A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

I do hereby take the serf, AussieJeff for my squire

Thou shalt perform...

24) A Task - You shall go forth and find each and every generation of the Immortal Thread and post the links in order.

My Noble Liege, herewith find that I have completed this onerous task. The future of the MB Peng Challenge Thread is vouschafed through this deed, for their can be no future without a past. I foresee many sleepless nights ahead for fellow Cesspudlians enthralled by this tome of knowledge:

<SMALL>http://lindan.panzershark.com/cesspool/007077.html Jul 08 2000

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/013030.html Nov 28 2000

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/013850.html Dec 18 2000

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/014862.html Jan 12 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/015377.html Jan 22 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/015730.html Jan 30 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/016037.html Feb 07 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/016566.html Feb 21 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=016783 Feb 27 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=017065 Mar 6 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=017166 Mar 9 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=017360 Mar 14 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=017511 Mar 19 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=017612 Mar 22 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=017739 Mar 25 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=017877 Mar 29 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=018027 Apr 03 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=018238 Apr 11 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=018365 Apr 16 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=018681 Apr 27 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=018929 May 07 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=019082 May 20 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=019270 May 30 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=019380 Jun 04 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=019527 Jun 11 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=019676 Jun 17 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=019868 Jun 23 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=019996 Jun 28 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=020094 Jul 03 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=020267 Jul 11 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=020394 Jul 17 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=020499 Jul 22 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=020591 Jul 27 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=020692 Aug 02 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=020774 Aug 08 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=020931 Aug 17 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021064 Aug 24 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021085 Aug 26 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021187 Sep 01 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021259 Sep 07 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021363 Sep 16 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021509 Sep 26 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021635 Oct 03 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021731 Oct 09 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=021880 Oct 17 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=022046 Oct 27 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=022217 Nov 07 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=022391 Nov 20 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=022483 Nov 20 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=022615 Dec 07 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=022727 Dec 16 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=022793 Dec 21 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=022878 Dec 30 2001

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=023001 Jan 08 2002

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=023700 Feb 23 2002

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=023802 Feb 28 2002

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=023902 Mar 06 2002

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=023990 Mar 12 2002

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=024066 Mar 18 2002</SMALL>

AussieJeff

Official SOB (Squire of Berli)

PS: Sorry bout the long URL's, but TOO BAD! SOD OFF!!

--------------------

The number of medals on an officer's breast varies in inverse proportion to the square of the distance of his duties from the front line.

--Charles Edward Montague--

[ March 21, 2002, 08:37 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Dear Mr Cruda,

Unfortunately for your rabidself, as a return gesture of goodwill I have BELCHED FIRE FROM MY ARSE and incinerated the poor PiZzleIVH and Tiggywiggy <BIG>YOU</BIG> had parked <BIG>ON TOP OF THE HILLS AS WELL!!</BIG>.

Accordingly, <BIG>YOU</BIG> Mr Cruda are now (2) two tanks less, thank you very much!!

Kindest regards and best of luck for your remaining <FONT COLOR = YELLOW>troppotruppen<FONT COLOR = BLACK>,

<FONT COLOR = GREEN>AussieJeff<FONT COLOR = BLACK>

<FONT COLOR = RED>SOD (Squire of Berli)<FONT COLOR = BLACK>[/QB]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

The Paleontologists gathered around the now desiccated remains of the creature. All that was left was an abnormally large skull and wide hips. The skull showed signs of trauma from bludgeoning. The lead scientist thoughtfully scratched his head and declared that this was the Homo Crodus . “It’s quite obvious that this one liked the night life and to boogie. Notice the abnormally large hips he/she had. Since the average Homo Crodus aka Croda was known to carry a purse and to sashay here and there, the hips were more pronounced than found in a normal human. If we had the shin bone, then you would see evidence of enhanced musculature due to high heel usage.”

Since none of the other observers cared about this freak of nature, they automatically deferred to the observation of the lead scientist. Some had read about the freak of nature who had created the monstrosity known as Crodaburg. They had only learned enough to pass their respective exams. The average question on one of the tests looked like this:

Circa 2002 AD, Homo Crodus was known to plague society by doing the following:

A. Creating unreasonably large scenarios

B. Whining and crying like a “Stank Ho”

C. Attending Closet Queens parties

D. All of the Above

Even a freshman knows that “All of the Above” is always the best answer regarding the Homo Crodus. But what they did not know about this freak of nature would be their downfall. This sad excuse for a proto hominid had the ability to breed and it was quite possible that there were others of its kind frolicking around the hills of Pennsltucky.

A word to the wise: When you decide to drive through the Keystone state, don’t stop for anyone who might have a sloping forehead, one eyebrow and a salivary problem. It might be a Homo Crodus. Keep your windows up and continue driving. If one blocks your way, disrobes, and does the Croda Dance with sparklers and an “I’m with Stupid hat” on it’s head, you should run it over, back up, and run it over again. You can then drive home satisfied with the knowledge that you did your part to rid this world of that nasty bit of DNA gone awry known as Croda.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

PS: Sorry bout the long URL's, but TOO BAD! SOD OFF!!

Now see that Joe? I set my squire a near impossible task and he bloody does it. While you... lose your squire AND grandsquire

[oh bother]

[ March 21, 2002, 09:15 AM: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]

[Croda]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Dear Mr Cruda,

Unfortunately for your rabidself, as a return gesture of goodwill I have BELCHED FIRE FROM MY ARSE and incinerated the poor PiZzleIVH and Tiggywiggy <BIG>YOU</BIG> had parked <BIG>ON TOP OF THE HILLS AS WELL!!</BIG>.

Accordingly, <BIG>YOU</BIG> Mr Cruda are now (2) two tanks less, thank you very much!!

Kindest regards and best of luck for your remaining <FONT COLOR = YELLOW>troppotruppen<FONT COLOR = BLACK>,

<FONT COLOR = GREEN>AussieJeff<FONT COLOR = BLACK>

<FONT COLOR = RED>SOD (Squire of Berli)<FONT COLOR = BLACK></font>

[Noba]

Originally posted by the Bard

I accuse Noba of being no true Australian, but from Cleveland, Ohio!

Oh dear. Woe is me. A song pops into my head...

MAKE IT GO AWAY !!!!

"I TOOK MY LOVE FOR WALK....DOWN BESIDE THE O-HI-O !"

Arghhhh. Olivia is back. ( We'll swap her for Britney ) Maybe.

Ok, I admit it. I am not what I seem.

But i'm not from the U-S-of-A ! Rest assured, I ain't that low on the ladder of life.

Originally quoted by the newly raised twit..

Noba old buddy,SNIP

Jeff you rat. Stop posting in colour. [Note correct spelling of 'colour' you uneducated rejects of Great Britain]. I just got new glasses and I think you ruined them. Pillock.

You sir are a disgrace. Not only do you whip my tail with an operation that I set up for a win, you do it by gamey use of American Human Wave Tactics.

Noba.

[Croda]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

The Paleontologists...cared about...Croda...

That's sweet. We in the Nefarious Legion love you too. But don't call us 'homo.' It gets the Ozzies all excited.

And by the way - Ha Ha! You live in Jersey and root for the Eagles! Ha Ha!

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by AussieJeff:

PS: Sorry bout the long URL's, but TOO BAD! SOD OFF!!

Now see that Joe? I set my squire a near impossible task and he bloody does it. While you... lose your squire AND grandsquire

[oh bother]</font>

[MrSpkr]

I find it amusing that DJ Ozzie Jeff (where's the fresh prince?) can figure out how to code in color, but can't seem to grasp the simple idea of hitting the 'URL' button in the Instant UBB Code box, entering the URL, then entering a descriptive title (like, say, the NAME of the thread in question). Sure, it might take an additional minute or two, but he's Australian; its not like he has any more interesting or useful matter at hand {insert Bauhaus joke here}.

And you APPROVE of this weak effort, Berli? You're getting soft in your ancientness.

[Patchy]

The Justiciar finds his long lost Squire Diceman...or is it the other way around?

Persephone

[Patchy]

The ÜberLizard goes out on a hot date with a crocodilette.

Persephone

[rleete]

Originally posted by Persephone:

The Justiciar finds his long lost Squire Diceman...or is it the other way around?

Now that's going to cause some nightmares...

[Patchy]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

As for the loverly and talented Allison, She has agreed to meet with me at predetermined time and space co-ordinates. I have lost my mind. She will be mine.

That is all.

Peng

And MrPeng was telling the truth...

So Peng met the loverly and talented Allison at the Karaoke bar...all he had to do was sing one duet with her and she would be...all his...

Persephone

[Leeo]

Persephone isn't merely married to Evil; She Is!

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

got a good chuckle out of the latest.

once again...glad i'm not in this batch.

[MrPeng]

HA! Obviously a doctored photo as my testimony below will show:

the first day of spring usually helps to lift the depression that winter grinds into me. but we are sorry to report that this particular Pod is so thoroughly depressedwe may never pull out of it. So many things about last night were wrong that we cannot wrap our pea brain around it all. I threw the Justicar out IN MID GAME in order to meet Dear, Sweet, Fickle, NOT SHOWING UP Allison at Squatters. That's right boys and girls, MrPeng got hosed. Dear Allison must have come to her senses (a little bit anyway) during the day with a horrified "GAH! I'm supposed to meet that thing tonight! WHAT WAS I THINKING?!", and hid in her closet mumbling to herself and chewing her nails. She will have to call out sick for the rest of the week so that she can successfully and completely avoid me. Obviously she hadn't thought the whole thing through before she decided to leave me in the lurch. So I throw the upstanding gentleworm Shaw out on his ear for the opportunity to 'score' with a young chippy (which of course I can't do anyway being attached to a spousal unit and all the duty that sort of thing carries with it) Sure, I am not above some shameless flirting and stuff, but beyond that, well...

So, I am feeling a bit damaged morally, spiritually and intestinally (waaaay too many porters consumed waiting in vain for our heroine {no, not smack you idiots, a femenine hero, yeesh!}). Tossing over the Justicar of the MBT for some cheap thrills - that never materialized - has left me in a funk. Ah what the hell, it's only Old Foul Joe right? We were in a part of our hotseat game that was rather exciting. I had just driven him out of a building he occupied with a gamey swarminghumanwave attack. It was an expensive proposition for the good guys, and he has reserves that can come in and crush what is left of my attack. I am also at a bit of a disadvantage armor-wise. The typical outcome of a Lynx vs Sherman III duel being in Joe's favor. We will fight on with gusto friday night however. Unless of course Dear Allison once again loses her mind and decides she would like to spend some time with me. Then OFJ is out on his arse - in a heartbeat.

What an utter foolishness it is to be Peng

[Lars]

Originally posted by Peng:

I threw the Justicar out IN MID GAME in order to meet Dear, Sweet, Fickle, NOT SHOWING UP Allison at Squatters.

And there lies your fatal mistake.

Shaw was out the door first and obviously took off with Dear, Sweet, Fickle, NOW WE KNOW WHERE SHE WENT Allison.

Rookie!!!

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Lars:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Peng:

I threw the Justicar out IN MID GAME in order to meet Dear, Sweet, Fickle, NOT SHOWING UP Allison at Squatters.

And there lies your fatal mistake.

Shaw was out the door first and obviously took off with Dear, Sweet, Fickle, NOW WE KNOW WHERE SHE WENT Allison.

Rookie!!!</font>

[Dweezil44]

sniffs air

Yes, this must be the right place.

Hey Berli, before you break your wrist patting your boy's back so hard, why don't you ask him when the hell he plans on adding these threads to his list:

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Peng Challenge (1/14/02)

One Flew over the Peng Challenge Thread (1/19/02)

Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread? (1/27/02)

One Peng to Rule Them All, One Peng to Challenge Them (2/2/02)

The Peng Challenge is a Dish Best Served Cold (2/11/02)

plus whatever thread ran from 2/17/02 to 2/23/02 (it seems to be missing from the archives and I haven't the inclination to track it down).

It appears your lazy squire did a quick and dirty search on the useless UBB search engine, then cut and pasted without regard to the fact he might be leaving some posts out. I mean really, did he even think about that gap from 1/8/02 to 2/23/02, or is his brainstem too immature to comprehend that might be a problem?

Lazy bastiche.

[Goanna]

I will persiflage them.

There's a word for what you are looking for and it sorta ryhmes with crud.

hee hee heeheheh. Oh I do love to see em do the dance-o-death. Do hurry back now dalem, I want sloppy seconds.

[Joe Shaw]

Drizzle00, we have many rules here in the CessPool, some good, some bad, some written, some written sometimes, some unwritten, but ONE of them is that a SSN simply MUST have at least a general location posted in his profile before we take any notice of him. As the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and, therefore, keeper of the sacred traditions, it falls to me to inform you that you are to hereby and forthwith ...

SOD OFF!

Besides, didn't you learn your lesson the LAST time you wandered in here?

Joe

[Goanna]

Let me be the first (and hopefully the last) to say nice set Jo

But don't call us 'homo.' It gets the Ozzies all excited.And by the way - Ha Ha! You live in Jersey and root for the Eagles!

What really gets us excited is how easy it is to get you yanks to root. Hell, you'll root for anything. I'm beginning to think the whole place is filled up with guys in pornstar mustaches and slutty stank hos.

[Joe Shaw]

What really gets us excited is how easy it is to get you yanks to root. Hell, you'll root for anything. I'm beginning to think the whole place is filled up with guys in pornstar mustaches and slutty stank hos.

Oh now this goes too far, really it does. Hell, you Australians root for CRICKET ... cricket for Gawd's sake! And apparently Mace is fan number one. And speaking of Mace have you checked out that photo of him on Lorak's site? And you dare to talk about guys in pornstar mustaches? Damn, now you've got me so upset I started three sentences in a row with AND! And don't get me started on the last category you mentioned ... DAMNIT that's four ...

Joe

[Dweezil44]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Drizzle00, we have many rules here in the CessPool, some good, some bad, some written, some written sometimes, some unwritten, but ONE of them is that a SSN simply MUST have at least a general location posted in his profile before we take any notice of him. As the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and, therefore, keeper of the sacred traditions, it falls to me to inform you that you are to hereby and forthwith ...

SOD OFF!

Besides, didn't you learn your lesson the LAST time you wandered in here?

Joe

Joe, you lackwit, sometimes people don't put down roots. However, in the interest of salving your previously wounded ego (good lord, we don't want the Justicar to get his mouse, errr, Panties in a wad now, do we; he pouted almost all month long in January) so it is changed, just for you.

Now, as I was saying before the keeper of the Mormon wives butted in, Berli, your squire is butt ugly and lazy. Your compliments merely reinforce these negative character traits.

Or perhaps the squire is emulating the master, hmm?

[Lars]

Originally posted by Dweezil (who was too slow to get 1-43):

*snip*

Great, just what this thread needed, another feckin minstrel…