Seanachai Challenges Peng Thread Procedures

[Joe Shaw]

Disassociated Press - Feb. 11, 2006

Seanachai, the Bard of the 'Pool and Olde One, has challenged the right of rleete to claim the serf Stoat (spelt but not bolded) and take him to Squire.

Sources familiar with Seanachai state that he may not have been aware of the lad's status since he's pretty much in a drunken fog at the best of times and something worse than that when he normally posts in the wee hours of the morning when only Australians are about.

The Peng Challenge Thread is that ongoing thread in the BFC Combat Mission bulletin board which was created for the purpose of providing a community for the more quick witted amongst the readers of the board to challenge like minded readers to games of Combat Mission. While the occassional SSN (Scum Sucking Newbie) will wander in, the Mutha Beautiful Thread, as it's also known, strictly requires them to include a general location and an email address in their profile lest they be ignored.

The Seniour Knights, Knights in Ordinary, Squires and Serfs of the CessPool, another name for the Peng Challenge Thread, will, of course, scorn any challenge from an SSN but may require a Serf or even a Squire to battle them to test the SSNs wit and staying power. It thus behooves the SSN to post with some wit greater than "half" and never, under any circumstances, annoy or belittle the Ladies of the 'Pool. Nonetheless, SSNs may gain membership should they be judged worthy and may then be selected as a "Serf to the 'Pool" by a Knight or Seniour Knight. That Knight then has the Right of First Refusal should the Serf be worthy of advancement to the lofty rank of Squire.

Seanachai took it upon himself to claim a Serf known as Stoat (spelt but not bolded) as his Squire when said Stoat had been spoken for by rleete. Observers of CessPool procedures and processes are concerned about the future and purity of bodily fluids amongst the membership.

One senior member of the CessPool said, "Crikey, just wait 'till the Justicar hears o' this mate ... there'll be blood in the water then and no error. Pass the beer mate."

[ February 11, 2006, 08:15 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Boo Radley]

Reporting for Faux News, Boo Radley, er... reports that at no point in his initial reque... er... demand for the Serf, Stoat, did Seanachai ever acknowledge rleete at all. Seanachai's actual words were:

"Now, possibly some other tosser here may have allegedly taken Stoat as a Squire, which I doubt, but, in any case, it doesn't matter a damn because:

1) Anyone who makes such a claim is a vicious, lying sodomite.

2) I am not above pointing out that whatever I want is more important than what some vicious, lying sodomite might want.

3) Boo claims that Stoat seems to be a young person, and I am the only person here fit to deal with the young, given that almost all the rest of you are vicious, lying sodomites."

Granted, he said "to Squire" and not "proposed as Serf", but I believe the distinction must be made.

Why, I really don't know, but it sounded good at the time.

And besides that... I need another beer.

psssst.... Joe, you DID say there'd be stenographers, right?

[rleete]

I still get to shoot the old bastard at twenty paces, right? Tell me I get to shoot the old tosser, pretty please?

[Red Necked Dollar]

I would like to add a few rules to the addendum, if there is one;

</font>

• 1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
  2. It is considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
  3. Always identify the person in your yard before shooting at them.
  4. Even if you are certain you are in the Will do not take a U-Haul to the Funeral Home.
  5. When decanting wine make sure you tilt the bottle slowly while pouring into the paper cup, as not to “bruise” the fruit of the wine.
  6. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.
  7. Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.</font>

[Boo Radley]

The film "Deliverance" is just like a home movie for you, isn't it?

[Red Necked Dollar]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

The film "Deliverance" is just like a home movie for you, isn't it?

I preferred The Silence of the Sheep and Deep Goat over Deliverance but Behind the Green Teeth prolly deserves a mention.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Red Necked Dollar:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

The film "Deliverance" is just like a home movie for you, isn't it?

I preferred The Silence of the Sheep and Deep Goat over Deliverance but Behind the Green Teeth prolly deserves a mention. </font>

[Red Necked Dollar]

We dind have time for a lot of music, my wife had to be to scholl early the next day.

[Joe Shaw]

Gentlemen, gentlemen ...and you too Boo Radley ... let us FOCUS here.

These are critical times for us and for the CessPool as a hole and we must stay sternly on task. To that end I shall empanel a select committee to uncover the FACTS of the case before us and determine the ... uh ... other facts of the case.

In order to ease their burden I am pleased to announce that the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread will be providing 6 (sex ... sorry, six) Stenographers from Big Al's School of Stenography, Hair Design and PC Repair to provide ... assistance ... and stuff.

Have we any volunteers?

Joe

[juan_gigante]

I'd like to volunteer. While I am only a squire, I feel that I am qualified to serve, and will explain why here.

