TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stucco:

Second:

Originally posted by Seanachai:

"mammals gnaw at their extremeties."

Ah hah! A thingey reference from the self confessed anti-thingite.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You can just park yourself right over there next to Bauhaus!!! Unless you have had your arms and legs (and apparently your head) (or at least all your fingers and toes), amputated since birth, you would ought to know that there are extremeties other than thingies, though you might be obsessed with the latter...

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Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

[This message has been edited by chrisl (edited 12-02-2000).]

[Mark IV]

Originally posted by Formerly Babra:

From the King of Kings of the East and West, the Great Babra-Khan. To Mark IV the Gerbil,

Sadly, Mongols vs. Gerbils is a fairly accurate characterization of this little fracas, making your massive losses all the more inexcusable...

At present you are the only enemy against whom we have not exacted our full revenge...

It's gonna cost ya. Don't think there'll be too many Greyhounds in that victory parade.

[Formerly Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Sadly, Mongols vs. Gerbils is a fairly accurate characterization of this little fracas, making your massive losses all the more inexcusable...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The Great Babra-Khan is angered.

Lo, and the heavens opened and the rain of steel descended. Yea, and there was confusion in the ranks of the Gerbilstruppen, and they were scattered like chaff before the mighty wind. "Save us!" they wept, and fled the barrage laid down by three 81mm FOs. "God mitt uns!" they wailed, as they fled straight into the kill zone of the 155mm and 105mm VT. And in sixty seconds there was nothing left of the German defence but flaming trees and abandoned machine guns...

So it is written, so it was done.

[Chupacabra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Formerly Babra:

"God mitt uns!" they wailed <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Poor lads, their hands were just cold. They were clearly supplicating: "Got mittens?"

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Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>To all those of you not even implicitly mentioned here: that was because you are boring. Go away and volunteer at Mother Teresa's. Except Joe.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now see, I'm confused again. Does that mean that I'm not boring (I'm not of course, but I'm inquiring as to your opinion ... not that it matters) or that I shouldn't volunteer (I won't of course, if I want to see grubby, ill fed and poorly clothed urchins I'll just lift my eyes from my monitor and toss a crust of bread to my kids.)

Joe

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Formerly Babra:

And in sixty seconds there was nothing left of the German defence but flaming trees and abandoned machine guns...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

... and a great honking and highly pissed-off StuG.

To Babra, King of Pedestrians:

The only thing you still have rolling are the heads of your envoys, which I send back down the hill to you.

You forgot to mention the squadron of B17s you sent, and the fact that you somehow sailed the Iowa up the Rhein. No matter. For your pains you have 100m of useless forest, carpeted with dead French, and like a VL-and-a-half out of 5 or 6, the rest of which are about a kilometer away.

Surrender NOW.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

I am all about the random QB. Just let me pick my own forces. I've played more than enough games with all tanks vs infantry in the woods. I am eager to take off my shoe and beat you down with it.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Croda-

File sent. If you like it PLEASE put your paper slipper back on and stop shuffling around the halls aimlessly - the cups of pills will be distributed as per normal. And this time please SWALLOW the pills, do NOT push them into your anus again. I know that for many of the sad Brittany Spears fans here in this Pool any small object is an excuse for more rectal self-awareness, but that kind of thing hasn't been cool since the last time the Big Kid stole your Fonzie lunchbox from you on the schoolbus.

-dale

p.s. I thought I was going to be insulted when I got here. It's been like rolling in fresh-cut daises.

p.p.s. Oh, and Mr. Peng, this is for you:

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

p.s. I thought I was going to be insulted when I got here. It's been like rolling in fresh-cut daises.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, we just couldn't be bothered lowering ourselves to your miniscule level!

