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This Peng's not Challenged, He's Bleeding Demised!


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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

As you doubtless have, since birth.

<hr></blockquote>

No, no, no. In your doddering old age you seem to have confused me with MrPeng, and for that you must pay...

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

A silence of horror flowed across my soul when I realized you might be disparaging the group Altan, and the wench Mairéad Ní Mhaonaigh...

<hr></blockquote>

Poor poor Seanachai... enough already! You can sit there and prattle on and on with "The Horror! The Horror!" about what I posted, but enough is enough!

I will make the huge presumption that you are an intelligent person (mostly because it suits my needs at the moment). And as such, you are (more or less) in control of your faculties, if not your bowels.

Did I mention the name Altan (not bolded because they don't sing in English, and they smell bad) in my post? No!

I made mention of a musical group consisting of genetic throwbacks (apologies to our Aussie crowd, except that new Jeff guy).

Did I mention Mairéad Ní whatever by name? No!

I made mention of a woman whose voice is so horrendous that it sounds like a screech owl...

So where does this leave us? I make a vague post about a musical group, which you then read.

You are the one who mapped these two clues to your beloved group Altan and Mary whatever. Your brain drew the links between the clues and that group.

After all, surely I could not have led your mind to a place it was not prepared to venture. I could not have forced your few neurons to make that connection. You, on the other hand, readily made the connection, because you had been there already in your subconscious.

Curse me and gnash your teeth all you will, but it is to no avail (kind of like when you say "Not tonight Bauhaus, I have a headache").

I was merely the vehicle of awareness, the reagent of your realization, the accellerant which has left your [sneer]deep love and appreciation[/sneer] a burned out, brittle husk after it's encounter with the bright flame of truth...

[edited out of boldness]

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]</p>

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>I would like to draw everyone's attention to the post quoted above. Had time to read it? Good. Now, you will note that even including the "message edited by" line, this post lacks the characteristic Seanachai long windedness. I believe that we may take this as a sign that someone has kidnapped the little gnome and is posting in his place. I suspect the latest Ozzie git is responsible. Joe, in your role of Justicar it is your duty to put the Ozzies to the question (with all that implies). You must rack them all, because (let's face it) they all look and sound alike anyway<hr></blockquote> SOoooo, this would be part of the invstigation PRIOR to the trial! Kind of like the TV Series CSI huh? Cool, of course I'll need to have stenographers to take down the findings. Has my budget for this trial been approved yet?

Joe

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Now, Peng and I have begun another little combat. The Challenge renewed, as it were. Or rather, The Once and Future Challenge, or, it's a Mother Beautiful Challenge, and it's still there.<hr></blockquote>

So, you are attacking the oft maligned Army of Peng once again. Have you no heart? Are these brave lads not cursed enough with that vile and incompetent commander of theirs? I mean good G... er... how would you feel if everyone came along to put the boot in just because you had the misfortune to have that loathsome slug (or sloth even) for a commander. Have you no compassion? No feeling for the plight of the down trodden? No? Outstanding! I knew you had it in you! Put the boot in! Now that I think of it, why do we need three Olde Ones anyway? Its time to do away with that nasty little pod. Methinks his head would make a fine hood ornament. Where are you Peng! What rock are you hiding under? Show yourself so I can bring my unjust wrath down upon your head!

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Findings? Screams you mean. Confessions would be nice, but the screams are the point of Tor... er I mean questioning<hr></blockquote>We of the Justicariate prefer to call it "Volume Enhanced, Language Deprived (VELD)" statements. It does present some difficulties for the Stenographers but they seem to enjoy the challenge. Some of them even dress up in these cute little leather outfits with masks and spike heel boots, they really get into the spirit of the thing.

Joe

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Some of them even dress up in these cute little leather outfits with masks and spike heel boots, they really get into the spirit of the thing.<hr></blockquote>

I wasn't aware =^..^= was a stenographer?!

Btw, you forgot the whips, which I suspect are handy devices used to keep the banter flowing steadily.

Mace

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

The Dark Prince watches as Persephone drops the kerchief on our combat.

Come, Peng. Come, and face the ÜberGnome!

I will show you where the Peng Challenges grow!<hr></blockquote>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Where are you Peng! What rock are you hiding under?<hr></blockquote>

OK Peng! I'm getting very tired of waiting around here all day with my kerchief. It is time to face the ÜberGnome (Ooops! I mean the Little Garden Gnome)! The kerchief has officially dropped.

Persephone

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

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*Stolen from some "Hi, I'm a Newbie" thread*

"If you fancy a game, head over to the Antithicess thread in the general forum (its the one with the word scrotum in the title-don't ask, it's a long story, and just blame Soddball). Just remember, when you get there SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR and challenge the man of your choice"

Now isn't this just darrrrling, the outerboarders have created a clone of the MTB in some poxy alternative dimension.

I wonder if we all have Dopplegangers running around there?

Imagine that eh? A Berli that is pious and holy, a Joe Shaw that couldn't give a rat's ass about 'procedure', a Seanachai who posts one-liners about his 'thingey' or an OGSF who speaks only in the Queen's english.

Who knows, there could even be a FloppyJeff who is witty and intelligent.

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

We of the Justicariate prefer to call it "Volume Enhanced, Language Deprived (VELD)" statements. It does present some difficulties for the Stenographers but they seem to enjoy the challenge. Some of them even dress up in these cute little leather outfits with masks and spike heel boots, they really get into the spirit of the thing.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Oh come now, Joe Just-a-car (Austin A40'ish no less) ..... surely (may I call you Shirly?} you could have extended your LIMITED vocab to include the prefix S and suffix T H'MM?? Thus "VELD" becomes SVELDT or "Sarcastically Volume Enhanced, Language Deprived Tosser" - which would aptly describe your Squireling-thingy HannsyPannsy who is on the verge of SURRENDER at yon Baettle Of Jab!oh.. the END is indeed NIGH.

PS: I must THANK YOU wholeheartedly for inviting your trusty pawn (or should that be PORN TRUSTEE) Seanitchy to invite FLOSSYJEFF to participate in the "in perpetuem" Cesspool massdebate. As a token of my.. GUSHING GRATITUDE for your generosity in this regard, PLEASE accept the slab of Genuine Warm Emu Bitters winging its way to your doorstep this very minute. ENJOY!

PPS: [commence drawl]Mek sure yo shake them thar tinnies REAL GOOD, ol' buddy, coz' theys maht've gawn a bit flayt own th' lowng hawl.[cease drawl]

Ever respectfully and fawningly yours,

THE FOZ

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Odd... I thought he was talking about you Mace<hr></blockquote>

Hey, don't knock it if you haven't tried it!!!

*Pulls Stuka's fingers out of his ears*

I said DON'T KNOCK IT IF YOU HAVEN'T TRIED IT!!!!

*heads for the same liquor cabinet*

Mace

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bearlickin:

Ok, the other examples I could buy, but this is just stretching the imagination far beyond the bounds plausability<hr></blockquote>

Oh come on Bearlicker, try just a microscopic, TEENSY WEENSY stretch of that lil' ol' bwain of yours ..... oh no ....... NOT THAT MUCH, YOU EEJIT!! ......SPLUTTER... POP!!....

Oh dear, there's another fine grey mess you've got us into Berlei! Tissue??

THE FOZ

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*Stands in front of liquor cabinet*

Keep your grubby mitts out of the 'pool liquor cabinet, Mace.

Unless you have a juicy set-up for me that is. Oh you do? Something with 'splodey tanks an' buildings? and NO snow?

OK then, here you go, this scotch is verrry old and dusty, it seems no-one wants it. Look, it says '100 years old' on it. LOL, some jokester has written 'Property of Peng' on it. Here you go, its probably gone 'off' what with being so old and all.

Now toddle off and rustle up that set-up. Ker Dessel has some good 'uns these days.

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Gentleworms:

The Evil Berli has something to say about me eh? Well I say, "Big Fat Hairy Deal." I got chunks of guys like him in my pooh. The Army of Peng isn't the lackluster band of volunteer, pot-headed wackos it used to be. No. In the last 18 months the AofP has undergone a metamorphosis. (that means it has changed a lot, FozzieJeff)

In the immortal words of the Poet. "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." And it still hasn't gotten weird enough for me. Oh sure, we have set fire to the odd rodent in our day (what is the oddest rodent you can think of?), and we have had jolly sing-songs; the kind where we all dress up as our favorite member of ABBA and dance to Clash tunes sung by Anne Murray until we puke.

