If Peng Challenges No One In The Forest, Will He Still Lose?

[Joe Shaw]

The time has come, children of the CessPool, to begin again that which never ends, to start the thread that started it all and to proclaim to One And All ... THIS IS THE MUTHA BEAUTIFUL THREAD, THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD, THE ONE THE TRUE CESSPOOL.

Let all Scum Sucking Newbies (SSN) NOT gather near and pay heed, let them instead slink back to whatever fell corner of the outer board they inhabited and STAY THERE. These are the RULES of the CESSPOOL ... violate them at your peril:

1. Go Away

2. If in doubt as to the meaning of Rule #1, then ... Go Away ... the fact is that we like those who dwell within ... well, LIKE is probably a bit strong but at least we're used to them and we're NOT used to you and don't WANT to be.

3. Since MOST SSNs are too stupid to understand Rules #1 & 2, we have created a process by which you MAY (note the word MAY, as in PERHAPS) be allowed to join us ... one way or another, said procedure follows:

4. Sound off like ya got a pair! None of this namby pamby, "Oh please fellows, may I have a game perchance, it would be ever so jolly to play a CessPooler." Damn right it would be "jolly" but you're not going to get a game THAT way. This is a place for insults, bile, threats, taunts and general mayhem.

5. DON'T Sound off ABOUT your pair. While we are vile, vicious, underhanded and without scruples ... we're polite about it ... in our own way. No racial, sexual, religious or political crusades here.

6. Pick someone specific and challenge them to a game. BE SURE TO REFERENCE Rule #4 above. And say, don't expect to get anything but sneers from one of the Knights of the CessPool, we are far too important to play a game of CM with YOU ... SSN that you are. But if you do it right, you might get one of us to sic a Squire on you for the fun of it.

7. We DON'T give a fig if you're any good at CM or not. The game is the vehicle that allows us to taunt and trash the others here, other than that it's unimportant.

8. IF you do the above properly, show a little moxie, show a GOOD DEAL OF WIT and seem as if you MIGHT fit in ... we MIGHT consider making you a Serf. After that some Knight down on his luck might take pity upon you and make you a Squire. After sufficient time and proof of your ability to play with the big boys you COULD be made that grandest of all creatures ... A Knight of the CessPool ... yeah right like THAT'LL ever happen to you.

Better you should just go away now.

Sir Joe Shaw, Knight of the CessPool

[Seanachai]

This will be a very orderly transition. I think we should use my suggested title next time. It'll drive the Outer Boards wild with loathing.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Mace

...I hate you lots and lots.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

First discarded like an old, chewed up rubber mouse that the cat's lost interest in, and now hated, it's just been one of those weeks (as per normal)!

*Sigh*

Oh well!

In my dispair, let's have a bit of a sing-a-long shall we:

Nobody likes me,

everybody hates me,

Guess I'll go eat worms,

Long, thin, slimy ones;

Short, fat, juicy ones,

Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

Down goes the first one,

down goes the second one,

Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Up comes the first one,

up comes the second one,

Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Worm donations accepted!

Thankewe.

Mace

[Stuka]

Only if someone gives me a piece of halibut that is good enough for Jehovah

Well done Sir Dalem, you are truely an entity of learning.

Hark all ye to the 'Life of Brian' and educate yourselves to the ways of Python.

Oh, and Stalin,Sod off!

[Stalin's Organ]

I'm feeling charitable just now, so here's my offering to the poor:

Long thin slimey ones

slip down easily

short fat fuzzy ones don't.

Short fat fuzzy ones

stick to your teeth

and the juice goes "slurp"

down your throat."

[Mace]

I thought we more owed homage to Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

Mace

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

I'm feeling charitable just now, so here's my offering to the poor:

Long thin slimey ones

slip down easily

short fat fuzzy ones don't.

Short fat fuzzy ones

stick to your teeth

and the juice goes "slurp"

down your throat."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Obscene, or merely crass? You be the judge.

Stalin's ORgan, I can see by the frequency of your banal posts that you feel threatened by the level of odium Panzer Leader receives and are trying to break his record.

At this pace you will succeed.

[Iskander]

Whilst on the one hand I'd like to say, Shawnslameeye, that your Thread title did have much to commend itself, I'd much rather point out that you are a beer-spilling, downstair-falling, back-wrenching, tripe-quoting pud that were you ever even able to find you ass with both hands, you wouldn't even be up to pinning his tail back on! FEH and a thousand FEHS upon you!

'Sides that... since I'm here early, I'm gonna unpack my booze over there. Pshaw, see to it that when your LSD buds come boiling out of their Celestial Rooms from trying to ring up their ancestors, that they keep their polygamizing hands off! They can stand at the other end of the keep and pretend they're not drinking coffee.

Loser... er, Lars: stop making updates. They're lame, you're an idiot and we don't care.

[ 06-28-2001: Message edited by: Iskander ]

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Oh, and Stalin,Sod off!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nah. Won't.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Obscene, or merely crass? You be the judge.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Either is acceptable.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Stalin's ORgan, I can see by the frequency of your banal posts that you feel threatened by the level of odium Panzer Leader receives and are trying to break his record.

At this pace you will succeed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'd just like to say thank you to my sponsoers for giving me another opportunity to make a pointless post in reply to a pointless post.

There being no point to any of this, I think I've made my point.

[Stalin's Organ]

If I only post one useful thing in my lifetime, this is it:Thunderbirds

Play the Flash intro just to be retro!

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

No ... sexual... crusades here.

Sir Joe Shaw, Knight of the CessPool<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Does this mean that your date with StalOrg is off this weekend, Joe?

[Stuka]

Seanachai, afeared as you are to your impending demise under the hobnailed boot of my Chinchillatruppen, it would help proceedings along greatly if you were to attach the return file to your e-mail.

Far be it for me to suggest that you are engaging in a 'gamey, rat bastige attempt at prolonging the inevitable'.

BTW, if Peternz and Armournut are lurking, running away from pbems when you are losing is something I would expect of someone like Meeks, who also ran away from our game when he was losing.

*Sigh* The might of Stukapukapants is worthy indeed of your hurried withdrawals but I would like to finish a game now and then you know.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by a useless Kiwi bastard:

If I only post one useful thing in my lifetime, this is it:Thunderbirds

Play the Flash intro just to be retro!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah despise ye, Ah loathe ye an' Ah ignore ye - but thanks fer tha Thunderbirds link. Ah allas had a wee thang fer tha hotty, Lady Penelope...

Nae reply required or wanted...

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Trotsky's Piano:

Either is acceptable.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In your case, ether would be acceptable as well.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

Ah allas had a wee thang...

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I always suspected that of you.

[Stuka]

Lady Penelope is nothing but a two bit Ho who has nothing better to do than tease and taunt menfolk with her aristocratic aloofness.

She never even put out for any of the guys or took the time to display some ample cleavage or even to cross her legs in a tasteful manner.

Hussy!

BTW, just what did 'F.A.B' signify?

'FAB', short for 'fabulous'? How very camp.

[Berlichtingen]

Sir Joe,

You do understand that I loath you, right? Just making sure before I mention the reason for this post.

That is, perhaps, the best variation on the 'Rules' I have seen yet. That is a true service to the Mutha Beautiful Thread. You might consider continuing your spirit of service by committing suicide as that would improve this place greatly.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You do understand that I loath you, right? Just making sure before I mention the reason for this post.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>It was never in doubt, don't you worry your pretty little horned head about it. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>That is, perhaps, the best variation on the 'Rules' I have seen yet.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Perhaps? Perhaps says he of the red tint. I would suggest that it's a certainty. Now mind you I'd have followed the request of Lorak and used the rules posted by Mouse but alas the deed was done by the time I read it. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>That is a true service to the Mutha Beautiful Thread.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That means ... next to nothing coming from you but you're right about the service to the Pool, I'm either a philanthropist or a podiatrist, I forget which. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You might consider continuing your spirit of service by committing suicide as that would improve this place greatly. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I'm so depressed right now that I'd have to cheer up considerably just to be able to consider suicide. But hey, thanks for thinking of me.

Joe

[ 06-28-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Mr. Johnson--]

ummm, hi.

ummm, I was just wondering if any of you cesspoolers are not too busy for a game?

Because if so, I might be interested in battle if thats are right with you.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>ummm, hi.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ummmm, bye.

Joe

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Johnson-<THC>-:

ummm, hi.

ummm, I was just wondering if any of you cesspoolers are not too busy for a game?

Because if so, I might be interested in battle if thats are right with you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Lord love a duck! Kerist almighty, time to batten the hatches, seal off the passageways and hunker down, the Morelocks have taken control of the outer boards again!

Ya putz, I refer you to the first post, items 1& 2 are most appropriate since #4 is obviously beyond your infantile capabilities.

[ 06-28-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Lady Penelope is nothing but a two bit Ho who has nothing better to do than tease and taunt menfolk with her aristocratic aloofness.

She never even put out for any of the guys or took the time to display some ample cleavage or even to cross her legs in a tasteful manner.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well I think that's understandable, puppet sex I believe would be a very dangerous proposition, what with the fear of getting one's strings twisted and tangled.

Anyhow, perhaps Parker served other purposes?

Mace

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Johnson-

ummm<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Keep you bleary New Age, Boodist, gigantic-throbbing-web-of-mucus-is-life tripe the fecking feck out of our... feck.

As the once-great jd indicated: read the fecking rules... if you can't quote Donne as easily as you pick lint out of your ass, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME!

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe Sham wrote:

I'm so depressed right now that I'd have to cheer up considerably just to be able to consider suicide.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Showoff.

Now if anyone recognises this man, please let me know.

I've got a feeling it's one of you, and if I've been developing subconscious images of anyone here, I need to know so that I can shut off contact immediately, and call in a 14" naval barrage on their general locality.

Now excuse me... I need to be unconscious for a few hours.