Andreas Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: ****ATTENTION, ATTENTION**** Wanted, One scenario! Must be suitable to bash Joe Shaw about the ears with, and must not include any copious quantities of that white, cold stuff! Please submit any submissions either to Joe Shaw or myself. Each submission will be reviewed for suitability, weight and sexual preference. Must also be available immediately (unlike that scenario Mensch is building for Sir WXYZ and myself...it's been what, 3 weeks, and still nary a sight of it...sheesh...I swear, I'm convinced that Mensch is really a government employee!...and if he's not, HE SHOULD BE, he's so good at it!!! *rants*) Thankewe, Mace PS. I've noticed a few Cesspoolers I have yet to have the misfortune to actually play a PBEM against....LUCKY ME!!!!!<hr></blockquote> Email me - you or Joe, I sort you out. Got some unpublished stuff lying around. All sizes and types catered for. The Anglophile Nick Chameleon™, aka Your friendly CM Crack Dealer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 Peng, It would seem you have been Patched Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: Who am I? Very good question. 10 points for Hufflepuff. I'm someone who's been around in this thread a lot longer than you, although I'm fortunate enough not to be an Olde One. I'm also someone who only posts when he has something worth saying, unlike you, you prognathous, microphallic sniffer of public urinals. I'm someone who's contributed more to the general welfare with one (1) of my posts than you could by donating your body to science. I'm someone who doesn't have to play the grogabee, unlike you, who couldn't produce a paragraph of Grog Porn™ with a Panzerfaust 100 inserted rectally -- not that you haven't tried, I'm sure. In short, I am I, which makes me so much better than you that one must measure the difference in astronomical units. {edited for all the right reasons} [ 11-29-2001: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]<hr></blockquote> I would just like to take this opportunity to point out that this is a gem of a post. It is full of unbridled arrogance, it is a glorious putdown for someone who clearly is deserving and needy of it. It speaks of a self-assuredness so vast and noble, that if it were an altar, I would not be worth worshipping at, maybe not even worth being on the same planet as it. Ethan clearly has the sun shining out of his arse, and it shows us The Light™. There is in this not just an ember, but a roaring fire of what the Peng Thread once was. I wept. All this despite it being edited. There is a message in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 Darling Elvis, My game with Joe is indeed numbered and is only missing a turn because Joe is an eediot who likes to sent golfing photos of himself in place of turn files. Other than that we are keeping track of our progress just swimmingly thanks. As for our schimozzle, if you could stand here, no, here, ...next to the sofa, and say 'did you get turn #35'?, I could say yay or nay, the last turn I received was #34, and we would know exactly the missing file number, not some faceless, unidentifiable file. I have changed provider recently, are you addressing the turns correctly? A pelvic thrust in your general direction. You tosser. Stuka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 Dearest Stuka, I have resent the turn to the following email address: glennlibby@ozemail.com.au Thank you for your attention to this matter. Let us all be thankful that you are not as bad as eng and MrSpkr.....and Lawyer for that matter. Regards, Elvis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 Right, if any of you slugs can be bothered to go here - BBC Radio4, and look for the 'Food Programme' (it is under 'F', for the hard of thinking), and click the little speaker button, you will (hopefully) be able to listen last Sunday's programme. If you speed ahead for about 15-20 minutes (yeah I know, you may end up having to listen to five minutes of irrelevant yet interesting talk radio, something the debilitated lot of you, with the attention span of a dim-witted fruitfly, certainly will find exceedingly hard to do), you will be able to listen to a nice little excerpt about Mr.Peng, and how he treats his customers in his non-menued Chinese restaurant in London. I hope you hate it, and it makes you really miserable. Oh yes, and you have to get a technician in to install Real Player, since I doubt any of you is capable of doing so. It is worth it so, and if you are lucky, you can get a leg-over with the technician, you sick sados. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis: Dearest Stuka, I have resent the turn <hr></blockquote> My beloved Elvis, I am at work now but have checked my home e-mail to find a lovely fresh turn sitting there. Thank you Elvis, you are the greatest. I love you and want to have your babies. You tosser. XXXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas: Ethan clearly has the sun shining out of his arse, and it shows us The Light™. There is in this not just an ember, but a roaring fire of what the Peng Thread once was. I wept. All this despite it being edited. There is a message in there.