If Peng Challenges No One In The Forest, Will He Still Lose?

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

These two must be forced to play one another.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As long as they Shut up and/or Sod off I don't care what they do.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

These two must be forced to play one another. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yawn.........how original........didn't panties suggest somethign liek that a thread or two back?

Whay, you ain't got what it takes to do the job yourself??

[PeterNZer]

Every day I wade through this dungpile of humanity and regret wholeheartedly that BAUHAUS was the only regular I bitchslapped to hell and back. Perhaps ...

[Stalin's Organ]

Oh dear, Stukie wants me to shut up or go away.....ooooerrr...

Panzie wants me to play some johnson or other....

Mrs Squeaker thinks I'm being too rude for the thread.....

Is there a pattern here I hear you ask?

Yeah, the mewling of inbred navel lint!

OJ you three - you all want me gone, or something....here's the deal - one time offer only....time to put up or shut up.......

There's a QB in the mail to each of you - the same one for each, so you can all plot and scheme together if you feel like it. You get to assault me......it'll probably hurt about as much as being tickled with a feather duster, but never mind.......if any 2 of you can beat me I'll shut up and shove off.

And if you can't....well I'll get to make a couple of snide remarks won't I!

You guys get to be the Whermacht in late December 1944, about to roll over the front lines of Green Americans in the Ardennes. You get "regular" morale, and can take any force, but you get an "Armour" mix. I'll defend with an "infantry" mix. 2000pts, medium map. Dawn, random weather.

Think you can manage it??

Now if it's a bit too hard for you and you'd rather not well that's OK - just let me know and I'll broadcast it all over the thread immediately - no problem at all...you know how it goes I'm sure.

[Mr. Johnson--]

here, here!

The Prince of Aotearoa, Stalin's Organ warming to this fight with the mother f---er, PanzerLeader, gripped his sholder and laid about him in a battle frenzy: he pitched his killer opponent to the floorbut he rose quikly and retaliated,grappled him tightly in his grim embrace. The sure-footed fighter felt daunted,the strongest of warriors stumbled and fell.So he pounced upon him and pulled out a broad, whetted knife: now PanzerLeader would avenge his only child MrSpkr. But the mesh of chain-mail on Stalin's Organ's shoulder shielded his life, turned the edge and tip of the blade. The son of Toa would surely have perished and the poolers lost their warrior under the wide earth had the stong links and locks of his war-gear not helped to save him: Holy Steve decided the victory. It was easy for the lord, the ruler of heaven, to redress the balance once Stalin's Organ got back on his feet.

[Mace]

..bite their heads off,

suck their guts out,

throw their skins away.

That's how I got so big and strong,

I eat worms ev..er..y day!

Mace

[Stalin's Organ]

[uPDATE]

Stukie has, grudgingly, deigned to "look at the map" - he takes his duties to the pool seriously does this boy!![/uPDATE]

[rune]

{In the darkness that surrounds the Cesspool, a hidden trapdoor who hinges have not seen oil since the beginning of time opens. Out steps a mysterious figure, in robes, clutching THE scroll of NDA. The pool goes silent as one of the elders of the pool approaches the remains of some SSN, now used as a podium. He opens the scroll of NDA and begins to speak, in a deep voice not heard from in many a peng threads}

"Low life pond scum, who are not worthy to join the pool have been mouthing off much lately. I, as elder spokesman with the scroll of NDA have a solution. While plotting evilness for both a tournament AND preparing to unlease further evilness in a sequel that the NDA allows me not to name, I have prepared one of the most foul, huge, and evil scenarios to date. This evilness weights in at 11000 points, and is an historical battle, called "In the Shadow", featuring the battle of the town of Overloon. Why do I bring this to light? What other way to get two gits...er...newbies to SHUT UP while playing a battle that will take them years to complete.

Now, most newbies fall over dead at the mere mention of a Rune Scenario. If that be the case here...GOOD. Then Bauhaus may have the leftover pickings. (Yes Bauhaus, you may arise). What say the Knights of the Mutha Beautiful thread? I await your reply in the dungeon...i must finish an evil even greater then this for THE sequel"

{The Cloaked Figure turns...and slowly heads back to the hidden trap door. Before he enters he turns and speaks}

"If the sorry excuses that even make SSNs look good decide to take a pass, I will cast a spell banning them to Mace's home, dressed as Sheep."

