This Peng's not Challenged, He's Bleeding Demised!

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

I would like to draw everyone's attention to the post quoted above. Had time to read it? Good. Now, you will note that even including the "message edited by" line, this post lacks the characteristic Seanachai long windedness. I believe that we may take this as a sign that someone has kidnapped the little gnome and is posting in his place. <hr></blockquote>

Well, Berli, but other posts in the same series were rather longish. Also, as I posted tumpty posts in a row, the overall long-winded volume was maintained in somewhat smaller lots.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:

the kind where we all dress up as our favorite member of ABBA and dance to Clash tunes sung by Anne Murray until we puke.<hr></blockquote>

You really area simple minded git, aren't you? That combination would make anyone puke... even Phallicjeff

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>the proof is in Britney Spears. that screeching nightmare has been unleashed from the very bowels of Hell to torment us with her ample bosom and her gyrating hips - but it is not a siren's song that issues from her mouth...<hr></blockquote>

One of my better endevors

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>uh, where was I? Oh yeah. Telling the Evil One to go suck eggs. The Army of Peng is ready to slap you like a retarded Roumainian orphan child - hard and without remorse. We will slaughter you like pigs in the wilderness. Your fetid innards will be stretched and strung from fence-posts and strummed like the cat-gut on a 'cello. Your pathetic prat does not amuse us, but your agonized screams will. Send a setup you sac of chicken beaks.<hr></blockquote>

Ah, at last, we get to the meat of the matter. So, Peng, you've crawled out from under your rock. Not to worry, you'll soon be under it again... as I club you over the head with it. Setup forthcoming

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Well, Berli, but other posts in the same series were rather longish. Also, as I posted tumpty posts in a row, the overall long-winded volume was maintained in somewhat smaller lots.<hr></blockquote>

Keep it down you idiot. Shaw is going to torture Ozzies over this, so don't blow it.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

*Stolen from some "Hi, I'm a Newbie" thread*

"If you fancy a game, head over to the Antithicess thread in the general forum (its the one with the word scrotum in the title-don't ask, it's a long story, and just blame Soddball). Just remember, when you get there SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR and challenge the man of your choice"

Now isn't this just darrrrling, the outerboarders have created a clone of the MTB in some poxy alternative dimension.

I wonder if we all have Dopplegangers running around there?

Imagine that eh? A Berli that is pious and holy, a Joe Shaw that couldn't give a rat's ass about 'procedure', a Seanachai who posts one-liners about his 'thingey' or an OGSF who speaks only in the Queen's english.

Who knows, there could even be a FloppyJeff who is witty and intelligent.<hr></blockquote>

And, in response to this Little Boys Challenge Thread, read:

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

I'm a witness for the prosecution on that one, Seanachai. Hey, they just name the thread after me, doesn't mean I agree with it. Have your lawyer call my lawyer and they can do lunch.<hr></blockquote>

Has anyone taken a look at this 'other' challenge thread in the General Forum? Oh, I know we all laughed about it when they first began it, but it's even more pitiable than one can believe.

Besides shameless thefts from, and shallow mimicry of, the Mother Beautiful Thread, they're far more disgusting and to less purpose than ourselves. It's like a gang of peasants opening up their own 'gentleman's club'. And, while they decry the attitudes of the nobility, and call for an overturning of the 'Old Order', they slavishly ape the attitudes and behaviours of their betters, as they have nothing new to bring to the table.

In short, gentlemen and ladies, the Combat Mission Forum seems to have developed their own version of the House of Lords, and the House of Commons.

Oh, and I want our legal team to look into the shameless piracy of such slogans as "Sound Off Like You've Got a Pair", and other limp rip-offs from the Peng Challenge Thread. Also, get together with Grog Dorosh and see if we can't make vilifying him a proprietary activity of the Peng Challenge Thread, and then sue them for infringement of our rights.

Justicar, be so good as to peruse their idiocy and make a list of participants names, making special note of the most significant (if that term can even be applied) members. Also, make a note of any belittlements of and/or, cheesy trading on the unique identity of the Peng Challenge Thread.

