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The Peng Challenge Thread's Got Talent!

Boo Radley
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Boo Radley Senior Member

Boo Radley

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But we keep it hidden.

Under a bushel basket, as it were.

AAAAAOOOOOGAAAAAAH! AAAAAOOOOOGAAAAAAH! AAAAAOOOOOGAAAAAAH!

Now is the reading of the rules!

(But for 99.9999% of you SSN's, I'll just cut to the chase and say SOD OFF!)

As for that miniscule .000001%, those few, those gallant few, those firm ripe... where was I...?

Right, right, right... for a very few of you (If thee are deemed worthy - and the bar's set pretty low, believe me*) know thee this!

The object of this, the Peng Challenge Thread also known as The Mutha Beautiful Thread and on rare occasions, The Olde One's All Night Drink Emporium and Whoopie Parlor, is to promote the playing of CM games**, so if ye are to stay here, CHALLENGE someone to a game! But don't come in all metro-seckshule and say;

Hi! My name's Denny and I really, really like this game. Anyone want to play?"

For we shall mock you.***

Show some wit. Show some verve. Spit bile and brimstone, but above all else.... amuse us. For we have been here since the beginning and are filled with ennui****

As for the other rules, go look at some of the past threads. I can't be bothered writing all that hoo-haw down again. Or call Joe. He'll GLADLY recite them all to you.

* We set it low so we don't have to reach very far for our drinks.

** Winning them is another thing entirely. It's not whether you win or lose, it's all about verbally abusing your opponent.

*** We'll mock you in any event, so for us it's pretty much win-win.

**** Some are filled with something a bit more... pungent... than just ennui, but that's what happens when you eat a lot of radishes.

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Joe Shaw Senior Member

Joe Shaw

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Oh well fine ... just fine Boo Radley ... on the very week I have to leave for Des Moines again YOU go and post "rules" that virtually invite the lesser lights to drop in and say howdy.

Really freaking fine ... well you made this mess and now you have to deal with it.

I'll be busy and won't be able to step in and save you this time.

Do TRY to maintain some semblance of order here ... there's a good Auxilliary Backup Deputy Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread ... or, if not a good one ... the one we have.

I'd really like to think that the Peng Challenge Thread will still be here when I return ... but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Joe

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Boo Radley Senior Member

Boo Radley

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In the parlance of today...

Pay attention, everyone! Mikey's going to lecture us all on what he knows about 'popular culture'. Two words with which he only has a theoretical acquaintance.

But in other news, I held dalem to a draw in our latest pas de deux. He had one flag all sewn up and I held the other one.

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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

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I understand that people, or something very like people, (cough, Lars) have recently been discomfited and discommoded by password problems.

All I have to say is: I logged on normally, and am posting as an Old One of the Peng Challenge Thread.

So... I guess... I should be a bit vague... and acknowledge the issues of lesser mortals who couldn't log on... and -

Sod that for a game of tin soldiers.

I'm here, and you lot need to fall down upon your knees (their fecking knees, Justicar), and acknowledge me.

That's it. Just give a bit of a cheerful wave with whatever you're drinking this morning, and give me a merry 'Feck Off, Old One!'

Look, when it comes right down to it, I'm a complete lunatic without a real job, and I know where each and every one of you sods live. I could show up tomorrow on your front porch, demanding 'America'.

I wouldn't have to define it, or have it make any sense. I could show up on your goddamn doorstep, tomorrow, and demand 'America'.

I've been completely broke and only casually employed for the last 12 months, and the only thing between myself and debtor's prison (the Republicans had reinstated this, haven't they?), is the love of my family, the concern of my friends, and the certain knowledge that when push comes to shove, that 'America' will have to suffice.

'America'.

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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

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I am a man who is rich in Small Friends, as you know. I have stories, so many stories, that I haven't taken the time to write here. And that demeans me. For every story is the story of us all, although most of us haven't understood them for 20 years or more.

