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How The Peng Challenge Was Won And Where It Got Us


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Originally posted by mensch:

<center>Mud Matt = Coward</center>

<center>you git</center>

Kee-rist, mensch, if you can lose to me, of all "people", in three turns, why do you think MrTwitchyLockinThingy will bother at all?

Oh, and I still haven't finshed that report of the Australian breakout of Mace-in-Sheep, but, just like him, it's coming soon.

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"Iskander, creator of The Dullest CM Game Ever" - PeterNZer

"Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS

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Originally posted by Iskander:

if you can lose to me,

ex squeeze me? par don moi? Fie Bitte? lost to you?? you been breathing in your wifes armpit aromas? were still playing you parsley stuffing fish maggot! I think you better take some of my mediction... your starting even to scar me with your statements.

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www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

"So if it is a coy of flamethowers lighting up everything in sight like a Mongolian barbecue chef gone postal, and your opponent is OK with it, PLAY ON!"

-The_Capt

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Originally posted by mensch:

ex squeeze me? par don moi? Fie Bitte? lost to you?? ...! I think you better take some of my mediction...

Details, details... living amongst the Hun has made you anal retentive: let's say this then: you effectively lost to me by the end of the third turn; everything since has been me mopping up and you rushing about gamily.

Better now? Good. Now be a charming fellow and send me some of those meds; my bourbon stash is running low this week --

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"Iskander, creator of The Dullest CM Game Ever" - PeterNZer

"Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS

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dear Tiskemander,

never dance on the fat ladys butt till she belched out that chicken bone!.. you count your chicken feathers before they are plucked huh?

well I reckon I'll save two rocks by throwing that bird at you.. you see my fair lady... I let you think you have lost!

BTW my meds, first are free.. give some to your friends.. tell them I am here if they need some more.

-----------

www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

"So if it is a coy of flamethowers lighting up everything in sight like a Mongolian barbecue chef gone postal, and your opponent is OK with it, PLAY ON!"

-The_Capt

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Originally posted by Croda:

Yes, Harpooner is Joe Shaw, I am sure of it.

Croda, you brainless prat, every idjit on this thread knows that Joe Shaw's alter-ego is yours truly, not that annoying dullard Harpooner. Heck, Joe even pointed it out himself (in an attempt to divert suspicion) in his response to my first post back on the Kinder, More Gentler Cess thread.

Originally posted by Leeo:

Duuuuuuddde...

Heh. Ehhheeeehhheheeh. Heh. Dude.

UPDATES!

Speaking of Leeo, we're finally getting to the pointy and boomy bits in our little tussle. Minor infantry action in the middle, desultory exchange of tank fire (if me shooting at his Hetzer a few times then wandering off in disgust while his TC wonders what's exploding next to him may be termed an "exchange") and spastic artillery fire (mine because my FO seems to be letting his inner Croda read the map, Leeo's because he's using rockets).

My valiant 'zook team has finally destroyed the last of Seanachai's armor. After missing with its first six shots at <100m, the team broke under DF HE. It recovered a few turns later and returned to connect with its last two shots, knocking out the big bully after it learned to believe in itself. There's an important lesson there, but I'm not sure what it is, maybe "hit 'em on the eeeeeeennd" or "buy low, sell high" or somefink. Anyhow, my valiant line of crews and MG jeeps continues to hold his gamey attack force at bay. It's not over yet though: he's got a reserve platoon out there somewhere that I haven't seen yet (reserves! talk about gamey!).

Poor DekeFentle... You'd almost feel sorry for the pounding he's taking if he weren't a contemptable lowlife whose skull I am happily crushing veerrrryyy slowwwllly in a bench vise while playing the books-on-tape version of The Complete Works of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings (read by Eudora Welty).

Croda is whining about me having more men than him or somefink. Return my fecking file, you over-torqued lugnut!

stevetherat seems to have confused "attack" with "play hide and seek." He also seems to have set the timer at only 20 turns, so let's get on a move on, sparky. Chop chop!

Agua Perdido

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Feel the pain of outlaw cinema!

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Originally posted by Croda:

As for the foolish Harpooner, he is obviously not Hamsters. Yes, Harpooner is Joe Shaw , I am sure of it. The scary thing is that Shaw is Meeks' cousing. Ewwwwww.

Nah. Can't be Shaw. I don't think Shaw is capable of rising out of his miasma of dullness to the level of little Harpy. Germanboy is much more likely, he hasn't been posting either. It's possible that GB has managed to pick up a case of BSE and it's turned him into Harpy.

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'Aye, ye'll likely win this one. Much as a fat boy wi' a baseball bat can manage tae kill a frog ain a bucket. Ye'll prolly get a medal an' all.' - OGSF

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Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

stevetherat seems to have confused "attack" with "play hide and seek." He also seems to have set the timer at only 20 turns, so let's get on a move on, sparky. Chop chop!

Didn't I tell you I had a cunning plan, impatient one? Patience is a vitue...

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Originally posted by stevetherat:

Didn't I tell you I had a cunning plan, impatient one? Patience is a vitue...

So is firepower. And I don't think "nap-time" counts as a cunning plan. Wake me when your troop of pre-schoolers are done with their punch and cookies and ready to attack.

Agua Perdido

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Feel the pain of outlaw cinema!

