The Peng Challenge Thread and Minnesota's Ice Holes

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Did I not implore you to hold, did I not beg that we see if he would last?

Joe

Yes, yes you did, Joe.

And, truth be told, I only did it for the imploring and begging, which was top-notch. If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't hesitate for a second. You don't get imploring and begging like that unless you've purposely set out to get it.

I remember a comedy routine involving the now gone and deeply missed Peter Cook, in which he was asked if he'd learned from his mistakes, and he replied: Oh, indeed yes! And I could repeat each and every one of them exactly!

Perhaps, Joe, it wasn't that Near-King Meeks grew bored with the Thread. Perhaps, Joe, he simply found you all unworthy of his rule. Ever considered that, eh, Joe?

Actually, that's a bit of a reach, of course. My bet is he got bored and wandered away. He is a Southerner, after all. Probably forgot what he was supposed to be ruling.

In any case, if Berli and I hadn't come up with the whole idea in the grips of a brutal ether and single-malt scotch ICQ session, we would never have been treated to the Outlaw Justicar episode, replete with endless theme song, which was entertainment for money, to be sure.

Now that you're back in from the greenwood, you aging Robin Hood, you, join me in planning some sort of new mischief. Berli crawled under the table a few days ago and hasn't been seen since.

[Seanachai]

Vadr! Where are you, Vadr, my bonny wee lamb?

I've turned my imposing, Gnomish attention on you Vadr, and yet I don't see you out here on stage, shuffling your feet, hands behind your back and hair slicked down, attempting to bear up under my scrutiny.

Foxtrot for me, lad! Juggle! Leap through hoops of fire, recite skaldic poetry, or pull a rabbit out of your arse, but get out here and do something for me.

I'm waiting, Vadr!

[Vadr]

And you are likely to continue waiting you hopeless Twit. I answer to the Justicar of the MBT and to none other, and never to the likes of you.

If it's a Jig you want, I suggest you start dancing.

Or...you could agree to a match, in which case I will gladly stomp your assets for the entertainment of all and sundry. I think this would be fitting, seeing as how your champion meeks has fled the field.

Of course, you have ever the option of Sodding Off

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Berli crawled under the table a few days ago and hasn't been seen since.

You sure you're looking in the right places?

[OGSF]

As Ah cam bah tha MBT on a March mornin',

Ah spied Seanachai tha twit an hour afore tha dawnin',

"Turrrn agin, och turrrn agin, turrn agin ah bid ye!

Af'n ye crown tha' bastarrrd Meeks, tha Justicar will heed ye!"

"Heed mae! Hing mae! Tha'll ne'er fear mae!

Ah'll crown tha' bastarrrd Meeks afore tha life leaves mae!"

As Ah cam bah tha MBT on a March mornin',

Tha' bastarrd Meeks were on tha throne

an hour afore tha dawnin'!

Crawin' an' crowin' tha Justicar were blowin',

Tha' bastarrrd Meeks were on tha throne an' hour afore tha dawnin'

Fartin' an' pootin', rooty-tooty-tootin',

Tha bastarrd Meeks wha on tha throne an' Ah didnae gi' a ****e!

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Vadr:

And you are likely to continue waiting you hopeless Twit. I answer to the Justicar of the MBT and to none other, and never to the likes of you.

If it's a Jig you want, I suggest you start dancing.

Or...you could agree to a match, in which case I will gladly stomp your assets for the entertainment of all and sundry. I think this would be fitting, seeing as how your champion meeks has fled the field.

Of course, you have ever the option of Sodding Off

This is how you speak to an Olde One of the Peng Challenge? To a founding entity?!

You un-evolved, slope-browed, prognathous, stoop shouldered flinger of your own feces!

Vadr, you fill me with a disgust that verges on pity. And you dare, dare to tell me that you answer only to House Shaw?!

So, Shaw, now we see the truth behind all your hand-wringing over the Thread! Behind your smarmy display of 'deep concern' over the Thread, and how Meeks was simply 'unfit' to be King, what we find, in fact, is something far more unsavoury!