The rest of you, stand by for whatever actions need to be taken. The best policy, in cases like this, of course, is to ignore the posturings of disgruntled and emotionally disturbed poseurs. But should analysis reveal that a firmer hand is needed, stand ready to apply the short, sharp shock.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

The best policy, in cases like this, of course, is to ignore the posturings of disgruntled and emotionally disturbed poseurs.<hr></blockquote>

Ah, Seanachai, I see you studied words and not history. The last time the Lords ignored the [sneer]commoners[/sneer] a chap named Cromwell came along...

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Ah, Seanachai, I see you studied words and not history. The last time the Lords ignored the [sneer]commoners[/sneer] a chap named Cromwell came along...<hr></blockquote>

Ah, Berlei, BUT ...... and this is a BIG BUTT -

M'Lords and M'ladies still won in the end, didn't they??? Not only that, but Cromwell's tanks were ultimately nicknaemd "Flamin' tin-cans" by many of those "lucky" enough to ride in 'em into battle. See, I know my history!

The Fez

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

short, sharp shock.

<hr></blockquote>

"Hey you!, Get your filthy hands off my desert"

"What'd he say?"

BOOOOoooommmmmmmm!!!

[Herr Oberst]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Computer picked forces? You cur. The last resort of those who can't be bothered to learn what various units actually do.

<hr></blockquote>

I make it a point never to learn any more than is actually needed. It saves those spare glial cells for more important matters, like sacrifice to Jaegermeister, Dalwhinnie, or Stoly Cristal.

In your case, I have reserved enough neurons to allow my finger to click the mouse, and let the AI do all my work for me.

Merely heading towards your side of the map with the pointy things facing your direction (that's a good boy, Bauhaus) should be sufficient to have your big bad Brits wondering why we didn't stop for tea while their positions are overrun, and all their big clanky things go 'splody all around them.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:

M'Lords and M'ladies still won in the end, didn't they???<hr></blockquote>

Not the ones at the time. I don't give a rat's ass (Bauhaus, No!) what my ancestors do.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>So, will we get our file tonight? I forget. Is it just a plot for me this time? if it is, I will return immediately on recpt. and will expect to see the movie TONIGHT!<hr></blockquote> Peng, Oh I am so dreadfully sorry but alass in aleck (I've never really understood that, surely Aleck would be the one in the lass, not the other way around) I received a lovely and heartwarming PERSONAL automated phone call from my friends at ATT informing me that my installation has been ... delayed. Now I KNOW that it COULDN'T have ANYTHING to do with Excite.com on account of how they told me before that it didn't and so I didn't have anything to worry about and if you can't trust ATT who CAN you trust. Sooooo, the sad truth is that I am still dial-up bound-up and so depressed over being unable to download the MPEG of the month from www.glamorousgheshiasofguam.com that I just can't think of playing CM ... but thanks for your interest.

Stuka ... see above.

Seanachai, (vii) I don't get paid enough in this miserable job to read the anti-cess thread (78.4) I'm kinda busy extracting VELD statements from Aussies and (ATTNot@Home) anyway I say we let sleeping dogs lie.

Joe

[Joe Shaw]

Goanna you geek ... nope, it's just not as good as Panzer Leader you idiot ... whoa, head rush dude ... anyway Goanna if you're back at what passes for HOME these days you told me you would send me that Operation Lizard scenario I created especially for you, remember the French, the arty, the KTs and JTs and Pillboxes Oh My! I do hope you still have that since I lost mine. If not ... you're off my Christmas list!

Joe

[Goanna]

So sorry Mr. Xia, Justicar, Pontificar and Fornicatar. In a search of my home computer scenarios folder, I am finding nothing matching the title or description of "Operation Lizard", if in fact it had that name, nor any title that strikes a chord in my mind as being the file of interest. Since it was a magnificently small an appalling piece of filth, you should have no trouble in knocking it up again in your spare time while you twiddle your thumbs waiting for ATT and watching the snow fall. Good thing we who don’t believe in Andreas don’t celebrate any holidays in December.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Berli grumbled:

I don't give a rat's ass (Bauhaus, No!) what my ancestors do.<hr></blockquote>

That, my nefarious friend, is because at that Ollie was doing his business, your ancestors were still trying to sort out a culinary use for the beet and giving their all (literally) for Ivan IV.

