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Can You See The Taunt? Peng, I Challenge You To See The Taunt!

Lars

By Lars
in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

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Noba Senior Member

Noba

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Andreas:

You sodding bunch of tossers. I hope you all have a rotten Christmas, including goose-poisoning. Well, Seanachai already posts as if he has been afflicted by some vile disease of the lower intestines.

Thankyou for those kind words. Now,

SOD OFF.

Noba.

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Nidan1 Senior Member

Nidan1

Posted
Posted

I will back the campaign of Seanachai for Master of the Universe, as posted on the outerboards (a place where all the young'uns seem to be in awe of him), as long as he finds another universe to be master of. Hmmm. there is a nice red dwarf called Ipsilon Indi, about 10,000 light years from here. Has anyone on the forum figured out how to make warp drive work yet? Perhaps we could strap him to the next test launch of a North Korean super SCUD missle, I understand they can reach escape velocity now with the new Kim Chi-AIV engines.(Can any rocket grogs verify this?) If not he'll burn up on re-entry. Good for us either way.

Merry Christmas to everyone, except Panzer Leader who has stopped sending turns, and

Speedy because.....well because he's just an Aussie.

[ December 24, 2002, 06:41 AM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ]

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MrSpkr Senior Member

MrSpkr

Posted
Posted

Sigh.

Time for a reprise of an old favorite, I see.

From the vaults of time:

(with apologies to Major Livingston)

The Night Before Peng:

"T'was the night before Peng, and all through the 'Pool

Not a creature was posting, except some young fool.

The Pooler's were gathered all down by the bar

Drinking and gambling and starting to spar.

The Scum Sucking Newbies were nowhere about

Why even the Serfs had all chickened out

Then Dame YK2 sat down in the hall

And began playing cards, taking winnings from all.

Geier and Andreas were both in the house

In front of them Lurkur, behind them bauhaus

In the corner Delaney next to Persephone

They were torturing Hiram Sedai with a bee.

Boo_Radley was chewing the nails on his toes,

and Nidan1 was eating something found in his nose.

To his honor and safety we toasted that night.

Moriarty threw darts at a picture of Meeks

While Croda played hearts with Hakko Ichui.

Stuka and Iskander argued over liquor,

Herr Oberst watched shandorf get sicker and sicker

Panzer Leader was talking, though all were ignoring

His advice on defending, they found it quite boring.

When out in the swamp there arose such a clatter,

Peng sprang from the bar to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Tore open the blinds and threw up on the sash.

The moon on the muck and the grime in the air

Glistened so brightly just like Joe Shaw's hair.

When what to our wandering eyes should appear

But a Scum Sucking Newbie, his eyes wide with fear.

He said, "I am new here, would you guys like a game"

That minute I realized this boy was real lame.

More rapid than Mouse's posts his questions they came,

While he was surrounded by kniggets, here were their names:

"Hey Berli, and Lawyer and Seanachai too!

Hey jd Hey Leeo! Speedbump, who's with you?"

All around him they gathered while his knees knocked with fear.

And I could tell he was wondering why he ever came here.

The knights snarled "Here's the Rules, you young little snot!

Sound off like you have a pair even if you do not!

Challenge somebody specific, and try to be funny,

That or just shut up and give us your money."

"Stay away from politics; religion's taboo.

Color and country are out of bounds too.

Thou shalt not sound off ABOUT your small pair

Lest the wrath of the Bald One fall down on our lair"

"Keep in mind, SSN, winning isn't the goal!

Taunting's the thing that we care for, you mole.

No grogginess here, except Mike Dorosh

The official 'Pool grog, and his mannequin Josh."

"Don't challenge an Olde One or even a Knight

They probably won't waste their time on your fight.

Pick out a newbie, or maybe a Squire

Then shove his face down in the muck and the mire."

"If you entertain us, we might let you stay

But probably not, so please, be on your way.

You see we are picky about whom we despise

Especially Berli, the father of lies."

Mace stood there grimly, smelling of sheep.

The stench was so bad that Lars started to weep.

OGSF lurched toward the lad then I heard

That mad Scotsman shouting "Ye poir dumb bastarrrd!"

The newbie spoke not, but sat down to think.

After fifteen short seconds, he stood and he blinked.

And laying a finger inside of his nose,

He pulled out some green thing he wiped on his clothes.

He stared glassy-eyed at the knights all around,

And began to back up, 'til he tripped and fell down.

He had just pulled himself up from the slime and the goo

When dalem leaned in and whispered softly, "Boo!"

The newbie ran to the door with a shriek and a shout!

He flung it wide open, and then he ran out.

And as his screams in the night grew faint and soft

I yelled "Merry Christmas, you scum! Now you all can SOD OFF!"

Steve
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Lars Senior Member

Lars

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Posted
Originally posted by Nidan1:

I will back the campaign of Seanachai for Master of the Universe, as posted on the outerboards (a place where all the young'uns seem to be in awe of him), as long as he finds another universe to be master of. Hmmm. there is a nice red dwarf called Ipsilon Indi, about 10,000 light years from here. Has anyone on the forum figured out how to make warp drive work yet?

That would still be in the same universe, you pillock.

However, the idea does have some merit. Unlike most of your ideas.

