the far more civilized and erudite forces of myself, Seanachai.

While I acknowledge the thoroughness with which he drove home his assault, I question the moral integrity of anyone who could sit on a ridgeline opposite a lowland village hammering sheep and goat droppings into the eyes of the defense by means of large caliber tracked vehicles.

In the vernacular:

OGSF: Major Allied Victory

Seanachai: Axis Moral Defeat

Mind, anyone who'd seen the map afterwards would have snickered at the low level of victory OGSF managed, given that my forces were reduced to dangling dachshund kidneys on a stick before his advancing troops as a form of localized juju defense initiative.

[Berlichtingen]

Picture, if you will, a flattened Goanna on a lonely road with a Berli shaped tire print across its back...

Lorak!

Chalk one up for me against the Lizard

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Picture, if you will, a flattened Goanna on a lonely road with a Berli shaped tire print across its back...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'll take the framed, low-numbered limited edition print, please. Please process my Visa or MasterCard.

This has been the saddest day of my CM life (the above notwithstanding). Not because I am falsely accused. Not because my tenuous case was further damaged by the rash defense of Seanachai, who graciously urged that my sentence be commuted to burning (touching, that). Not because the bile I have lavished on the whole wet planet has been misconstrued as being targeted at two of its least significant subspecies, whom I had actually thought I had somewhat overlooked and had earmarked for a right good flogging one of these days.

No, the saddest moment was finding that I shared the docket with MrSpkr. This is like finding your own wax effigy in Mme. Tussaud's next to Bozo the Clown's. It is one thing to be tarred with the same brush, but the depths of ignominy to be publicly disemvowelled, nay, defennostrated, in the company of this horribly common man.

I hang his head in shame.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

No author listed in the friefings -- I presumed it was yours because it was, well, evil.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Er, I find the concept of an author, or any mortal being, listed in the 'friefings' disturbing.

Were not the 'Friefings' the collected, secret writings of a group dedicated to the overthrow of Finland, the demonization of the Finns, and have they not, in fact, been thoroughly discredited and dismissed as 'UberFinn Deniers'?

I remember now why I seldom go out on to the Outer Boards anymore.

For one thing, I'm often moved to post, which is never a good idea, as I don't think my perspective is valued (as opposed to here, where I know it's utterly dismissed, but I'm not instantly confronted with the knowledge that it was dismissed by halfwits...well, at least not halfwits whose opinions I hold in complete contempt).

Bloody Berliland, it's late again and I'm exhausted.

I shall return tomorrow to answer certain furry mammals who crave my attention.

As you post, so shall you reap. I've a big field o' thistles coming up on the Outer Boards.

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

For one thing, I'm often moved to post, which is never a good idea, as I don't think my perspective is valued (as opposed to here, where I know it's utterly dismissed, but I'm not instantly confronted with the knowledge that it was dismissed by halfwits...well, at least not halfwits whose opinions I hold in complete contempt).

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Poor Sean, disturbed by the outer board and feeling sorry for himself. I know two birkenstock wearing anthropologists who watch this forum and record every post you make, looking to plumb the depths of primitive culture. They would both be studying Yanomaomi except they find you and Speak better primitive subjects for their Margaret Mead / Alfred Kroeber like ponderings. Plus, its a hell of a lot cheaper than flying to Brazil.

So at least you have someone paying attention to what you say, and it could be worse, you could have been in front of that buzz saw indictment that Mark IV and Speak faced, the nationalistic bastards.

Sorry for invading the forum, I am returning to the straights now.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

This has been the saddest day of my CM life (the above notwithstanding). Not because I am falsely accused...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You're sad?! I've been harshly and cuttingly dismissed by Colonel_Deadmarsh for dismissing yet another of his endless 'Socratic Method for ADD Gameplayers' threads.

I'm damn near suicidal, lad. How will I ever face my peers with him having posted that I'm 'pretentious'? Still, I suppose even a blind pig finds an acorn occassionaly.

Oh, and on the Fenno thread I missed the whole point of the whinging! I bounced right in with an attack on the Aussies, and he was really all concerned about the Finns!

You might point out, in my defense of your defense, that I did expose MrSpkr as a Texan.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Poor Sean, disturbed by the outer board and feeling sorry for himself. I know two birkenstock wearing anthropologists who watch this forum and record every post you make, looking to plumb the depths of primitive culture. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

At last! The acknowledgement I deserve! I am the very depth of a primitive culture.

