Joe Shaw Posted December 1, 2001 Share Posted December 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: As I said, the rest is commentary. <hr></blockquote>And as I said ... [sNEER] You Are WRONG! [/sNEER] Deny it if you can Sir. Of course if you COULD ... you would have. Instead you fell back on your trite, meaningless line about commentary. Ah there was a time Hakko Ichiu, when we could COUNT on you for sharp, pointed prose ... what a pity. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted December 1, 2001 Share Posted December 1, 2001 Gentleworms: Today I thought I might try to post a little bit about what constitutes a good [bow heads] MBT [/bow heads] Post. It is not my aim to codify (our everwatchful and frighteningly vigilant Justicar has that part under control - at least when someone remembers to post the rules {ahem - soundslikeasneeze}). No, rather, it is my intent to discsuss the geometry and philosophy of posting in this, the oldest and most revered institution of Higher Taunting, on the BTS forum. Further it is my aim to so minutely scrutinize, analyze and otherwise unpack the niceties and badities of a good 'pool post that what we end up with is bereft of all meaning, import, faith, hope ,chastity (huh huh 'tity') or use in the universe. After all, if what we do here does have any value outside of our little sandbox then god in her many forms help the world. So, what can we bring away from the openining salvo? One hopes at least a six pack and a bag of pretzels. But, failing that, we at least should see that there are as in any form of art specific ways of doing things. Oil paints typically do not have any place in symphonic orchestral work, at least in an enjoyable and classical sense. Yes, yes, yes, there was the thrid chair cellist in high school that I slathered in oil paints at a particularly naughty party, but you are all quite aware that that is not what I mean when I speak of enjoyable. The art of the 'pool lies in striking the balance between the sublime and the vulgar, the moronic and the philosophical, and most importantly, the drunk and the sober. What's that, dear? what am I doing up here? oh nothing, chores, that sort of thing. Yes dear? No. No honey, I am folding laundry, I wouldn't think of playing on the computer when I have so many other important things to do. No dear. Yes dear. Right dear. The Former-Peng Gatesly Known as Slut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 1, 2001 Share Posted December 1, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng: The art of the 'pool lies in striking the balance between the sublime and the vulgar, the moronic and the philosophical, and most importantly, the drunk and the sober. <hr></blockquote> I prefer to lean towards vulgar moronic drunk myself. And now for your perusal and viewing pleasure, a naked woman...no wait! Sorry I can't find the photo. It'll have to be a few Action reports instead (perhaps an action report involving a naked woman, is that what we need?): Kitty: Between the two of us, we've managed to knock over 2 operations and 3 scenarios (as well as a bank, two convenience stores and old Mrs Migillicuddi down the street) in a veritable frenzied orgy of game play and reveiwing over the past couple of months. That I have won just over half of these due to the distraction my natural rugged good aussie looks and charm has on the feline one is moot, mainly because Lorak (more anon) is not here with us to record the results. Anyhow, I am now being the French to her Nasty Bosche swine and am caught up in horrendous street fighting on the streets of Paris. Mensch: One of his own works if I remember correctly. Germany, foggy, and so damned muddy even the mud gets bogged down. Tanks are forced to travel along sealed roads or train tracks, infantry are forced to carry many pairs of clean socks (and underwear). At least Mensch is making it easier by following the rule 'driblets, not mass' with his AFVs, and a massed uber-force knocks them off one by one. Die lots, crispy critters, and Tank Crew vacancies come to mind. Lorak: Just as I captured some of the VLs of our defending scribe. In fact I think it funny that the current middle-east crisis and Lorak's impending loss were occuring at about the same time. Things that make you go 'Hmmmmm'! The Justicar: Just started (thanks to he who changed his name from Germanboy to undress) - more at a future date Scheduled games: Sir IforgottenwhathisnickissoI'mmakingthisup - awaiting a game of Mensch making (still) Mace [ 12-01-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The ONLY reasonable crusade is the one against all Australians ... <hr></blockquote> Point of order Sir Shaw, point of order. The only reasonable crusade is against the 'alleged' Australian, AussieJeff. For in this fair land, and I'm sure I have the agreement of Sirs Mace, OGSF, Stixx, Speedy and Goanna here, that AussieJeff is the one and only stain in the otherwise crispy white underpant of Australia. As such I direct your crusade towards the disinfection and removal of said stain. May I suggest a wire brush and rubbing alcohol? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: Sirs Mace, OGSF, Stixx, Speedy and Goanna here<hr></blockquote> Sir Stuka Citizen of god's chosen country, denizen of the great southern land, MaaaaAAAAAaaaate!. Stixx is an Aussie, yes. But he is also a SSN, and as such should not be bolded. Give him time though, give him time! Mace [ 12-01-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Sir Stuka: Point of order Sir Shaw, point of order. The only reasonable crusade is against the 'alleged' Australian, AussieJeff. For in this fair land, and I'm sure I have the agreement of Sirs Mace, OGSF, Stixx, Speedy and Goanna here, that AussieJeff is the one and only stain in the otherwise crispy white underpant of Australia. As such I direct your crusade towards the disinfection and removal of said stain. May I suggest a wire brush and rubbing alcohol? <hr></blockquote> Sir Stuka I would grant you that your behavior of late has been quite good, and I'm willing to treat your misidentification of Sickxx as an honest mistake ... with the loss of Lorak to the wilds of where ever the hell he is it can be difficult to keep track. This recent behavior, however, does not remove you from the ranks of the Australians. Your status may more accurately be considered as "Goodlife" in the Fred Saberhagen - Berserker sense of the word, i.e. one who serves the greater good (i.e. the CessPool) but is still and undeniably part of the larger population that is evil and "Badlife" (i.e. Australians). And, as everyone knows, Goodlife is only retained WHILE it provides service to the greater good. In other words ... these words not to put too fine a point on it ... watch your step Sir, the journey from Goodlife to Badlife can be very short indeed. To suggest that ALL or even most Australians are anything LIKE "crispy white underpants" is ridiculous on the face of it ... hell, most Australians wouldn't know underpants of ANY color ... Underoos excepted of course. Your identification of FlossieJeff as a Skidmark on the Skivies type of Badlife is consistent with Goodlife behavior and your suggestion of methodology does you credit. We shall retain your services for a time longer. Joe {edited to change ONE little letter, honest, that was all, just a "p" instead of a "o" ... and yes, I AM P.O.ed about it, what would Andreas think?" [ 12-01-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 Lawyer, Make it Saturday the 8th afternoon, and I can meet you. Dick's Last Resort is at Navy Pier and might be a good meeting place. I even have a IBM laptop this time gentle folk from Chicago. Rune Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 ... We have our idiom, our own particular (some might say peculiar) mold, as do other great art forms. Haiku with its syllabic straight jacket springs to mind - there have been some bloody beautiful Combaikus generated by MBT participants by the way... Yes, Dear the laundry is folded. No, Dear, it has not been put away. Yes, Dear. No, Dear. Right, Dear. ...As with other great forms of art, the Ideal {that's capital 'I' Ideal} post in the MBT is both derivative and generative: It derives it's form - it's Shell, if you will, from the mold, the form, of the art, which is itself a derivative of the ancient art of taunting, but it at the same instance generates it's own new light. .. Yes, Dear the laundry is put away now. NO DEAR, I am NOT PLAYING on the computer. YES DEAR I WILL VACUUM THE EFFING OFFICE! ...If we dissect some of the various parameters of the form we can begin to see that, while some are nearly as rigid as the 5-7-5 syllabic Procrustean bed of Haiku, there is room for both head and toes. 11. Enumeration. Which is not only a Cardinal rule of any good post, it is an Ordinal rule as well. Its origins in the Peng Pod family date back to when the twins were mere zygotes, and we needed to distinguish the two in utero. Being of the rabidly unstable sort, I did not want to impose any "birth order effects" or bring to bear the implicit notion that "one" is better than "two": I insisted that the sonogram technicians refer to the little blobs of cells as "baby 1" and "baby A" - Enumeration no longer held any meaning... GODDAMMIT, DEAR! I am TRYING to write a very important essay! OW! Hey! quit it! No No No OWWWW! I'll do you a treat for that one you horrid WITCH! [ 12-01-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 ATTENTION! NEWS FLASH!! DECEMBER 2, 2001 At 11.30am