Marlow

T-40

In foamy's defense, I believe that the 2" mortar could be fired as a direct fire weapon, and probably could have been fired out of a door or somefink(at least at close ranges). Don't think this is modeled in CM though.

OK, now try the same using regular U.S. infantry instead. UK paras are not the appropriate comparitor. If you were an infantry BN commander charged with taking a strongpoint, I highly doubt that calling in the Ox and Bucks would be a viable option.

Not so fast WildBoy, before your quick little edit thingy, I saw your PUI (Posting While Intoxicated): <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted (before the discovery of his monumental screw-up by Wildman: Kditty, I just bought a X45 and it is very nice. If you have XP it works. I also could never buy the Cougar. I would say buy it if your after a good stick and throttle combo. As for the throttle axis, I'm not sure. You may be able to program it as a banded region, but with so many other buttons to program it would be easy and more intuitive to use one of them. Wildman<hr></blockquote> Now, you are either trying to subvert the MBT with Groggly Flight Sim postings, or you want Kitty to beat you with a good stick and throttle you. Either way, we will not stand for it. Jo Xia, do your duty as Justacar, and dispatch this unworthy one on the field of battle.

Time for a something we haven't done in a while. A little singsong: Ahem Bravely bold Sir Jo Rode forth from the CessPool He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Jo He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Jo He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Jo...

Wildboy, as your former Kanigget and Master, I offer my services as your second in this affair with the Brave Sir Jo. I have several playtested, but unreleased little dust-ups on my computer.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem: Okay, that makes sense to me. I should have also added that I am an 'infantry-heavy' plyaer. I view AFVs as support, and rarely play CM with armor as the focus. <hr></blockquote> Hmmm. I must have scarred you for life with that 3000 point armorfest we had a couple of years ago.

Got to agree that the Bocage is a little off, especially in night battles where LOS for units behind the Bocage is severely limited. It doesn't do any good to set up those MG nests in the corners of the fields, if the unit only has reliable LOS for 20 meters. While this lack of LOS would be fine for units approaching the hedgerow, it doesn't seem right for defenders using the hedgerow for cover. The problems can be compensated for to some degree (but is by no means a complete solution) through the liberal use of woods and wooded lane tiles in addition to bocage tiles. This approach has the added benefit of restricting the movement of U.S. armor with the (unrealistically) omnipresent hedgerow cutters, particularly in July 44 battles. If anyone is interested in what such a map would look like, I’ve got a couple of battles that use a map that is loosely based on some D-Day aerial recon photo of the Normandy area.

While like the rest of you, I deplore Lawyer and Jo Xia’s whoring around on other BBSs, I note with some small measure of pride that they have managed to grow the “Air-Cess” thread into the largest on SimHQ's IL-2 forum. It should be fun to watch the assorted AirGrogs and Joystick fondlers bitch: "The Air-Cess Idiots are slowing down the Server! Fix or do Somfink SimHQ!!" I predict meltdown in about a week or so.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda: I'm glad you agree. And now that I've taught you these things, we should see how well you put them to use. I'm eager to hear your proposal. <hr></blockquote> My proposal is to have you chained to a chair and forced to endure a 24 hour a day argument between Brian and SlapDragon on the relative merits/undermodeling/overmodeling of U.S. and Commonwealth toilet paper, but barring that I’ll find somefink from Der Kessel to toss your way. [ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Marlow ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda: As for Marlow - I don't believe I have anything left to prove in our old game. If however you'd like to start a new one, you may be able to taunt me into it <hr></blockquote> You are absolutely correct about our old game. How could I have forgotten? You taught me many things in that game, and proved that you understand the principles of warfare so well: Concentration of Force – As exemplified by your concentration of a company or better of infantry right underneath a 300mm ricket attack. Mobility and Speed of the Advance – Well demonstrated in your bold dash across the bridge on your left side with that couple of platoons of armor. Too bad you must have been sleeping during the class on flank security. Pak 40s make nice holes in the side of Super Pershing turrets, don’t they? Surprise – You did well on this one. I was certainly surprised that the U.S. Army gave you command of anything larger than a company mailroom. The British I could understand, but the Americans? Preservation of Combat Effectiveness – Well… you didn’t do so good on this one did you?

