Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: Originally posted by MrPeng (bolded because I am bowing to the inevitable, if not to the Old Ones)Careful Pondscum, you travel in dangerous waters. Fear Peng for he is the past. As all nows become thens, everything you have been and will be will belong to him in time. How do you want to be remembered when your mortal shell has turned to dust? Fear me for I am the present. I am carnage and chaos... the blood and gore you wade through on your journey to betterment. Would you find yourself laid out as carrion upon the field choaking on your own life's blood? Fear the Gnome for he is the future. He awaits in your tomorrows to twist your mind in unimaginable ways. Would you have him remember Step 2 and complete his dire plot? Heed well this warning young squire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Fear the Gnome for he is the future.Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last Seanachai of recorded time, Fear Peng for he is the past.And all our yesterdays have lighted Pengs The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Fear me for I am the present.Life's but a walking shadow, a poor Berli That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying... nothing. [With apologies to Billy S.] [ March 20, 2002, 07:18 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 I will not kneel to kiss the ground before some SSN's feet! Where do these retroactive-abortion candidates get the right to spout Shakespeare? For that matter, where do they get the right to belch fire from their arses? They are not good enough for either, leastwise this FloozieJeff who, with true Oddstralian bravado, parked all of his tanks on top of the hills to blow up the pretty houses, and is now two tanks less thank you very much Mr. Croda. If the SSNs need an author to quote, let them quote Dorosh or Rexford for Willy is far above their station. As for the loverly interlude of MrPeng, it is both a blessing and a curse to see that his return comes in his departure (how very contradictorilly Faustian). She pours him a porter and then asks to see his stout, 'tis a tale that could only be acted out in a depraved and deprived state such as Yoo-tah ('Utah, gimme two'). It is all well and fitting that MrP should return as the place hasn't felt this 'wrong' since the great schizm (see if you can find those threads, SOB, thems were some tumultuous times) or perhaps since the Thread went to Sweden, godawful place was full of Swedes. Anyway, back to the point. Hiram is a horse's ass. No, that wasn't the point at all, just a random plug for my new website www.HiramIsAHorsesAss.com Now I'm wondering if there was any point at all (don't bother quoting that line you rat-sunsabidges, it would show poor taste). Hmmm...Maybe Hiram was the point. Stoopid idjit sends me two stinking files every time. So I process both with different moves just to make him watch his men slaughtered with enough variety to keep the Gong Show in business for another 3 years. Yureeka! The point! We members of the Western World need to start staggering ourselves so that we post at all hours. The Oddstralian-Overnights are killer. Full of Aussie-jokes, and Aussie-references, posted by none other than real Aussies whose idea of a woman is the gal at the pub who can take the caps off the beer with her teeth and tie it into a knot with her tounge. Yikes! [Not Edited, but I like these cool little bracketies and I wanted to take this opporunity to note that Hiram is a wank-sodding tosser who sods wanks and then tosses.] [Ok, I did go back and edit it, but that doesn't mean I screwed up, I was just improving things.] [ March 20, 2002, 07:56 AM: Message edited by: Croda ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 I will not kneel to kiss the ground before some SSN's feet!"But as for Croda, Kneel down, kneel down, and wonder." <font size=-2>(Anthony & Cleopatra, Act 3, Scene 2)</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Fear Peng for he is the past. As all nows become thens, everything you have been and will be will belong to him in time. How do you want to be remembered when your mortal shell has turned to dust? Fear me for I am the present. I am carnage and chaos... the blood and gore you wade through on your journey to betterment. Would you find yourself laid out as carrion upon the field choaking on your own life's blood? Fear the Gnome for he is the future. He awaits in your tomorrows to twist your mind in unimaginable ways. Would you have him remember Step 2 and complete his dire plot? Heed well this warning young squireIron Paw, can’t even get your ‘Pool lore