this morning (EST), Doktor PengPong – a world renowned expert in the control and elimination of virulent septic bacterium and other forms of parasitic organisms from stagnant pools of water has revealed that he has been working undercover for the ASS (Australian Secret Service) since the first discovery of a BTS CessPool on this planet. He has also declared that he has developed a new, more powerful Anti-Cesspudlian bacteriocide that should convert what is commonly termed "old grog scum" that lurk in the depths of any Cesspool or pit on Earth, into harmless froth and bubble that can be easily sucked up and disposed of by SSN's (Scum Sucking Newbies). Apparently, SSN's were originally invented by the good Doktor to perform this task, but were simply overwhelmed by the gross volume of filth and decaying old scum within these pools of ex-cess. But now, with the aid of Doktor PP's OGSF (Old Grog Scum Fighter liquid), SSN's will find it remarkebly easy to digest the filthy excretions of the hordes of parasites and septic dross (such as the Shornitchy virus, HannsyPannsy plague and JoeBlow bacterium) that currently inhabit the many CP's to be found around the place. Doktor PP said (in a strange, twittering yet gutteral accent) "I haf alvayz been farsecheinated mit der amayzink interlect off der Auztraylian peeplez. Zey are zo – how can I zayink it – UBERZCHMARTEN! Ja daz izt der richt vord! Zo, ven I dizchkover der lifethreatenink zchtink off der BTZ Cezzpool I zayink to minezelfen – zelfen, du muzcht bekommen der Auztraylian Cityzen unt lernen zere vonderful nowledge. Zat izt vy I joinen der ARSE (Australian Royal Septic Engineers) az der Special Zecret Doubletrouble Agent az zoon az I kould!" Mr PP went on to say "Ze Auztraylianz teached minezelf zere zecret formulaz for der makink off mine zuper OGSF. Vizout givink two muchen avay, zer Wunderlikvid conziztz bazically off der mixture off Vombat droppingz, Goanna gizzardz unt Schtuka bile, blended in der cauztic Mace urine. It iz amazink!! After vun applicayzhun, der putrid zchtink from der grog zlime unt zcummen izt magikly vanizhed!!" Last night at a glittering ceremonial ball, Australian Primed Ministir John Howhard accorded the good Doktor PengPong the highest honour and granted him an honourary GROTARSE (General Regalia Of The Australian Royal Septic Engineers) during a memorable and eloquent speech, saying "Errr.....mmmmmmm...my fellow Australians, lend me your ears ......errr........errrmmm......" and so forth. It is expected that much of the grog scum and vile foreign parasitic organisms that inhabit the CP's will try to mount a vitriolic campaign against Australia's newest and most glorified citizen, now that they realize he has been working for the Greater Australian Cause all along, but Doc PP declares that "Zey vill fail mizerably! Der OGSF likvid izt all-powerrrrful unt vill cleanen der lickzpittle from zere CP'z zooner razer dan later!!" GROTARSE PP has already indicated that he will continue his excellent undercover work for his adopted Australia by trolling and lurking within the realms of the CP's and continuing to instigate so-called CP "threads" – useful for spreading mis-information to confuse the Cesspudlian community. The Doktor's final words as he jumped into his new Leer Jet were rousing indeed: "Allez Uber Auztraylia!!" Indeed, Doktor...... Australia thanks you and wishes you GAWD -SPEEDOS!. -------------------------------------------------- This article courtesy of the Sydney Sin Herald [ 12-01-2001: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The only thing I want to hear from this SSN is how badly he's dying at the hands of my GrandSquire Hanns. And perhaps if/when he does it he might consider posting some words that actually make sense ... Joe<hr></blockquote> Oh, indubitably, SIRE! Fer yer edificayshen, me old matey, In your TRUMPED UP Jabo! scenario I have SMASHED THROUGH yon feeble Squireling Handsies' paltry poltroons, shot down all his flimsy box kites and NOW my MIGHTY UBERFORCES stand within metres of ULTIMATE VICTORY!!! MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!! I pray thee to stand by for further wondrous NEWS from the front of [sneer]stunning Aussie victories [/sneer]. Yours lurkingly The Foz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 Gawd - who let the wannabe in? He's worse than PL was - double posts of a long and monotonous nature that are best to skip over entirely. Okay, okay, so he is EXACTLY as bad as PL was. Seanachai please fix or do somefink! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng: Yes, Dear the laundry is folded. No, Dear, it has not been put away. Yes, Dear. No, Dear. Right, Dear. Yes, Dear the laundry is put away now. NO DEAR, I am NOT PLAYING on the computer. YES DEAR I WILL VACUUM THE EFFING OFFICE! GODDAMMIT, DEAR! I am TRYING to write a very important essay! OW! Hey! quit it! No No No OWWWW! I'll do you a treat for that one you horrid WITCH!