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Originally posted by stevetherat:

tea... scones... arse rag

WOW! I'd heard English food was bad, but that's really awful... does that mean HRH enjoys tea and strumpets?

Heh, heh: it's nice to hear you've adopted my "crawl across the map for 20 turns doing nothing" tactics. You always did seem less stupid than most...

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"Iskander, creator of The Dullest CM Game Ever" - PeterNZer

"Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS

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I fink the MG modelling in CM is crap!! I hid an M1917 behind a cardboard box, and he was assaulted by several companies of German infantry, and he only killed half of them!! WTF?? If 1 MG isn't all I need to win, how am I going to get to the top of my ladder?? I don't understand any other tactics than "Take MG... point MG at bad guys... pull trigger"!!!

Oh and how come they cant run?? When I was 6 I had a BB gun and I could run with that!!! WTF is going on BTS!!! Fix this or I might post ANOTHER thread on the same subject!!!

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Originally posted by David Aitken:

I fink the MG modelling in CM is crap!! I hid an M1917 behind a cardboard box, and he was assaulted by several companies of German infantry, and he only killed half of them!! WTF?? If 1 MG isn't all I need to win, how am I going to get to the top of my ladder?? I don't understand any other tactics than "Take MG... point MG at bad guys... pull trigger"!!!

Oh and how come they cant run?? When I was 6 I had a BB gun and I could run with that!!! WTF is going on BTS!!! Fix this or I might post ANOTHER thread on the same subject!!!

Gets my vote for post of the week! LOL..

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Hey, Meeks!

Send me my fricken turn you pompous windbag!

Just because I am kickin' you ass in a battle which I offered to call a scratch, but you said "Noooooooo.", is no reason to NOT send me my turn!

Now get to it you git!

Jeff

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Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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Originally posted by David Aitken:

I fink the MG modelling in CM is crap!! I hid an M1917 behind a cardboard box, and he was assaulted by several companies of German infantry, and he only killed half of them!! WTF?? If 1 MG isn't all I need to win, how am I going to get to the top of my ladder?? I don't understand any other tactics than "Take MG... point MG at bad guys... pull trigger"!!!

Oh and how come they cant run?? When I was 6 I had a BB gun and I could run with that!!! WTF is going on BTS!!! Fix this or I might post ANOTHER thread on the same subject!!!

Someone's been reading the main board again

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Originally posted by jshandorf:

Hey, Meeks!

Send me my fricken turn you pompous windbag!

Just because I am kickin' you ass in a battle which I offered to call a scratch, but you said "Noooooooo.", is no reason to NOT send me my turn!

Now get to it you git!

Jeff

Yea, me to ya wanker.

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Originally posted by chrisl:

Germanboy is much more likely, he hasn't been posting either. It's possible that GB has managed to pick up a case of BSE and it's turned him into Harpy.

Nope its not Germanboy or Joe Shaw you are wayyyyy off track smile.gif

[This message has been edited by YK2 (edited 04-05-2001).]

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Damn right it's not me! Man, a guy gets a new game (Waterloo - Napoleon's Last Battle) and has connection problems and suddenly he's a bloody lawyer or harpooner or something. The last time I heard, YOU clowns were TIRED of me posting! You were complaining that I was BORING! But what happens when good old Joe takes a day or two off? Oh my, Where's Joe, Where's Seanachai? What shall we do? Bah, you're all filthy swine and not worthy of my time.

Joe

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I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS

HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF

YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR

INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Damn right it's not me! Man, a guy gets a new game (Waterloo - Napoleon's Last Battle) and has connection problems and suddenly he's a bloody lawyer or harpooner or something. The last time I heard, YOU clowns were TIRED of me posting! You were complaining that I was BORING! But what happens when good old Joe takes a day or two off? Oh my, Where's Joe, Where's Seanachai? What shall we do? Bah, you're all filthy swine and not worthy of my time.

Joe

Joe was missing? When? I didn't notice.

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Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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Joe was missing? When? I didn't notice.
Did you notice the M3, Stuart and M-36 my Sdkfz 250/8 put out of their misery? Did you notice that?

Joe

------------------

I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS

HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF

YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR

INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES

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Originally posted by Moriarty:

Blousemouse is resorting to deviously gamey tactics. Large map, large points, few turns. My valiant pommies will continue to eviscerate his blatantly hysterical use of fallschirmgerbils with pointy things.

Spoken like a true wanker. Ummm, I had no control of the map, QB remember? Besides, your men are on a bloody Sunday stroll. I think it's poor leadership on your part. Now sod off and lose.

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Well I, for one, don't approve of the new digs at all! Just look at this nonsense ... smilies right there for your insertion pleasure (sit down Bauhaus ... mind you THAT sounds so much better, glad the lad's back), a bloody INSTANT UBB Code if you please {sigh}. Where's the challenge in that? Where's the tradition? Where's the beer?

Oh, and Lorak, mark this down in the book of books:

jd DRAW

Joe Shaw DRAW

... damn it.

Joe

[ 04-07-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Lorak!

In the epic clash between the vile Mensch and the chivalrous Berli the end result was a...

DRAW!!!!

This proves that Mensch is a gamey bastage<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, yes! Another lance!

Kitty

Ps - bet he had rockets, huh?

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