Perhaps we could stuff him down a black hole.

SSN Hint Of The Day: Put coal in Christmas stockings.

Now sod off.

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Speedy Senior Member

Speedy

Posted
Posted

Well I can wait, It's 1:30 am Australian Central time, I've been home from the pub for 20 minurtes and being the bloody awful person I am I wish the whole bloody lot of you merry christmas!

Oh and Noba suck S#$t boy I beat you and that goes for Aj too yet another typical slow coach westerner.

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jdmorse Senior Member

jdmorse

Posted
Posted

Ahhh Christmas.... When the far traveling and long absent family members return to wish their sprawling and dysfunctional family Merry Christmas and the best for a new year..........

Then realize how much you really can't stand them, Uncle Joe over in the corner, eggnog on his vest telling everyone how he singly fought the Jerries in the "Big One", and that strange boy Mace ...You know Aunt Veras's son, the one that smells vaguely of lamb, over in the corner with that smirk on his face and his pants pulled high above his waist, then there is cousin Seanachai prattling on about this and that and no one is listening. And that MrSpkr Never thought he'd get out of law school, let alone find a job. Of course working at the local Deli is respectable. I am sure his parents are happy with having co-signed his student loans. Then there's Hiram they say their was some unpleasantness with him back east.....

Then there are others, people you don't even remember, or care to. And a bunch of young'ins, runnning around, shedding their clothes til only their diapers remain, tearing everything apart and

You know.... when the room starts to spin, and you have to get away outside to find some fresh air....

Those kind of family gatherings.....

Christmas for the Holidays.....

Friends, family and spiked egg nog...and to all a good night. Yet even no matter how far afield we go, or hear complaints we never call or stop by anymore, that we are just too busy to remember were our roots are....we still return, we still know that amongest it all, this is home.

Best ya all

NOW, SOD OFF!

[ December 24, 2002, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: jdmorse ]

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dalem Senior Member

dalem

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Speedy:

Oh and just to really piss off you aussies I am currently sucking on some FREE Crownies!

Hey, don't bring your kneepad alley work into the clean muck of the MBT on the eve of Loot Day.

Still and all, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to anyone whom I don't hate.

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OGSF Senior Member

OGSF

Posted
Posted

Twas tha night afore Christmas,

An' ye kin all kiss mah spotty arrrse,

Ye bastarrrds,

E'en a mouse

Thain suddainly there arose,

Sucha feckin' racket,

Tha proved AJ needs a rigged

game tae win.

Donner, und blitzen, und poxy

Uber-tanken thingen,

Rudolph wi' ye nose sae bright,

Feck off, Ah'm tryin' tae gi' some sleep.

Merry Christmas tae tha wee Lassies, an' tha raist o' ye scattered ice-weasel droppins'.

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Mace Senior Member

Mace

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Speedy:

Oh and just to really piss off you aussies I am currently sucking on some FREE Crownies!

I'm not annoyed, it's not VB. *pokes toungue out in general direction of South Australia*

It is now 6.20am, I am now strategically placed between the young 'uns and their presents. I will no doubt be killed or horrendously injured in the impending stampede.

btw, no turns today as I'll be spending most of Christmas driving (as we get thrown out of one Christmas family gathering to another)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, NONGS!

Mace

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Stalin's Organ Senior Member

Stalin's Organ

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Noba:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

Yes - that's right - yours truly - extra extraordinaire, is there at Osgiliath.

By some mistake of the director it's a bit difficult to say just exactly which of those Gondorian spearmen I am....but I know I'm one of them.

Bow down in the presence of greatness you scum and worse - your plaudits mean nothing to me - but send them on in anyway.

Oh - and Merry Christmas to you all - especially me, since unlike the rest of you I deserve it!

That's the trouble with 'bit' part actors, or worse - "extras". They lose their "bits" over nothing.

That's all we get..."Read all about it ! Lookie here, i'm a star" or..."if you rent it on DVD and freeze the movie at 1hr 35min 6 seconds - you'll see me in the top right hand corner, waving a spear" </font>

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Geier Senior Member

Geier

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

I'm not very happy about this at all.

Ah yes.

Christmas. Make sure to have one. All of you.

Now then:

Game updates:

Satan and us are having a little game and we're reminding him of why it is that he pays us to do the Really Nasty Things. There is something assuring of having Really Big Tanks equipped with Relly Big Guns slowly and methodically rolling forward obliterating everything in its way with jolly little nassty commie orcsies milling about them cutting up anything still slightly moving and throwing liquid fire on top of Assault Guns, crackle crackle. Very jolly.

Moriarty is (once again) learning how things should be done the hard way. His big tanksies are one by one turned into commie scrap metal by small heroic Men firing ping pong balls at them and the copse of woods where his little foot orcsies are being suppressed is now burning merrily. Ho Ho Ho.

Ethan is Minas Tirith and I'm the Commie Witch-King in an IS-2 rolling ever onward. He is anxiously awaiting the Assault Guns of Rohan which should appear over that hill yonder any turn now. Yes' we're recreationalists playing "Last Defence Goes East" and it's such a bore that I've even contemplated NOT dropping that smoke screen prematurely. You know of which I speak. At the very least I'm redecorating something splendidly. Gabba Gabba Hey.

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