strait can you? What is it this time, your alcohol sodden brain or the senile dementia? Back in the mists of the Cesses past, the Bard once did post (and post, and post … ) on the very subject at hand: Originally posted by Seanachai: A backpacked figure makes its way through a dark and formless landscape. The terrain is completely flat, featureless, and extends away into dimness in all directions. Slowly it moves towards the only point of reference, a fire alight on the plain. As it finally draws up to it, three seated figures confront him across the low burning flames that barely illuminate the scene. On the left sits the figure of what seems an old man with long, unkempt hair, mumbling and laughing to himself. Occassionally low snatches of song and rhyme fill the air around him. The middle figure sits with arms folded, silent except for an occassional sound of angry muttering, too low to catch any meaning. An aura of judgement and indefinable loss radiates from it. The third sits completely silent, eyes glowing. It is the hardest to make out, seemingly seated amidst clouds of shifting smoke, and resonates with a feeling of evil. None of the figures are those of giants, but all seem somehow to loom over the landscape around them and the figure that comes to a stop on the far side of the fire, and waits to be noticed. The three figures remain as they are, and finally, shifting uncomfortably, the standing figure calls out. …Mercifully snipped for brevity… "I know who and what you are now!" Marlow boldly and angrily yells. "Indeed. And who, and what, are we?" "You, Old Man, are Seanachai, that they all call Senility! And that one in the middle is Peng, the Curmudgeon! And the other...the other...(gasping, suddenly weak), That's Berli. They claim he's evil!" "That is who we are, or at least what you can grasp. Those are names, and we do bear them. But they are only names. Now, who are we?" And the Dark Figure named Berli reaches out and taps Marlow on the forehead, and he goes very still. "You are Seanachai, that means Bard, but you are the Fool, and the Trickster. Peng is Judgement, and Loss. Berli is...Berli is...Berli's evil." Seanachai smiles at him. "Don't be so stupid. Berli isn't Evil. Berli is Death. You couldn't even say it, could you?" Marlow nods. "Or rather, let us say that we are the Past, the Present, and the Future. Now, do you know which is which?" "Er, Peng is the...the Past, and, and you are the Present, and...Berli is the Future?" "Don't be silly, Marlow. You have to keep all this within the context of a wargame, after all. Peng is indeed the Past, with it's judgements and losses, but Berli is the present, filled with destruction and death, and I am the Future, filled with whimsy and celebration. Aren't I always after a sing-song?" …snipped again to save valuable bandwidth… Berli: You made a good story of it. Except for that lie at the end. You know that you're the Present, and I'm their Future. Seanachai: We know that Berli, but why ruin the poor little tyke's day? And after he'd come all this way. Much nicer for them to think they had something to look forward to, like a sing-song. Now, what shall we do while we wait for them to make something of themselves? Berli: How 'bout a QB? Peng: Why not, I believe I'll win this time. This comes from the third incarnation of the MBT (hint, hint, Aussie Jeff). [ March 20, 2002, 09:23 AM: Message edited by: Marlow ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 dalem, you incompitent, incontinent, and contemptible rogue. I have created a grand winter map for our challenge. It makes that paltry Moriarty map look like handkerchief stains. I shall send it on for your approval and then we can agree on objectives and begin hostilities. I'd post a screenie but my fricket-frackin' ISP seems to not like linking to images any more. Rat-bastiges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Lars, you are still the only one with a problem around here. {I know, I know, who hasn't got a problem...?} Pondweeb is jumping above his position in life, PENG is rabbiting on under the influence of his mixed up hormones - or beer, take your pick. Berli just stuffed up good and proper..."you'll be sooorrrrrry". Seanachai is off in vacuous land again...send a turn when you get back, m'lud. Boobaby is almost getting the drivel award for the number of posts containing nothing, like his skull. At least the donkey is off on his holidays in Blackpool, blissfull silence. Now AJ, if you think that little op we are playing counts as a 'challenge'...WRONG. The only challenge that gives is how fast your boys can run. You need to issue a REAL challenge, one with spite, spittle..