Now, having completed settling back in to my regular domicile, I find that I may be unable to stick to my previous pledge to finish the last of my games and wait for CMBB. (which reminds me – bauhaus pull your thumb out and Mrspkr don’t try that "I’ve lost the password" thing again or you will get more of the same from me.) I am considering another PBEM with a prompt and reliable opponent. Perhaps and Australian comrade such as Stuka who I have yet to play and humiliate, or another with Satan himself?

[Panzer Leader]

Shaw you pompous fool, (sweet...) its Alas and Alack!, as in Alackaday!which is middlish, oldish, english etc, and basically mean oy vay! oh no!or in your case "Ah, a movie turn, wonder how I did"

[Andreas]

[ 12-05-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]</p>

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

So sorry Mr. Xia, Justicar, Pontificar and Fornicatar.

<hr></blockquote>

Joe!, Joe!, did you see what he called you?

I wouldn't take that if I were you.

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

Perhaps and Australian comrade such as Stuka who I have yet to play and humiliate<hr></blockquote>

Consider your challenge accepted oh scaley one.

I do not beleive you would be so jaunty if the Lord Lorak were in the position of keeping the tome updated as I have been fairly Uber of late. Seanachai is about to die-a-lot for the second time running and Joe Shaw is feigning 'computer problems' in order to escaoe his disemboweling.

So bring it on, big boy!

(Something with lots of buildings to blow up, maybe some tanks?, no snow if you can avoid it and nighttime sucks too)

[Goanna]

Perhaps, I should have also called you something, you sad excuse for a noisy dive bomber. Did you not also read a thinly veiled challenge to your right to call yourself an Australian, or ar you still picking your way through the words?

[Lars]

I thought you were trolling around to get in on the “newbie” challenge, Stuka.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Shaw you pompous fool, (sweet...) its Alas and Alack!, as in Alackaday!which is middlish, oldish, english etc, and basically mean oy vay! oh no!or in your case "Ah, a movie turn, wonder how I did"

[Andreas]

[ 12-05-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]<hr></blockquote>Panzer Leader you idiot ... Ummmmm, 5:48 PM ... good minute man ... I didn't realize that, I am now FAR more informed than I was previously. I can't IMAGINE how I could have gone for SO LONG without realizing that my understanding of that phrase was incorrect ... what COULD I have been thinking? One would almost think I was deliberately altering the phrase for some reason but that couldn't be it. Thank You ... Panzer Leader you idiot ... {and it's LEGAL man, far out}.

Goanna I wasn't really expecting you to have it ... despite your promise to me that you would send it. I don't recall the name of the scenario but it was a Free French armored assault across a bridge over a deep gorge. I don't doubt that you've tried to forget it, all those lovely burning French tanks ... brings tears to the eye it does.

Stuka ... shut up and berate me for not sending your turn ... do your job man.

Joe

[MrPeng]

Gentleworms:

It rends our 11 chambered circulatory fluid pumping organs to relate this bit of "news" to you all:

Our feared and hated and much reveredJusticar is, in fact, a Wuss. A Coward with a capital "C", a mook a shill a pissant a {how can I say it aloud?} not returning turns person. TOO TRUE, Too true [small, wan, and forlorn font]tooooo true. [/small, wan and forlorn font]

One of the supposed heroic personages of the MBT is not worthy of his post or his standing. No matter how much he may bribe us with busty lusty stenographers of the svelt and slinky variety (the redhead with the tattoo of the cruise missle on her inner thigh was much appreciated on my recent trip to Vegas), HE IS NOT WORTHY.

Do not let his poisonous lies and prevarications about "AT&T this" and "exite.com that" and "oooh I can't process turns right now" lull you into the belief that he is anything other than a lowly worm-like garscon du piss who, while perfectly able to fill page after page of snotty drivel, claims he does not have an internet connection worthy of sending turns. I say, "if it's good enough to post, it's good enough to get yer damn turns out."

Really, I do say that.

SO! I am prepared to start procedings to STRIP (Yes, bauahaus, GET HIM!) PShaw of his Drain Comission post, and if he continues in this most cowardly of veins, to lose the Justicariate as well.

I expect a turn NOW. RIGHT NOW PShaw or it is no more bolding for you.

The Peng too formerly to think of another iteration of the Gates-slut moniker

[Stuka]

Lars, I do sometimes go for a stroll among the unwashed masses, just to brighten their day up.