<hr></blockquote> Germanboy, methinks you are all too familiar with arses in general, and Ethan's in specificity. Perhaps such intimate knowledge results from having that big melon you call a head so far up your own (arse, that is), that you've developed a need to follow your true calling of proctologist. Well, listen you to me, you poor excuse for a barium enema, you’re naught but a polyp on the colon of the MBT, and I spit three times into that sphincter-like orifice you call a "mouth". While I'm sure your oral hygienist bathes in alcohol and peroxide following each of your appointments, it really is your "internist" that makes you go 'Ugh'. Sure, sure, sure, you will post yet again your derision for those not so acquainted with excretion as yourself, but what the hey? Everyone needs a hobby! So, in summation, you are a pretentious pile of self-flagellation, and (in methods near and dear to your heart), I fart in your general direction. You buttpuppet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 Well, that certainly was...umm......harsh. Andreas is not going to like you anymore for that Leeo. Youv'e brought any retribution down upon your own head now, don't say I didn't warn you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: [QB]Well, that certainly was...umm......harsh. [QB]<hr></blockquote> Sorry. Yes, that's it, I'm terribly sorry. I thought we were supposed to show a little venom, you Nong. I've played scenarios of his that I've enjoyed very much. He's made many contributions to CM. That still doesn't mitigate the fact he has a great, big, <big>Fricken' Melon-head</big>! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Email me - you or Joe, I sort you out. Got some unpublished stuff lying around. All sizes and types catered for.<hr></blockquote> Well if we must we must I suppose ... but I don't have to like it. Go ahead Mace, I don't want to see anymore of the ugly thing until I actually have to play it. No doubt we'll each have to wade through 15 pages of "Historical Background" only to find that NONE of it has the least relevance on the scenario itself. Doubtless there will be some vital "clue" hidden within the depths of the briefing that will have to be followed EXACTLY in order to stave off defeat. Without doubt the OOB will be historically accurate and virtually worthless for the task required. I've little doubt that ONE of us will prevail ... probably the side Andreas played when he "playtested" the scenario that one time against the AI. Doubtless ... Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Well if we must we must I suppose ... but I don't have to like it. Go ahead Mace, I don't want to see anymore of the ugly thing until I actually have to play it.<hr></blockquote> Now now, Joe. You know Germanboy/Andreas means well! Well he would if he wasn't so... so... Germanic! I will email the youngster on my return to the comfortable surrounds of my home this evening. Now excuse me while I work out a way to wipe my mind clear of what has transpired here the past few hours, I find the thought of a Elvis/Stuka love child somewhat disturbing. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullethead Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 Where's Lawyer when you need him? I actually bothered to read all 3 pages of this abortion so far looking for him to chime in on the title choice. From Black's Law Dictionary: demise: to bequeath or transmit by succession or inheritance. So who is the departed former owner of Peng, and which poor bastard did he demise Peng to in his will? Please tell me it's Gerbiltoy who's dead. But I'm afraid it might be Lawyer--he seems to be MIA. But more importantly, I hope Bauhaus is Peng's new owner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Fox Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Originally posted by the 'orrible nick chameleon Andreas: I would just like to take this opportunity to point out that this is a gem of a post. It is full of unbridled arrogance, it is a glorious putdown for someone who clearly is deserving and needy of it. It speaks of a self-assuredness so vast and noble, that if it were an altar, I would not be worth worshipping at, maybe not even worth being on the same planet as it. Ethan clearly has the sun shining out of his arse, and it shows us The Light?. There is in this not just an ember, but a roaring fire of what the Peng Thread once was. I wept. All this despite it being edited. There is a message in there.<hr></blockquote> What's this then? Has the new nick prompted you to emulate your idol Jacko? Are we to expect an interminable procession of evangelical "I'm here to teach you" posts? Isn't it enough that the rest of the Forum is subjected to the Sloppy School of Historical Research, the Sloppy College for Delinquent Debaters and the Sloppy 10 Step Program on How to Win Friends and Influence BTS? Are we now to be subjected to the Biermann School of MBT Post Composition? I suppose we should be grateful that thus far you haven't been able to reach the same mind bogglingly amaranthine monotony. I sincerely hope that despite the recent trumpeting of your attainment of 'manhood' you won't be following in a similar vein and inflicting upon us the news of every minor inconsequential milestone in your paltry existence. Mind you I'll do you the courtesy of assuming you won't. Blathering on about and big-noting oneself is such a seppoesque activity and aren't they good at it? If we tried the same it would just seem a parody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: I find the thought of a Elvis/Stuka love child somewhat disturbing. <hr></blockquote> Hey! Thats my fiance your'e talking about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 The love child is your fiance? That’s just sick and wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 The idea that there could exist somewhere a genetic union between these two, however it was done, makes me slightly ill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: Now excuse me while I work out a way to wipe my mind clear of what has transpired here the past few