(sorry that's reserved for Joe). You know the idea by now. Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Marlow: Iron Paw, can't even get your 'Pool lore strait can you?...(you can bloody well scroll up and read his bleedin' post)Silly sod, that now is now then and therefore belongs to Peng. That now's future is now... now (ya followin' me?). Since now is then's future, I'm the bloody present. Furthermore, in the then now, the Gnome was not yet collecting underwear (Step One). Now (the then now's future) he is. Therefore Seanachai is now your future... until this now becomes then now and Peng has it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 And another thing Marlow, if you're going to be helping AussieJeff, don't give him this hint as it contains an imperfect Sacred First Thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Silly sod, that now is now then and therefore belongs to Peng. That now's future is now... now (ya followin' me?). Since now is then's future, I'm the bloody present. Furthermore, in the then now, the Gnome was not yet collecting underwear (Step One). Now (the then now's future) he is. Therefore Seanachai is now your future... until this now becomes then now and Peng has it again.And if that's not clear enough for you Marlow, consider that CHANGING things would mess up the scansion in my substitution of Seanachai for "syllable", Peng for "fool", and Berli for "player" (and there's a certain poetic irony in each of those, I feel). Ya can't change art. [ March 20, 2002, 11:30 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Noba: Boobaby is almost getting the drivel award for the number of posts containing nothing, like his skull. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, so very, very, very, very sorry, My Great and Gracious Lord. Never meant to offend, but being a lowly newbie fresh as a daisy from the outer boards, I was blissfully unaware of the subtle intonations of the three or four in-jokes that bounce perpetually around the 'pool and so thought to add my two cents.{NOBA can't read this}Big, sodding dork. If he thinks I prattle on now, just wait. He sure talks big for a guy who was probably conceived in the backseat of a clown car.{/NOBA can't read this} Sorry, sorry, sorry. Please forgive this slime encrusted lickspittle of a Squire. It will never happen again, of that you may rest assured! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 PONDSCUM!!! Okay, (snap!) out of the box, lad. That's it, stretch... the feeling comes back sometimes. Now, I just want to warn you that if you keep poking fingers at the Olde Ones, they might pound you into algaeic dust with large mattocks. While that would be fun and amusing, it would mean I'd be squireless, and I like having a squire around. Just remember that the Olde Ones, well... they drink a lot. And remember the box. Croda I accept your thingamahoozit. Send it along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: And another thing Marlow, if you're going to be helping AussieJeff, don't give him this hint as it contains an imperfect Sacred First Thread.Minor point of correction Your Evilness, that post points to what appears to be the second incarnation. I believe that this is the originalPeng Challenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 <font size=”-1”>So very many things to do. I barely have the time to read the verbal diarrhea I see so commonplace these days. It does sadden and sicken me to see Croda complain about getting too many turns from me when it was him who was whining that he wasn’t getting enough before. He is such a fickle Bee-otch. He probably complains that the pretty ribbons in his hair aren’t quite pretty enough compared to the Bard’s. I wonder how loudly he would complain if I only pounded the front of his head with my all purpose baseball bat. Think of all the squeaking and yelping noises he would make as I took swing after hearty swing at his over sized melon with my Loisville slugger. He would be all googly eyed and his scrawny chicken legs would give way to leave him in an ever growing pile of Croda droppings. You can almost hear the squishing noises as he twitches on the ground in the steaming pile of offal. Hmm…think of the satisfying thumping noise as my foot makes contact with his inert form. Kicking him would be so much fun. I would offer to drop the obligatory elbow from the top rope, except that he is covered in brown stinky matter because of the incontinence brought forth from major skull trauma. I would then cover him with hay and sell him by the bushel as manure. Oh, where was I? I just wanted to stop by and say