Actually, that is pretty much what I set out to achieve by proffering my first challenge to Peng.

Thanks, Slapdragon. I can sleep now.

And people have the gall to say my life ain't workin' out?!

[Fenno]

Having made my notorious entree and having cleared out the the reeking air of the outer board, not to speak about elevating the level of ethnic jokes... ehm not very high but anyway... I felt an inexplicable urge to take a (hopefully short) dip in the putrid sludge of the pool.

Let the confession come out! Silenced by the great bald one I come to thee knowing to be beyond all hope, the words of the poet dead on my lips, an obol in my mouth. But I loathfully spit the piece of nickel, just to see the worthless, salivated piece of metall dug out from between the two last unconnected braincells of Seany, who was foolish enough put his jelly head out from this stench, roll here and end up licked and sucked by you blister-handed wannabe oarsmen.

Hold it! Now let me put my head down - not in awe and most certainly not in respect - but I hear your bowells moving, I can smell the blitz of gastric acid seeking its way out - the sorry excuses of taunts by those two unmentionable ones who should know to loath themselves even more than each other, those unterpoolers (any lower you can't get!) who so tellingly address me not not as sir, but ûber!

[ 09-21-2001: Message edited by: Fenno ]

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fenno:

notorious entree... not to speak about elevating... Let the confession come out! worthless, salivated piece of metall dug out from between... licked and sucked by blister-handed wannabe oarsmen.

Now let me put my head down seeking its way (any lower you can't get!)... who so tellingly address me not not<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

How incredibly Finnish of you. You've been dozing off during your english classes again haven't you? Tsk tsk.

[Fenno]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

How credibly Finn of you. You bean dossing oph dzuring yoer english clazes agoen haven't you? Zschc Chsz.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why thank you, neighbour! I must say I am thrilled and honoured that the first oarman to answer my call rises from the pit of the surströmning scented Wasa-skeppet! As your Danish unterkusinen would say: to bilge or not to bilge? Never mind my friend, you (but just you!) can still call me överst!

For a second I'll be silent, I'll sink deeply in myself and ponder about the irreverable trauma caused by my Swedish teacher who used knee-high brown stockings through the year. Not funny? Boy, you've got that right!

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fenno:

I'll sink deeply in myself and ponder about the irreverable trauma caused by my Swedish teacher who used knee-high brown stockings through the year. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, if your school teacher happened to be a 20-something female with nice attributes, the only trauma would be discomfort caused by a case of ever-tightening trousers.

However, if the teacher was male, all I can say is 'this is our choice of uniform in the MBT'!

So if you fear for your sanity, exit, and return to your smoked eels.

Mace

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Well, if your school teacher happened to be a 20-something female with nice attributes, the only trauma would be discomfort caused by a case of ever-tightening trousers.

However, if the teacher was male, all I can say is 'this is our choice of uniform in the MBT'!

So if you fear for your sanity, exit, and return to your smoked eels.

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I also suffer from the trousers you mentioned. Somehow, mine tighten after the first washing but I am suspecting it's because of my formidable paunch.

[Panzer Leader]

A Song

I was strolling through the outerboards one very hot summer's day

When I thought I'd lay myself down to rest

in a big pool of thick cess

I lay there in the cess and felt it sloshing at my face

And I fell asleep and dreamed

I dreamed I was in a COmbat Mission movie

And that I was the hero of the movie

This really blew my mind, the fact that me,

an overfed, long-toothed silly GIT

should be the star of a Combat Mission movie

But there I was, I was taken to a place, the hall of the senior kaniggets

I stood high upon a rocky outcropping, rough-shod to the world

In front of every kind of GIT, there was

fat ones, round ones, big ones, crazy ones...

Out of the middle came an French One

he whispered in my ear something crazy

he said:

Cutey-pie be my squire, handsome guy be my squire

I may be French but be my squire, Come to Paris be my squire (for a weekend at least)

I thought to myself what could that mean

Am I going crazy or is this just a dream(-nightmare)

Now, wait a minute

I know I'm lying in a field of cess somewhere

so it's all in my head

and then.. An old one stepped forward and said:

He's just a swine so be my squire, You're only swine but be my squire

Still a swine but be my squire, Still a swine but be my squire

I could feel hot flames of Berlichtingen roaring at my back

As Seanachai disappeared, but soon another one came

In his hand was a rusty trusty blade, in the other, a glass (of bourbon)

he poured some of the bourbon from the glass into his mouth

And raised the sword to my shoulder

And just before he swallowed, Lorak said:

Still a swine but take the laurels, Still a swine but now you're knighted

Still a swine now where's my bourbon?, Still a swine and SOD OFF GIT!

