This Peng's not Challenged, He's Bleeding Demised!

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

No, no, its not the dykes - its the incompetence of the Allied commanders. <hr></blockquote>

Hey, don't denigrate the character of Allied commanders if they don't share your kinky sex tastes. Give 'em real wimmen, and they'll do much better. All the Allies I know have sufficient competence to deal with dykes.

This latest post from BlatherMouth, who started posting here long ago as MrSpkr is just too rich. Let it be know to all that he "plays" CM on some sort of GameBoy that can't handle movement, tactics, or strategy. So he cons me into a game, and then when I'm on the verge of crushing his puny Okies, he suddenly announces that he has lost the game file.

Oh yeah, and get THIS! He claims to have forgotten the password in case I still had the old file to send back. Clever, eh?? No losses if no files to send, comprende? Feckin' Git.

So play at your own risk with the Spkr whose mouth is a cheap substitute for real action.

Just when you're about to close in....

[Lars]

Damn.

I hate it when you're right.

{edited to ask what's a dictionary doing on your desk instead of a bottle, Joe?}

[ 12-03-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

Yep, once they cross the Manson-Dix...err, Queensland border, its all downhill from there.

<hr></blockquote>

Calrification: That's if you're moving South to North.

Now bring on those Stenographers!

Oh Yeh baby!!! OH YEEEHHH BABY!!!!

Mace

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Hey, don't denigrate the character of Allied commanders if they don't share your kinky sex tastes<hr></blockquote>

Sorry, you talking to me?

btw, have you sent those tickets, dear chum?

Mace

[Hanns]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Fer Gawdsake Hanndsie! Stop playin' wid wimmen an' send me feckin' turn so's I can finish yer orf!! Ye are slower than a slug on valium.......<hr></blockquote>

It appears that the glitch in the universal wave, nay the veritable blackhole of cosmic stupidity has ingested another TacoHell Valu-meal of verbosity and upon later reflection upon the heavenly throne birthed forth yet another string of GassyJeff posts. One would be almost tempted to think that these random, inane babblings were the result of some "insult-generator" but it is impossible for even the likes of Microsoft to degenerate anything to the level of a BlasèJeffe post. The act of elimination leaves us with the sad knowledge that SpazzyJeff is not some drivel spewing mindless automaton but a drivel spewing mindless corpus. That living cells could be prodded into such a useless mold and not auto-abort themselves leaves grave gaps in Darwin's theories.

The game with PommieJeff is nearing it's inevitable conclusion: his utter defeat. His last minute charge into the sights of my AT guns further exemplifies his tactical ineptitude. True he might exit some units off the battlefield but there are so many "Routed!" and "Broken!" crews that I simply don't have the ammo left to kill them all. Also his pitiful whining (more akin to someone begging for a merciful death) fell on deaf ears this weekend as I had more important (and female shaped) things to attend to. As I've stated before, when the day comes that AdolescentJeff reaches puberty, he will understand why his interruptions mean so little. Until then he'll have to pine longingly at those posters of the BackdoorBoyz and Ricky Martin with no understanding of why. The last minutes of your brief life have been returned you little ganglion pustule of ignorance.

Lastly, Sir Lars, would you be so kind as to re-send the setup for "ArtyFest '45" to me. I seem to have misplaced it and desire to drop a bit of hurt on CMplayswithhimself. Many thanks m'Lord.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Oh yeah, and get THIS! He claims to have forgotten the password in case I still had the old file to send back. Clever, eh?? No losses if no files to send, comprende? Feckin' Git.<hr></blockquote> The American baseball pitcher Lefty Grove was once asked why he took so long to throw his pitches, he responded: "If you don't throw it, they can't hit it."

I know what you mean Lawyer, he was dead in the water, stuck in his tracks and flying on a wing and a prayer in our game. I'd say more but I'm going to need his help in our trial of Flossie Jeff.

No doubt YOU'LL be representing the slimy little cretin ... birds of a feather and the like?

