Peng Challenge . . . by Jury

[offtaskagain]

So Lard wishes to defend his feeble old Kannigget? Well then, I shall have to destroy him on the field of battle. What have you to say now Loaf?

[Stalin's Organ]

Pepper Spray, I'm sorry I taxed your neuron too heavily - obviouly counting to 3 and choosing between the two options was too difficult for you, so let me spell it out.

No, I am not in or from the Mouth Island. Much as it pains me to have to explain something that the rest of the world regards as an axiom, it is you and your fellow syphylitic Koala Kuddlers who inhabit that horrible place.

You must realise that everying in this world has an opposite...when Go...er...that other guy was creating the world he put New Zealand here as a perfect place, a land of milk and honey even. And the keep the average down and to show he had a perverse sense of humour he created you lot as our nearest neighbours!

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by panzerwerfer42:

So Lard wishes to defend his feeble old Kannigget? Well then, I shall have to destroy him on the field of battle. What have you to say now Loaf?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm, must set the 30 second clock:

Picked some specific. Yep.

Offered challenge. Yep.

Sounded off like he had a pair. Nope.

*BUZZzzz* Yo time is up!

So sorry, but we do have a nice consolation prize for you. Cess Hard Lemonade, the drink that will put a lurch in your step and a sneer on your lips. Made with the finest ingredients and bottled right here. Please return the ladle when you are done as there is definitely a deposit on it.

Better luck next time, pansywoofer42, do try again...or not.

[Terence]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Sounded off like he had a pair. Nope.

*BUZZzzz* Yo time is up!

Better luck next time, pansywoofer42, do try again...or not.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Make him recite poetry, the knob.

[offtaskagain]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

So sorry, but we do have a nice consolation prize for you. Cess Hard Lemonade, the drink that will put a lurch in your step and a sneer on your lips. Made with the finest ingredients and bottled right here. Please return the ladle when you are done as there is definitely a deposit on it.

Better luck next time, pansywoofer42, do try again...or not.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well I have an offer for you. How about a swill of some nice stale fermented urine? That too is made right here, straight from the old ones then left to ferment in the stable with the pissboys. I'll even let you keep the ladle, but only if you drink all of it.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

I submit these reports of Berli, Shanadorf, Mark IV, and Mace in numourous grog thread, including, but not limited to "Pentetration, SMG GAP, The T-34 and you, and finally IS-2 Ubertank or dandy".<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What this vile and pathetically spelled calumny fails to note is that none of us have made any contributions of measurable worth to said grog threads.

However, the mere presence of a known Pengian in a grog thread has been known to shorten it by several pages, and you may thank us for that. Anyway, I bowed out of the SMG Gap thread when it ceased to be about SMGs, or gaps, and when persons inspiring greater revulsion and abhorrence than any Cesspudlian appeared, to work their special magic.

Now, on with the trial.

[Shandorf]

Well, well, well... sneak out of work to catch Kiss of the Dragon at the movies and the little ragamuffins like Maxipad take the advantage to pull their head out their ass to squawk a bit, like the poser boy he is.

Taking that personal cheap shot at Fionn in the DNS thread was lower than even I care to go. Not even in the Cesspool does one do such a thing. Obviously he is making up for the lack of something. I wonder what it could be? Is he short on wit? Intelligence? Or is it the extra pair of socks he goes through every day? One has to wonder.

While I enjoy a good teasing and poking even I draw the line at personal attacks. Sure Fionn's Irish...and I bet he likes his whiskey... am I bastard for alluding to it? No. In no way did I intend for my comments to be taken personally. That is, unless I am referring to Maxi-munch. Then, I don't care.

Apologies to any I might have offended. And yes…that includes you Fionn.

Mind you, this doesn’t mean I am not gonna mention the whiskey.. and the temper…from time, to time.

Jeff

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

I submit these reports of Berli, Shanadorf, Mark IV, and Mace in numourous grog thread, including, but not limited to "Pentetration, SMG GAP, The T-34 and you, and finally IS-2 Ubertank or dandy". <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You honor, I object!!!!