that I really don’t have time to type anything. Way too busy. </font> Edited to note that when little baby Hiram was born his parents looked on with disappointment with the knowledge that the tyke would never be like Andreas because of the American Education system. He would never be bright or even good looking. His one small redeeming value would be that later on in life, he would learn how to dance like the Phillie Phanatic and thus entertain people waiting for a bus. They tried to switch Hiram with a German baby who looked like he was Japanese, but couldn’t find one in the hospital. They were simply in the wrong country. Edited once more to add some punctuation here and there. It would appear that the heart wrenching profundity of being so fallible has left me with little to look forward to except for the constant striving for mediocrity. [ March 20, 2002, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by MrPeng: We have made contact with Old Foul Joe over the phone and have been assured that an additional bottle of scotch will not be needed - at least not to appease the Justicar. So we will be satisfied with some lighter stuff. Perhaps we can convince the loverly and talentled Allison to spot us a few bottles of Polygamy Porter from behind the bar. Peng, just a friendly reminder...you promised me a picture of you giving Joe a great big smooch. Persephone [ March 20, 2002, 01:39 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by PondScum: Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Also, don't annoy the Berli. He's just taken a new Squire, and this will probably make him cranky.He gets MORE cranky?</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: What? WHAT?? You mean I have been suffering the slings and arrows of chrisl's outrageous "Tiger?"s for naught? Our joust in the fog is but a mere amusement for the fair Persephone? PondScum, I appreciate your hard work...and don't forget to bring me a photo of Wussl after you've mutilated all of his little soldier guys. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Patch I would rate the chances of getting a photo of either Peng or myself giving the other a smooch as approaching if not actually to the negative side of NIL! And don't think I don't see YOUR fine hand in the recent elevation of AussieJeff (GAWD ... that feels ... wrong ... just wrong and ... and ... BAD TOO ... excuse me, gotta go wash my hands with lye soap or something ... yuck!) Whew! Well that stung for sure but it was worth it. Anyway I think I can pretty much guess at the conversation: Patch: Berli dear heart! Berli: Yes Snookums? Patch: Berli don't you think it's about time that nice young AussieJeff was made Squire? Berli: {choking on a salted pretzel} WHAT! AussieJeff? A Squire? Dearest Heart he's ... he's Australian ... and besides the Justicar doesn't want him to be Squire. Patch: I know Ausf Angel, but I think it's time ... and you've never cared what the Justicar thought before. Berli: True, true, gorgeous glacis, but I'm not sure I like the lad either, and besides how would it look ... the EVIL ONE taking a Squire ... no, no it simply won't do, I'm sorry Side Skirt Sweetheart. Patch: Well of course, Precious Panzerschreck, if you think that's best ... OH ... did I mention that the cleaners called, they managed to get the stains out of the Knight and SSN costumes and even repaired the tears ... of course with my mind distracted by the plight of poor young AussieJeff ... {sigh} Berli: I ... I'll make the post right away, my little Bazooka Baby ... perhaps YOU could run down to the cleaners? Patch: Why Berli ... {giggle} ... Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: - a horrifying Kabuke play -I thought we had agreed that, out of respect for BTS and our good standing, we were not to post anything obscene or disgusting or offensive. Your post, Joe, is all of that, and much more besides. [ March 20, 2002, 04:03 PM: Message edited by: dalem ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Patch I would rate the chances of getting a photo of either Peng or myself giving the other a smooch as approaching if not actually to the negative side of NIL! And don't think I don't see YOUR fine hand in the recent elevation of AussieJeff (GAWD ... that feels ... wrong ... just wrong and ... and ... BAD TOO ... excuse me, gotta go wash my hands with lye soap or something ... yuck!) Whew! Well that stung for sure but it was worth it. Anyway I think I can pretty much guess at the conversation: Patch: Berli dear heart! Berli: Yes Snookums? Patch: Berli don't you think it's about time that nice young AussieJeff was made Squire? Berli: {choking