Mace

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chip-n-dale:

-dale

p.s. I thought I was going to be insulted when I got here. It's been like rolling in fresh-cut daises.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Quite frankly because your "I taunt you all" crap really wasn't worthy of anything more than you got. I am very surprised that Croda decided to give you the time of day, much less a game. He must be going senile in his old age. I would have let you stew until you came up with something original and biting. As it is, the only one you have even attempted to insult personally has been Croda, and those offerings have been about as sharp and witty as a piece of soggy toast. So I invite you to Sod off in a most vigorous fashion, and If your going to stick around, don't bother to address me, because this post uses up just about all the effort I will spare on the likes of you.

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We are fierce historical inaccuracers

- PawBroon

[edited to kill a smiley]

[This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 12-02-2000).]

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

So I invite you to Sod off in a most vigorous fashion, and If your going to stick around, don't bother to address me, because this post uses up just about all the effort I will spare on the likes of you.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Marlow-

My first thought was that the only way you need to be addressed by me is by having "RETURN TO MOMMA" branded on your sloping forehead as I endeavored to have you shoved back into the pustulent hole from which you were whelped, but then I figured a simpler insult would be more to your understanding, like "You and what Army" or "Nyah nyah n-nyah nyah."

Then I realized that, since you used the term "sod off", it's better than even odds that you are an Englishman, and therefore more deserving of my pity than scorn.

Of course, you'll get neither, because, well, you also could be an Australian, I guess, and I can't decide which is worse: actually being an Australian or merely being mistaken for one.

Either way it doesn't look good for you.

-dale

[Geier]

You are all a bunch of useless bastards and nothing would please me more than to rip out your entrails and knit ugly sweaters of your sinews and then make you wear them. Inside out.

All pleasantry aside, I have some issues with my current batch of victims.

Goebbelsboy claims he has a life and won't return turns which is fine, at least he told me about it.

The Shagger of Sheep has decided that we don't play nice here (bääääh) and apparently I'm not playing nice either cause he stopped sending turns.

The French is scared of the dark and doesn't send turns cause he is busy watching bad monster movies and "improving on their scripts".

Ethan thinks he's winning and has managed a steady trickle of files. He is busy in Florida during the weekends however and very vague when pressed on the whereabouts of Hoffas body.

Moriarty has yet to tell Berli what troops he wants to be killed by me.

MarkIV huffs and puffs and claims he looks slimmer now (read readme for 1.1 if you didn't get that one) but has still avoided to send me a setup. Remember baby, I'm your huckleberry slime eel.

This all adds up to me having no one to kill.

Can't have that can we?

Sod off (and send me some files)

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Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[Formerly Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally bluffed by Mark IV:

Surrender NOW<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

From Hell's heart I stab at thee...

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

p.p.s. Oh, and Mr. Peng, this is for you:

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Very clever. No one has ever posted a smiley

in a lame attempt to raise my ire before. You must be one of those extra clever dalems I have heard tell about. "They" say that the new genetically modified dalems are mostly harmless and will not affect the more cautiously developed naturally artificially selected dalem crops or the bees that pollinate them. Yup. "They" say the new clever dalems are more resistant to disease, yeild more and more clever taunts, and wont harm existing symbiotic relationships with fungi and fauna.

It must be true, because "they" say it is, and you have just proven that you are much more clever than the average garden variety dalem with that smiley toss.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

"Here! Catch Peng! Its a smiley! Ha ha ha gotcha with that one ol' Pengy, old fellah. Ho, ho that's one for me."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah, ya really got me with that one dalem, old sod. I'm just havin a regular old freakout over here:

"Gah! Seanachai! Didja see that? dalem did the ol' smiley chuck at me! I'm wiggin over here. What the hell do I do now?"

And then Seanachai takes 2 and a 1/4 hours explaining in blank verse that this is an old dalem trick and it goes way back to the ancient dalem days when men were men and dalems were not genetically modified to be more clever than the average coelenterate {or picnic basket (or park ranger)for that matter} and that if he recalls correctly there is a song or two about the pre-gm dalem days and the women that harvested them {big buxom meeks-loving women with flaxen hair and significant body odor (or was it the dalems that have/had the body odor?)}.