1. I am young, and reasonably new to the MBT. I believe that my generation of Poolers needs to have their voice heard on this matter. A panel of a few deeply entrenched members will not provide as fair, diverse, or accurate a conclusion as one which includes myself.

2. I have a good, proven track record of beneficial research for both the Office of the Justicariate and the Pool as a whole. Example 1: It was I who discovered stoat's real age, as he attempted to posture that he was older than the Justicar.

3. I am a good writer. Look at my recent AAR as an example of my skills in composition and argument.

I feel my qualifications and loyal service to the Peng Challenge Thread have given me the right, nay, the duty to serve the MBT as best I can from a seat on this panel.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by juan_gigante:

I'd like to volunteer. While I am only a squire, I feel that I am qualified to serve, and will explain why here.

1. I am young, and reasonably new to the MBT. I believe that my generation of Poolers needs to have their voice heard on this matter. A panel of a few deeply entrenched members will not provide as fair, diverse, or accurate a conclusion as one which includes myself.

2. I have a good, proven track record of beneficial research for both the Office of the Justicariate and the Pool as a whole. Example 1: It was I who discovered stoat's real age, as he attempted to posture that he was older than the Justicar.

3. I am a good writer. Look at my recent AAR as an example of my skills in composition and argument.

I feel my qualifications and loyal service to the Peng Challenge Thread have given me the right, nay, the duty to serve the MBT as best I can from a seat on this panel.

Oh well done juan_gigante, you are an example to all of us ... now ... how fast do you take dictation and do you have a short skirt? Big Al is very picky about his students you know.

Joe

[ng cavscout]

awww, look at that, he puffed up, shined his shoes, slicked his hair down with spit and every thing. It brings a tear to me eye it does, a bleedin' tear.

[Mace]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:

awww, look at that, he puffed up, shined his shoes, slicked his hair down with spit and every thing. It brings a tear to me eye it does, a bleedin' tear.

ULP!

*almost chokes on bile*

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:

awww, look at that, he puffed up, shined his shoes, slicked his hair down with spit and every thing. It brings a tear to me eye it does, a bleedin' tear.

Now, now NG cavscout, I'd not think to have YOU, of all people, denigrate SERVICE and VOLUNTEERISM.

Perhaps "stenographer" has a different meaning where you are now ... from a Google image search for "stenographer" ...

Joe

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Perhaps "stenographer" has a different meaning where you are now ... from a Google image search for "stenographer" ...

Joe, I...I can't avoid the feeling that you have somehow managed to confuse 'stenographer' with 'kingpin of drug smuggling ring'. Do you think you might have had another of your blackouts while thumbing through the Yellow Pages? (I'm trying hard to give you the benefit of the doubt here.)

Michael

[SturmSebber]

Man, The Pool has gotten so LAME that it's more likely to be named the Pond . What you all need is a mudbath and Let's face it my obvious superior and enlighted guiding. I suggest, nay, demand to be made GOD of the Pool. And mind you, i'm not one of those silly white-bearded God's who sits on a cloud and listens to "the lollipop's" all day long. No, i'd be like the über-sodomite, that little green something between your teeth that ruins your first date, I'd be that last chapter of nietzsche's book you'd never got around to, or that telemarketing guy who calls at 12 pm. The flea on your dog, the snake in paradise, the blooper door in Startrek, that unfunny sketch from Monty Python,... I'd be BLISS.

Imagine, me talking about myself for years to come, if that doesn't sour things up around here, what will? Oh, i can feel it now, that spark of the divine...

An atraumatic grasper [Endo Babcock or Dolphin Nose Grasper] is inserted via the right upper quadrant trocar . The cecum is retracted upward toward the liver. In most cases, this maneuver will elevate the appendix in the optical field of the telescope. The appendix is grasped with a 5 mm claw-type grasper inserted via the supra-pubic trocar . It is held toward the abdominal wall.

So there you have it, who can argue with THAT! I didn't think so! Now, BEND OVER .

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by SturmSebber:

I suggest, nay, demand to be made GOD of the Pool.

Too late, Sparky. I am already God-Emperor of the Known and Unknown Universe, which jurisdiction includes those precincts known variously as the Pool, Cesspool, MBT, etc., etc.

I could appoint you as a demi-urge in charge of pollution control though, if you like.

Michael

[ng cavscout]

Hey, that guy cooked my omelet this morning.

Don't waste that bile Mace, you Aussies probably spread it on your toast or something.