Hello all and sundry Poolers. Nice to see that I have been missed. Just a few short points (other than the ones under El Pee’s and SlackDraggin’s heads): {W} Any of my opponents (and you know who you are) that would like to resume our current PBEMs, please let me know. (a) Nice thread title. TO BAD IT WAS DONE BEFORE! See Crouching Tiger, Hidden Peng Challenge You unimaginative poo poo stains couldn’t come up with anything original? -N- I am glad to see that Comrade Jo Xia has moved over to a game where he can indulge in his Red Commie Pinko fantasies of zooming through the air in defense of the motherland. :k: Who left the door open for all of these freakin SSNs. I blame Seanachai {E} Did I not see Crodachoo and Eagle Boy spore in Pool of late? Nice to see some of the long timers returning (as opposed to the above mentioned SSNs). -r- There is no point r. (S) Feet and knees together Lorak the Lame, feet and knees together.

Ladies and GentleGrogs: I will be either busy or sans internet access for about a week and a half. No turns till then unless you are very lucky and I get around to sending one in the next two days. I won’t miss the useless lot of you. Welcome back Sir Lorak. Ordinarily I would follow your directive, and e-mail the results of battles that have been won, but I have two of particular note: First, I have smashed the Jefe “The Ego” Shandork’s SS Ubertruppen in a unlimited purchase, night QB. He brought a knife to a gun fight and purchased armored panzergrenadiers and Tigers for a close range scrap against my Veteran Paras with predictable results. Marlow Glorious Victory – Up the Ox and Bucks. Shandy Duncan Humiliating Defeat. Second, I have proved that the Legaltruppen are a hollow force, fit only to file briefs (or is that fill their briefs). Of course it could be their commander … In any event, I swept the field of his gamey, computer selected Super SMG troops and Devil Hetzers with an American Heavy Weapons company on the attack. Ordinarily, such a victory would be of little consequence, but I was forced to tell Herr Lawyer that he was “the greatest CM player ever,” and I still feel the pain of that statement (it was for free beer, what could I do?). Marlow Stunning Victory Lawyer Crushing Defeat

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: You see lads, it's another Pawbroon ... but at least in the case of Pawbroon he has an excuse ... he's French. I DO wonder what SlopDraggin' had in mind for that sentence ... must have meant SOMETHING don't you think. Any thoughts? Joe p.s. Oh ... you might want to check the timestamp on my second reply there SlopDraggin'.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think it is a result of his glue huffing habit. He actually thinks that a Knight of the Pool would lower himself to battle with a SSN! Quite frankly Jo, I am surprised that you even spoke to him. As you of all people should well know, the proper mode of address for such 'Pool dippers is a gob of spit on the top of his pointy head.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer: Well, in that case I am caught in a heartrending, tragic conflict of duties. My knight, the peerless Brave Sir Marlow has enjoined me to refer to you as Jo Xia and so must it be. Knight says, Squire does, this be a binding troth. You may have noticed, however, that I do bold it for your reading convenience. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's a good lad. I'll spare the boot today.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Just-a-car Xia: FIRST, CM Player, you'll note that I do YOU the honor of spelling and bolding your name (not that you deserve it but there are the forms to be observed). I note further that YOU do NOT do the same for me. May I suggest that you mend your ways lad. Jo<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Jo, I know this may be hard for you to understand given the history of discipline problems you have had with your squires, and the problems you are now experiencing in you (totally inadequate) execution of the role of Justicar, but CMplayer is only obeying the first order I gave him when I took him under my wing, and that was to use your “party” name in order to remind the ‘Pool of your continuing attempts to take over control of the MBT. Sure, you always appear to defer to the Old and Incontinent ones before you attempt to usurp more power, or rewrite ‘Pool history, but I know your ways Red Jo, you are only waiting until our guard is low, and then you start the revolution. But we are watching Jo.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander: St.Rat is still alive is he? Hmmmm, I may have to force him to defeat me again over the course of five months... slower than Dalem's comprehension, he is.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> While we are on the subject of your defeat, please send a turn. Your armor is already looking like the accumulation of wrecks that undoubtably are up on blocks in your front yard, and I want to add to the collection. [ 10-03-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jo Xia: I have scoured the records of the CessPool and I regret to inform you that there are no precedents to govern the decision. In terms of a strict accounting, neither should be granted Knighthood since the terms clearly stated that the WINNER would be made Knight ... without a winner <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not so fast, Mr. Just-a-car. Fine upholder of the traditions you have turned out to be. If you actually knew the history of the MBT, you would well know that Sir Lorak did elevate both Hiram and Sir Alphabet to Knighthood upon finishing the challenge. Winning may have been an original prerequisite, but the Keeper of the Tome himself has established the presidence that governs this case. BOTH should be listed amongst the Knights.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapnuts: I have delusions of grandeur and have read Shogun too many times. I am RoninMan<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Like hell you are. I, and every other Squire here had to grovel in the Cess to catch the fickle eye of some undeserving Knight, and had to do their bidding for many a long day, even as we planned carefully to place a shiv between their ribs. There is no place for those bucking tradition. You'll grovel and be kicked and spat upon and LIKE IT! Normally I don't even notice SSNs, so count yourself lucky. And just to show that their are no hard feelings, here is a nice gob of spit and a solid kick in the (unused) nads. [Kick] ... [HAAUUUCHHH ... TOOEY...] Damn, I wish I could give the boot as well as Jo And Mr. Red Just-a-car Jo Xia, a suggestion. Since the tradition of honorary titles has been well established for certian individuals (Lawyer and Simon Fox, may I suggest that Fionn be given the title of Champion of the Pool.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon: Marlow you senile implant, what the hell are you talkin about. I accept if you merely please talk English long enough to communicate meaning, then you can return to the addled gibberish you normally spew.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Understanding gibberish is a 'Pool prereq. When you can understand Mensch and OGSF, thenyou will be ready Grasshopper.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon: So who here is willing to defend the Pengdom honor with a game? Do you want me to believe Meeks was a good sample of your capabilities (he was a gamey bastard at that). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey ButtDragin, seems like you failed to answer that other SSNs (what was his name ... Dead or Red or somfink). If you want a battle in the MBT, this is about the best challenge you are going to get. Not is it only protocol, but we love to see Grogs squirm. So, will it be "The Black Forest" at 20 paces in a battle of the SSNs, or not? If yes, I'll fling you the file for you two Cess dippers to wade around in. If not, Sod Off. Machts Nicht to me. Oh, and should you choose to accept, we expect periodic updates on your progress. Not that we care how you are doing, but it may be good for a laugh. Dance for us Slappy.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: SHAW! Note it. Slapdragon should be made to play one hideous, 'I was a teenage Grogwolf' match as a SSN/Serf. Then, and you have the right of it, open the floor to Knights who would sponsor him for Squiredom. Then, let him play out his bid to belong to the Peng Challenge Thread as laid out by Lorak. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I would like to note that it was I who first proposed that ScrapWagon and BledDead play a SSN battle. I therefore reserve the right to inflict something of my creation on them. In deference to Jo Xia who was quite correct (for once) that nothing even vaguely historical should be wasted on SSN pool dippers, I have created "The Black Forrest." They shall rue the day they ever set foot in the 'Pool once they have started this on.