Well that is neither here nor there, because as you can see I have absolutely no intention of rising to your little smiley bait mrloweercasegeneticallymodifieddalem.

Please take note of my sig, in honor of a group of rodents whose tails you are not worthy to polish with your tongue.

Peng

edited to fail to mention PawBroon again

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"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

[This message has been edited by MrPeng (edited 12-02-2000).]

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Formerly Babra:

From Hell's heart I stab at thee...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Foul-handed Barbarella, for that little plagiaristic act, you shall have to pay.

I shall devise a painful and punishing PBEM and send it your way. Poaching sigs. Indeed...

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

...days when men were men and dalems were not genetically modified ... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

dalems? I'm sick to bloody death of dalems. Boiled dalems. Fried dalems. Dalems in dalem sauce ...

Or were those lupins. Nah, must be dalems.

Simper off somewhere else dalem.

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"I came to Casablanca for the waters."

[dalem]

Peng: Sorry old girl, I thought you were just a bad joke thought up by Rob/1 and his Spelling Bees. Now that I can see that you're real (though misinformed about the true power of my pit-stench) I will leave you alone with your rodent-fetish. Remember that you get fewer scratches if you put them in a silk stocking before inserting them into your brain-hole.

Moriarty: I think it's really neat that you have the same online handle as the upset hippie in Kelly's Heroes. Yeah, I think that's really.... neat, I suppose. Hope that works out for you.

[This message has been edited by dalem (edited 12-03-2000).]

[Berlichtingen]

Peng, old sod, be so kind as to take dalem out with the rest of the garbage.

[Formerly Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Foul-handed Barbarella, for that little plagiaristic act, you shall have to pay.

I shall devise a painful and punishing PBEM and send it your way. Poaching sigs. Indeed...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So it is written, so let it be done. Could ya wait about a week though? Bit overtaxed here at the moment. There's a good lad.

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I remember it perfectly: The Germans wore grey; you wore blue...

[Guest YK2]

Lorak,sorry to hear about your sad loss, my thoughts are with you, but on a more positive note its great to see you posting again and come to think of it, this new bloody Aussie infected poor excuse for a cesspool is looking more and more like home,yep..... Berli, MarkIV, OGSF,*Grate tae see ya Laddie* Germanboy, and Good God PENG!!!!!! SEANACHEEKYCOOCHIECOO!!!!!!! Bravo on your latest post Sean, I loved the Salmon Rushdie reference,pure genius,it's always a pleasure to read your posts, and my lovely French PawBroon, what's this I see? writing such long posts in my absence will only make the heart grow fonder yep, sure is looking more and more like *Home Sweet Home* and as usual PawVrooooooooom your advice and Logic were correct " give it some time, things will soon be back to normal" So, maybe these Aussies won't be such a bad bet after all, lets face it, If its good enough for you lot, its ALMOST good enough for me And SEANACHEEKYCOOCHIECOO where the hell is my Turn??????? are you bottling out or what? Get your sorry ass into gear pronto and send it by return or else, or else, or else.........

Well I'm sure I'll think of something.

Bloody Keeping me waiting, call that tactics!!!

P.S. Less I Forget....... What the hell does that little sweetie Croda have to do to become a Knight? In my view he is fast becoming the best taunter around..... Just an observation of course.

P.P.S. For your entertainment........

PawBroon a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend YK2 out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. YK2 leans over to PawBroon and says, "PAW kiss me!"

Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on YK2'S lips."What are you doing, PawBroon says the startled YK2"

"I am PawBroon the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!"

She smiles and they start kissing.

When things began to heat up a little, YK2 says, "PawBroon kiss me lower."

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts

pouring it all over her breasts.

"PawBroon! What are you doing?" asks the bewildered YK2.

"I am PawBroon the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!"

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up.

YK2 leans close to his ear and whispers, "PawBroon kiss me lower!"

Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and sets it alight.YK2 shrieks and dives into the river.

Standing waist deep in the river, YK2 throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PAWBROON WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am PawBroon the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!"