I would not, however, lower myself to play any of them.

You have to keep them in their place.

[Joe Shaw]

Peng, Peng, Peng ... how could things ever have gone so far. You have lost a son, I have lost ... no wait, that's the Godfather.

Peng you cannot take from me that which was never yours to give ... The Lady of the Pool,... [angels sing] ... her arm clad in the purest shimmering cellophane, held aloft Excalibur (from ToiletKing the makers of fine toilet plungers for over 6 months) from the bosom of the water (sit DOWN Bauhaus this is a solemn moment) signifying by Divine Providence that I, Sir Joe Shaw, was to carry Excalibur.

[singing stops] That is why I am your Drain Commissioner!

You may curse me, you may flay me, but by the living GAWD that made you ... opps, sorry, Kipling no?

You threaten, you bluster, you posture and bellow like some gut shot bull mistaken for an elk on account of how they're both brownish. But do you ever simply ... ASK? Do you do me the common courtesy of just ASKING for a turn? Politely, calmly and without malice aforethought? It wounds me Peng, indeed it does, that you think so little of my service that you would use YOUR station to deprive me of that title which I hold so dear. And for what ... a simple turn, a turn not unlike the many turns I've sent you.

You sir, are unworthy of a Joe Shaw turn ... you shall have NONE ... NO TURN FOR YOU.

Joe

[Stuka]

Oh no, he's back to that again.

Might as well go put the kettle on, this could be a long night.

(if it were night here of course, which its not, but you get what I'm talking about. No Bauhaus, thats not what I meant, I know its not actually night, its a figure of speech, a figure of spe....oh, never mind. Yes it is night.)

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Peng, Peng, Peng ... how could things ever have gone so far. You have lost a son, I have lost ... no wait, that's the GreatGreatGreatGreatGodfather.

Peng, you Sir Twit, are unworthy of a Joe Shaw turn ... you shall have NONE ... NO TURN FOR YOU.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Uh oh, 'poodlians! Time to head for the ol' concrete bunker - looks like a serious RIFT in the POOLUS CONTINUUM is about to occur!! RUMBLE........BLURTTTT.......SPLUTT..TTT!...........PHHHH-H-T-T!!!!!! Awwwww ......... shoot!! What a fizzer ...... is that all??? And I thought we were all going to witness a veritable CLASH of TITANS (sic).

Instead, we see a [sneer]limp "POOF...!"[/sneer] and an afterthought [scoff]"WHIMPER....." [/scoff] .

Ho-hum ......... I guess now I can get back to whipping Hannsie into some sort of shape ... again!

The Fez

[Joe Shaw]

I have two issues to bring before the CessPool tonight.

(3) Hakko Ichiu, I TOLD YOU SO, I TOLD YOU SO! I warned you that by skimping on the rules you would bring problems to the CessPool and so you have. This FlossieJeff creature is clearly unaware that in order to progress from SSN to the (for him) exaluted status of Serf, he would have to be RECOMMENDED for that role by one of us. Had he been aware of that he might have tumbled by now to the fact that ... no one here likes him well enough to do that! Hell, even his own countrymen disown him. Actually he likely wouldn't have tumbled to that, he's awfully dense isn't he. But the point is that your rendition of the rules was terribly sub-standard and I hold you to blame.

(iiiii) Shouldn't we post, somewhere, something that details the history of the CessPool? Not everything mind, but the important things. We'd have to update it of course, but there are things that SSNs should KNOW lest they get hurt. Look at the last posting from FlossieJeff for example ... I know, I know, but I'm making a point and sometimes we have to do that which is unpleasant. In that post he suggests: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Ho-hum ......... I guess now I can get back to whipping Hannsie into some sort of shape ... again!<hr></blockquote> Now would ANYONE who has been reading the CessPool for any time at all ever use the word "whipping" in a derogatory fashion when speaking of my Grandsquire Hanns? Any of use would KNOW that Hanns, if no one else, is NOT the one to challenge when it comes to WHIPS! Just a thought.

Joe

[Goanna]

Good point Pshaw. You should wear a hat and cover it up.

If we are to have a writer of lore, it should be Lorak who will be back in a while I think.