<hr></blockquote> I've just had a nasty realisation how similar our lives are, Peng! Quite frightening really. Mace [ 12-02-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 Did you note the hint of alarm and nervousness in Mrspkr's last post? He has just sent me his 1st turn orders for our new slugging match (of which the only one he has won was the first - Jabo! or somefink) and already he is preparing to lose. Ahh, what a goon. I would also like to mention that after calling him (giggles) a "girl-among-women" and berating him in public, he sent me a very cordial game set-up. Notice, he also never "publicly" accepted my challenge. Well, fear not, gentleworms, I shall make known all the writhings of torture that I put MrGingrich through. He will get no peace from me, and he will get no piece of me, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 Oh BTW (in addition), Nobody but NOBODY was as bad as ME!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Blah, blah blah blah PAY ATTENTION TO ME PAY ATTENTION TO ME<hr></blockquote> Did someone important say something? No? Must have been all those burritos I ate for supper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 Excite.com is R.I.P. and so is my old email, the new onefor those of you whose destruction is to continue it's now jdmorse@attbi.com Carry on now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Oh BTW (in addition), Nobody but NOBODY was as bad as ME!!<hr></blockquote> I'll second that....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 Good morning you hung-over yankee fuzzy-toothed gits. Instead of popping zits in the mirror, why not head over to 217.208.10.30 for an 800 point computer pick ME. See opp finder for details. Thx gents (snigger) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 2, 2001 Share Posted December 2, 2001 You just don't get it do you, SSNplayer? This is not the place for your perverted ladderistic tendencies, go chase your willing young men in the general forum, or sumfink. This thread is for other, more cultured perversions. Right Mace? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted December 2, 2001 Author Share Posted December 2, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng: ... We have our idiom, our own particular (some might say peculiar) mold, as do other great art forms. Haiku with its syllabic straight jacket springs to mind - there have been some bloody beautiful Combaikus generated by MBT participants by the way... <hr></blockquote> Bubbles of gas burst Filling the 'Pool with their pong: AussieJeff speaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 3, 2001 Share Posted December 3, 2001 Morning Sun awakens Gleaming wire brush strikes Underpants, crispy, once more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 3, 2001 Share Posted December 3, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: Morning Sun awakens Gleaming wire brush strikes Underpants, crispy, once more.<hr></blockquote> Would that it were so, Stuka ... would that it were so. With the absurd and dismissive DAR he "posted" recently he's off MY Christmas list for certain. You know, when I was training my company's staff there was always one in the class who just didn't Get It. In this case we have one who not only doesn't Get It ... he doesn't Get that he doesn't Get It. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted December 3, 2001 Share Posted December 3, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: You know, when I was training my company's staff there was always one in the class who just didn't Get It. In this case I not only don't Get It ... I don't Get that I don't Get It!!. Joe<hr></blockquote> ------------------------------------------- QED Merkwürdige Gerüche der Prairiemond-Wannen smite thee, die cloying dunklen befleckten Pools, fetid, vertraut! Got it?? Merry Xmas, Santa [ 12-02-2001: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 3, 2001 Share Posted December 3, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: This thread is for other, more cultured perversions. Right Mace?<hr></blockquote> Yah, dat's right! *scratches bottom* We don want no stinkan pooftas here, dis is a top-notch cultchard place dis is! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted December 3, 2001 Share Posted December 3, 2001 Fer Gawdsake Hanndsie! Stop playin' wid Joe's wimmen an' send me feckin' turn so's I can finish yer orf!! Ye are slower than a slug on valium....... Yours scornfully, The Foz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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