hours, I find the thought of a Elvis/Stuka love child somewhat disturbing. Mace<hr></blockquote> Now THAT! is truly the most horrible imagining possible. A reject from the trash bin of phantasmagoria, a wretched souless beast. Should that happen, then the world will truly know that the Fates have decided to let loose their bowels upon the Earth. Damn you Mace! You had to go and say it! You're worse than one of Seanachai's little sing-songs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 You guys are simply jealous that Elvis and I have found happiness. Sod off, all you green eyed monsters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 The Peng Sloth looks just like me old Da! Thanks, Patch. You will get yours someday...oh hell, You are married to Berli, that's gotta be painful enough. The Former-Slut Pengingly Known as Gates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 Well battle has commenced. As soon as the game starts, bwilliant coporal-ship by my turn returner has him lose a tank. Too easy. Other than that. Zilch. Nothing. Not even the bleatings of other posters about Aussies in this 'pool do any good at all. Lost your velcro too lads have we ? So unless the morons want to back up their bleatings with a game... they can ( to borrow a phrase) 'buggeroff'. Noba. It's been edited..so what ? [ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: Noba ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bruce: What's this then? Has the new nick prompted you to emulate your idol Jacko? Are we to expect an interminable procession of evangelical "I'm here to teach you" posts? Isn't it enough that the rest of the Forum is subjected to the Sloppy School of Historical Research, the Sloppy College for Delinquent Debaters and the Sloppy 10 Step Program on How to Win Friends and Influence BTS? Are we now to be subjected to the Biermann School of MBT Post Composition? I suppose we should be grateful that thus far you haven't been able to reach the same mind bogglingly amaranthine monotony. I sincerely hope that despite the recent trumpeting of your attainment of 'manhood' you won't be following in a similar vein and inflicting upon us the news of every minor inconsequential milestone in your paltry existence. Mind you I'll do you the courtesy of assuming you won't. Blathering on about and big-noting oneself is such a seppoesque activity and aren't they good at it? If we tried the same it would just seem a parody.<hr></blockquote> Bruce, you should do something about that phlegming. Don't you have medicine to deal with it in the outback, or is that all given to the sheep, as the dominant and most worthy life-form down in your neck of the bush. Always remember Rule No.7, Bruce, and live by it. Now shoo, I believe the sheep dip needs some attention. Honestly, you sound like you are having a bad couple of days, with that repeated cough of yours that seems to appear whenever I deign this place worthy of a visit. Or did you just have too much of Sheila's homebrew again, and woke up with your face firmly lodged in the crotch of a geriatric Koala? Which would somehow explain the smell around here. Inquiring minds want to know. Mace, you've got mail. Joe - hasn't anyone ever told you about Rule No.1 'Don't abuse the person building the scenario before the scenario has been built.'? No, obviously not. Well, you will understand its wisdom soon enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted November 30, 2001 Author Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas: Right, if any of you slugs can be bothered to go here - BBC Radio4, and look for the 'Food Programme' (snip amateur taunts), you will be able to listen to a nice little excerpt about Mr.Peng, and how he treats his customers in his non-menued Chinese restaurant in London. <hr></blockquote> Mr. Peng, Yu Hsiang seems like a most excellent man and obviously unrelated to Peng, his Pennsyltuckian Namesake. Peng, Y.H. invites guests into his premises and fills their bellies with delicious victuals. On the other hand, Peng, P.N. barges into the premises of his hosts and empties his belly* of its viscous detritus. Your reward for finding this nugget of culinary information is the privilege of standing me lunch at Peng, Y.H.'s establishment. Pictures will be taken and, since you're a civil servant, much drink will be consumed. Alternatively, you could make it dinner, invite the entire disreputable London and Home Counties crew and pay for us all, since you're just milking the taxpayers' money anyway while the rest of us try to scrape by making an honest living selling endangered-animal products to Columbian drug lords. *I use belly in the singular, although it maybe bellies (that's the plural for the likes of Panzer Leader and Aussie Jeff), as the anatomy of the Peng, P.N. is still a mystery to zoologists, especially as they're still arguing with the mycologists over whose area it is in which the Peng, P.N. actually falls -- or more appropriately, staggers. {I didn't change a thing, I just pushed the edit button for the sheer joy of it} [ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 I'll buy you lunch in Bastogne, on the 17th. What? Can't make it? Shame. In the new year, I could buy me lunch at Mr.Peng's. That would still leave you hungry though. Well, with that portly stature of yours, you will be able to make do without that eating thing. So no problem there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: Who am I? Very good question. 10 points for Hufflepuff. <hr></blockquote> Oooohhhh look, a closet Harry Potter fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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