How The Peng Challenge Was Won And Where It Got Us

[Kitty]

I'll tell you what the worst thing about this new board is. Every time I log in it says "Hello Kitty" at the top left!!! %#^@&%!!!!

It ain't easy being me. >=(

Kitty

[Pzman]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty:

I'll tell you what the worst thing about this new board is. Every time I log in it says "Hello Kitty" at the top left!!! %#^@&%!!!!

It ain't easy being me. >=(

Kitty<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL

[Speedy]

Attn Wildthing,

please send me an email as I lost your email address during a system upgrade.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>LOL<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh well said Rob ... sheesh, these newbies come flocking around (sit down Bauhaus) whenever we open a new page. In the first place, it's not up to the likes of YOU to comment on the comments of Dame Kitty, in the second place, we don't like that kind of talk around here, LOL indeed. Finally, if you MUST comment, say something uplifting (sit ... oh, you are sitting Bauhaus ... very good) like: Could be worse ... your name could be DOLLY!

Joe

[Herr Oberst]

What the bugger is all this?!?

And to top it all off, the scathing post I had ready at work is still there, since the freaking Email to the home Addr didn't come through. So just your luck, you get a general rant.

Sod off!

Oh, and BTW, if your member number (NO Bauhaus, NOT THAT member number...) is more than three digits, you're still a wet behind the ears newbie...

[ 04-07-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

[jd]

Damn my eyes ain't use to this..... took till now to figure we had migrated here. Oh well anarchy is good.

To the barracades, mes enfants!

[ 04-07-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

I fink the MG modelling in CM is crap!! I hid an M1917 behind a cardboard box, and he was assaulted by several companies of German infantry, and he only killed half of them!! WTF?? If 1 MG isn't all I need to win, how am I going to get to the top of my ladder?? I don't understand any other tactics than "Take MG... point MG at bad guys... pull trigger"!!!

Oh and how come they cant run?? When I was 6 I had a BB gun and I could run with that!!! WTF is going on BTS!!! Fix this or I might post ANOTHER thread on the same subject!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

A decent shot at post of the week, but he missed to obligatory "DO SOMEFINK!" when ranting about a particular CM feature to BTS.

[Phillies Phan]

I have a four member number to go with my two digit IQ. I would use my toes to help me count but I cannot see them because of the beer belly. My toenails probably need trimming.

The white background in so different.

[jdmorse]

So member numbers.....perhaps my old one was 666, or prob Berli got that. The Man is still seeking ways to keep the brothers down......

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse:

So member numbers.....perhaps my old one was 666, or prob Berli got that. The Man is still seeking ways to keep the brothers down......<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nope... 40... a lower number than Steve or Madbaldy

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty:

I'll tell you what the worst thing about this new board is. Every time I log in it says "Hello Kitty" at the top left!!! %#^@&%!!!!

It ain't easy being me. >=(

Kitty<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In the spirit of the pool, it should say "Kitty? What the feck are you doing here. Get a life"

[Seanachai]

To say the least, the new appearance of the Board (provided it's not, in fact some sort of flashback/visual anomaly) is a cruel trick to play on a man who, when he last bothered to keep count, had done hallucinogens enough times to qualify as 'legally insane' by the definition of many state legislatures.

It's white. It's very white. It's so very goddman white.

WHY DOES THE GODDAMN BACKGROUND HAVE TO BE SO GODDAMN WHITE?!!

I'm glad I've made my way back here. Just in this, most recent Thread incarnation it is all too clear that the Old Ones need to reasser their guidance. Kudos to Aitken, who's displayed a greater IQ range than the cumulative total of 3 full pages of the most recent posting (other than his musical appreciation, which remains deeply suspect. I am not quite sanguine about David's musical orientation. Having just acquired a new 'Ossian' CD this day, I feel it imperative that people like David be brought back into some sort of fold).

Now, when we get right down to it, WE CAN ONLY FECKING HOPE THAT THE TRANSITION TO THIS HORRIBLE, UGLY, AND DID I MENTION, OVERLY BRIGHT BOARD VISUAL will allow the Peng Challenge Thread to resume it's required, deserved, and indisputable pre-emminence by allowing it to go beyond the rather arbitrary and annoyingly stupid 10 page/250 some posts limit, and once again soar over the heads of cowering sub-rodents.

Oh, and Meeks's cousin: Harpooner, is it? You're a pre-eminent subnormal. Now, it is all too clear that you're using a dictionary. Not, as you should be, to actually verify your spelling abilities, but rather to use words that would never, otherwise, enter your lexicon. And while I applaud the attempts of anyone to 'bootstrap' themselves up to the level of a gopher on the level playing field of the Peng Challenge Thread, I can't help but feel that you are an idjit. A patchwork individual. You show no proper respect.