Squires who, with brutal and casual arrogance, reply to an Olde One of the Thread that 'they answer only to the Justicar. And how many, many Knights and Squires the Justicar has had a hand in raising up! Er, that sounded a little disturbing, actually.

Let's just put it this way, Joe Shaw. Do we now see the real reason behind your sudden and dramatic concern with the declaration that we sought to proclaim a King? Is it that it ran counter to your own, deeply laid plans to, in fact, seize control of the Peng Challenge Thread by a coup de main (there's that disturbing theme, again)?!!

Is it now that we see why the Justicar has had more Squires, and more Knights raising up Squires of their own, than any other single member? Why it is, of all the lads who've passed through (a fitting image) the Peng Challenge Thread, with all the patrons possible, the only 'House' as it were, that is constantly known and proclaimed by name, is the Shavian House?

I call for an answer, Joe Shaw! Are we about to awake and find that all the entrances and exits to the Thread are controlled by thuggish Squires and Knights that answer only to you?! Squires that will give even an Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread a rough shove, and a sneering reply, and the retort "see the Justicar if you don't like it, old man"?

Now, like Lear, I shall make my way, abused and discounted, out on to the moor to contemplate amidst the storm the ingratitude of those who I laboured selflessly for, that they might have a Thread above all other threads, to make their own.

And that's King Lear, dammit, not Edward Lear, in case any of you lackwits were uncertain.

Come, Foole! Where is my Foole?! Good Foole, we are off to the blasted heath, there to let the elements make mock of these white hairs and Gnomish good looks...Oh, woe!

[ March 07, 2003, 09:35 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

...those who do not remember the past are doomed to have the same Santayana quote repeated to them for eternity.

Oh, man...I remember when that song of his, Oye Como Va came out in the 70's. Good tune, man. Good tune.

[mike the wino2]

[bad German accent] Do you want to touch my monkey? [/bad German accent]

[ March 07, 2003, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: mike the wino ]

[Moraine Sedai]

I will not buy this tobacconist.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

[Snarker]

All of you except Lt Hortlund owe me a turn.

AJ has a legitimate reason for being slow. He is.

Noba was last seen skipping his men through bong smoke and babbling something about "Town".

Ebgert might have my Uber Dead Guys at a disadvantage.

Boo also has a legitimate reason: Boo got shot!!! Get well soon.

[rleete]

That olde fart Seanachai blathers:

AND HOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO HAVE TO PULL THEIR DAMN THUMBS OUT OF THEIR ARSE, AND MAKE SOME BLOODY DAMN EFFORT, yadda, yadda...

So, the crusty, decrepit ponce finally climbs out of his self-induced pity-party long enough to post. Oh, joy. {gack, why us?}

Whatsamatta "Seany-babe"? Can't scrape together enough coin (from the public dole, no doubt) to get another bottle of ritalin? And, after numerous episodes encouraging every outerboard tosser to post in our beloved MBT, gripes that we don't entertain you enough?

Well, tough pancakes, you aged freak. YOU never fufilled your part of the bargain, as an instructive kaniggit. At least not to this poor squire, enough to make me show any loyalty. Serves you well, I say.

Then some pipsqueak pipped (or was it squeaked? It's so hard to tell these days.), and Senile-tea said: "This is how you speak to an Olde One of the Peng Challenge? To a founding entity?!" To which I add: damn right Gnome. You're lucky we don't dangle you from a noose just for the spectacle. Wouldn't even need much rope, from what I hear.

We finally get a SSN that shows some cajones, and you think it's here for your entertainment? It is a damn relief just to not have to wade through a page and a half of Aussie tripe. I side with Hiram Sedai on this one: entertain us, old man. But leave the girlscout sing-alongs back in your pedofile past, and try some wit, if you have any.

I won't be holding my breath.

Note to YK2: whining about percieved outerboard offences will get you little sympathy from this crowd, Lady of the Pool or no. After all, the MBT (long may we reign chaotic) is/was FOUNDED on French bashing. A mighty solid footing, if you ask me. Although your countymen do sometimes make it too easy. [smiley deleted to preserve traditions]

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

And that's King Lear, dammit, not Edward Lear, in case any of you lackwits were uncertain.