Joe Shaw, you are right, I should have some sensitivity. Alright, as a Knight of the house of Rune, I shall volunteer to sit in judgement of this case. I shall put my natural distaste for Seanachai, as a native of Minestrone, aside. I shall forget the grave diser... disser... wrong done to me by rleete by never actually sending me the Ginger Mead I was promised so long ago. (I was just so excited because I thought he said Ginger Lynn, imagine my chagrin...)

I do hereby vow, on my honor as a Kanigget of the great House of Rune to give unbiased, weighty and true judgement to the arguments tendered by both parties, (hereafter referred to as the parties of the Yth and 948576th parts).

[ng cavscout]

Also, after seeing "Wolf Creek", I am even more uncomfortable around the boyos from Down Under. I think I would rather turn my back on SturmSebber.

Hey, do Belgians actually eat Belgian waffles? or is that just an American dish we tried to give some class to by giving it a European name?

[ng cavscout]

Hey, I can even bring my own stenographer...

[SturmSebber]

We call them Brussel Waffels

[ng cavscout]

Well, they are a wonderful contribution to world cuisine, if not a great help to my waistline...

[37mm]

I’d also like to volunteer for the… volunteer work… stuff, oh & the stenographers (If I & Juan Gigante are the only volunteers do we get three each?).

I suppose I have to qualify myself?

(Bx) I have an almost pathologically hatred of Seanachai because he closed down my first thread… but I might have a cool enough head to bury my undiminished & eternal outrage... at least long enough to give Seanachai the appearance of a fair hearing.

(Tiii) I mean it was my first thread… and it was marvellous & he just swooped in drunk as a skunk… skunk, do skunks even get drunk?... err anyway he was drunk & just wiped it from existence… obliterated it… sigh … oh err another qualification is that… I have a cool Suit I’ve been meaning to wear, it’s got a kind of Nehru Jacket. I’d look spiffing.

(ICBM) It is ridiculously easy to bribe, cajole or bewitch me with words, cash, promises, threats or even vague flattery… this could provide much needed entertainment & sport to what would otherwise be a straight out ‘Seanachai is guilty & should burn for his crimes’ verdict.

[Joe Shaw]

Since there was apparently some confusion about exactly WHAT was being volunteered for (I thought it was pretty clear that I was looking for stenographers), I suppose I have no choice but to accept the volunteers for our Select Committe itself and rely upon the good offices of Big Al to find our stenographers.

Therefore, by the power vested in me by the Olde Ones of the Peng Challenge Thread and relying upon the charge and responsibility of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread, to wit, to maintain the SACRED Traditions of same ... the Peng Challenge Thread that is, not the wit ... which seems to be in something of a slump lately ... I hereby empower and enjoin the F.I.S.A. Committee (Full Investigation of Seanachai's Actions) to investigate, subpeona, interview and deliver a full report to the body of the CessPool on the subject of the subjugation of Stoat (spelt but not bolded) Serf to the CessPool and his future deployment or lack thereof.

Said FISA Committee shall consist of juan_gigante representing the Squires and Serfs of the CessPool, NG cavscout representing the U.S.elements of the CessPool, Sir Sir 37mm representing the foreign CessPool and as Chairman of the Committee and representing the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread, Boo Radley ... okay TECHNICALLY he didn't volunteer but it's not like he's got a LIFE or anything.

May I respectfully suggest to the FISA Committee that the prime question before them should be ... "What did Seanachai not know and when did he not know it?"

Joe

[ng cavscout]

ummm, hey, that sounds like work and stuff. I don't remember signing up for that!

I put it to my fellow members of the committee that first of all, Committee is, I am fairly sure, spelled correctly, and for this, I feel that the Justicar deserves a round of heart felt applause. Hear Hear

Secondly, Seanachai, great persona of the Cesspool though he may be, was unaware of the greatness of the magic moving picture and sound producing box (otherwise known to parties of the 7th part as a Televison Set) series called Firefly. Verily, he was unaware of this, as referenced by himself in a thread started in a rather slipshod and hesitant manner by Seanachai himself, until it was brought to his attention by none other than his fellow Minnesoteannie, Dalem.

I ask you fellow panel members, is a person, and I do use that term loosely, who would permit such a cultural phenomenon to pass by unwatched, unworshipped, unknown even, someone that we need cultivating (just like a farmer he is) and stroking (down SturmSebber), and grooming (like a clan of chimps the Minnesotans are when you get them together) the next generation of Pool inhabitants?

I realize that this goes beyond the purview of the panel, to whit, the proper interpretation and implementation of Pool rules, ethics, guidlines, gridlines, and bylaws, but it does speak to Seanachai's fitness as a liege.

I await your rebuttals, comments, complaints, or actually, any sign that you lot actually type coherent messages rather than just randomly bang keys on the keyboard because you like the clackety clackey sound.