Peng Challenge . . . by Jury

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

Lorak Rack'm up!

After a dash landing of OFGDASF Crack and Elite Queens Own Rifles of Canada vs. Menchies wonderful German Troops shot him up to no end! His lads had no chance.

I still laugh at his weenie defeat, cuz he out manned me by 4:1.... HA HA!!

[ 07-21-2001: Message edited by: mensch ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ye're a sad wee stoat o' a mon, ain't ye? Festerin' pillock. One company of Canadian sodjers, "wadin' ashore" o'er ford terrain, aintae machine gun an' 75mm pillboxes, MG's ain heavy buildin's, an' artillery - an' the six troops wha' survived meet a full platoon sitti' ain tha' VL. Thas as tha poxiest, most useless piece o' scenario ****e Ah have ever seen. Worse than tha' rune abomination called "Brits ain Bocage". Tha latter as akin tae shootin' fish ain a barrell wi' a .50 cal MG, boot thus "Nan Beach" as lak tyin' a Canadian hamster ain a string shoppin' bag, hookin' at tae a tree trunk an' smackin' at wi' a cricket bat.

An' ye jumpin aroond lak some sandy haired wee cretin wi' a belly full o' red cordial cos tha AI had tha grace tae auto surrender a game tha shud ne'er ha' seen tha leet o' day!! But havin' wiped tha' floor wi ye ain our firrst gam, at's noo surprise tha' ye wanna tak at where ye kin get at.

Aye, Ah'll kack ye spotty arrrse agin, but Ah'll pick tha bloody scenario thus teem - ye wobbly-eyed gibberin' poltroon! Did Ah mainshun ye're a pillock?

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Mace]

Lorak

Macey, Macey, uber alles!!!

Note the following

Mace: Victory (score 61)

Lorak: Shame (score 39)

Now you already knew that, but I am taking the opportunity to gloat as per Cessrule 9090777.99.391 Adenda XXI - Taking the opportunity to gloat!

Mace

[imported_Wildman]

My Lard Lorak, your elfness.

While your playing with your quill mark down the topplement of Croda by yours truly. My first ever Pool game finally finished with Croda comming to the realization every FJ on the map running in the wrong direction is a BAD thing.

Wildman: Winner (89 points)

Croda: What else? (11 points)

Numbers added to irritate Elvis

[Lorak]

Let it be known that,

Yes Mace is an urber gamey bastage.

He would have never one this game if it was for his gamey tactics of making my infanty roll over on their backs and my AFV's catch on fire.

Clearly the Gamey tactics of a manhooverist.

Lorak the loathed

[jd]

Elvis is well, Elvis.'nuff said. While a turn numberer (like Iskie I keep the last turn rec'd and sent only) I have found with our current game a new, for me art form, that of the pbem taunt. The challenge is to utilize the limited character space where we usually would number our turns. Thus some of our turns are identified thusly Ecantseeabear****inthewoods.txt, Elfart.txt, Elfartedonjdshead.txt, Elvisusedposionivyinstead.txt, harumph.txt, Havetocatchmeifyoucanneener.txt,

iloveentrails.txt, ilovefirediscipline.txt, iloveliverspots.txt

Granted the possiblities of this Haiku sort of taunt have yet to be explored, but if Petulant Elvis is to be humored, this at least provides an outlet

[ 07-21-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[David Aitken]

ENOUGH!

Elvish, you fairy-man, cower before your nemesis!

My PBEM folder contains a folder for each of the people I am playing or have ever played. Within each of these folders is a folder for each of the games I am playing or have ever played against that particular person, denoted by the start date of the game, eg. 2001.07.22 . Within each of these dated folders is all of the files which comprise that game.

But wait! There is more. Each of my 'person' folders is labelled, green for 'currently active', blue for 'on hold', and red for 'finished'. Each of my 'game' folders is also labelled, yellow for 'win', purple for 'loss' and pink for 'draw'. I have the files therein listed to show me the size, so I can tell which are orders files and which are action files. The only measure I haven't taken is to mark which are my files and which are my opponent's (thanks Seanachai).

And the pathetic Mr Elvish dares request a REASON? Well let me tell you this, matey, I DON'T BLOODY WELL NEED A REASON! If I needed a reason, I WOULDN'T BE ON THIS GODFORSAKEN PLANET, YOU MONGOLOID!

Junior needs its nappy changed, run along.

[Lorak]

quick update:

Mensch-win

OGSF-loss

Mace-win

Lorak-loss

Wildman-win

Croda-loss

Lorak

[BFCElvis]

David ..you are sad and sick little man.

[BFCElvis]

My God, Elvis, we don't have to prove you wrong, as genetics has done that for us already. Do what ever you like with your turns, we aren't coming to your house to watch tumbleweeds blow across your empty and uncluttered hard drive.

Just stop demanding that everyone else in the universe climb on board the latest quirk in your spiralling Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and allow the rest of us to do what we want with our files, Rainman.