[This message has been edited by YK2 (edited 12-03-2000).]

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Croda-

File sent. If you like it PLEASE put your paper slipper back on and stop shuffling around the halls aimlessly - the cups of pills will be distributed as per normal. And this time please SWALLOW the pills, do NOT push them into your anus again. I know that for many of the sad Brittany Spears fans here in this Pool any small object is an excuse for more rectal self-awareness, but that kind of thing hasn't been cool since the last time the Big Kid stole your Fonzie lunchbox from you on the schoolbus.

-dale

p.s. I thought I was going to be insulted when I got here. It's been like rolling in fresh-cut daises.

p.p.s. Oh, and Mr. Peng, this is for you:

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Being as I'm sure that you are quite familiar with daisies (and pansies for that matter) I'll take your word for the lack of viciousness that you've received. Please allow me to make up for it:

Go to the front door of your house. Call for your dog. OK, Call him again. Now bring the kids around and ask them if they've seen the dog. I'll wait.....No? they haven't? Ask the little girl to go out back to the shed and look in there. You should probably go with her....

Notice that the shed has had the lock cut? Open it...smell something? There's a package in the back corner for you...all wrapper up nice for Christmas. Open it, you don't have to wait. A ziploc full of something red and mushy? What could it be? Could it be - YOUR DOGS EARS!!!!! Muhahahahahahaha!!!!! I have your dog! I will continue to sacrifice parts of his anatomy until our PBEM ends! You must beat me to keep your dog alive! If you win, I will return the dog to you. If I win, I will return the dog to you...he just may not be quite as much fun to play with anymore.

Daisies my ass!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: You rock, Croda<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Even taunting has historical standards. Sadly, this example of the Khan's armies' finest taunting was, Croda-like, the prelude to a catastrophic defeat. Unlike Croda, it was their first.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Your death warrant is in your mailbox. Croda-like, I shall tear out your femoral artery and hang you from the rafters by it.

And very Croda-like, I am way-way over my target # of games (over 20). Be nice and nobody else challenge the Croda until he can dispatch some of these other cadavers-to-be.

Hiram should be dead soon, and I expect to be eating dalem's dog by turn 6, so maybe after that.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: You rock, Croda<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[PawBroon]

Let it be known that I just completed my very first TCP/IP game.

Was an AutoBuy QB and I ended up with 100% grunts (cannucks).

I was kicked up to and including a whooping 96 to 4.

A chance the guy was not a Pooler.

Speaking of which.

Senility and I finished our game and it was the now mandatory DRAW.

So I guess if I'm to experience humiliation, I'd have to continue playing that friggin IP mess.

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I shall unleash Death, Pestilence and Failed Blue Tests on ye!!

Any other day or so with Emma

[jdmorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

P.S. Less I Forget....... What the hell does that little sweetie Croda have to do to become a Knight? In my view he is fast becoming the best taunter around..... Just an observation of course.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Uh, actually win the games he is playing!

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram

[This message has been edited by jdmorse (edited 12-03-2000).]

[Mark IV]

Croda is already cheating, by forcing me to play Allies.

No matter, his head will hide that ugly crack on my wall, caused by pounding the peg for Babra's a little too hard. For PeterNZer I should be able to use velcro, but I will place Germanboy's on the mantle, as it is not a load-bearing wall.

M. le Broon, you may continue to experience humiliation the slow way through the simple expedient of returning the turn which you have been incubating for several days now.

Do so quickly, before it hatches, and little Germans spill out and start nesting in your computer.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

I have your dog! I will continue to sacrifice parts of his anatomy until our PBEM ends! You must beat me to keep your dog alive! If you win, I will return the dog to you. If I win, I will return the dog to you...he just may not be quite as much fun to play with anymore.

Daisies my ass!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm, Croda-like, you have turned on the weak and defenseless for solace. Although considering what my dog just ate and what he does to the air quality after he eats that item, 'defenseless' may be the wrong word.

I guess if I'm still alive after turn 6 I'm free to challenge the other denizens?