on a salted pretzel} WHAT! AussieJeff? A Squire? Dearest Heart he's ... he's Australian ... and besides the Justicar doesn't want him to be Squire. Patch: I know Ausf Angel, but I think it's time ... and you've never cared what the Justicar thought before. Berli: True, true, gorgeous glacis, but I'm not sure I like the lad either, and besides how would it look ... the EVIL ONE taking a Squire ... no, no it simply won't do, I'm sorry Side Skirt Sweetheart. Patch: Well of course, Precious Panzerschreck, if you think that's best ... OH ... did I mention that the cleaners called, they managed to get the stains out of the Knight and SSN costumes and even repaired the tears ... of course with my mind distracted by the plight of poor young AussieJeff ... {sigh} Berli: I ... I'll make the post right away, my little Bazooka Baby ... perhaps YOU could run down to the cleaners? Patch: Why Berli ... {giggle} ... JoeJoe, the Evil One couldn't have been influenced to do a good deed by someone as innocent and frail as myself...by the way...the SSN costume is Berli's. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Joe, the Evil One couldn't have been influenced to do a good deed by someone as innocent and frail as myself...by the way...the SSN costume is Berli's. Persephone:eek: Joe {apologies to Peng but there ARE times when words just won't do} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Joe, the Evil One couldn't have been influenced to do a good deed by someone as innocent and frail as myself...by the way...the SSN costume is Berli's. Persephone:eek: Joe {apologies to Peng but there ARE times when words just won't do}</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 21, 2002 Share Posted March 21, 2002 Originally posted by Persephone: Yes, he can get very, very cranky. You should have seen him growling and grinding his teeth at the nurse who siphoned blood out of his arm yesterday. And he'll be at his absolute crankiest in 2 weeks when he quits smoking. Eeeek! PersephoneThat's right, almost forgot to mark the calendar: Berli beginning no-smoking attempt, time to go into hiding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted March 21, 2002 Share Posted March 21, 2002 Berli quits smoking? Yeah, that’ll happen. When I last saw him, he had to take a break from smoking a Camel to squeeze in a couple of puffs on a Marlboro. Honestly, the guy ought to do the voice of the Laramie Cigarettes spokesman in the Simpsons. OK, on to further examination of the pain of others in excruciating detail. Take dalem for instance. He is the only one of you losers sending turns today so he gets to cop it all. You know, he really wasn’t kidding when he said "I think my skills are seriously undermodelled in CMBO. After the previous movie he was gloating about the fact that an arty spotting round had taken out one of my IGs that was causing him some significant nuisance and the fact that he had overrun some of my most forward positions. So, I decided to open up and industrial sized can of Whoopass™ on all of his exposed tanks, expecting to maybe knock one off, fall back and regroup. Nothing doing. Instead my little fallschirmjagerdudes decided they’d rather just kill all four of the bastards!!! Take that you pasty skinned, bad oral hygiened, boiled chicken eating MFs! dalem is hereby awarded today’s "OW! Now that’s going to leave a mark" award. FYI: Army of Scaliness Group South accepts surrenders Monday to Friday 7 am – 5 pm AEST. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted March 21, 2002 Share Posted March 21, 2002 Originally posted by Croda: I will not kneel to kiss the ground before some SSN's feet! Where do these retroactive-abortion candidates get the right to spout Shakespeare? For that matter, where do they get the right to belch fire from their arses? They are not good enough for either, leastwise this FloozieJeff who, with true Oddstralian bravado, parked all of his tanks on top of the hills to blow up the pretty houses, and is now two tanks less thank you very much Mr. Croda. Dear Mr Cruda, Unfortunately for your rabidself, as a return gesture of goodwill I have BELCHED FIRE FROM MY ARSE and incinerated the poor PiZzleIVH and Tiggywiggy <BIG>YOU</BIG> had parked <BIG>ON TOP OF THE HILLS AS WELL!!</BIG>. Accordingly, <BIG>YOU</BIG> Mr Cruda are now (2) two tanks less, thank you very much!! Kindest regards and best of luck for your remaining <FONT COLOR = YELLOW>troppotruppen<FONT COLOR = BLACK>, <FONT COLOR = GREEN>AussieJeff<FONT COLOR = BLACK> <FONT COLOR = RED>SOD (Squire of Berli)<FONT COLOR = BLACK> [ March 20, 2002, 10:04 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts