Are you an uber-Combat Mission player? Take this quiz!

[109 Gustav]

This quiz is a bunch of questions in no particular order. Write down the points in the parenthesis for each "Yes" answer.

1. Did you have to find a job just to buy a copy of CM? (1)

2. Was it a really lousy job that you did anyway? (1)

3. Were you able to make a family member find a job instead, just so you could play CM? (2)

4. Have you ever spent 6 hours in a row playing CM? (1) -bathroom breaks and getting up to get food to eat in front of your computer doesn't count. Food eaten away from the computer does.

5. 12 hours? (2)

6. 24 hours? (5)

Two bonus points if you didn't get up for food or bathroom

7. If you had to choose between CM and your spouse/significant other, would you choose CM?. (1)

8. I already did. (2)

9. And he/she cleaned me out in the divorce, too. (5)

10. Have you ever had sex with the CM CD? (2)

11. Did you come? (3)

12. Did the CD? (4)

13. Was it better than with a human? (5)

14. Do you visit the CM forum

a. Every week or so (0)

b. Every day (1)

c. I can't be without my fellow CM players for more than two minutes (4)

15. Is your entire CM game modded? (1)

16. Do you switch mods for different games? (2)

17. During games? (4)

18. Have you ever played a TCP game? (1)

19. While playing PBEM turns at the same time? (3)

20. Two TCP games at once? (4)

21. Two TCP games and PBEMs at once? (6)

22. Is that even possible? (0)

23. Have you ever read 100% of one of JasonC's posts? (1)

24. Did you have to take notes to remember what he said at first so the ending would make sense? (2)

24. Have you ever discussed shell velocity, penetration, tank armor, MG ROF, etc with JasonC, Germanboy, Rexford, Slapdragon, or other ubergrogs? (1)

25. Did you argue? (2)

26. Did you win? (4)

27. Did they use your arguments or evidence in future posts? (5)

28. Are you a member of a tournament? (1)

29. Is your ranking in the top 10? (2)

30. Are you a member of either the Cesspool or Antithicess threads? (1)

31. Both? (3)

32. Have you ever won an argument while in one of these threads, in which your opponent admitted you were right? (15)

I think you're lying.

33. Are you an original member of that thread? (3)

34. Have you ever bought a copy of CM as a gift for someone else? (1)

35. Did they like it? (1)

36. Were you given CM as a gift? (1)

37. My relationship with Madmatt as a member of this forum is:

a. Just fine (1)

b. on the verge of being banned (2)

c. banned (3)

d. I would already be banned, except I have pictures of him at last year's party and I remembered to keep the negatives (10)

38. I know the exact value of a sherm 75's armor penetration (at a particular range/slope, doesn't matter which) (1)

39. At more than one range/slope (2)

40. At all of the ones listed on CM's chart, plus a couple extras that I calculated myself. (9)

41. I have attended a gathering of CM players (3)

42. Outside my home city (5)

43. And it meant a 5+ hour roadtrip (10)

44. I have made a scenario for CM, and sent it to a website for hosting (1)

45. I have made a mod for CM (2)

46. I got tired of sending my mods to other websites so I made my own (5)

47. I didn't care about hosting my mods, I just wanted to make a website for CM (8)

48. I bought a new computer just because my old one couldn't handle CM (2)

49. My computer handled CM just fine, but I've already bought a new computer just so I'll be able to play CMBB (4)

50. CM is the best game in the universe, and will continue to be the best for an indefinite period of time, with the exception of future versions of CM (5)

*************************************

Now add up your points.

178+ Well, you might be a grog, but you're a Dorosh-class grog who can't add. Go back and check your scores again.

100-178 Truly an ubergamer who has devoted his entire life to Combat Mission.

50-99 An expert Combat Mission player, who knows just about everything related to the game.

25-49 Well, you have a long way to go before you can count yourself as the best of the grogs, but that might be the best as far as friends, family, and health are concerned.

5-24 It's okay, everyone started somewhere. Just keep your eyes and ears open while chatting with fellow CM players and you'll go a long way.

0-4 Better slip out of this forum quietly before anyone notices you were here. Come back when you've played the game a few times.

What was my score? I earned a mere 39 points. Let's see how many people can beat that.

[ 12-09-2001: Message edited by: 109 Gustav ]</p>

[Gyrene]

37 points for me.

#23 cracked me up.

Gyrene

[Michael Dorosh]

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=9&t=001680

Yeah, you're obviously in the same boat...

It's long division I have the problem with me bucko...not addition!

You forgot one - "Have you ever posted something on the BTS board and had a Member compliment you on your originality and sense of humour? (2 for each instance)"

We'll see how well you do with this....

[Gyrene]

39 points if you count Mike D's extra points.

Gyrene

[Michael Dorosh]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gyrene:

37 points for me.

#23 cracked me up.

Gyrene<hr></blockquote>

And one more

"Have you ever gotten unsolicited hate email from someone in Ireland whom you've never even met who threatens to out you on the CM board. (13)"

[ 12-09-2001: Message edited by: Michael Dorosh ]</p>

[109 Gustav]

Ok, anyone who wants to add questions can. After awhile I'll add them to the list, and maybe post the final version on Last Defense.