And we never said you couldn't count. What we said was 'you don't count'. Several of us, of course, did point out that you can count, but only with difficulty and by concentrating to a point that usually causes you to wet yourself.

People (well, Lawyer, actually) are demanding that I apologize for inviting Grogs into the Thread, while Elvis is on his umpteenth iteration of his innumeracy rant, and no one's shot him yet. Someone run out and get a Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deputy to come in here and put a warning shot through the back of his head.

(edited to remove referance to an actual number that might have sent him off into another fit of gibbering. Hopefully the child will take after the mother).

This is great Seanachai but why do you number?

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

That's as high as I can count.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What kind of animal are you? I didn't know you had 40 fingers and toes that you could count.

[Panzer Leader]

Man, I tell you, has the outerboards collective I.Q. gone down a few points this week. It was like wading through crap trying to catch up on a few of those. I couldn't do it, in fact it was so bad I couoldn't even force myself to catch up on this blasted thread, other than to read Seanachai's heart-felt apologia.

Let me get to the gist of the matter: people are stupid. I think that sums it up.

On to updates:

Jd please stop sending emails that say "I think you forgot to send the latest" or "Did you get this last week?" We all know that you are a scatter-brained idjit when it comes to returning turns. Just process and send, okay? If I wasn't already playing you (and kicking your flat, flabby ass!) I'd challenge you.

The rest of you, sod off and you'll get your turns in a bit.

Oh, one other thing: I have bested another SSN -- you know, the kind that post until they get a game, then are never heard from again. It was a beautiful German defense against the Allies in snow. He hit all the ambushes, and my puppchens and 20mm's held him at bay until they ran out of ammo, then he captured one flag, one was gray, and I had two. Final score 52, 48, a draw! Arrrrgh. His name was Parabellum.

LORAK!

I think we need a new category. Something like "Number of Scum Sucking Newbies Given the Bums Rush" That was number three for me, and I got another one about to get it.

I am also playing Achin', Pablum, Stalin's Wiggle Stick (two games! What the hell...) and that's about it, as far as I can remember. Oh, also Seanachai but what the hell.

Thank you and goodnight.

[Stalin's Organ]

Those who do not number their turn files deserve all the "Get me a bloody turn back" posts that they get.

i number my turns:

X) So I have no excuse for not getting a turn back

2.4.( Because I'm a lazy bastard and I use one of those PBEM helper thingies and it needs numbers to keep track of things 'cos it's only a computer programme and unable to handle concepts like the variety of genders of Elvis's "partners" and it does a bloody good job of it and I could never be bothered!

Anyone who has a problem with that is an ignorant gamey uselss poltroon of the lowest order.

And so are the rest of you!

[Goanna]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> some law-dude: So Elvis has a point.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Actually, I think you meant to say Elvis had a point but that it was clearly beaten flat into what is now a perfect cro-magnon brow by Peng with a dummy pipe in the basement of his momma's house more than a dozen years ago.

The ranting of this strident numerologist is clearly approaching that of the Cabbage himself. Me thinks he has had to spend too much on bottled food and Pampers lately and is worried about using up that last gig of space on the HD which will undoubtedly be the last he is allowed to purchase until they need one "for junior's education".

Shut yer cakehole Elvis and send me a new setup. With each numbered or un-numbered turn I will then send you .gifs of me in exotic locations, rolling in piles of cash which will be wasted on my own perverse needs and not squandered on some proto-humanoid parasite.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

So Elvis has a point. I save the games until they're finished just in case the nitwits I'm playing can't find a file, but then I erase 'em.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I really hate to do this, but I agree with Lawyer, and I have no intention of overwritting files as that has proven to be one of the biggest cuplrits of f***ed up files.

[Goanna]

I would just like to add that I think it is wonderful that we have all moved back to our normal "repartee" in this thread sponsored by the ÜberLizard, and that JoePshaw, Daz and Berli are at risk of being accused of wussiness unless they return current files in their native numerated or non-numerated states. Marlow, on the other hand is a wuss without question for abandoning the test of hsi scenario with me when I was about to do him slow in the fashion of Paul Keating.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna:

I would just like to add that I think it is wonderful that we have all moved back to our normal "repartee" in this thread sponsored by the ÜberLizard, and that JoePshaw, Daz and Berli are at risk of being accused of wussiness unless they return current files in their native numerated or non-numerated states. Marlow, on the other hand is a wuss without question for abandoning the test of hsi scenario with me when I was about to do him slow in the fashion of Paul Keating.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I would be ever so glad to return a file to you... just as soon as you send me one to reply to. By my count, one file has been sent (by me to you) in our current game. So, if you'd be so kind, pull your head outta your ass and send me the file

[Goanna]

Rooowrrr. Bowl of milk in Hades please.

For your information Hell's Half-Sister I returned the new new setup (after you pissed away all my fine work in the bauhaus setup debacle) and sent you a numbered file from my Outgoing Files folder on 16/7, so there. Pffft!