Prove me wrong. Consult your cousin, if need be, and determine the choices you must make if you wish to be taken as a serious contender, rather than the Peng Challenge Thread equivalent of the boll weevil, just looking for a home in which to prove how useless and destructive you can be.

[MrPeng]

OK

There are far too many things going on here at once for my puny little brain to grok all at the same time.

REAL LIFE has invaded my board life and my PBEM life and then I come here and see this mess...

All I can say is that those who are owed files will get them at some juncture on sunday according to eastern daylight time (which sunday and at what time is still vague), and the rest to whom nothing is owed, they shall get exactly what it is that is owed to them. Others who mayhaps are expecting something that either I or someone else may have promised or currently owe or are in some sort of lessor lesee tennant landlord agreement with may at this juncture in this particular post begin to sod off a bit and not bother us with your expectations and worries and other sorts of things about which I and others have absolutely no interest in or care for or something about or something.

Those who were able to parse the previous statement and are at the same time able to coherently and with malice aforethought convey the nut of the argument to aboriginal human inhabitants or the cat may at this time move to the head of the class. All others may continue to sod off only at a much faster and alarming rate than before.

The rest will please queue up at the other end of the BBS and wait for futher instructions from one of the grogs.[(there are some wags who, I am nearly certain, will point out that some writers pretending to be grogs may point some of the more naieve readers in pointless directions. {this is all well and good and as things should be.} )]and yet there are others who may point out that others may do other things. this is also as it should be but requires less mention for the more informed than more mention does for the less informed.

Then there are the terminally silly...but as we have gone on a bit longer than we expected about these things we are about to cut the thing short.

One last note is that the BBS seems to have gone all out for the emoticons. there are a pack of them floating to the bottom left of the screen. while I am aware that most humans require them in order to communicate, at this particular period in history, I will be unable to participate in any reindeer games as long as these goddam things are right in my face as I type. It is bad enough having to slog through the worthless wastes of cyberfiber that maximus and others of his ilk spew forth in emoticonomy, but this new thing of having all the most "popular" of the goddam little rat bastards stuck securely in the lower left of my screen while i type is just getting to be a little too much for me.

I mean reallly, Matt, I know you are still pissed off at me for the whole Kittly debacle when I pretend quoted her by an anatomically correct word, and I know how much you hate it that typical poolers think of you only as a bald angry worthless wank with nothing better to do than censor input, defend Charle's lousey code and invent mitigating arguments for the MG that cannot RUN and the phantom SturmTiger and the lack of flying body parts ("the PIII can't handle the truth!"), but did you have to stoop to tanting me by forcing the foul little bastards to appear forever at the bottom left of my screen? I guess you did. I guess you are just that much of a heartless and cruel bastard that you have to shove smilies in my face in the name of "PROGRESS" Oh yes the board is much better now that I can insert meaningless little bits of fluff where I am too goddam stupid or lazy or lax or afraid to just say what the hell I mean. Excellent Idea.

Now where was I? Oh yeas, turns out later today to them what needs em, and then one last Penging I think before I become a full time lurker and pederast (no wait! I don't mean pederast, I mean the thing like what that philosopher was that annoyed people, no not the one that buggered innocent children, the other one, GadFly! that's it a gadfly} things have gone to hell what with Aitken starting threads and the new colours.] just isnt right.

Peng

[Seanachai]

SHAW!?

Art there, old mole?

You're right, lad, the Thread is as dull as stale dog****e. The very same quivering gang of little rodents who would, if given occassion, rise up onto their haunches and proclaim us 'dull', have seemingly puffed themselves up and begun to crawl about chittering their imagined virtues and abilities as though they were buying.

I gave them, Shaw, as you will note, every opportunity. I labeled the both of us 'dull', to encourage their own achievements and natural rebellion. I absented myself for many days, like a parent intent on finding out how they would handle themselves, if thrown upon their own devices.

WHAT I FOUND IS THAT THE MOST OF THEM, POSTING ENDLESSLY AND UNINTELLIGENTLY, ARE:

USELESS. DULL. INANE, AND ALMOST MAGICALLY HALF-WITTED!

Shaw, the gods know that you are a tedious and irritating individual. Boring springs to mind, or at least it would, if I hadn't read some of the useless ****e that's been posted by our younger and clearly less capable members since we absented ourselves from the Thread. I would have liked to suppose that you were, in fact, boring. But I can't escape the fact that what I find, on my return , is tedium delivered up with a bad smell, and without salt.