But the truly deviant stuff the AofP gets up to is not fit for a family oriented bulletin board such as this.

No. We publish our most dastardly, sneaky and disgusting pranks over on the Disney web site. After all, Walt was (still IS if the rumors are true) a Berli-worshipper from long long ago. Walt has perverted several generations of American youth - the proof is in Britney Spears. that screeching nightmare has been unleashed from the very bowels of Hell to torment us with her ample bosom and her gyrating hips - but it is not a siren's song that issues from her mouth...

uh, where was I? Oh yeah. Telling the Evil One to go suck eggs. The Army of Peng is ready to slap you like a retarded Roumainian orphan child - hard and without remorse. We will slaughter you like pigs in the wilderness. Your fetid innards will be stretched and strung from fence-posts and strummed like the cat-gut on a 'cello. Your pathetic prat does not amuse us, but your agonized screams will. Send a setup you sac of chicken beaks.

Peng as Known Formerly slut-Gates The

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Oh sure, we have set fire to the odd rodent in our day (what is the oddest rodent you can think of?)<hr></blockquote> Ummm, wait I know this one ... uh ... OH OH OH it's that one in South America, the Nutrious or something ... right? What do I win?

Btw, don't I owe you a turn? What the hell's the matter with you? Don't you care? Not ONE freaking word from you about the turn I owe, NOT ONE! By Gawd if you don't ASK for that turn pretty damned quick I'm going to have to take drastic action. Of course if MY troops were in the rat trap that YOUR troops are in I might not be too anxious to get turns back either, but THAT'S NO EXCUSE for your Slack attitude! GET WITH THE PROGRAM PAL!

Joe

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Ummm, wait I know this one ... uh ... OH OH OH it's that one in South America, the Nutrious or something ... right? What do I win?

Btw, don't I owe you a turn? What the hell's the matter with you? Don't you care? Not ONE freaking word from you about the turn I owe, NOT ONE! By Gawd if you don't ASK for that turn pretty damned quick I'm going to have to take drastic action. Of course if MY troops were in the rat trap that YOUR troops are in I might not be too anxious to get turns back either, but THAT'S NO EXCUSE for your Slack attitude! GET WITH THE PROGRAM PAL!

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Sirs:

It has come to our attention that you owe us a turn. We will gloss over the fact that we demanded a turn from you in a private email dated 12/3/01 in which we also recommended a personal firewall now that you have been dragged kicking and screaming into the glorious world of BROADBAND (ain't it GREAT? dont those files and web pages just zoom!?) to protect you from yourself. {As titular head of the Justicariate of the MBT you are certainly well aware that laws are made to protect us from ourselves.}

So? were is the file MrShaw? Kindly pull your fist out of your mouth and bang on the keyboard with your wrists and toes and send the effing thing to us toute suite or we will be forced to post Christina Agueleriaaaaarrrgggghh lyrics and perhaps even a picture of Ri... Ri... Ric...oh god no I can't type it. I will be forced to send you streaming video clips of Crocodile Dundee. That will clog up the old broadband pipe and then you will need all of your "skills" as Drain Commissioner to unclog it.

So, will we get our file tonight? I forget. Is it just a plot for me this time? if it is, I will return immediately on recpt. and will expect to see the movie TONIGHT!

Yours in perpetual aghast,

The Gates-Former Slutily Peng Known

[ 12-05-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p>

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Put together an ME of middlin' size in the 1500 point range, late war, with computer picked forces, and have your mommy pack your Barbie lunch box, for it is time you go to school.<hr></blockquote>

Computer picked forces? You cur. The last resort of those who can't be bothered to learn what various units actually do.

To show my disdain for your limp, 'let the machine do it for me' approach to the noble art of war, I shall play as Canadians. BTS should then allow me the historically accurate ability to assign you the French.

But you shall be Germans, as we are limited by the accuracy of the engine.

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch:

OK Peng! I'm getting very tired of waiting around here all day with my kerchief. It is time to face the ÜberGnome (Ooops! I mean the Little Garden Gnome)! The kerchief has officially dropped.

Persephone

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]<hr></blockquote>

It is done, Milady. Peng has sent me a setup.

And it's quite alright, you can call me ÜberGnome. I like you. Not like the rest of them.

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