I should write more Small Friend stories.

Mind you, I tell those stories all the time. To family, to friends, to fools, to people who barely understand how every little vignette is like the Story of Mankind, written small.

Because every story of Small Friends is the story of all of us.

It's been a good long time since I did a story of Small Friends. They are getting to be very big girls, as it were. And now, at this time, they*are, as they have always been, my masters.

They tell me: Grandma Steve, lean down. I need to tell you a secret in your ear!

And then, they whisper to me, something very small and silly like, 'Grandma Steve, I want you to get me some chocolate. Don't tell Mommy!'

And that's the thing. We've entered into a conspiracy. They know that I am their henchman, and they know that we're in a desperate battle of fun against Mommy.

And they whisper to me: 'Grandma Steve, we want to watch a movie.' And 'Grandma Steve, we want dessert'. And 'Grandma Steve, we want, we want, we want, and don't tell Mommy!'

Every bit of it is wonderful, and every bit of it is a secret. And every bit of it draws me into a small, secret world where little girls want someone to speak for them, and they want something like a Grown-up to do their bidding, and they shiver with the delight of conspiring against Mommy.

And I, their faithful henchman, do my very best to make their Mom give in to them. I, someone their Mom regards as slightly more sentient than the dogs, tells her: "Jen, maybe the girls should get dessert, even though Nora didn't eat enough dinner". And "Jen, maybe the girls should be allowed to watch all of this movie, even though it's getting late".

It's all a game. Their mother is the first to give in to them, although she makes a big deal out of letting them have their way, and Grandma Steve is barely acknowledged as a go between.

But I do my part. I've known their Mom since long before they were born, and even though she regards me as an idjit, I'm there for them. I'm their advocate. And, when all is said and done, when I'm there they get to stay up later, and they get more dessert, and they know that the only Adult they own is Grandma Steve.

Their Mom blames me for a lot, and tells me I'm a bad influence, but we all know that I am their Grandma Steve, and that until they marry, I will be their Grandam Steve, and that anyone who ever makes them unhappy is going to die hard.

But you didn't hear that from me. Because the Statute of Limitations doesn't run out on some things.

When you get taken in as an old family*retainer, you don't consider consequences, much.

But you do pay attention to a small voice saying 'Grandma Steve, I would really like some chocolate pudding'.

Hell, who doesn't like chocolate pudding?!

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costard Senior Member

costard

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Swim this way Gnome, and I'll set you up in a job that requires you to paddle down a river. Well, a creek anyway. True, you'll have blue balls from sitting in a puddle plant killing goodness all day, but you'll be gainfully employed, once more counted as a tax-paying worthy. Your Peng buddies will chortle and give thanks for the circumstances that see you poisoned while you work and do something you enjoy - all at the same time.

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Michael Emrys Senior Member

Michael Emrys

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...give me a merry 'Feck Off, Old One!'

Consider it done.

Look, when it comes right down to it, I'm a complete lunatic...

You still here? And playing Mr. Obvious again.

I wouldn't have to define it, or have it make any sense.

Of course not. Why change now when you are so very close to the end?

Michael

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Mace Senior Member

Mace

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give me a merry 'Feck Off, Old One!'

That's far too easy, and taking the fun right out of it, so how about a

'How bloody great it is to see you again, dear, dear friend'?

hmmm I just choked on a bit of bile then. Bleh!

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Boo Radley Senior Member

Boo Radley

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Swim this way Gnome, and I'll set you up in a job that requires you to paddle down a river. Well, a creek anyway. True, you'll have blue balls from sitting in a puddle plant killing goodness all day, but you'll be gainfully employed, once more counted as a tax-paying worthy. Your Peng buddies will chortle and give thanks for the circumstances that see you poisoned while you work and do something you enjoy - all at the same time.

And he'd be removed to Oddstralia.

So it would be a win-win situation. Except for the Aussies, but then again, they're Aussies, so he'd probably fit right in.

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