...And so a humble old squire became a kanigget at last...

[Had to squash a smilichtingen]

[ 09-21-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[ 09-21-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[Lawyer]

I think Mark IV is still smarting over the fact that Caldron (was it him?) has read 80 percent of all the WWII books ever written, while poor IV has only read 79 percent of them. Maybe when the Markster finishes that next Sgt. Rock comic, he will pass the magic percentage marker.

Personally, I have no problem with this infusion of Finnish sensibility since I have read 100 percent of all books ever written about WWII. Read 'em and weap, Boyz.

Hey, how about some Estonian bashing?? Those weaklings couldn't even stop Stalin, much less Hitler.

[Edited to say "Good Work, PL. You have finally become useful"]

[ 09-21-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

...poor IV has only read 79 percent of them. Maybe when the Markster finishes that next Sgt. Rock comic, he will pass the magic percentage marker... Read 'em and weap, Boyz.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I read the IV% that matter, and we did so have haunted Stuarts that skeet shot Messerschmidts while blowing up Panthers. I have the documentation.

YOU are just jealous because we now have a REAL liar and libeller in our midst, thus cheapening the market for our domestic doctors of jurisprudence. Until Mr. Fenno, if that is his real psuedonym, tires of his latest crusade, we can get bad information and poor advice for FREE. But fear not, he will soon be finnished.

[Marlow]

I've tried to put this Fenno wanker on my "ignore list," but it didn't work. BTS, FIX OR DO SOMEFINK!

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I read the IV% that matter, and we did so have haunted Stuarts that skeet shot Messerschmidts while blowing up Panthers. I have the documentation.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> [sneer] Oh REALLY Mk IV [/sneer]? Golly, I don't think ANY of US have that documentation. YOU IDIOT! Everyone knows about "The Haunted Tank". Maybe if you would spend a LITTLE more time you might discover some of the more overlooked sources such as Marvel's Sgt. Fury and the Howling Commandos (which, btw, actually used the line "This baby was built on a Panzerkampfwagen IV chassis... if you want a body by Fisher buy a Cadillac.") which was FAR more informed and informative than that DC swill YOU promote. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>YOU are just jealous because we now have a REAL liar and libeller in our midst, thus cheapening the market for our domestic doctors of

jurisprudence. Until Mr. Fenno, if that is his real psuedonym, tires of his latest crusade, we can get bad information and poor advice for FREE. But fear not, he will soon be finnished.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I noted that young Rommell 22 Long Rifle posted a 3D model of a Mk IV (the short barreled version that OUR Mk IV most closely resembles) in which he stated that it wasn't "Finnished" ... I MANFULLY resisted the temptation, but OH ... the possibilities. Mind you it was a very nice model, I give him that.

I suspect, on a different note, that Seanachai hadn't brought his "A" game when he posted ... otherwise no one would have dared refer to him as JUST "pretentious".

Joe

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I noted that young Rommell 22 Long Rifle ..."Finnished" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmm, overestimating the youth's loading, as it were? Perhaps wishfully? I think all would agree that the aforementioned SSN didn't display enough velocity in his wit here as to warrant a 22 Short, or even a gallery load.

Agua Perdido

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hmmm, overestimating the youth's loading, as it were? Perhaps wishfully? I think all would agree that the aforementioned SSN didn't display enough velocity in his wit here as to warrant a 22 Short, or even a

gallery load.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ummm, good point Agua, I was referring, of course, primarily to the CALIBER and not the loading but your point is well taken. It's been a while since I'd fired a .22 and I forgot the options available.

Grog.

Joe

[mensch]

Wankers

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I noted that young Rommell 22 Long Rifle posted a 3D model of a Mk IV (the short barreled version that OUR Mk IV most closely resembles) in which he stated that it wasn't "Finnished" ... I MANFULLY resisted the temptation, but OH ... the possibilities. Mind you it was a very nice model, I give him that.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, I admired that as well, although for reasons that should be obvious refrained from congratulating Mr. 22CB Cap (which you can shoot in your living room, though I'd suggest dragging him outside first).

At a bore length of 1800mm (that would be about 5.9 ft.), that 75 L/24 is a fairly apt comparison that I, er, wear manfully. Would that you were similarly "stubbed".