Peng Challenge . . . by Jury

[Stalin's Organ]

Could it be? Can the sodding sodders get even more sodding sodden??

Just watch this space

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You blithering idiot!

Edited to spell the space properly

[ 07-19-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

50 bucks on Lardo!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorry there, me lad, but the bets are to be placed for the low score. Do learn to read the rules before placing your bet. Now, toddle off and return the file, that's a good chap.

[Mace]

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STUKA!!!!

Mace

[Leeo]

My Former liege!

A most fine and catatonic day for you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Stuka! (ya ka-nigget!)

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Sorry there, me lad, but the bets are to be placed for the low score. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, well thank the old ones for that - otherwise I might have to bet on myself or pansy woofer if it was the high score!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Do learn to read the rules before placing your bet. Now, toddle off and return the file, that's a good chap.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, well I'm afraid I'm off to a high school dance tonight & won't be geting any files done.....nudge nudge, wink, wink.

But I'll think of you as I watch the spotty 16 yr olds thrashing about on the dance floor and tell them they should be thankful they're better co-ordinated than you.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

Joe Shaw and I have exchanged a few more shots in Berli's little abomination du jour, and I'm beginning to see the joke. I'm not amused. Still, at least I've killed off a few of Joe's canuckleheads while he's been distracted by his briefs. Uh, legal briefs, that is.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am shocked that you would think that I would do something in one of my scenarios for my own amusement!

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

I can only suggest a quick trip to Confessor Peng to help you on your way to posts with wit and verve.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As any of us who play him regularly know, there is no such thing as a "quick trip to Confessor Peng". The real WWII, all of it, was a 500 point TCP/IP Quick Battle clickfest compared to a PBEM with the Mr.

But we're not here to discuss Peng, but rather our collective thanks that your unspeakable dullness occurs on only a quarterly basis (here, since for you, it lasts all year long).

The temp agency which provided you to us, during a rare shortage of newbie fodder, has since waived its fees and apologized, and credited back the charges to my Peng Thread Platinum Card. They have since realized that MBT quality standards cannot be met by unskilled, part-time "help" with deplorable attendance records and obviously faked drug screening reports.

In fact, your previous assignment at the car wash had many of the same issues, we understand. We must insist that you return the stapler and calculator missing from our front office, though you may keep the dictionary, provided you read the entry for "irony".

Thanks for writing, but we are unable to provide a reference for you at this time. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

[imported_Wildman]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

The temp agency which provided you to us, during a rare shortage of newbie fodder, has since waived its fees and apologized, and credited back the charges to my Peng Thread Platinum Card. They have since realized that MBT quality standards cannot be met by unskilled, part-time "help" with deplorable attendance records and obviously faked drug screening reports.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah my poor lost Californication brother,

I feel your pain. Well not really but it always worked for a President who will remain nameless. While you may try to cover up your inadequacies with unwarrented and petty attacks (are there any other kind?) on my august personage, the Pool knows the truth about your Peng Platinum Card.

You only called to have a perfectly legitimate charge cancelled due to your own fiscal irresponsibility. Yes, we all know that you are the reason for the rolling black outs in California. You needed that extra $19.99 to support your Grog Porn habit. You may deny it, but energy record accessed by Lawyer of the the Italian Title shows your constant 24 hours a day viewing of disgusting Triple G web sites is pulling unforseen MegaWatts of power thru the grid.

Your paltry attempt to place the blame on my head is met with the derision it deserves. To ease my eyes and fingers in having to respond to your Grog drool, I will grind your semi-tanned pointy head under my heel. The setup is on the way, you malignant SURFER DUDE!

[ 07-20-2001: Message edited by: Wildman ]

[MrSpkr]

Ahhh, life is getting back to normal. I'm beating the snot out of people in most of my battles (side note: Marlow - you can keep that tiny little victory location for as long as you want - I have all the others. You want to fight, bring it on -- what's that? You think our earlier exchange rate of about 50 of your guys (and a gun) for nine of my guys (and, of course, that awful fright you gave the company dachsund) is unfair? Well, [alt]+ is always an option, of course!) . . . I'm having fun with people using the legal process (funny how this thread seems to mirror real life at times) . . .Mouse hasn't posted in several days (now if we could just get Stalin's Organ to follow his lead), and the Outer Boarders are complaining about us again.

I love it when life goes according to plan.

[**YK2**]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Lorak is not the only one celebrating his birthday, you steeenking, feeelthy, gamey, rat bastages.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

** HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY STUKA **

\_/> \_/>

(((((((clinck clinck, cheers))))))))

Better late than never......

