AUSSIEJEFF Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: I am here to tell you, dear friends, this woman was a bit scary. Not many women show up in a German Brew-pub in Minneapolis in late October wearing only plunging neckline leotards and tights. And she was at least as old as the ÜberGnome........*snip* Omigawd! Seanachai, you never mentioned you had a TWIN SISTER!! (hehe, nice trick to play on Mr Peng though, all the same - the poor chappy...) AJ SOD (Serfant Of Darkness) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: You RANG Sire?As a matter of fact, I did. I have a few menial tasks that needs be done... and that requires a squire. I seem to be all out of squires at this moment, so... hide your eyes Joe I do hereby take the serf, AussieJeff for my squire Thou shalt perform... J) A Quest - You will go forth with your Green Volksturm and Attack each and every Squire currently in training. Each of battle will be initiated with a Shakespearian Taunt and regular reports shall be posted here with full bile and venom for your unworthy opponents. 24) A Task - You shall go forth and find each and every generation of the Immortal Thread and post the links in order. 6^2) A Joust - The details of this will be given when a Knight herein provides a suitable squire. Enjoy the bolding of your name by Herr Shaw for you'll get none of that from me. The only bolding I'll give a squire is the *BOOT* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: <font size="-1">Now, I have, indeed, witnessed the phenomenon of Mr Peng abroad, as it were. Peng has, in fact, the sort of off-beat, slightly vacuous 'not quite sure what's going on, where's the next round' good looks that you simply do not expect from him. But women, even young and attractive women, respond to him in a positive manner. Our waitress that night at Glueks positively leaned over, and into Peng, so as to present her charms in the most sympathetic way. And she was kind to him, and smiled, which is more than an aging drunken lecher like Peng could normally hope for. But where the fate of Peng is most clearly revealed, is with older, serious drinking women. Peng is quite right about the woman in Minneapolis. She was making a serious play to engage the attention of our favourite curmudgeon. Not that Peng noticed. It was Berli and I who pointed out 'Jesus, Peng, that woman's waving at you'. After one quick, terrified glance, Peng started gulping beer at even more than his normal rate. I am here to tell you, dear friends, this woman was a bit scary. Not many women show up in a German Brew-pub in Minneapolis in late October wearing only plunging neckline leotards and tights. And she was at least as old as the ÜberGnome, and I'm older than two of our States (Hawaii and Alaska dutifully send me birthday cards each year). Not that she didn't have a pert and very feminine build on her. The scary part was when you caught her eyes and found they were as flat and un-responsive as a slot machine, and just as calculating. Not to mention that she looked like she didn't simply come to bars, but that she was as native to them as the timberwolf is to boreal forests, and was there for pretty much the same predatory purposes. So there were Berli and I, nudging him, and saying Peng, Peng, she's waving and smiling at you, lad! And Peng, staring straight ahead and smiling at his stein, was saying 'yes, I'm sure she is, and that sort of smile is the last thing some scuba divers ever see. Shut up, you two bastards, and stop pointing at me and smiling at her. I did not come to Minneapolis to serve as some sort of human sacrifice!' How we laughed.</font>Oh my Go... er... Oh how I remember that. That woman was terrifying. She was quite enamored of our Peng. It was a true joy to see! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: <font size="-1">Omigawd! Seanachai, you never mentioned you had a TWIN SISTER!! (hehe, nice trick to play on Mr Peng though, all the same - the poor chappy...) AJ SOD (Serfant Of Darkness)</font>I assure you that she was no relative of the Gnome's. Seanachai is ugly, but he ain't THAT ugly [edited because I forgot the *BOOT*] [ March 20, 2002, 01:47 AM: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by AussieJeff: You RANG Sire?As a matter of fact, I did. I have a few menial tasks that needs be done... and that requires a squire. I seem to be all out of squires at this moment, so... hide your eyes Joe I do hereby take the serf, AussieJeff for my squire Thou shalt perform... J) A Quest - You will go forth with your Green Volksturm and Attack each and every Squire currently in training. Each of battle will be initiated with a Shakespearian Taunt and regular reports shall be posted here with full bile and venom for your unworthy opponents. 24) A Task - You shall go forth and find each and every generation of the Immortal Thread and post the links in order. 6^2) A Joust - The details of this will be given when a Knight herein provides a suitable squire. Enjoy the bolding of your name by Herr Shaw for you'll get none of that from me. The only bolding I'll give a squire is the *BOOT*</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 20, 2002 Author Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: 0Still, he's an Aussie, so what else has he got to do with his time while he's waiting for the Boozer to open, eh?Get some beer out of the fridge. That'll do until the pub opens. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Mace: <font size="-1">Get some beer out of the fridge. That'll do until the pub opens. Mace</font>Not sure I'm ready for the concept of a smart Oztralian at this point in my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by "MrPeng": chrisl aka wussl has refused to send back either of the two choices I have given him in the battle for my Name - and therefore I RECLAIM it with malice aforethough, extreme prejudice and a squeeze of lemon and a lick of salt.Peng, you drunken old sot, you do NOT get your name back that easily. The fair Persephone didn't pick me to do battle for your name so that you could just decide in one of your inebriated stupors to TAKE IT BACK. Yes, yes, chrisl responds to turns with all the speed, grace, and attendant odors of a gangrenous tree-sloth, but THAT'S THE POINT. You lost your name, and you will suffer without it while the wheels of battle grind slow and exceeding small. Especially after I've had to slog through all this feckin' fog for you, you ungrateful bastage. Your name will arrive in due course, so in the meantime stick to the bottle. I recommend more reminiscing about the Old Times, for the education of us Squires. [ March 20, 2002, 02:18 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: What the hell, is he in training to be your Squire, or a Navy Seal?!Is this an indication of the onset of alcohol induced psychosis? He's (*BOOT* Who told you to listen in on the conversations of your betters?) not in training to be my squire... he IS my squire. He is in training to become a Knight. I'm not asking him to READ all the threads, just find them and post them in order. Feel free to help him out if you are moved to do so... you are, after all, the nice one [odd... now it doesn't like html] [ March 20, 2002, 02:12 AM: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: Peng, you drunken old sot, you do NOT get your name back that easily. The fair Persephone didn't pick me to do battle for your name so that you could just decide in one of your inebriated stupors to TAKE IT BACK.Where's your (*BOOT* Oh, I'm sorry, didn't mean to *KICK* someone elses squire) Knight? I believe he needs to instruct (*BOOT* Damn! I seem to have an odd twitch) you on who you may dictate to. [oh bother] [ March 20, 2002, 02:19 AM: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen of the Big Boot: Where's your (*BOOT* Oh, I'm sorry, didn't mean to *KICK* someone elses squire) Knight? I believe he needs to instruct (*BOOT* Damn! I seem to have an odd twitch) you on who you may dictate to.Mon *OW* petite *OW* general appears to be somewhat LACKING in the instruction stakes. Or indeed the spotting-that-I-called-him-a-wimp-earlier stakes. I'm having a Squire's Night Off, as it were. [oh bother]There there. Infirmity comes to us all at some point. I can quite understand why Persephone had to look elsewhere for a Champion. [ March 20, 2002, 02:38 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: There there. Infirmity comes to us all at some point. I can quite understand why Persephone had to look elsewhere for a Champion.BOOT! BOOT! BOOT! DO YOU THINK THESE GNOME BOOTS ARE JUST FOR DANCING IN DEW CIRCLES, YOU PILLOCK, AND WADING THROUGH THE MANURE OF SQUIRE POSTS?! BOOT! BOOT! BOOT! NEVER, EVER, MENTION A LADY OF THE THREAD'S NAME IN AN INSOUCIANT MANNER AGAIN! BOOT! Also, don't annoy the Berli. He's just taken a new Squire, and this will probably make him cranky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 PONDSCUM!!!!! BOOT-BOOT-BOOT-BOOT (Never make fun of Berli - he can't help it.) It seems you are getting.... "uppity". Like when my dog, old salt that he is, somehow takes offense at me taking him to task for getting in the garbage can like an untrained pup, and actually has the balls (which he doesn't have, really) to bare his tooth at me. Seems we have a failure to communicate here. And when we have a failure to communicate, you spend a night in the box. (And I'm not talking about any 70s Penthouse Forum box either.) In you go, lad...(-shove-) Now (clang!) - you squat there (clang!) for the night {snick) and think about what you've done. Now, since this is your first offense, so to speak, I'm neither going to hoist you from the ceiling nor lower you into the swamp. But in the box you stay. ...I swear no one understands discipline anymore... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: Also, don't annoy the Berli. He's just taken a new Squire, and this will probably make him cranky.He gets MORE cranky? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 mrscum OK so what we have here is a failure to communicate. I do not NEED you to get my name back for me. S and B already did that by fiat several threads ago. my name has been mine by order of a 2/3rds majority of the olde ones for quite some time now. I just have not had a sufficient comfort level in resuming posting under it again as it was taken from me in a completely foul and uncouth manner without much effort on wussl's part, and was returned to me with even less effort and without a trace of couth by Herr Berlichtingen unt der Gnoma d'ela breviteras {also known as the underpants gnome} Seanachai. Now that wussl has TWO (2) dos zwei duo unanswered files from me I am confident that he is either far enough away not to care or somehow otherwise engaged and so who give's a rat's bunghole anyway eh? So, i strongly urge your Kanigget to take you to task for your unseemly behavior. and at the same time DEMAND from you a QB of sufficient proportions to fill a small map with enough AI chosen forces to be irritating to a badger and perhaps a river rat and field mole. DO IT NOW lad before the boot goes in again. as I am in a state of Utahness there are certain email issues which we will discuss with our remote support person in close detail on our return to the office on monday. therefore I do not anticipate being in a contidion to entertain emailish sorts of things until such time as I have returned to Pennsyltucky. *BOOT* I feel much better now. As for the loverly and talented Allison, She has agreed to meet with me at predetermined time and space co-ordinates. I have lost my mind. She will be mine. That is all. Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Also, don't annoy the Berli. He's just taken a new Squire, and this will probably make him cranky.He gets MORE cranky?</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by MrPeng (bolded because I am bowing to the inevitable, if not to the Old Ones): mrscum OK so what we have here is a failure to communicate. I do not NEED you to get my name back for me. What? WHAT?? You mean I have been suffering the slings and arrows of chrisl's outrageous "Tiger?"s for naught? Our joust in the fog is but a mere amusement for the fair Persephone? Right, I'll have you for that. Your assorted badgers, river rats and field moles shall be skinned by my random French forces, and turned into nice furs to be worn by their mistresses as they stroll down the Champs Elysee. Please to be surrendering now, so that we don't have to patch the bullet holes. A setup shall find its way to you just as soon as mon petite liege lets me out of this nassssty little box. And remember: the sooner you surrender, the more time you can spend with the lovely and talented Allison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 [Once was good, twice was too much] [ March 20, 2002, 04:17 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Also, don't annoy the Berli. He's just taken a new Squire, and this will probably make him cranky.He gets MORE cranky?</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: I do hereby take the serf, AussieJeff for my squire (Squire AussieJeff genuflects and *BOWS* to his Liege, the Noble Kanigget Berlichtingen) May I be so bold as to suggest that was a WISE choice, my Liege? Thou shalt perform... J) A Quest - You will go forth with your Green Volksturm and Attack each and every Squire currently in training. Each of battle will be initiated with a Shakespearian Taunt and regular reports shall be posted here with full bile and venom for your unworthy opponents.At this very moment I am engaged in dour battle with the forces of DonkeyKong, Sludge69, Noba's Nobbits, Larseny (MIA), the Ubergnome and Cruda. It may please you to know that I have initiated much death on their collective behalfs in these tourneys. Full details coming soon. 24) A Task - You shall go forth and find each and every generation of the Immortal Thread and post the links in order. Hell's bells! Well .............. I can only TRY! 6^2) A Joust - The details of this will be given when a Knight herein provides a suitable squire. Excellent! Joust tell me when and where..... Enjoy the bolding of your name by Herr Shaw for you'll get none of that from me. The only bolding I'll give a squire is the *BOOT*[/QB]*Ouch*! Ummm, thank you for that Sir Kanigget. You have my attention........ AussieJeff SOB (Squire Of Berli) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by MrPeng: As for the loverly and talented Allison, She has agreed to meet with me at predetermined time and space co-ordinates. Don't forget to ensure that the little spaceman has his spacesuit on. (preferably ribbed for her pleasure) This has been another Stuka public service announcement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by FlossieJeff: Now listen here, PoolFroth *BOOT* *BOOT* don't take liberties *KICK* with my bold, brave Liege just because he is undergoing the painful process of squireage *JACKBOOT*! Seems I also haven't had the pleasure of *BOOTING* your bubble butt in a byte battle yet. Seems like that time has arrived, so prepare to die-a-lot. A little something will be winging it's way to your crud-infested mailbox soon. There now, *PUNT* wasn't that cathartic?Much as I like the name PoolFroth, I do not take *BOOT*s from anyone but a knigget, and even then not if I can put a handy SSN's head in the way. I especially do not take them from some jumped-up squireling barely out of nappies. So yer on, cobber. And you would do well to remember that in order to keep our respective lieges "happy" (or at least not so astoundingly cranky that they implode into deeply embittered black holes), your green Volksturm should be attacking my brave defenders of FRANCE. Any other setups will be ridiculed and poked with sharp sticks. [PS Wait just one pernickety second here - where is the Shakespearean Taunting? I DEMAND Shakespearean Taunting] [ March 20, 2002, 05:11 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: where is the Shakespearean Taunting? I DEMAND Shakespearean Taunting] Where for art thou, boofhead PondScum? There you go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: *SNIP* [PS Wait just one pernickety second here - where is the Shakespearean Taunting? I DEMAND Shakespearean Taunting]"Nothing will come out of nothing" (that's you - though I expect the nearest you have ever come to King Lear is that supercilious leer on your countenance) And for further pointed effect, you, sir are "Ni"! AJ SOB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 20, 2002 Share Posted March 20, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: "Nothing will come out of nothing" (that's you - though I expect the nearest you have ever come to King Lear is that supercilious leer on your countenance)Hey, I worked hard on that leer. But at least you made a better effort than that from Stuka, who has apparently confused me with Romeo... which makes him the daft girly who kills herself. I fear he'll have to shave his legs before they'll let him play that part. Lay on, Macduff, and damn'd be him that first cries, "Hold, enough!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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