OK boys and Girls, I have a batch of three battles ready for testing. I have obviously tested them all, and the first two have been tested by a couple of other folks, but I’d like to fine tune them a bit before submitting them to the Scenario Depot. The first two are fictional, but represent battles that could have been (i.e. no “ahistorical” force selection or situations). They are: "A Day at the Office” - Fictional This one is a typical late war attack by the advancing Americans against a small German village. It is just under a 1500 point attack. Playtested a number of times as American against AI, and currently being tested in a PBEM. Against the AI, take the American with bonuses for the AI. "Opportunity Knocks" – Fictional This is an attempt by an American force to grab a bridge. This one has been tested against the AI as both American and German. It should be a good one for PBEM, and against AI it works best as U.S. for human vs. AI (with some bonuses). “Christmas Surprise” – Semi-historical This one is small and only 12 turns. It is based on a German advance on the Champs-Hemroulle road on Christmas day during the battle for Bastogne. American Paratroopers against Panzers. As I said above, this one has had only limited testing (me). If you want them, let me know. The only thing I ask in return is that you give me a short report on how it went. This need not be a tome, just a brief description of what type of opponent (human or AI), what you liked, what you didn’t, and how it could be made better.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jo Xia: If it's longer than 10 turns or so we'll likely lose interest ... in fact considering the two contestants we'll probably lose it much sooner than that. Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My thoughts exactly. It is a 15 turn, semi-historical battle that is not too big (1200 point German attack). I thought we force Slappy to play the Uber-Germans.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RedandDead: So how about it? Slapdragon perhaps? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> So how about it? Slapdragon perhaps? Yes! That is exactly what the doctor ordered for Sackdragin and DeadRed. A battle of the SSNs. And no Squiredom for Slappy unless he posts full AARs of the battle. It just so happens that I have just the thing for the two wet behind the ears pool dippers. Oh, MrSpky, I know this may be hard for you to comprehend since you are from Texas and all (maybe Oklahoma, but what’s the difference really), but when you tell me that you will send a turn tomorrow, and never shows up, I don't owe you a turnYOU OWE ME A TURN (sorry for yelling).