Joe Shaw Posted June 29, 2001 Author Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Can any of you slack jawed yokels explain why you use the abrev. SSNs instead of FNGs?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh my, isn't that clever lads, look, he called us slack jawed yokels! By George THAT'S never been done before, I take back everything I said, it certainly appears that THIS SSN is as witty as any of us. Oh and look at his profile, he's going to teach us CessPoolers the fine art of the smackdown, I know I can hardly wait ... wonder when he plans to start, wouldn't do to miss the first day of class. It's done for tradition, something that someone of your age wouldn't understand. We started calling them SSNs and it just stuck, I suspect the same is true of FNG's in 'Nam. But in addition it's because we try to follow the credo: More Class, Less Crass Again, something of which you'd have no knowledge. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 It's been a week or more, so I think it is time for an update on my ever-burgeoning line-up of fights, name-calling, fisticuffs, and battle. What follows is an ordered account of who goes where, what they do when they get there, and why it came to pass. Kaniggets: These are the games that matter. At least to the old blokes to whom I send my turns. Seanachai: We are playing a Rune Scenario, "foothills", and it is great fun. I especially appreciate the two-to-five pages of pillow talk he sends with each turn. As for the battle, well, I'm playing Seanachai, so it's pretty obvious isn't it? Pawbroon: I rue the day I jokingly sent my previous sponsor this Rommel22 scenario. I have King Tigers, he has Super Pershings. He has Naval guns, I have 300 mm rockets. I have SMG companies, he has Brit Paratroopers. This game is spiraling out of gamey control. Every turn, something more uber- than last shows up on the scene. The future of this game looks dazzlingly bleak. Berli: Ugh. I am being slaughtered in the depths of the Black Forest, and no one hears my screams. I must keep my faith, for if I lose that... jd{morse}: I am contentedly watching a sizeable British force storm my painstakingly placed positions with a brazenness that is unaccounted for due to the losses he is beginning to suffer. Shandorf: My god, what is his secret?? Will I ever know? I have taken over 3/4 of the map in this Axis Assault against his Allied defense and have yet to see a SINGLE one of his units! Did he run them all off the back edge before I got there? Dave Aitkin: Another mistake on my part, I sent poor Dame an assault against a heavily fortified position. It is painful to watch, but the Dame slogs on with typical British fortitude. We all lead lives of quiet desperation Dave, but some (i.e. YOURS) are more desperate than others. Mrspkr: (How I loath listing his name up here with the honored ones.) He is dying alot, and I am keeping him from his date with the missus, so I will win. We are playing Achin's newest little gem. Well, diamond in the rough. Um, semi-precious stone. All right, its CRAP! Squires: I think I am the only one left, well except for Emma, and she doesn't even play the game, though she DOES make a quite good biscotti. I see on Lorak the Loathed's page other squires listed, but they seem more legend than reality. Scum-Sucking-Newbies: Col. Sanders: We are playing an excellent rendition of the ageless classic "Valley of Trouble", fittingly called "Valley of Trouble 2" and I think it's by Rune. This guy learned nothing from the demo, and is pressing forward through the valley. Well, actually he is TRYING to press forward but time is running out. He hasn't even taken out my pillbox yet! Parabellum: His Allied troops assault my Axis defense. In a move of ultimate gaminess, he has crawled along the ENTIRE map edge (I was wondering what he's been up to for 20 turns) and has now appeared directly behind me. Whatever... Lars: Discarding the single advantage of the defender (foxholes) Lars has conveniently bunched all his troops into the single story wooden buildings of the village. Oh good! "Arty!" Martyr: Crodaburg, enough said. There you have it. In some games I am dying alot, and in others my opponent dies alot. In a few no one is dying at all, and in at least one, we are all dying a great deal. Incidentally, it is worth noting that every SSN I have played (with the possible exception of Lars, has immediately fled the pool never to post again. Pretty good record, wouldn't ya say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Bleeet!! [ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Down Mace!! Spanker, I don't care to hear your empty threats, hollow taunts, or vacuous blathering. I simply want my turn. If you spent half the time preparing game turns as you do verbally defiling the Pool, you would wipe the floor with me. Instead, you finished our last match with but two units, the lucky recepient of my bogging. Now away with you until you are ready, not to play nice, but ready to play! The rest of you: Move along, nothing to see here, you flock (gittem Mace) of debauched sots! Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Lars: Discarding the single advantage of the defender (foxholes) Lars has conveniently bunched all his troops into the single story wooden buildings of the village. Oh good! "Arty!"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It’s called a fall back position, something I recommend you do immediately before it’s too late… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: All right, Stella's Onan, it is now clear that you are merely a teenybopper girly ho: no guy talks about his unit that much when there are no chicks around to try and impress. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Took you long enough, I suspected that from Stalins second or third post, maybe being female tuned me in sooner. If Stalin is male then he is Gay.... I'm surprised only Dalem suspected....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hangover Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: It's been a week or more, but I can't keep my God-forsaken yap shut, much like that annoying distant alcoholic uncle who likes to tell the same goddamn stories over and over every year at Christmas. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not that I dislike alcohol mind you, or even alcoholics. Just this particular, weepy, "validate-my-existance by filling the void in my soul with angry sex" kind of drunk. Reminds me too much of ex-girlfriends. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Col. Sanders: This guy ... is pressing forward through the valley... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If by "through the valley" you mean "around the town and up the right side of the hill where about 15 crewmen armed with rocks await my horribly beweaponed Iowa Farm Boys", then yes, I'm pressing "through the valley" As well as "through both Panthers", "over the entire right flank", and "up the hill to deliver a hollow-charge enema to the last significant asset you have on the field." <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> He hasn't even taken out my pillbox yet!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's because you haven't sent me a damn TURN in four days! Do you know something about this past turn that I don't? Do I have to put you on my personal blacklist of players that don't return turns when turns turn out badly? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Incidentally, it is worth noting that every SSN I have played (with the possible exception of Lars, has immediately fled the pool never to post again. Pretty good record, wouldn't ya say?