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>{edited to ask what's a dictionary doing on your desk instead of a bottle, Joe?}<hr></blockquote> Edited to respond ... ONE of the bottles is sitting on the dictionary ... another is usually in my hand.

Joe

[ 12-03-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Stuka]

*A hypothetical question to Sir Joe*

Why is my in-tray empty?

Come to think of it, Elvis, Seanachai, OGSF, I pose this question to you lumps of fetticini also.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

*A hypothetical question to Sir Joe*

Why is my in-tray empty?

Come to think of it, Elvis, Seanachai, OGSF, I pose this question to you lumps of fetticini also.<hr></blockquote>

Very strange, there, for a moment...

Ahem, Stuka, be so good as to check again. I sent your turn just a short while ago.

[ 12-03-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Stuka]

Ah yes, You alone SirSeanachai are a man of honour.

I look forward to our continued mutual dismemberment.

Joe, I am raising an eyebrow in your direction.

[ 12-03-2001: Message edited by: Stuka ]</p>

[bauhaus]

Joe that photo gives true meaning to the phrase, "Screwing the pooch." Speaking of screwing the pooch,who keeps letting that bloody Aussie Jeff guy in? What a friggin' pest.

[ 12-03-2001: Message edited by: bauhaus ]</p>

[Seanachai]

May I just take a moment to say that AussieJeff's rather heavy-handed and over-the-top attempts at a cuckoo-clock-winding, lederhosen-wearing 'Germanic' accent was easily one of the most dreadful things I've ever read on the entire Forum. I would rather spend the next year correcting the spelling, grammar, and typing of such 'can't be bothered with my native language' luminaries as Rommel22 and Fieldmarshall, rather than read something debased again.

I have it on good authority that Mr. AussieJeff only posts in the manner we have been forced to read because his alleged wife is gone on Holiday (doubtless to a facility for the treatment of stress and depression brought on by her home environment), and the poor, distraught woman clearly neglected to make sure that a family member or neighbour was available to make sure that AussieJeff kept to his medication table, and away from plastic bags inflated with household solvents.

At one time in the history of this Thread, it was my opinion that Mensch's wife was a put upon soul, subjected as she was to his manic flights of gibberish and constant attempts to knight the neighbour's dachshund. But, although her lot in life has not been easy, at least Mensch's behaviour has had the relieving moment of humour, the sparkling gem of lunatic insight, and even the odd moment of jolly rogering.

I fear that no such hope may be held out for the day to day existence of Mrs. AussieJeff. Whereas with Mensch one never knew if today he would be Napolean, Big Bird, or Moses, there is no doubt in my mind that every day AussieJeff's family and familiars wake up to find him to be exactly himself, grindingly wearing them down with the constant need to force enough antidepressant and psychoactive stabilizers into him to keep him merely annoying.

Sigh. I do not envy those poor people their lot. In less enlightened but perhaps wiser, times, he would have been staked out on a hillside and used to bait in something that might have proved edible after being pincushioned with flint spears. Our own society allows us no such recourse.

No, in this age that glorifies the rights of even the most pre-eminently subnormal individual over the good of the community, nasty little crawlers like AussieJeff may do as they wish, and indulge in a prose style that, if it were read aloud and with the gain turned up, could turn a goat inside out.

It makes me sad.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Sigh. I do not envy those poor people their lot. In less enlightened but perhaps wiser, times, he would have been staked out on a hillside and used to bait in something that might have proved edible after being pincushioned with flint spears.<hr></blockquote> Oh ... right then, good idea Seanachai, well done indeed. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Our own society allows us no such recourse.<hr></blockquote> Oh ... damn ... pity ... are you quite sure then?

Joe

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh ... damn ... pity ... are you quite sure then?

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Well...we could attempt to sue the bastard, retaining Lawyer, Morse, and MrSpkr for the litigation.

That's the modern equivalent.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Well...we could attempt to sue the bastard, retaining Lawyer, Morse, and MrSpkr for the litigation.

That's the modern equivalent.<hr></blockquote>Well, yes but ... dash it all ... staked out on a hillside, it's just so ... RIGHT!