{With a flash the figure disappears, and the trap door closes on its own with a heavy THUD}

[Panzer Leader]

Katyusha, I would first like to congratulate you on the completion of your first full length paragraph here in the cess. Though with the added length your level of wit seemed to drop discernably, it gives us all hope that one day you might be able to combine your sit-com humour with your new-found ability to write complete thoughts. ((Okay, we are not exactly hopeful of this, but it seems to make the best out of a bad situation))

I am sorry to say that I will not be able to accept your sorry-ass request for a game at this time, due to (among other more important things that you need not be concerned with) the fact that the "pair" you used to sound off with was actually a pair of seedless grapes, or so it seemed with all the mewling, deal-making and foot-scraping. The other reason is that I am tired of being the catch-all for SSN's around here, having accumulated a belt with the heads of at least 4 of them so far.

That said, I am glad Sir Stuka has accepted your challenge. I have often found his posts so arcane and - well - OUT THERE, that a battle with you might actually whip him back into reality, much like that of a a slap to a screaming girl.

I DID however, like the suggestion by the esteemed whoever about having the two phallic symbols fight each other. Mr. Little John is definitely in need of instruction. Where Lenin's Twig knows and willfully ignores the rules of the cess (a respectable policy) MrJhnsn just doesn't have a clue. He seems to be under the impression that we all stand around giggling at each other while we fart.

This is simply not the case. While a hearty fog-horn Leg-horn is always good for a guffaw or two, your moist little burblings are more a cause for "ewwww..." than anything approaching funny. Please see a doctor or at least leave this place now.

BTS! Fix of do sometink!

((Updates to follow shortly))

[Mace]

Oh evil one (that's the Rune evil one, not the Berli evil one. You know, evil has so many guises, it's so easy to get them confused. Take my boss, evil incarnate! Why just the other ... oh, but I digress) send me this most abominable piece of CM corruption, so that it may stain the very essence of my soul!

Mace

[Mark IV]

The stalin unit seems highly confused. I am not Panzer anybody. I did not order it to play Panzer anybody.

The concept is Stalin's Organ vs. Mr. Johnson until both are dead, or at least mute. At this point I am liking Mr. Johnson's chances very much indeed, due to someone's inability to grasp simple angliskii. The rune thing seems perfect, and may cause their monitors to explode, an added benefit.

[Panzer Leader]

Marky Mark what the "Organ" is referring to is that I suggested last weeks that we store him in one of the wings until another new SSN comes along, then having starved the "organ" we sic him on the unsuspecting newbie like a wild dog. We could then all gather around and watch having a rollicking good time.

I like the idea, and I like the slogging pain of trying to schedule an 11,000 point abomination. Ah yes, it will give them the strategic mind to plan out routes of advance, march orders, refueling stations, ammo supply dumps, fire gaurd. I bet the thing weighs in at at least 90 turns. That'll shut'em up for sure! Their fingertips will bleed with the pain of this battle.

Personally, I am in agreement with my kanigget Fistandantalus who would rather bomb his own troops for "administrative" purposes than slog through the pain of giving orders to every single medic, chaplain, commisar, refugee, and tank.

So, in short, Give the two johnson's the Rune abomination.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Marky Mark what the "Organ" is referring to is...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am dismayed that you have chosen to address me personally. However:

The unit in question has sent me some abomination of a setup. The turn is entitled "Stalin-vs-Panzer001". Therefore, it is confused and stupid, whereas YOU are merely wrong. This time. Now excuse me while I have my Inbox scrubbed with Lysol.

[Panzer Leader]

Egads!, Please, in all that is holy DO NOT forward that piece of filth to me. He has barraged me with set-ups before, all of which I have deleted without opening. I hope this does not mark a new round of pathetic attempts to "play" me.

And, sir Mark Ivy thanks for the heads up!

[Lars]

Hmm, Stalin’s Organ, Mr. Johnson. Why does the phrase “piss boys” come to mind?

No, that would be a step up in life for them, they belong in the bucket.

[Terence]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Hmm, Stalin’s Organ, Mr. Johnson. Why does the phrase “piss boys” come to mind?

No, that would be a step up in life for them, they belong in the bucket.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Still, an obedient troop of well trained piss boys can play a useful role.

SOMEONE has to grovel and toady, and be ready to scuttle out for a double cappucino or kick some effete snob in the pills on command.

Not that I would trust either of these tail-wagging idiots with a burnt-out match.

[ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: Terence ]

[MrSpkr]

Now this is amusing. Two SSNs (you know who you are!) looking down their noses and pooh-poohing another pair of SSNs. Sort of like Adolph Hitler and Heinrich Himmler lecturing Josef Stalin and Mao on human rights.

Mr. Organ - I received your, setup, in the mail. I have deleted it just as quickly. Although you are currently on my [ignore] list, I will, this once, deign to address your pathetic attempt to get a Pool game.

As a knight of the pool, I don't waste my time playing SSN's - I put up with that crap as a squire. Someday, perhaps, you will be a squire of the pool and I MIGHT consider a match with you (and you MIGHT see winged porcine in the near future).

However, you simply must learn to follow the rules, such as they are.