I thought you meant Norman Lear, and you were trying to get away from Meathead.

Well, at least I got the concept right, you know?

As to Shaw, well, Seanachai, I tried to warn you.

Just as I tried to warn you about Mouse.

Just as I tried to warn you about GF.

I will hear not your wails, given your heretofore lackadaisical attitude towards the membership of the thread.

Steve

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

Wahh! Wahhh! See how brave I am to taunt an Olde One from behind the skirts of a Shavian squire (not that there's anything wrong with that . . . )

Shut up and send me a turn, lugnut.

Steve

[ March 07, 2003, 10:40 PM: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

This is how you speak to an Olde One of the Peng Challenge? To a founding entity?!

Apparently.

And let's be honest Seanachai, lately you've been more of a founding entropy now haven't you? How's a lad to learn the proper respect for an Olde One if the Olde One isn't THERE? Berli, of course, deserves naught but the back of our hands ... all of them ... with great force. Yes, yes, we know that you found yourself in dire straights and we DO sympathize ... well, as much as we CAN sympathize ... which isn't much actually. But the point is that a liege can only teach so much. And, frankly, I'd grown too accustomed to ... to your face, you almost made the day begin, I'd grown accustomed to the tune, you'd whistle day ... ahem ... well you see my point. It was UNNECESSARY to teach respect when YOU COMMANDED RESPECT! But like Meeks Seanachai you were not here and I ... I failed in my duty as a liege to the lad.

So ... Vadr, likely lad that you are, it now becomes necessary to administer a bit of Shavian House correction.I regret the necessity lad but you must be punished ... prepare yourself lad ...

boot

There, never speak disparagingly about Seanachai again ... as far as he knows ... unless you can couch it in the proper fashion and make it SEEM a compliment, he'll never tumble.

You un-evolved, slope-browed, prognathous, stoop shouldered flinger of your own feces!

Vadr, you fill me with a disgust that verges on pity. And you dare, dare to tell me that you answer only to House Shaw?!

So, Shaw, now we see the truth behind all your hand-wringing over the Thread! Behind your smarmy display of 'deep concern' over the Thread, and how Meeks was simply 'unfit' to be King, what we find, in fact, is something far more unsavoury!

What, you've found the boxers you lost last year?

Squires who, with brutal and casual arrogance, reply to an Olde One of the Thread that 'they answer only to the Justicar. And how many, many Knights and Squires the Justicar has had a hand in raising up! Er, that sounded a little disturbing, actually.

Let's just put it this way, Joe Shaw. Do we now see the real reason behind your sudden and dramatic concern with the declaration that we sought to proclaim a King? Is it that it ran counter to your own, deeply laid plans to, in fact, seize control of the Peng Challenge Thread by a coup de main (there's that disturbing theme, again)?!!

I robustly deny that I've EVER had a plan ... of any sort, ask anyone who's ever played me.

Is it now that we see why the Justicar has had more Squires, and more Knights raising up Squires of their own, than any other single member? Why it is, of all the lads who've passed through (a fitting image) the Peng Challenge Thread, with all the patrons possible, the only 'House' as it were, that is constantly known and proclaimed by name, is the Shavian House?

Yes, well it DOES rather roll off the tongue doesn't it ... Shavian House ... say it with me now ... Shavian House ... once more for the road then eh ... Shavian House

I call for an answer, Joe Shaw! Are we about to awake and find that all the entrances and exits to the Thread are controlled by thuggish Squires and Knights that answer only to you?! Squires that will give even an Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread a rough shove, and a sneering reply, and the retort "see the Justicar if you don't like it, old man"?

Don't be silly Seanachai, it is and has ever been the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread who has stood up for you and the other Olde Ones, yes even Berli the Surly and Peng the Lost. I have NEVER denied you as you have denied me. I have never called for your removal as you have called for mine. I have never even suggested that the Olde Ones have their absolute and irrevocable power lessened ... as far as you know.

Now, like Lear, I shall make my way, abused and discounted, out on to the moor to contemplate amidst the storm the ingratitude of those who I laboured selflessly for, that they might have a Thread above all other threads, to make their own.