Joe

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Well, yes but ... dash it all ... staked out on a hillside, it's just so ... RIGHT!

Joe<hr></blockquote>

But compared to being forced through the American Judicial System (bolded out of fear of reprisal), and gloated over by the likes of Lawyer, et. al., it's almost a noble fate.

Face it, would you rather be lashed tight to stony ground, with stinging insects crawling over you, your skin blistering in the baking sun, until, finally, some large, evil-smelling carnivore shuffled by to painfully scoop out your insides and eat them while you were still alive, or spend several hours in an air-conditioned and nicely appointed courtroom while Lawyer, Morse, and MrSpkr giggled with each other and perpetrated the Legal System on you?

[Seanachai]

Er...and Shaw, I think you might have overdone it with the posting of the 'Mormon Wives'. I think the lads have become desensitized to ugly, bony chattels.

Even I found myself only twinging here and there after your last photo. I only had to think of a beautiful, vivacious young woman I work with for a few minutes before my desire to live returned.

Ah, well, if nothing else, you've proved once again that whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

[Seanachai]

Here, I'm off to my well deserved repose, soon, but I've my duty to do first.

Now, on the average, you lot aren't of much more value than a similar weight of lemmings, but it's been my fate to endure your feculent gibberish for a year and a half now, and all because I pursued the noble course of taunting that miserable bastard, Peng!

I never regretted it, and I've never looked back.

For one thing, only an idiot would look back in a place like this, with weasels dropping on him from above, and wolverines dashing towards his groin at every bend in the Thread.

Now, Peng and I have begun another little combat. The Challenge renewed, as it were. Or rather, The Once and Future Challenge, or, it's a Mother Beautiful Challenge, and it's still there.

In any case, when I consider the sheer intensity of my hatred of Peng,and then weigh his vileness in my sight against all your little lives, well, I cannot help but be impressed.

Impressed, that is, that continuing my Challenge against Peng is still of more significance than the lion's share of the posts that this Thread has given birth to.

But I stray. For I come to Challenge Peng, not to bury the rest of you.

Peng! Once again we stand, banners unfurled, wits uplifted; giants, on a field ringed by squeaking children.

The Dark Prince watches as Persephone drops the kerchief on our combat.

Come, Peng. Come, and face the ÜberGnome!

I will show you where the Peng Challenges grow!

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Joe Shaw and Lawyer spewed:

Lies, more lies and <huge> DAMN LIES!</huge><hr></blockquote>

Joe Shaw - stick to yer Mormon wimminfolk -- its what you are (shudder) good at. You and I both know that neither one of us were winning, that in fact we were simply sitting in a scenic little French village calling down artillery fire on our on troops in some sort of Nietzchean hell inflicted upon us by the good folks at Der Kessel.

I offered a rematch, but NO, you were busy washing your hair or somefink.

Lawyer was busy demonstrating the Big Gubment style of attack: send squad after squad after squad after squad after squad after squad after squad after squad after squad to their deaths at the hands of a GREEN pillbox and REGULAR troops (one or two whole platoons) until your opponent dies of boredom. Note he fails to mention that I had destroyed an entire wing of his deployment (I refuse to call such an anemic performance an assault). He also fails to mention that he lost all those troops without taking a SINGLE victory flag.

And again, when pressured, General Jake runs to the rear (Down Bauhaus, I mean REALLY!) and refuses a rematch.

Sniggling cowards.

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]</p>

[Herr Oberst]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Ah, well, if nothing else, you've proved once again that whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.<hr></blockquote>

So you're not dead yet, you old coot! Well, if this last round of [shudder]Mormon Wives[/shudder] posts has indeed made you stronger, you may have just worked your way above my minimum bar for consideration, although the veracity of this supposition remains to be tested.

Yes, with your nouveau prowess, you may yet rank right in there with Croda from the days of yore.

So, in light of your newfound strength, and my newfound availability, since I have finished clipping my toenails tonight (you gotta have your priorities straight), consider yourself challenged.

You misbegotten, woeful listener to music of genetic throwbacks of rural Appalacia. You whose favorite group is Oilcan, the one that has that woman imitating a screech owl in all her verses.