We are not on trial here. Someone else is!

Who? Don't ask me, I forgot! But as long as we get a hanging out of it, that's all we ask (however, we won't say no to photos of people in comprimising positions being shown as evidence - especially if it involves black leather and whips )

Mace

[Lorak]

Shandorf,

Some might take offense at you thinking that all irish people like whiskey and have tempers.

Take me as an example. I'm irish. I like whiskey. I have a temper.......

ummm...on second thought maybe you shouldn't use me for an example. Just ignore what I said.

Now it is time in court for a little sing song. a one and a two

God loves a hanging,

thats why he gave us necks.

It tightens up your vocal cords,

it losens up your pecs.

Ok, enough of that.

Bring out the next whore....err witness.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

You honor, I object!!!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Close Flyspray - very close - you are an object - of derision, repulsion, of hatred and as an example of how bad can get worse.

Now bugger off and try again.

Now I've got a bone to pick with the Runny nosed one.

This stoopid 11000 pt scenario that you invented and Mrs Robinson and I are playing is pretty bloody lame! Ogresdorf or whatever - the one with a river splitting the map in half, 1 bridge and a couple of infantry only fords.

The cretinous Mrs Robinson has put a road block at each end of the bridge, and is lining the river with big nasty german bang-bangs in armoured boxes.

The allies (me - good guys unlimited) are busy sneaking through the brush trying not to get shot at and picking off little bits of jerry from here, there and everywhere while raining 7.2" bricks on the uber-panzers.

well Duh - where's the bloody game in this?? It's just plain BOOOORING - I was under the obviosuly mistaken impression that you were able to design real good scenarios, not piss-weak slumber-fests!

This one ain't worth the piss tin that Lardo's head is stuck in!

[ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Shandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

Shandorf,

Some might take offense at you thinking that all irish people like whiskey and have tempers.

Take me as an example. I'm irish. I like whiskey. I have a temper.......

ummm...on second thought maybe you shouldn't use me for an example. Just ignore what I said.

Now it is time in court for a little sing song. a one and a two

God loves a hanging,

thats why he gave us necks.

It tightens up your vocal cords,

it losens up your pecs.

Ok, enough of that.

Bring out the next whore....err witness.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You forgot waffles, Lorak. Don't forget the waffles.

Jeff

[Mr. Johnson--]

Hehehe, its not that bad is it Stalin? I only blocked both sides of the bridge cuz Rune allowed me too and its my job to prevent you advancing. And you the one making it boring, sneaking and tiptoing around the battlefield. For a second I though you had some cajones on you, but I guess not.

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pansywoofer42:

Well I have an offer for you. How about a swill of some nice stale fermented urine? That too is made right here, straight from the old ones then left to ferment in the stable with the pissboys. I'll even let you keep the ladle, but only if you drink all of it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Resetting the 30 second clock:

Picked some specific. Yep.

Offered challenge. Nope.

Sounded off like he had a pair. Yep.

*BUZZzzz* Yo time is up again!

Please see the very first post in the MBT. RuPaul, what do we have for the little tyke. More Cess Hard Lemonade? Excellent, RuPaul, he obviously needs another draught.

[ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

[Lorak]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shandorf:

You forgot waffles, Lorak. Don't forget the waffles.

Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahh yes shandorf. You are quite right.

I might just have to make a trek to the "waffen haus" for supper tonight.

Lorak the loathed

edited because ubb is the spawn of Berli

[ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: Lorak ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>*BUZZzzz* Yo time is up again!

Please see the very first post in the MBT. RuPaul, what do we have for the little tyke. More Cess Hard Lemonade? Excellent, RuPaul, he obviously needs another draught.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah yes, he (that is to say Lars) is catching on quite nicely. Love the game show theme BTW, nice touch that. But don't forget the UNWRITTEN rule (at least THIS time it was unwritten because SOMEONE forgot to insert it) that any challenges should contain a modicum of WIT, of HUMOR, of STYLE or PANACHE. So far Penny Loafer00 is lacking ANY of the above. You have my permission to fight the stinking SSN, but make sure he offers a GOOD challenge in accordance with CessPool tradition. Keep up the good work and don't forget the paper due ... oh Dear ... tomorrow morning I fear ... on "SSN Ain't Short for Nuclear Submarine YOU TWIT.". Oh and don't forget the references and this time PLEASE double space ... 14 pages should suffice.