(1) GO AWAY!

Need I say more? Strike One!

(9c) SOUND OFF LIKE YOU GOT A PAIR!

Not about your pair, - oh wait, we have covered this, haven't we? Your "challenge" (and I use that word loosely) was more of a pathetic attempt at extortion. "Play me or I won't go away!" Please. I care not whether you stay or go. I DO care if you bring down the wrath of the Bald One on our heads because you lack the ability to temper your words. Strike Two!

(IV.1) And say, don't expect to get anything but sneers from one of the Knights of the CessPool, we are far too important to play a game of CM with YOU ... SSN that you are. But if you do it right, you might get one of us to sic a Squire on you for the fun of it.

Well, partial credit here - you only selected TWO knights and ONE squire in your group adventure post. However, there is a reason for this rule - WE DON'T LIKE YOU AND DON'T CARE TO WASTE TIME PLAYING A MATCH WITH YOU! Understand? Geez - you even riled up Mouse and got him posting three times a page again (and just when I thought my Exorcism had been working so well - back to the drawing board). But, challenging Mouse was a partially correct answer, so I will give you partial credit. Foul Ball!

(A.3©) Choose someone specific

Not a group. Not the pool as a whole. Not every Peng, mensch or Berli you can squeeze into your post, but a specific individual. Again, you failed (big surprise). Strike Three! YER OUT!

Now, until you somehow manage to drag yourself up to Squire,

[ignore]Stalin's Organ

[ 06-30-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Terence]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Now this is amusing. Two SSNs (you know who you are!) looking down their noses and pooh-poohing another pair of SSNs. Sort of like Adolph Hitler and Heinrich Himmler lecturing Josef Stalin and Mao on human rights.

[ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shaddap, Squeaker, you ham. Even a poteen-swilling shoneen yanked from the bog shows more sense than you.

Everyone in this pathetic little realm has replaced their personality with a bundle of neuroses and slags everyone off all the time, from the Knights on down.

So it was good and proper for you to belittle me, utterly normal and just as proper for me to attack you, and even more normal and correct for me to savage someone else.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Geez - you even riled up Mouse and got him posting three times a page again (and just when I thought my Exorcism had been working so well - back to the drawing board). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

MrSpnKr[, before you go spending all of your time on a new saga, send me my turn you GIT!

The rest of you bend over and cough! Bauhaus gittem!

Speedbump

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I see no down-side to this proposal and move it and their immediate execution. All opposed, please lay your head(s) on the block.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Alas, the "down-side" is that we will be infested with them for who knows how long. I personally like the approach of MrSpkr and believe that, with time, ignoring them CAN work.

However, having opened a can of worms (well done Mark IV ... you idiot) and knowing that the only way to re-can them is to find a bigger can, perhaps having them play each other for the privilege of becoming a Serf is a reasonable exercise. It goes without saying that ANY Knight or Squire of the CessPool who agrees to play either of them at this point is a fool (that was a hint Stuka, let's not give these clowns any more credit than they deserve ... failing that and if you INSIST on playing one of them, I have a lovely scenario for you to use called Jabo!)

Frankly I can't stand either of these children with their sophmoric handles and witless posts but then I despise and loath everyone else here as well so ...

Joe

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Johnson-<THC>-:

ummm, hi.

ummm, I was just wondering if any of you cesspoolers are not too busy for a game?

Because if so, I might be interested in battle if thats are right with you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROFLMAO! What can I say, I had a weak moment and he made me laugh.

And in that brief moment, I entertained a thought on that post...

"Audacious wretch or stupid SSN? Time will tell."

[ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terence:

Not that I would trust either of these tail-wagging idiots with a burnt-out match.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that's kind of an insult to Moxie and Pepsi, don't you think?

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

MrSpnKr[, before you go spending all of your time on a new saga, send me my turn you GIT!

The rest of you bend over and cough! Bauhaus gittem!

Speedbump<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Speedbump, please don't be concerned that a new novella will diminish the amount of time I spend crushing your pathetic hide under my boot.

My strategy for PBEM's against you is consistent, though dull and repetitive (much like your personality) - click and drag until all my men are selected, then mass-order everyone to move forward. Hit [GO]. Fast forward through movies. Repeat as necessary until Speedbump autosurrenders.

Really - that doesn't take all that much time and has proven extremely effective in crushing your forces the last two games we played, so I see no need to change.

[ 06-29-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Mr. Johnson--]

Muhahahah, I know I would get you guys with that one. Herr Oberst I think you should send me a six pack for making your life just a little more livable.

Can any of you slack jawed yokels explain why you use the abrev. SSNs instead of FNGs?

[Terence]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Now that's kind of an insult to Moxie and Pepsi, don't you think?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Icky! Double icky!!!