Put together an ME of middlin' size in the 1500 point range, late war, with computer picked forces, and have your mommy pack your Barbie lunch box, for it is time you go to school.

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]</p>

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

So you're not dead yet, you old coot!

Yes, with your nouveau prowess, you may yet rank right in there with Croda from the days of yore.<hr></blockquote>

Croda?!(bolded out of respect for the unclaimed and unburied dead)

"He was a quiet man. He kept to himself. I didn't know him that well. He seemed to be nursing some sort of secret trouble. I never thought he'd turn out like he did, eh?"

consider yourself challenged.

As you doubtless have, since birth.

You misbegotten, woeful listener to music of genetic throwbacks of rural Appalacia. You whose favorite group is Oilcan, the one that has that woman imitating a screech owl in all her verses.

A silence of horror flowed across my soul when I realized you might be disparaging the group Altan (bolded out of deep love and appreciation). Mairéad Ní Mhaonaigh is, beside Karen Matheson, one of the loveliest singers in Gaelic on the planet today.

You, sir, are more than merely a philistine. You're a fecking git.

I have withstood the blight you represent for as long as the gods will tolerate. I shall proceed to get medieval on your polluted, useless, and leperous sould.

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Very strange, there, for a moment...

Ahem, Stuka, be so good as to check again. I sent your turn just a short while ago.

[ 12-03-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]<hr></blockquote>

I would like to draw everyone's attention to the post quoted above. Had time to read it? Good. Now, you will note that even including the "message edited by" line, this post lacks the characteristic Seanachai long windedness. I believe that we may take this as a sign that someone has kidnapped the little gnome and is posting in his place. I suspect the latest Ozzie git is responsible. Joe, in your role of Justicar it is your duty to put the Ozzies to the question (with all that implies). You must rack them all, because (let's face it) they all look and sound alike anyway

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Well...we could attempt to sue the bastard, retaining Lawyer, Morse, and MrSpkr for the litigation.

That's the modern equivalent.<hr></blockquote>

How much proof do you need for G... er,,, (best skip that bit)?

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns:

Lastly, Sir Lars, would you be so kind as to re-send the setup for "ArtyFest '45" to me. I seem to have misplaced it <hr></blockquote>

So you're the best champion that's going to bubble up in this place? Okay, I accept your challenge, but not for some Oklahoman's arty-fest hazing scenario. Nope. Look in your mailbox for a real computer-picked fight. Oh and wipe that brown stuff off your nose.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Well, yes but ... dash it all ... staked out on a hillside, it's just so ... RIGHT!

Joe<hr></blockquote>

I checked. It's legal in Utah. Only things that make a person feel good are illegal.

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Lawyer was busy demonstrating the Big Gubment style of attack: send squad after squad after squad after squad after squad after squad after squad after squad after squad to their deaths at the hands of a GREEN pillbox and REGULAR troops (one or two whole platoons) until your opponent dies of boredom. Note he fails to mention that I had destroyed an entire wing of his deployment (I refuse to call such an anemic performance an assault). He also fails to mention that he lost all those troops without taking a SINGLE victory flag.

And again, when pressured, General Jake runs to the rear (Down Bauhaus, I mean REALLY!) and refuses a rematch.

Sniggling cowards.

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]<hr></blockquote>

The Dunce fomerly known as MrSpkr rises to the heights of incontinent idiocy once more. I think he really is surprised that somebody who has suffered through two months of trading turns with him (Spkr sends turns by pony express on horses with three broken legs), only to find out that Speakeasy can't complete the game for stupid reasons, would not jump at the opportunity to do it all again. "C'mon, Charlie Brown, try to kick it again!"

And THEN he has the gall to brag about his "almost might-have-been victories" if only we had finished the game. Cheesy, very smelly and cheesy.

I'll be looking for Oklahoma to play in the Division IIII-Z high school championship game on January 35th in Minneapolis at the Seanachai memorial mini-dome. I think it will be broadcast on the weather channel.

Git.