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]

[BFCElvis]

Organ,

I don't see how numbering ensures that you send a file. It only ensures that you numbered it not that you sent it.

And Hiram/Phillygirl used a PBEM helper and his turns weren't numbered.I thoght that was the idea with the helper that it would keep track of whose turn it is.I guess you got the cheap version.

Berli,

I have played hundreds of games (as I'm sure you know) and have never had a corrupted file. So in my mind it is not with the clutter and deleting on the off chance that after almost 2 years of playing this I will get a corrupted file that my opponant does not have a good copy of or that I can't download a copy from my last incoming or outgoing email.

Lizardboy,

Drive space is currently not a problem...if it was I would not allow the lemmings who are currently sending numbered file to continue.

Please send photos of above mentioned locales and a setup file.

In closing for now (you know I can't just let this go) I have never had a problem with a PBEM that numbering turns would have prevented from happening.

[Stuka]

Update time!

OK, riddle me this grog-scum.

In an Armour only battle with the scourge of the highlands, the epervescent OSGF fuhreurher bastage, how can it be that at the final turn, I hold all the VL's, I have five tanks still doing their bit to widen the hole in the ozone layer while my esteemed opponent has precisely zip, save for the odd crew that I have not yet mercilessly gunned down in true Hollywood Nazi style.

How can it be that the fascist AI can only award me a minor Axis Victory?

Check it out you funk soul brothers, I lost 24 vehicles against his 28, I had 76 casualties (16 KIA) against his 90 casualties (27 KIA), I had 62 men OK against his 50 and yet I feel the carpet ripped out from under me with a measely minor victory.

BTS should fix or etc, etc...

Just for a giggle race fans, try an armour only ME, using Fions 75 rule in heavy fog with scattered trees and rural location, its kinda spooky and should really favour the Allies with their faster turrets but alas, on this occasion, the spoils went to the sauerkraut munchers.

Lorak!, scribe quickly and quietly, as it gives me no great pleasure to peel the scalp from OGSF's sweaty bonce once again.

Stuka, Lord of the things that go prrrup in the night. 61

OGSF, Bound to get lucky sooner or later. 39

[Lawyer]

Okay, Elvis, like the tune to Jeopardy, I can't get your silly number crusade out of my mind. So here's a good reason to number.

By watching the increasing game file numbers, it reminds me quickly of how much time I have spent on a game. Usually, one file number equals one day of precious life, which means that "ElvisLaw 41.txt" would let me know without even opening it up that I have wasted well over a month knocking heads with a git like you. In fact, our last game lasted over SIX WEEKS!

Like prisoners marking the days with scratches on the wall, we number files to keep track of time. I suspect the real number freaks will be advocating an atomic game clock that makes these things automatic.

And here I am wasting more precious time posting this ****e because Elvis "can't let it go". Arrrgggggghhh.

[Stuka]

I number files to prepare against the all too often occassions where an opponent will claim to have not recieved a turn, whereapon I will joyeously reply "You complete cock! I sent file #51 3 days ago". To whit complete cock will say "D'oh, the last turn I have is #50, my ISP must have lost your turn".

Whereapon I can gleefully and without remorse of aforethought resend #51 to the afore mentioned cock, and all is well in the world.

Ergo, numbering files is a means of proving to cocks around the world that it is they, and not my goodself that is making a complete Elvis of themselves.

'Nuff said.

[MrPeng]

Stuka:

I think Elvis has an 8" shell that disagrees with you...hee hee!

[**YK2**]

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Edited because I felt like it]

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ]

[BFCElvis]

Stuka,

Think man think...use your head all of you. If you just take a minute and think you will avoid bad reasons to number..like the one you have just given.

In your example it would take 4 emails to get back to gaming...without numbering it takes two.

Stukas way:

email #1 where's my file

email #2 I sent you file #51 3 days ago

email #3 The last I have is #50

email #4 Ok here is #51 again.

Elvis way:

email #1 Where's my file

receiveing player checks game file and finds he has played it and it is asking for opponants password or finds he hasn't and proceeds to play the file.

email #2 Here ya go.

2 emails and everyone is back to gaming faster.

Think people please...I have thought this through from every angle. Stop being comformists you pathetic war game geeks.

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

Aye, Ah'll kack ye spotty arrrse agin, but Ah'll pick tha bloody scenario thus teem - ye wobbly-eyed gibberin' poltroon! Did Ah mainshun ye're a pillock?

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you silly git, you picked the one from the list I wished to play!! if ya want to blame someone look in that cracked mirror of yours you have and after ya put more cracks in it with yer ugly mug.. say "I'mma boob!"

pick it me lad, heck find a middle man to make it for us! (but on a pre made map not some silly thing a monkeys Uncle could make)!

I would'nt mind picking say um...Berli, or wait on second thought not him.. evil bastard. Senachai or that nob Manority.. majority.. or what ever the nobs name is.

Muhahaha...

[Edited cuz my stupid keyboard sticks due to that "cola" fiasco this weekend]

[ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: mensch ]