Joe

p.s. Thanks for the backup whilst I'm in court.

p.p.s. Oh and don't feel obligated to fight him if it would take time away from your CessPool matches. Remember that only CessPool matches count and, after all, he's only an SSN.

[ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Johnson-<THC>-:

Hehehe, its not that bad is it Stalin? I only blocked both sides of the bridge cuz Rune allowed me too <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Precisely why I was sticking it to the Dribbling one - I have no problem with you being a pussy-whipped coward and making a non-game of it by hiding across the river if the idiot scenario designer lets you - that's {cough} actually good resource management!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>and its my job to prevent you advancing. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

no yuo fool - your job is to win!! Oddly enough just preventing me advancing past the river will probably not be enough!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And you the one making it boring, sneaking and tiptoing around the battlefield. For a second I though you had some cajones on you, but I guess not.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

for a second you thought?? No, I doubt it!!

You're the one with a zillion uber tanks - I'm the one with the Shermans and cromwells! To advance into the open with that lot isn't ballsy - it's just stupid, and hence something I'd expect Flyspray to do.

No, I'll win, and I see no reason to get blasted of the face of the earth for the sole purpose of preventing that from happening!

But it'll be boring. Yawn - give me a QB ME any day over this rubbish!

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mr Spkr said<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Your honor, I present the following evidence and move for Summary Judgment in favor of the Defendant, Seanachai, on the merits.

Your honor, I present this sworn statement by the Old One Himself, MrPeng:

quote:

------------------------------------------------------------------------

MrPeng

Member

Member # 1019

posted 10-12-2000 12:15 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hamsters/Meeks(!) you are all very silly. There is no Cesspool anymore. It is gone. It can never come back.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You see, your honor! Seanachai cannot be found guilty of the heresy charged against him, namely of inviting the grogly ones into the Cesspool because, the words of MrPeng himself, THERE IS NO CESSPOOL ANYMORE! IT IS GONE! It can NEVER come back.

a little man in a rumpled suit, an honorary attorney at one time before being honorarily disbarred, sidles up to the prosecutor and tugs at his arm

Hey, Mr. Prosecutor, got somefink for ya.

Mr. Shaw slips him a C-note

Y'know that Peng guy has posted in the Peng thread subsequent to that statement and has claimed the contents of subsequent incarnations of the thread as his own. That would mean all subsequent incarnations are, per se, part of the one true Peng thread.

The prosecutor mutters, "thanks," now get lost.

[ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

You honor, I object!!!!

We are not on trial here. Someone else is!

But as long as we get a hanging out of it, that's all we ask

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"Hang the Sheep-shagger!"

"String 'im up!"

"Kill the grogs!"

"Where's the Blood!!"

"Draw and quarter! Oooo, we ain't had a good drawing and quartering in a fortnight!"

[jdmorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

Hey, Mr. Prosecutor, got somefink for ya....

Y'know that Peng guy has posted in the Peng thread subsequent to that statement and has claimed the contents of subsequent incarnations of the thread as his own. That would mean all subsequent incarnations are, per se, part of the one true Peng thread.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Huh?! What was that? Of course. Spkr quickly the law books. Now what was that doctrine they taught in law school. Ya the one I forgot immediately after passing the bar 20 yrs ago, Agency wasn't it? Of course!

(Rising) M'Lord, may I approach the bench? As it has come to our attention that Peng claims dominion and ownership over all that transpires here,... well that makes Seanachai his agent. And as this is a role that requires communication, it is the Challenge thread after all, and ipso facto requires that a challenge ie communication transpire (I refer you to M. Shaw's commentary to his lackless lackey Lars) therefore and to wit and whazzat.....Seanachai as Peng's Agent with speaking authority can bind his principle, Peng to the circumstamces of these charges.

