Iskander Posted February 1, 2001 Share Posted February 1, 2001 Originally posted by OGSF: ...awful sound a cheviot makes with OffalGrabben blowing sharply into the other end... ...exercise your imaginations as to which end. SpankenFester! Nice of you -- like hell -- to knuckle under so easily for a game. I can only conclude from this that you've successfully tunneled under Strathisla's warehouses again and after drinking your fill passed out in your own filth, knowing that you deserved to be punished for behavior that in the rest of the world would be called "reprehensable", but for a Scot is called "nighttime." Your setup will go out this evening ... respond the next time you come to and wipe the haggis off your hands enough to use a keyboard. ------------------ "I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted February 1, 2001 Share Posted February 1, 2001 Notice of Auction: For tender: One bottom-of-post sig. Namely of the highly regarded stevetherat. Original bids only please. Reserve: One PBEM game of short duration. Exclusions: Peers of the realm only. No time wasters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom Posted February 1, 2001 Share Posted February 1, 2001 Originally posted by Agua Perdido: Hence, let our match be 'Water in Pants' versus 'Water on the Brain.' If I win, you pay for my dry-cleaning; if you win, I pay for your trephination. And don't try to use that gamey syntax in the battle. Agua Perdido Afraid already, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Predator: we're all headed straight for hell. Yes, you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze actually wrote (and thus provided evidence) that: The Aardvark Formerly Known as Joe Shaw managed strategically to lose the turn where I turned his Panther into a funeral pyre. When the turn was re-run, he managed to kill two of my Sherman 76s for no loss and is now in a position to put a hurting on my brave GIs. Something must be done. I think I shall write to my Congressman. Let's look at the facts shall we? (1)I know that Eathan wasn't suggesting that my computer going tits up was somehow a diabolical ploy on my part to undo the ONLY significant turn in the game ... in the first place I asked him to save the game in V1.1 and that was the turn he used so he shouldn't be blaming me ... though he probably will anyway. (2) He neglects to mention the OTHER flank on which my armor superiority is unchallenged and overwhelming (3) He neglects to mention that his 76 Shermans got potted as they did when they came roaring out of the treeline into the open ... and coincidentally into the sights of my MkIV, which, IIRC, killed both of the silly twits. YO EATHAN ... you're on defense ... you don't HAVE to attack, I HAVE to attack. I can arrange to accept your surrender on any turn of your choice. As to my other 'pool games: jd Managed to trade a Sherman 105 (his) for a halftrack (mine) ... and if his other Sherman 105 moves even a silly little millimeter HE'LL be toast TOO! Mace, despite having a three Stugs, an Sdkfz flak machine of one flavor or another and an undetermined type of AC, appears to be sweating bullets over my guys who haven't a tank to their name. At least he's not moving on my VL but is hoping desperately to eak out a victory by hanging on to the marginally larger VL. Peter in Zero and I have just started but based on my brilliant force mix and setup it's a foregone conclusion that only LUCK will prevent my gaining victory. You heard it here first. Joanna is enjoying the sights of sounds of his French armor being fried by my KTs, JT's, 240 and 120 mm mortars, minefields (opps, he doesn't know about them yet does he) and pillboxes ... it was a massively unfair scenario and I should feel really badly ... odd that I don't, I suppose. If there's anyone else ... I don't care enough to remember you. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 All right, who let mensch out of his straight jacket? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Achtung! Know ye that I give the Eighth Circle to Dame Kitty, Chevalier de l'Enfer, for her playground. So, be warned ye panders, seducers, flatterers, hypocrites, barrators and sowers of schism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Moriarty: Mystery guest: I have been challenged by someone who says he'll taunt his way into the pool after he drags the innards of what's left of my troops around the map. We'll see. I think my conscript Volksturms are up to the task, don't you, Berli? Mystery guest? That wouldn't be the chap who stole his e-mail address from Peng would it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarhead Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 SITREP (Crodaburg Vs Check6) I am advancing under the cover of artillery fire. Very little resistance encountered after breaching the outer defensive line. I have not received a turn from check 6 in a couple days, nor an e-mail to let me know he was going out of town. I have looked here for some kind of a surrender statement, but found nothing. I can only assume his SUPREME Commander has ordered him to get some honey DO projects completed. If anyone knows the whereabouts of the MISSING Check6. Please let him know his enemy is wondering. ------------------ Semper Fi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 I am afraid that i have the same problem JH. He was Being beaten soundly and my last file went out the 28th with no replies yet to inquiries. His last post on the forum was around then iirc. A mystery, soon to be declared AWOL with attendent penalties unless he gets his butt back here. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandorf Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Moriarty: Topplement complete. Lorak, if you would be so kind, please increase my loss total by 1 and increase Shandorf's win total by 1. Muchas gracias. LORAK! You get this? Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Croda: To those who thought my email was a spamming(*cough* *Kitty* *cough*) I made you mad, I made you mad. Neener neener neener. =P Kitty ------------------ Hamsters at War! Chicks With Tanks Lorak's FTX "I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka The True Blue Aussie Slang Source The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by chrisl: Oh, and Lorak- you overlooked my victory over Seanachai that was mentioned a page or so back. If you would be so kind... Sad to say, Lorak, that Chrisl, he of the unimaginative nick, did indeed defeat me. It was an Axis minor victory, but he was, in fact, a gentleman and allowed a cease-fire. I believe he might have done somewhat better, at least bettered the point spread if he'd flogged on, but he acknowledged that victory was enough, and did not insist on a surrender. Mind, both sides were pretty well shot out by the time we called this one, but he definitely had the edge. He firnly held the major VL; I couldn't have put together a corporal's guard of troops on that side of the map, let alone mounted any sort of counter-attack. I believe I could have retained control of the minor VL, although there opinions might differ. For me, the joy of this game, besides the fact that it was hard fought on both sides, was the sturdy job my troops did against his armour and armoured cars. Mind, one Pzkw IV did bog in the snow, but the others were all disposed of by my brave defenders. Of course, all my armour died as well, but that's nothing new. So give Herr Chrisl his victory, and let me just say that he was an honourable opponent, and my only regret is that I wasn't in a position to reach up and pull his still beating heart out through his arsehole. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Pedophile: As much fun as hamsters and gerbils truly are, we need to move on (yes Kitty, that's right, you heard me). Oh, ok. I'll be sure to take down my site immediately for you and delete all my hamster pictures. Perhaps I'll ask one of the moderaters here to delete all posts that contain mention of rodents, but then I guess that would mean you'd have to go too. Kitty ------------------ Hamsters at War! Chicks With Tanks Lorak's FTX "I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka The True Blue Aussie Slang Source The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Kitty: Oh, ok. I'll be sure to take down my site immediately for you and delete all my hamster pictures. Perhaps I'll ask one of the moderaters here to delete all posts that contain mention of rodents, but then I guess that would mean you'd have to go too. Time for the wombats to take over then? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Mace: Time for the wombats to take over then? Mace Hey, hows it going, Eh?. My arctic gophers are ready and itching for a fight too. Speaking of fighting, Where has Speedy disappeared too? I am usually the slow one to fire turns back, not him. No surprising, as I seem to remember that he is a snivel servant, and has lots o'time at work, while I have to work for a living (and more importantly, my monitor is visible from the office doorway, so it is hard to play without getting caught). However, it's now been three days since I sent my last turn to him, and he usually responds in about 12 hours. Is there some strange ozzie holiday I haven't heard aboot. ------------------ "With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal; In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S [This message has been edited by Roborat (edited 02-02-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Roborat: Is there some strange ozzie holiday I haven't heard aboot. Now that you mention it, he owes me a turn as well! As for an Aussie holiday!! Don't you know, everyday is an Aussie holiday!!!! Mace [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 02-02-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 OK JD, I need some legal advice. Never mind. There will be no game updates from me on this thread. There will be no taunting from me on this thread. I can no longer lend my name to such woefully inadequate drivel as I have waded through in this incarntaion of the the only thread that matters. Call me an old fuddy duddy, (no wait, cover me in honey and throw me to the lesbians instead), but it just isn't the same anymore. I know that many of you who have survived past threads are rolling your eyes and and flexing your tippity tappity typewriter fingers in anticipation of a verbal evisceration for my complaint. Go ahead. Wail. It is unlikely that I will read it. Skim it maybe, and if it looks like a I may get a chuckle out of it I may actually try to parse it in hopes