And that's King Lear, dammit, not Edward Lear, in case any of you lackwits were uncertain.

Come, Foole! Where is my Foole?! Good Foole, we are off to the blasted heath, there to let the elements make mock of these white hairs and Gnomish good looks...Oh, woe!

No Seanachai I've no desire to take your rightful place, for who could take the place of The Bard of the CessPool eh? It would needs be someone of demonstrated wit, someone well read with a solid sense of history and yet with that touch of the cynic about them. It would have to be someone who could post ... FOREVER ... and never tire, and yet have each post as fresh as the morning dew. Where, Seanachai, oh where could such a man be found?

But where in the world

is there in the world

A man so extroardinaire?

A question to vex even ... a King!

Joe

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

So, the crusty, decrepit ponce finally climbs out of his self-induced pity-party long enough to post. Oh, joy. {gack, why us?}

Oh witness, all, the ingratitude of Squires! See how these aged locks are abused, and derided, and general, rather lackwitted scurrilous remarks are passed upon them!

When R Leete arrived here, and Berli said: Sod the bugger, I say we kick his arse from here to coast and back, did I concur? No! I took him under tutelage, bathed him in the warmth of my countenance, and largely ignored his coming of age in the Thread of threads. Twice, I attempted to raise him up to the status of Knight. Twice, he declined the honour.

And now, this.

I go. Out into the void. I've had a quick look around the neighbourhood, and there is no 'wind-blasted heath'. So I shall wander out onto the Minnesota equivalent.

Out on to the wind-scoured ice of the frozen lakes. Out, into the white darkness, the hissing of snow particles driven across the emptiness, the soft creaking and sudden cracks of sound of the shifting ice. Out into a darkness greater than any I have ever known.

To where all foot-prints disappear. To where each soul finds an ending. To where the dark, cold waters of Minnesota's mysterious Ice Holes have their beginning, and all else stops.

But I need my bloody Foole, fer chrissake! Only a damn fool would go out on the ice at this time of year without having their trusted and loyal Foole testing the footing. Someone bring me a damn Foole!

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

But I need my bloody Foole, fer chrissake! Only a damn fool would go out on the ice at this time of year without having their trusted and loyal Foole testing the footing. Someone bring me a damn Foole!

I hear dalem lives near you. It's a Friday night -- its not like he would have any plans or anything . . .

Steve

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

So ... Vadr, likely lad that you are, it now becomes necessary to administer a bit of Shavian House correction.I regret the necessity lad but you must be punished ... prepare yourself lad ...

boot

There, never speak disparagingly about Seanachai again ... as far as he knows ... unless you can couch it in the proper fashion and make it SEEM a compliment, he'll never tumble.

Spoken like a gentleman, Shaw!

But that's not enough. Make him caper, a bit, and say something foolish.

For I am an Angry Gnome, and will not be denied!

I robustly deny that I've EVER had a plan ... of any sort, ask anyone who's ever played me.

Er, well, you've got me there. I remember that game of CMBO that we played and you rushed the VL in the fog with that HT and infantry assault. Never saw a greater act of insane desperation in all me life. Damn near worked, it was so crazy.

Don't be silly Seanachai, it is and has ever been the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread who has stood up for you and the other Olde Ones, yes even Berli the Surly and Peng the Lost. I have NEVER denied you as you have denied me. I have never called for your removal as you have called for mine. I have never even suggested that the Olde Ones have their absolute and irrevocable power lessened ... as far as you know.

Hmm, yes, I admit, you have always paid admirable lip-service to the proper regard of the Olde Ones. And I never called for your removal. Hell, I wanted to elevate you to Archbishop! If you were a bloody Anglican, you'd be all over falling down and thanking me, fer God's sake!

But where in the world

is there in the world

A man so extroardinaire?

A question to vex even ... a King!

Joe

Aha! I knew it! You are intent on seizing the Kingship, aren't you, you poxy bastard!