I grow old, I grow old

I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled...

I would like to think, Shaw, that we could, we Old Ones, eventually leave these annoying little ****es to their own devices, and have them make us proud. I see some signs of hope, indeed I do. But not yet enough.

They will always have the Devil, of course, raining smoke upon them and challenging them without concern for who wins and who loses, because Satan always wins, by the very nature of the challenge, and their victories are a sham, forgotten as soon as the smoke dissipates.

They will always have Peng, of course, because I have given them the concept of Peng, and raised it up to be their measure what it is to taunt. Peng himself, of course, pisses upon the useless little swine from quite a great height.

And, Joe, they will always have us. For, as you know, 'Seanachai' means storyteller, or bard. The bard of the Peng Challenge Thread. And therein lies the power of the 'Seanachai'. For he records the deeds of heroes, the passage of those who come after. And lately, it's been a bit goddamn thin. Not many heroes, and certainly not many interesting dolphins chattering by the fish-bucket.

I await their future progress with interest. As 'boring' as I might be, the validation of their participation will seperate the 'hopeful' from the merely 'useless'.

I am, without fear of rebuttal, the 'Darwin' of the Peng Challenge Thread.

And you, Shaw...well, you're a roight bastard, now aren't you? Selah.

[harpooner]

All you cesspoolianos need to lay off my cousin Meeks for a few because he is trying very hard to land a certain high-paying gig here in Oaktown. I lit a fire under his butt. So heap your abuse on me if you are not getting any turns for a short while.

Consider that he is also being pulled asunder by the affections and the afectations of two very beautiful women who demand way too much of his time. He's young. He'll learn how to keep them in line eventually. Meanwhile, they are playing cat's meow with him as the string. I heard him threaten to join the Marines the other day...honest.

He's way too cool for that fraternity. No offense to any jar-heads out there. I'm playing a very fun Wiltz against a nine-year Marine vet who lives in Saipan now.

Both Meeks' and my dad served in the service for long times (10+ years). Why did he turn into a brown-shirted junior-nazi while I'm a tree-hugging, tofu-munching hippy...dunno...but he's not heavy, he's my cousin...much more like a brother since we grew up together.

I started a new job two days ago...so I'm not really hip to post much any time soon.

There are some very amusing characters on this Peng thread. I'd be happy to be sponsored as a squire by chrisl. Who do I have to annihilate to make it to knighthood? Lemmee at 'em...I'll murdalize 'em.

Meeks told me that I just randomly picked out one of the guys he considers among the coolest of you to direct my taunts at, but that just makes it even better...in both of our opinions. So.......... Stuka, and all Aussies you suck platypus eggs on Easter Sunday in your Grandma's pink bonnet. Yeah!! Ah, that feltso good.

Oops, I think I just posted in my pants...gotta go find a tissue...later.

[nijis]

For those that missed my absence, and they are no doubt as few as they are elect, I am happy to announce that I am back from a short tour of the Balkans. While the natives are hopelessly imprecise in their speech -- I was forever having to correct people who were blathering on about "snipers" up the street when in fact they meant "sharpshooters", or in many cases "slivovitz-addled wideshooters" -- I was impressed by the spirit of mutual goodwill and respect for one's neighbor, at least compared to how it is around here. Anyway, in addition to my safe and triumphant return, I have other good news to report.

MR. LORAK!

Nijis -- In possession of the field of battle

OGSF -- Much-whupped south side last seen scurrying northward as though all the blackbirds of Kosovo Polye had mistaken it for a Serbian knightly eyeball

In other news, PeterNZer the UbertankUser is discovering that there's more to an assault than driving a King Tiger back and forth in front of my lines, hoping for me to panic. Dalem, meanwhile, while he may or may not grasp the principle that Loose Lips Sink Ships, almost certainly now understands that Holes in Minefields allow in Undesirables.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

They will always have the Devil, of course, raining smoke upon them and challenging them without concern for who wins and who loses, because Satan always wins, by the very nature of the challenge, and their victories are a sham, forgotten as soon as the smoke dissipates. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sometimes, ya just hafta sit back and say "life is good"

[**YK2**]

Yikes....... Its gonna be hard keeping this new pool clean, its so damn WHITE and BRIGHT

*grabs sunglasses* Ahhhhh thats' better.

:cool:

Ohhh I love the instant Smilies and UBB code, now thats what I call handy

[BFCElvis]

MY HEAD.....UGH...Another drinking binge with Peng followed by this white screen...OH MY HEAD.

The following people are slacker:

Joanna

chrissyl

LEON

David ohmyaikenhead

Mace

Hiram (Phillieboy getting rained out today)

Some are biggeer slackers than others but all are slackers.

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

[QB]

chrissyl

/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Blame AOL--I've sent the file twice already. Will send again in a minute.

While I'm posting, I'll note that I'm about to maintain my perfect record against the attorneys of the pool. The scum sucking bottom feeder jake, in our rematch, has been throwing bad tank after worse trying to get to the center of town in a large, open map. I should note here some of his scumbagous actions: in our previous battles he tells me I'm attacker, and then only after I see that he has more platoons than I have do I discover that it's a probe, not an attack. I beat him anayway, despite being outnumbered (the AI bought me an expensve 8" spotter). In our rematch, he sets himself as attacker and of course makes it an attack. It won't surprise me if it actually turns out to be an assault. He managed to find some easter-egg that Charles his in the game. He set the allied attacker to "armor" and then found the proper combination of keys to hold down so that a new menu item would appear under the german force mix: "worthless wanks without a long range AT weapon to their name". I suspect that he blackmailed Steve with a threat of lobbying against computer wargames. I got 1500 or 2000 or whatever points worth of old men with wooden sticks (not even sharp ones!!) and rocks. There's a bug though, because I also got a KT and an 88 pillbox (not much difference against shermans, except one can move). He's lost or suffered immobilization on all but about 3 of his tanks it seems, where he started with 8 or 9.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am, without fear of rebuttal, the 'Darwin' of the Peng Challenge Thread. And you, Shaw...well, you're a roight bastard, now aren't you? Selah.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Seanachai, don't call me a sheila, I'm a guy ... I may, in point of fact, be the very definition of the word "guy". You, on the other hand (yes Bauhaus that one will do fine), may reference Darwin only as the man who discovered that lower life forms (YOU ... not to put too fine a point on it) may, in time, give rise to higher life forms (sponges, slime mold and lichen). The remainder of your points are well taken. The sad lot that inhabit these nether regions are clearly not up to the task, though, as you rightly point out, some show promise. It therefore devolves upon us to enlighten them and raise the tone of the CessPool and I hereby pledge that I shall do my part in that task knowing, as I do, that you shall not shirk either in our mutual endeavor. With that in mind ... have you noticed that you've lost yet ANOTHER M3 to my mighty UBERHalftracks of Death? Let's see, that makes it about a dozen or so AFVs that you've lost while I've lost ... let me check ... None!

Joe

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

[QB]Nijis -- In possession of the field of battle

OGSF -- Much-whupped south side last seen scurrying northward as though all the blackbirds of Kosovo Polye had mistaken it for a Serbian knightly eyeball<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Widyae look a' wha' tha ' mangy cat dragged ain? Tha beady eyed kabob fondler failed tae mention tha' at were an' assault ain an' infantry engagement tha' provided haim wi' this "victory". Odds were aboot 6 hundred million thousand squillion tae 1. Can we all say "frog ain a bucket"?

Bastaarrd!

Sir MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

[Foobar]

Joe, dont make me puke. Definition of a guy? You???>!!!

Check this out folks. From my squire challenge battle vs Roborat.

1st a REAL man. Sgt Foobar is a freakin animal, taking no prisoners, laying waste to everything in his path..Why he's killed 4 afv's so far!!!

Now we go to a GIRLY man. Sgt Joe Shaw, although having veteran status, has whizzed this battle down his leg. He fell to the first enemy contact, and is seen here running off hysterically into the night.

What a sad sack...

Pretty telling, isn't it?

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Pretty telling, isn't it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>The only thing that's TELLING is who the commanders were. I can't help it if my namesake is commanded by a Princess Di clone.

Joe

[Foobar]

That is so like you Joe. Always passing the buck. I'd like to think we are mature enough around here to leave my resemblance to members of the Spencer family out of this.

Now, I am definitely enough of a commander to take this squire challenge in hand. I will send you the file, if you'd like. You'll be able to see that YOU just plain dropped the ball. That's all there is to it. I put you in a perfect location, unbuttoned, lying in wait for enemy armor. His Panther rounds the corner, and BEATS YOU TO THE PUNCH. All you had to do was pull the trigger. He was 50 meters away. Sgt Foobar was in the tank right next to you, he did everything he could to help, but there was no helping you.

Your performance was pathetic. I hope they catch Sgt Joe Shaw, and send him to the Stalag.