of comprehending. Otherwho it's just so many more words that flash by my staring, unrecognizing, empty and uncaring eyes. Why has this thread gotten so dull? It has been done to death, that's why. The last thing to make me laugh was a single similie (NOT A GODDAM SMILEY YOU INSUFFERABLE CRETINS) written by someone that ended up in someone else's sig: "chatter like a dolphin next to the fish bucket" (maybe I shouldn't quote since I think its more of a paraphrase.) Anyway that was the last goddam thing that anyone has written that is worth a hoot or holler. There is no philosphising about it, no grand fun, no kickass tauting, just a bunch of numb-nuts spouting warmed over crap, and some kitty chick who is mostly just irritating by her incessant one liners. The goddam links in her sig are longer and a thousand times more entertaining that what she writes. Her little sheep shagging piss-boy mace and his wretched fawning are enough to gag those with weaker constitutions. I really just hate reading the crap they write. Get a thread of your own to play kicky-kissy. Then there is that crack-head mensch and his drooling foolishness. What a moron. the height of high comedy for this mook is potty jokes and references to gentalia and breasts. wahoo. Lawyer - holy mother of god but this guy has lost all touch with reality. The whole, "I'm a Warshington Lawyer, and aren't I pretty and wealthy? Doesn' that make me so cool and you so jealous?" Well, Spanky, it may have slipped your attention but the majority of the farging iceholes who post to this worthless thread are greasy foriegners (with their smelly cooking and bad hygeine and rabbit-like breeding habits), so your whole personna to them is about as enticing as, well, a goddam prissy narcissistic Washingtone lawyer. And to those of us who count ourselves as Americans, we hate you inside the beltway scum, or did you miss the last 30 years of political news coverage? We send politicians and their lawyers to that unholy dumping ground because we can't stand to have your type in our neighborhoods. We pay you to stay there because you are all so vile. I'd rather be poor and only have to look at photographs of you, than be wealthy and live next to you and so would 99% of normal humans. IShkabibble - you need work. you are not nearly mean enough. ah screw it, no one is anymore. shandorphin - berli sent me a special file, and my wife helped me get dressed and lace up my boots so I can kick your ass. File's on the way boyo. Seanachai. what can I say. you are a romantic, a dreamer, and a pathetic forgetful putz. I swear to god if you do not send that elsdorf file back to me in the next thrity seconds my inner croda is going to become my outer berli and take you home to hell. Speaking of croda, I will ignore him as I always have, and fail to mention him as I fail to mention PawBroon. It is only just and right. Lorak serves a purpose in that he has his site and does keep track, which is nice, and it seems like he has stopped posting most of that sword and sorcery crap that was boring already in 1981, so I will tread lightly on him for now. SO - i find my ramble has grown to Seanachain proportions, but without the tiresome faux celtic nonsense. It may be tiresome, but there is a distinct lack of celtic nonsense in it. Die a lot now. Peng ------------------ "I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..." Hamsters/Meeks(!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forever Babra Posted February 2, 2001 Author Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: There is no philosphising about it, no grand fun, no kickass tauting... Yeah, well, it's a fecking hobby. ------------------ When it's my turn to march up to Glory, I'm gonna have one HELL of a story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: The last thing to make me laugh was a single similie (NOT A GODDAM SMILEY YOU INSUFFERABLE CRETINS) written by someone that ended up in someone else's sig: "chatter like a dolphin next to the fish bucket" (maybe I shouldn't quote since I think its more of a paraphrase.) Anyway that was the last goddam thing that anyone has written that is worth a hoot or holler. I made Peng laugh, poo-eaters. I'd like to thank... No one. Instead I will feast on your innards in his hateful honor. I will spread unflattering rumors about you all in my waking hours and greasily paw your significant others in my dreams. Especially you, Meeks. I am a mere thrice or so of turns away from handing my sword to commander Jshandjob after a visciously gamey and thoroughly cheat-mongered thrashing. Once that distasteful task is completed I will craft a taunt for you that will hit like a ton of stinkbricks. And to top off Tuesday night's ASL fiasco, tonight I broke all the rest of my tanks' main guns. That's right; five tanks, five boxcars, five Malfunctioned Main Guns. It's enough to make me want to start smoking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: I really just hate reading the crap they write. Get a thread of your own to play kicky-kissy. Is this the typical Peng post? I've waited so long to read one, and is this all I get? I am bitterly dissapointed and left wanting! Your post is the boring lament of a bitter, twisted, lonely man, not the rib-tickling, belly slapping guffaw that was Peng at his best! Oh well! As