Now follow M'lord (Spkr the bottle for M'Lord) that means that under the Doctine of Respondeat Superior Peng is responsible and MUST answer in tort and damges for the actions of the Celtic Bard as if he had committed the offense himself!

Therefore your honor, we amend our plea of "Ni" and add The Old One Peng as accomplice and co-respondent. What is visited upon my client must preforce apply to Peng (unboldened so that he may get a taste of oppribium)

[Lawyer]

**Lawyer slowly wakes up, yawns, and looks around at the same crowd of losers he saw before drifting off to talk legal tactics with the Whiskey Man**

"Ash I were zhaying, yer butt feelin' honor *chortle* my client... ahh who... ahh whazizname... ahh I'm shure he's innocent or guilty or somethin'....

"HEY, WHERE THE FECK IS MY WALLET?? WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS TOOK IT?? I STOLE THAT MONEY FAIR AND SQUARE!!"

Looking over at Joe Shaw wearing an impeccable suit...

"Hmmmmm, I smell a gaseous Rat here...."

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse:

Huh?! What was that? Of course. Spkr quickly the law books. Now what was that doctrine they taught in law school. Ya the one I forgot immediately after passing the bar 20 yrs ago, Agency wasn't it? Of course!

(Rising) M'Lord, may I approach the bench? As it has come to our attention that Peng claims dominion and ownership over all that transpires here,... well that makes Seanachai his agent. And as this is a role that requires communication, it is the Challenge thread after all, and ipso facto requires that a challenge ie communication transpire (I refer you to M. Shaw's commentary to his lackless lackey Lars) therefore and to wit and whazzat.....Seanachai as Peng's Agent with speaking authority can bind his principle, Peng to the circumstamces of these charges.

Now follow M'lord (Spkr the bottle for M'Lord) that means that under the Doctine of Respondeat Superior Peng is responsible and MUST answer in tort and damges for the actions of the Celtic Bard as if he had committed the offense himself!

Therefore your honor, we amend our plea of "Ni" and add The Old One Peng as accomplice and co-respondent. What is visited upon my client must preforce apply to Peng (unboldened so that he may get a taste of oppribium)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

the little man who once was an honorary attorney until he was honorarily disbarred sidles over to defense attorney jdmorse

Cost ya a C-note fer handin' your team another defendant.

[ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[jdmorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

the little man who once was an honorary attorney until he was honorarily disbarred sidles over to defense attorney jdmorse"Cost ya a C-note fer handin' your team another defendant".<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sir,there is nothing 'honorary" in being a lawyer, however we have established what type of man you are, we are only haggling over the price" Spkr I see Jake has again focused his eyes deep in the vast tomes of the law. Why don't you see if the Defense fund has something for this....ah-hem gentleman ? I am sure a "Cost Advanced" against our client's account will suffice.

[Leeo]

"get 'im, jd!"

"Show the bastige his innards!"

"Who's got a light?"

"Has anyone been hunged yet?"

"Programs for sale! Get yer programs!"

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse:

Sir,there is nothing 'honorary" in being a lawyer, however we have established what type of man you are, we are only haggling over the price" Spkr I see Jake has again focused his eyes deep in the vast tomes of the law. Why don't you see if the Defense fund has something for this....ah-hem gentleman ? I am sure a "Cost Advanced" against our client's account will suffice.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmm, thank you, kind sir.

The little man in the wrinkled suit ambles away muttering, "Getting some of the unbolded one's money, yes, the rainmaker likes that, he does. Get some of Peng's, too." Money from the prosecutor, money from the defense. Muahahahaha.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse:

Sir,there is nothing 'honorary" in being a lawyer, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sigh, yet another incontroversial proof that Parkinson's and Alzheimers have merged and are flourishing in the neural net of kaynigits!

32: You are wrong.

d) You are an idiot

What you mean is that there is nothing honourable about being a lawyer - however giving someone and honorary insult when they haven't actually managed to deserve it yet is completely acceptable.

I know you meant badly, but you still deserve a kick in the shins for sheer unadulterated stoopidity.