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

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<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's the most sensible thing you've said.

Mace

[MrSpkr]

Bumped from the bottom of the page, you knobs.

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

I say everybody should get a breath test before posting to prevent this sort of sewage backing up the drain on the Cesspool.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Stone cold sober, how frightening is that?

[ 07-20-2001: Message edited by: bauhaus ]

[offtaskagain]

Bumped off the bottom, AGAIN. Idiots.

[jdmorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Ignorant sods! It was not Lawyer (he's guilty of other sins). It WAS seanachai, he HAS been judged and he IS guilty. Must I use smaller words to make you tiresome mortals understand? HE IS GUILTY! Now, the question is the punishment. What has been proposed is that he be given the opportunity to have the vile grog spirits cast out by Father Peng... a kindness offered because of his past services to the Mutha Beautiful Thread. The alternitive is that he be cast down as an SSN. Is understanding beginning to penetrate your thick skulls?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"It's just sad, Larry" sad to see a former great one reduce to the level of Joe Berli McCarthy calling for Point of Order, when no one cares and the spectators are already leaving the room, as in the McCarthy-Army hearings. Or Krushchev pounding his shoe on the UN podium demanding to go to Disneyland or he'll hold his breath until he turns blue.

Your days of preening and screeching are pathetic echoes of a has been Berli. I mean you ARE Mick Jagger strutting around in spandex well past his prime. Evidence your words in your sig I stuck around St Petersburg...

Your old ways no longer gather the fear of damnation, especially the way you are playing the WineCap tourney, you proto-Hiram.

The Court of Cess cares not for your posturing, except that your mewling's provide entertainment. Be gone faithless apparition, your strength grows weary until your shall be cast out to DiscWorld

[offtaskagain]

Saved from page 2 AGAIN. Is the entire pool already too drunk to post? I didn't think it was possible, but from the look of most of the babblings here or lack thereof, it must be true.

[Lorak]

I have come to my decision.

The facts before this court are that on or about 7/3/01 Seanachai did with malice of forethought, venture in to a grog tourney, and offer them posting rights to the MBT and offer a knighthood to the winner of said tourney.

These are damning charges and as such have been taken with as much seriousness as the pool is capable of.

I will address these charges:

I) offering them posting rights to the pool.

This is a non-charge in the courts opionion. The pool has always been a place where any and all my post as long as they follow our rules and expectations. So at best Seanachai is guilty of offering nothing. Also in light of the fact that only one grog deemed it fit to post here (claymore). And taken to light that said grog followed the rules, I see no crime and dismiss these charges.

Offering a knighthood to the winner of said tourney

This is the more serious of the charges laid before the defendent. Mostly due to the fact that it flys in the face of my authority. The fact of the matter is that knighthoods are not awarded on a whim. It is a daunting task in which I consult many gods and oracles. Lorak pushes his magic eight ball farther under the desk

The fact is that seanachai told a blaintent falsehood when he promised a knighthood. For the rest of you this charge would not matter. BUT! Seanachai is a bard. For a bard there is no greater goal in life than the preserving of and re-telling of the truth.

For this crime, I therefore have no choice but to find the defendant Guilty.

Now for sentencing:

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I have taken several things into consideration during this trial.

Since the time of the offense seanachai's name has been unbolded. Through his crime he has also managed to inspire a great hate in the pool. Knight has turned upon knight. Flinging bile and backstabing whenever possible. These are of course all good things. Also when the tourney is taken to light. It seems as if the winner might very well be Fionn(whose birthday was 7/19 also). In this case the knighthood wouldn't have even been a crime. This I conclude from the fact that if Fionn was here he would have been posting and tromping around the pool as long as the old ones have been here. So offering a knighthood to one who would normaly already have one is a non-issue.

But more important than all this is that during the period of said unbolding. The defendant has in fact been forced to spend time in canada !!

The court in good conscience can not think of a punishment that could possibly have any weight on one who has been to canada.

Therefore this court sentences seanachai to the unbolding of his name for two weeks. This being back dated to the time of the offense. Therefore he is sentenced to time already served.

and to the playing of a PBEM game with Peng. This later obviously will last for months and in that time give seanachai time to think about what he has done.

This court is adjourned!

Lorak the loathed

[ 07-20-2001: Message edited by: Lorak ]

[Mark IV]

Can I have his boots?

[jdmorse]

Spkr My boy. Credit for time served and a slap on the wrist. Let's re-do our final billing to our client to take into account (wink) the superlative results from our most Learned and Esteemed Jurist. The quality of mercy is not strained.....etc, etc.