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> We've all been in counseling for the psychological damage that being forced to read your bloody banal posts has caused. It's been just recently that I've come up with the mental fortitude (through group therapy and large quantities of mind-altering substances; namely, Whiskey and Beer) to actually read this drivel through to completion. I'd like to thank my God, my therapist, and Arthur Guinness for giving me that strength. [ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: Col. Sanders ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars: It’s called a fall back position, something I recommend you do immediately before it’s too late…<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Fall back? I haven't even mounted my attack yet?!?! Oh, S.O.: Ha ha, a girl just called you gay! Ow, that's gotta hurt! Sanders, YOU need to send ME a turn, idjit! [ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hangover Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Sanders, YOU need to send ME a turn, idjit!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The last mail in my inbox from you states and I quote: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Polish Sausage wrote: Hey, how about in honour of our game you go post on the new Peng Challenge thread I just started? PLEE<Addt'l E's ommitted>EASSE??? File back in a bit<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I still have no turn in my grubby little paws. And I see that you can't even spell 'honor' like every decent, Red-Blooded 'Merikin did in the first grade. So, not only has your squireship to The French destroyed your ability to comprehend the English language, your squireship to He of Infinite Prose has instilled in you his own pseudo-British modes of speech. I pity you, even as loathing fills my heart. [ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: Col. Sanders ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terence: Icky! Double icky!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I may hate you Terence, but I admire your taste in satire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: Took you long enough, I suspected that from Stalins second or third post, maybe being female tuned me in sooner. If Stalin is male then he is Gay.... I'm surprised only Dalem suspected.......<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, kind of like a fly buzzing around I was able to ignore the posts until they flew up my nose. Then I had to take notice. But thanks for backing me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem But thanks for backing me up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I wouldn't take too much notice of what I think Dalem... Cos I also think PL is indeed Seanachiacoochiecoo, and Col Sanders is my own fair PawBroon....I'm pretty sure Croda and Meeks are in here somewhere as well.. And not forgetting PENG, He is also........ Awwwww ****.... Time for my medication now...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: Took you long enough, I suspected that from Stalins second or third post, maybe being female tuned me in sooner. If Stalin is male then he is Gay.... I'm surprised only Dalem suspected.......<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My dear Emma, To suspect, one must first read his posts... which I do not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: I wouldn't take too much notice of what I think Dalem... Cos I also think PL is indeed Seanachiacoochiecoo, and Col Sanders is my own fair PawBroon....I'm pretty sure Croda and Meeks are in here somewhere as well.. And not forgetting PENG, He is also........ Awwwww ****.... Time for my medication now......<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I thought panties was Meeks and got rapped on the knuckles. After that I learned to not do so much thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Johnson-- Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 Don't ya just hate that when you spend 3 days bitching and moaning about your PBEM enemy for not sending his file, only to find out later your the one at fault because you forgot to put the attachment on you email. May the Evil eye look upon you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: My dear Emma, To suspect, one must first read his posts... which I do not.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hence the medication...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX [ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst 'cause UBB and IMAGES are a pain in the arse and scum-sucking newbie Johnson ain't worth the effort.] [ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: I may hate you Terence, but I admire your taste in satire.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thanks. If you're going to steal, steal from the best. I hate you too, dalem and am impressed you caught the reference. (sings): An Elven King there was of old Saranrap by name He slew the Narcs at Mellowmarsh And Sorhead's host did tame. With him marched the stubby dwarves Drafted from their mines But when the fearsome battle raged They hid behind the lines. (collapses, howling with laughter) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Johnson-- Posted June 29, 2001 Share Posted June 29, 2001 XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Hugs and Kisses Herr Obeast :eek: :cool: :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hangover Posted June 30, 2001 Share Posted June 30, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: Cos I also think ... Col Sanders is my own fair PawBroon....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why yes I am, and the weather is lovely here in Boston... uh, France. Yeah, Boston, France. In Alsace. Right near the ocean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 30, 2001 Share Posted June 30, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terence: Thanks. If you're going to steal, steal from the best. I hate you too, dalem and am impressed you caught the reference. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Queer 'n disturbin'. Five-eleven's your height, one-ninety your weight You cash in your chips around page eighty-eight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 30, 2001 Share Posted June 30, 2001 Pox vobiscum. May you eat three balanced meals a day and have healthful, regular bowel movements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Wildman Posted June 30, 2001 Share Posted June 30, 2001 I have decided to skip this particular incarnation of the MUTHA BEAUTIFUL THREAD as it if filled with SSN's, teenagers who haven't seen anything but there own Organ, and in general inane tripe. Although the rules were posted in a most informative and succint manner, apparently the youth's abilty to read these days is slipping. I shall see you when we're in our new digs. You pathetic baby girly-men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted June 30, 2001 Share Posted June 30, 2001 Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted June 30, 2001 Share Posted June 30, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Col. Sanders: ...Whiskey and Beer...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ummmm... what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted June 30, 2001 Share Posted June 30, 2001 WARNING! WARNING!! POD posting ahead!!! Avert your eyes lest... SSN's become a pillar of salt, and Squires are driven to make moon-eyes at bauhaus.... SAVE US! Then again...this is not such a bad thing... [edited just slightly 'cause Peng is about to post that I lost to him; since it was a scenario of the damned by Berli there is no shame in this, just another 100,000 years in Purgatory or 25.4 years in Hell (six minutes if accompanyed by an SSN)] [ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: Iskander ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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