Oh, well, fine. I'm off for the rest of my dramatic 'Abused Gnome Wandering the Shuddering Ice Floes' scene, as soon as someone fetches me a goddamn Foole so we can indulge in witty banter and I can expound endlessly on how betrayed I am while getting in some good licks on all the sodding swine that should have rushed forward to kow-tow and place their heads below the level of my Gnomish knees. Pillocks.

Assign someone, would you Shaw? I need a sodding Foole here!

[Joe Shaw]

OH ... the calumny of it all, to take a simple line of verse and twist it, bend it, torque it for all I know, to prove some misguided, paranoid fantasy of your own.

Have I not STATED that I desire not any post but that which I have? Have I not always, ALWAYS Seanachai, stood for the traditions and history of the CessPool? A fine Justicar I'd be to throw that away and ask to made King! No, Seanachai, I STAND FOR THE CESSPOOL as always ... I shall PROTECT the CessPool, even as Cromwell protected England in it's hour of need.

But enough of that. I've about had it with your waffling Seanachai! Is it a simple foole you wish, or a bloody foole, or a damn fool or ... well you see my problem. I can find any number of fooles but you must be specific and make up your mind man.

Joe

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

OH ... the calumny of it all, to take a simple line of verse and twist it, bend it, torque it for all I know, to prove some misguided, paranoid fantasy of your own.

Have I not STATED that I desire not any post but that which I have? Have I not always, ALWAYS Seanachai, stood for the traditions and history of the CessPool? A fine Justicar I'd be to throw that away and ask to made King! No, Seanachai, I STAND FOR THE CESSPOOL as always ... I shall PROTECT the CessPool, even as Cromwell protected England in it's hour of need.

But enough of that. I've about had it with your waffling Seanachai! Is it a simple foole you wish, or a bloody foole, or a damn fool or ... well you see my problem. I can find any number of fooles but you must be specific and make up your mind man.

Joe

Don't knock paranoid fantasies, Shaw fella! I have this one where J-Lo admits she's just a middle-class celeb playing at being a latino girl from the 'hood, and asks me to sit with her naked while we watch Ben Affleck soundly pound John Ashcroft's bare buttocks with a 3" thick bit of oak inscribed with the Bill of Rights, while this duck wanders around saying 'Affleck'. I'm not completely sure what the duck bit is all about.

Great! Wonderful! You are a true and honest servant of the Peng Challenge Thread, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Now appoint me a bloody Foole for my big 'Despairing and Betrayed Gnome Wanders Over Frozen Death, Declaiming About Whatever' scene.

Aha! Appoint Vadr. Serve the bugger right. "I answer only to the Justicar indeed!" Bloody pillock.

Shaw! Justicar! Appoint Vadr to be my trusty Foole, wandering over the creaking lake ice of Minnesota while I do my 'Abused and Unappreciated Gnome' bit, and tell the sod to toe the line.

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I shall PROTECT the CessPool, even as Cromwell protected England in it's hour of need.

I hope Santayana was right.

Steve

[Moriarty]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I shall PROTECT the CessPool, even as Cromwell protected England in it's hour of need.

I hope Santayana was right.

Steve </font>

[Yeknodathon]

Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!

You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout

Till you have drench'd our steeples, drown'd the cocks!

You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,

Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,

Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,

Strike flat the thick rotundity o' the world!

Crack nature's moulds, all germens spill at once

That make ingrateful man!

*sniff* better make a note with me blackest crayon...

*sniff* keep Brussel sprouts away from Gnome

Yeknod

[ March 08, 2003, 01:47 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Moriarty:

Of course he's right ... what'd he say?

Something about history repeating itself.

I'd prefer that Joe die bitter and disillusioned. Then, three years after his death, we can dig up the corpse and hang and decapitat it. Or maybe just use it as, I don't know, a pinata or somefink.

Steve

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

the Peng Challenge is also about rampant weirdness

yes! <font size = 4>YES! </font> <font size = 7> YES!!!</font>

Tell it like it is Brother!

Weirdness!

Mace

[ March 08, 2003, 01:59 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

the Peng Challenge is also about rampant weirdness

Yes! YES! YES!!!

Tell it like it is Brother!

Weirdness!

Mace </font>