Yes sir, a fine bit of lawyering, results my boy, always take credit for results , unless it's bad.

[MrSpkr]

Thank you, sir. It was a pleasure.

Now, let's see, the final bill. Hmmm. I thought about the case in the car to and from home . . . and yesterday whilst I was watering the lawn (dratted beer goes through you so quickly these days) . . .

(takes out pencil and begins calculations)

Hmmm . . . yes . . . mhmmm . . . yes . . . and . . . yes!

Superb! I believe I'll tell the wife we can get a house AND a new van!

(walks away, whistling a happy tune)

[edited to up the billing, of course!]

[ 07-20-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Lorak]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Can I have his boots?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Umm... Seanachai doesn't wear any boots. His feet just normally look like that.

Lorak

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Spkr My boy. Credit for time served and a slap on the wrist. Let's re-do our final billing to our client to take into account (wink) the superlative results from our most Learned and Esteemed Jurist. The quality of mercy is not strained.....etc, etc.

Yes sir, a fine bit of lawyering, results my boy, always take credit for results , unless it's bad.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> We might have expected this of course, had Lorak ruled that Seanachai be hung, drawn and quartered the Defense would have claimed a victory because they saved their client from the electric chair. Further I would point out that Seanachai HIMSELF was quite upset over not having his name bolded, he obviously felt that was a severe punishment and as to playing Peng ... can there BE worse fate?

FACTS, my dear jd and MrSpkr (I exempt Lawyer as he contributed nothing ... as usual) cannot be denied. The CessPool, under my inspired leadership and legal talent, PROVED the case against Seanachai and HE WAS FOUND GUILTY! Your twisting of the facts and spinning of the results do not alter the fact that the Prosecution (laboring, I might add, for the pitiful wages paid a civil servant and NOT the inflated hourly charges admitted to by MrSpkr) was triumphant and Seanachai will certainly not be making the same mistake again ... he will, we are certain, be making OTHER mistakes ... such as thinking he can win against my tactics in our game.

Let all Knights, Squires and Serfs of the CessPool remember ... The Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool is ever vigilant ... btw, the Jury is reminded to return their Official Stenographers ... YES Mace AND the Tee Shirts, yes, you will have to remove it from your head first, but say, if you've been wearing it on your head then what is the Stenog ... OH ... OH MY!

Joe

[ 07-20-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[BFCElvis]

I am about to light this thread up with controversy. Before I do I want to go sit down and make sure this is what I really want to do.

[BFCElvis]

After careful consideration I am taking a more militant stance on something I feel very strongly about and have had enough of. From this point on I will not play anyone who insists on numbering turns (the only exception being CMMC battles because they represent the only real reason I can think of to number turns at all). When a game begins with one of you cretins I will remind you of this and if the return file I receive is numbered I will not even give the curtouesy of letting you know why I am stopping the game I will just delete the file and not answer questions as to where the file is. Any curent games that I have going that people are numbering (I never number mine I just send back the same file name that was sent to me) will continue and you may do as you see fit with regard to numbering.

I wish I knew who started this whole numbering thing because it is the only truely stupid thing that people do. There is only one real reason that someone might want to number turns and that is if they are writing an AAR.. Any other reason I have ever heard has been answered by and shown to be silly. I do not wish to debate this issue any more than I already have with some of you (jd and Markymark4 come quickly to mind). I doubt this will stop any of you hat want a shot at the unbeatable Elvis from challanging me. If it does Idon't care because I usually have more games going than I can handle anyway ya yellow cowards.

I will allow a brief bit of debate but it will most likely jus involve me copy/pasting emails sent to jd and Mark69 as they seemed pretty much to sum it up and answer any weak reasons you hammerheads try to come up with. Since I am on typing roll here I will cover the major bases.

1) "you can keep track ofwhose turn it is" ARE YOU NUTS!!! If you are not sureif it is your turn try to open the file..if it asks for your password then it is your turn...if it doesn't then it is your opponants turn.

2)"But if I have it numbered I don't have do that". What takes up more time....doing what I stated above the very few occations you wll have to do it or cleaning out all the piles of game files in your PBEM folder. I don't know about you but I don't lose track of wose turn it isvery often but I do find myself cleaning out my cluttered PBEM folder pretty often.

3) It is not a problem for me at this point but those files eat up a decent amount of drive space.

4) And another thing about "it lets me know if it's my turn or not" What if you numbered the file like a good little conformist but forgot to email it? You don't know that anymore if you number it than if you don't.

I have many many more reasons but I am at work and duty calls.

[rune]

Elvis is losing to Peng?

Rune