[Gyrene]

No hate email for Ireland, but how's this:

-Have you ever started a thread about a legitimate topic (i.e. No CombatGenital nonsense) that ended up as a 250+ post flame fest? - 3 points

Gyrene

42 points for me if that counts.

[Bad Monkey!]

Heh,

Is your name JasonC, Slapdragon, etc., (name your favorite uber-grog here)? - 10 points

Have you ever claimed to have read "like 80% of all books about WW2" ? - 0 points

Had that claim be true - 50 points

[ 12-09-2001: Message edited by: Bad Monkey! ]</p>

[Bad Monkey!]

And another!

Have you ever written a book about the ballistics and armor penetration of WW2 projectiles? - 10 points

[ 12-09-2001: Message edited by: Bad Monkey! ]</p>

[Commander]

I should get an extra point as I not only read all of JasonC's posts but cut and pasted them to the dossier I started on him in preparation for our Quality Match.

I should get another point just for doing something like that.

I wonder if anyone would be interested in a white paper that is titled, "How To Get Maximum Pleasure When Playing Combat Mission"?

[Doug Beman]

Did you read each question with the care and attention normally given to law-school entrance exams, in order to ensure you fully understood the matter at hand? 3 points

Did you actually go through archived posts in order to answer any of these questions? 5 points

Did you send an email to anybody to confirm one of your answers? 7 points

DjB

[Doug Beman]

AAAAUGHHH! :eek: I only got 11! I need to either join a tournament, become a Cess-follower, make even a half-assed attempt at a mod, or start my own website.

DjB

[Doug Beman]

Have you ever recounted some aspect of your personal life or discussed your problems in ways normally reserved for family members or members of clergy? 20 points

Okay, with the "yes" on that one, I'm now in the 25-49 area.

DjB

[Screamineagle]

Only 15 points for me, I feel like such an underacheiver. What have I done with my life over the last year?

Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fangorn]

Have you participated in a tourney GMed by Treebust155 (1)

Have you won a tourney GMed by Treebust155 (4)

Have you participated in the CM hit thread (1)

Have you defended that lmg42 should be able to run, or negate it was possible, at least twice (1)

Your version of is CM cd 1.0 (1)

You won a cool poster by being one of the first preorders (3)

[Chad Harrison]

heres another question:

when you joined the a ladder, did the person in the number one position offer you a game. you then lost that game 2-98. 1 pt

you won that game 5 pt

i only had 20 points! guess im still a newbie!

[Redwolf]

I think you mixed up tournaments, ladder and (human-umpired) campaigns.

Are you member of a ladder - 1

Do you mostly play top-ten players - 2

Do people complain that your low score is unfair to them because they dont get many points from defeating you - 3

Did you participate in a tournament - 1

Did you understand the scoring system is use - 2

Did you participate in a human-driven historical campaign? - 2

Did you argue CMBO game mechanics got in way - 3

Did the campaign end within a few kilometers of the historial outcome front line - 5

[M Hofbauer]

have you already been here on the board back when it was still simple b/w? (3)

do you have a three-digit member number? (1)

two-digit? (3)

single digit? (5)

do you have more than 1,000 posts credited to you? (2)

more than 10,000? (5)

have you ever called yourself a grog? (-10)

do you more often than not edit your posts because you either forgot something, spelled something wrong or upon re-reading figured you didn't even understand it yourself, all the above because you are regularly so confused due to your utter immersion with CM ?

[ 12-09-2001: Message edited by: M Hofbauer ]</p>

[109 Gustav]

Good questions, everyone. Keep sending them and I'll make an updated list with all (or most) of them and put the whole thing on The Last Defense.

[Lars]

Has your Dog/Cat/Small Child ever peed under your computer desk because you were too busy playing CM? (10)

[eeyore]

Have you ever underestimated the fighting potential of Finnish combatants? -5

Yeknod

[ASL Veteran]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by eeyore:

Have you ever underestimated the fighting potential of Finnish combatants? -5

Yeknod<hr></blockquote>

Have you ever underestimated the ferocity with which Finns could wield logs when close assaulting Soviet tanks? -10

[Herr Oberst]

You forgot some important ones:

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

LLCVI) Have you ever authored a Cesspool thread endorsed by the Bald One? (-3 pts per instance)

3.14152987) How many Regular Cesspoolers castigated you for a poor showing your first post in the Cesspool?

r) "Never been there" you're a momma's boy. (+5 pts)

42) "More than ten", you're a closet grog without a pair. (+3 pts)

???) "Five to ten", that was a piss-poor challenge post (+1 pt)

eine ) "Three to five", a reasonable post, but bad form. (-1 pt)

hannah) "Only one or two", you're squire quality, and should be scorned by normal folk. (-3 pts)

sumol) "They welcomed me gladly", you're a liar, we welcome no-one (-5 pts)

<hr></blockquote>

Bah!

I scored 11, yes, that "one more than ten" number.

My only mod running is the armor panel mod that shows all the BMP values, but no, I have not completed a mod.

Yes, I am 222 (and what a sucky television show it was, but it was a cool PSW, or whatever).

I am usually neck deep in the Cesspool

[Soddball]

:eek: 14

I'm clearly not trying. Expect comments about penetration for the next fortnight.

[Captain Wacky]

My uber-Combat Mission skills go beyond mere mortal surveys, you fool! You might as well compare "Beowulf" to "Dude, "Where's My Car?"