long as we're getting under your skin and causing you some angst, I think that's a fine achievement and something that needs to be continued! Mace [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 02-02-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gimp Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Dear MrPeng, Today I'm offering you a lesson in how to avoid blowing up at people in threads named after yourself. Ready? Okay, here goes. Observe Image B. In this one, the male subject... we'll call him MrPeng... keeps reading the forum despite despising what's written in it and the people who frequent it. Notice the shallow, open eyes with tired, black rings of frustration and hate. Now please note Image A. In this one, MrPeng has wisely chosen to simply avoid reading the forum that causes him so much grief! Though you can't see it, he has a big, happy smile on his face that comes from blissful ignorance. Wouldn't you much rather be joyful, quiet A MrPeng instead of angry, mouth-frothing B MrPeng? Surely everyone else here would prefer the former. ~Gimp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: OK Peng Ah, we post in the Cesspool it's a place of sordid beauty we're a noxious vulgar crew but attentive to our duty when the taunts fly free in the Cesspool we'll be we post fifty times a day when the tauntings rather slow to our games we all go we've plenty of time play Beware! Beware! The taunts fly free! Beware! Beware! That's where we'll be! We post a hundred taunts a day! Ah, we post for Mr. Peng though he hates us all like plague rats yes we mock and lie and sing and we boast about our combats ah we laugh and taunt, and our prowess we flaunt both in the game and beyond we could rectify his frown if we'd all just go drown in the nearest sewage runoff pond Ahoy! Ahoy! At our deaths he'd smile Ahoy! Ahoy! Under murky waters vile We'd bring a smile to the face of Peng! Turn was sent before you posted, old chum. Sent it to your work address by mistake. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by Stumpy: Wouldn't you much rather be joyful, quiet A MrPeng instead of angry, mouth-frothing B MrPeng? Surely everyone else here would prefer the former. I much prefer the angry, rabid, verbally abusive Peng. The pool is getting soft, with all the new blood posting without getting a flavor for what the pool ought to be like. I had to enumerate in great detail the many ways that Peng makes me hurl on the different days of the week in order to get a game out of him (which he subsequently lost after a pretty good, but hopeless fight). Seanachai has never been much for ripping new orifices in people, though he started the thread. Hiram is usually annoyingly nice, but occasionally flashes some large bloody fangs. Meeks can give a good tongue-lashing (sit down Bauhaus!), but has trouble when it has to be restricted to PG-13/mild R. He just doesn't have the same verbal control since the paper-boy botched his lobotomy. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: As far as I can tell, nothing that ever mattered to me or anyone else. First of all I'd like to express how truly glad I am to know that I helped to irritate you so much that you'll be leaving. I like to think the numerous typos you made in your pathetically boring whine were caused by your fingers slipping off the keys because they were wet from your tears falling on your keyboard. I'm sure a more probable reason was that your fingers were sticky and encrusted with snot from the bout of obsessive nose picking/booger eating you surely engage in every night. *Peng gobbles another booger, washing it down with a sniff that produces a gargantuan flood of crying-induced snot* "WaaaahhhHHh! This thread which was once the closest thing to human contact that I had in my life, the only thing that gave me noteriety of any sort is not how I want it and . . . and . . . *distracted by an itching deep within his rectum, he reaches for the comfort his closest friend, a shiny phallic-shaped device studded with spikes that he ordered from a website called, "Poo-h toys for Daddy Bears."* Stroking his 70's G.I. Joe Astronaut beard thoughtfully, he slowly inserts its twelve inches of cold unforgiving metal into his poop chute . . . what he lovingly calls "Peng." Once proud and puckered, "Peng" now lays in ruins. Stretched and contorted by the intrusion of a thousand angry men (and a few perturbed women, mostly over the age of 75 and all wearing strap-ons), the phallus just doesn't seem to satisfy his ever-present anal craving. He tries shoving a couple fingers up along with the device but alas, there is simply too much space to occupy . . . Suddenly, all of his internal organs spill out of his gaping hole and onto the floor and he dies. THE END See ya, sissy boy. Enjoy the new signature. Kitty ------------------ Hamsters at War! Chicks With Tanks Lorak's FTX "I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka The True Blue Aussie Slang Source The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website ilovebacon.com Kitty Mail Jesus Dress Up! Jail Cam Miami Dolphins Official Team Webpage Philadelphia Flyers The McNoldy Group [This message has been edited by Kitty (edited 02-02-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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