Joe Shaw Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 {sniff} Ah Agua my lad, I knew in my heart that you'd never desert me. Surely you are the finest and most loyal squire in the entire Pool of Cess. I call the attention of the CessPool to the generous gesture made by my loyal and trusty squire Agua Perdido: To prove my loyalty, I have sent you a new alarm clock. I had it specially made with.. er... highway flares... attached to it, uh, in case of a power outage. You set the time by pressing the flashing red button.Is there a finer example of what it means to be a squire than this? Sadly, lad, I fear me that the clock was defective. When I received it I noted all the ... wires ... and, thinking they were stray packing material I pulled them off. When I pressed the button nothing happened. After much work (you know how an Old Knight such as I can get confused with modern technology) I managed to reset the clock, reattach the wires and send it back to you so that you can receive a refund. I thank you so much for the gift and in return I've decided to purchase a new piss bucket for you so that your standing among your peers will be unsullied. Oh, I hope I put everything back properly on the clock, I was a bit uncertain and I can't guarantee that everything is where it should be, some of the wires were sparking as I re-wrapped it. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Ding dong David Aitken is dead, David Aitken is dead, David Aitken is dead, Ding dong the wicked David Aitken is deeeeead! Hi ho, the merry-o, Which old ho? David Aitken the ho, Ding dong David Aitken is dead!!! He's gone where the Bauhaus don't stand up, Don't stand up, A doo dee doo dee, Ding dong a total topplement, Which old topplement? A total topplement, Ding dong the David Aitken is dead!!! Doo doo dee doo doo dee, Doo doo dee, Dee doo doo dee, Dee doo dee doo doo doo doo dee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Originally posted by Seanachai: Don't know if many of the Real posters here have read them (or if most of the posters here can, in fact, read) but the Peng Challenge Thread reminds me of a rather brutal parody of Sci-Fi writer David Brin's 'Uplift' series of novels. I could, at some length, explain the meaning of this analogy, even to those benighted souls who have not read the original novels. So, in fact, I shall. The concept behind Brin's rousingly fine novels is that no species arises to true 'sentience' without the aid of a 'patron' species. This process of patronage is termed 'Uplift', and by it species win big points in the Cosmos, as well as allies and clients that help secure their own position of dominance. This is a simplistic interpretation, of course, and therefore appropriate for many of the 'pre-Uplift' Squires to be found here. What, are we supposed to consider you and the mighty peng to be the pregenitors then?? HAH!, I, a lowly squire, albeit the senior squire here (why are all those little rodents kicking and biting my ankles??) laugh at this ludicrous suggestion. I would suggest that you two more closely resemble the old, retired species, rapidly approaching extinction. Totally inward looking, talking in obscure parables, and huddling around old, burned out stars for warmth, totally bemused buy the younger, more vigourous races now inhabiting your galaxy. ------------------ "With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal; In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G [This message has been edited by Roborat (edited 03-23-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Drivel. Pap. Not two words stuck together out of the last couple of threads are worthy of gracing the teleprompter of a bad local 6 o'clock news show. With such a mix of yammering newbies, prancing grogs, and established a-holes all banging away at their keyboards like that guy in Loverboy, you'd expect to see at least a milligram of real hatred. A modicum. A tad. A grain. But no. I maintain that if an infinite number of monkeys were to fling an infinite amount of their own dung at an infinite number of bare cement walls, these latest Peng threads would still smell infinitely worse. ------------------ I LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER BATTLE TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS NOW HIS AND I AM HIS SLAVE. PLEASE ABUSE ME AS YOU SEE FIT AND CALL ME A DOO-DOO HEAD. IT IS MY PLACE IN LIFE, I WILLINGLY ACCEPT IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Originally posted by Seanachai: Hell, another Swede. Geier! He's one of yours, take him in hand, or do somefink, will you? I am not responsible for his appearance and I'm not taking him in hand or anyfink else. He might follow me home or worse. Johan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Originally posted by dalem: Wah! Wah!!! Look, it's Peng Jr! How are ya, boy? When, exactly, have you posted anything memorable, you twit of an earless dog? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Originally posted by dalem: Drivel. Nice Sig, Doo-Doo head. I don't see much in the way of Pulitzer material from you either. Think you can just waltz in here like some kind of la-di-dah poofta? Well, bugger you ya fairy. I need revenge on your sorry ass for our last battle you shifty no-account bastage. Send a file or forever be branded a Gamey Ass Coward. [edited to emphasize that my battle with the no-account gamey ass bastage ended in a draw, as there is no way in the seven levels of hell that the earless wonder would ever defeat me.] [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 03-23-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 PBEM Report Hamsters/Meeks is correct – our rematch has ended in a ceasefire as my Challenger crews were a bunch of cowards and kept running away from a measly pillbox 75, or ignoring it long enough to give it the first 17 shots before returning fire. 1-1 so far, now for a tiebreaker. Leeo and I have collided in the dark. My men have scored several casualties from his Sturmgruppe squads, and one or two from their own ranks. Elvis and I are starting out in a snowy scenario. I don't see him, but he can't be that far away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Pool to Gamey Super Freaky, Speedy to his friends and ex-boyfrieds. The file has hit your trailer-house doorway yesterday, and no response. You puss-filled Haggus. I know your quivering in fear and the idea of playing me. You know your coniving and gamey tactics will have no effect. Bring your best, which is soooooo very pathetic. ------------------ Ok, I'm now a squire of the most wonderful and kwazy guy Marlow, but when I finish kicking StevetheRats but around, I'd better be rewarded! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Originally posted by Roborat: What, are we supposed to consider you and the mighty peng to be the pregenitors then?? HAH!, I, a lowly squire, albeit the senior squire here (why are all those little rodents kicking and biting my ankles??) laugh at this ludicrous suggestion. I would suggest that you two more closely resemble the old, retired species, rapidly approaching extinction. Totally inward looking, talking in obscure parables, and huddling around old, burned out stars for warmth, totally bemused buy the younger, more vigourous races now inhabiting your galaxy. Such back talk from a squire, especially to a Knigget. Hmmmmm, the first squire demoted to a serf. Keep it up blowarat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: Look, it's Peng Jr! How are ya, boy? When, exactly, have you posted anything memorable, you twit of an earless dog? All my posts are memorable when compared to yours, you tree-living, toilet paper tube-gnawing, pellet-leaving, shavings-sleeping, habitrail-running VERMIN! And stuff. ------------------ I LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER BATTLE TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS NOW HIS AND I AM HIS SLAVE. PLEASE ABUSE ME AS YOU SEE FIT AND CALL ME A DOO-DOO HEAD. IT IS MY PLACE IN LIFE, I WILLINGLY ACCEPT IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Originally posted by Marlow: Moo! Moo! Send a file or forever be branded a Gamey Ass Coward. [edited to emphasize that my battle with the no-account gamey ass bastage ended in a draw, as there is no way in the seven levels of hell that the earless wonder would ever defeat me.] [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 03-23-2001).] Moo! Moo! Accepted, MarlowCow. this weekend I will wing all the challenges I've been squawking about on their way. ------------------ I LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER BATTLE TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS NOW HIS AND I AM HIS SLAVE. PLEASE ABUSE ME AS YOU SEE FIT AND CALL ME A DOO-DOO HEAD. IT IS MY PLACE IN LIFE, I WILLINGLY ACCEPT IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bamse Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Originally posted by PeterNZer: Bamse even tho you're swedish, I like the cut of your gyb melad. How about a game? Send me a file etc etc. A quickbattle then, I don't want to waste my maps on substandard opponents. BAH! Not so originally posted by Croda: Bamse, I don't know how to taunt! Please show me your brown eye! Do you read at all, or do you only look at the pictures ? Originally posted by Bamse: .............There is no way in hell that i will show you the brown eye so there is no point in asking !................. Not so originally posted by Seanachai: I beg for merci Another picture looker! Originally posted by Bamse: .............You can beg but i will spare no one. Mark my words NO ONE ! Originally posted by PeterNZer: I could make him battle it out on Gilligan's Isle with me.. Great! A substandard opponent on a substandard map......... Nonoriginally posted by Geier: I am responsible for his appearance and I'm taking him in hand or somefink. He might follow me home. Johan Maybe I will follow you home ! Björn Elfström bjorn.elfstrom@mhs.studit.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Originally posted by Bamse: Another picture looker! What do you expect--no one can parse the gibberish you write (well, maybe mensch can, although his turn as menschspeare may have damaged his gibberish converters). Be grateful for the boon of games granted you for the amusing pic manipulations: if the above is the best you can do for a taunt, you'd better not press your luck. That evil Whammy is right around the corner... Agua Perdido ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Originally posted by Agua Perdido: What do you expect--no one can parse the gibberish you write (well, maybe mensch can, although his turn as menschspeare may have damaged his gibberish converters). Be grateful for the boon of games granted you for the amusing pic manipulations: if the above is the best you can do for a taunt, you'd better not press your luck. That evil Whammy is right around the corner... Agua Perdido By the holy Peng, who the hell made you Sister Catherine Sitonastick around here. Since when did the authority to whack anyone with a ruler pass to you, Nasty Water. <Start Dreamwalker sequence> Ummm.....Go and pretend manhood Nasty Water. May the Great Peng somehow not kill you because of your pathetic lack of skills <End Dreamwalker sequence> Perhaps if your riproste has not been so...well wilted it would not have mattered. But until then Aguaman, toddle off and do a little more licking of Joe's......boots, ya boots, that's it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Originally posted by Wildman: I am an inarticulate troglodyte. I'm saving up for a spell-checker, but it's hard to afford with all the green fees I have to pay. If I don't get my handicap down to 15, I'll never make Captain. [*rolls eyes*] Yes, you're quite the judge of "riprostes," yourself, there, aincha? Wake me when you say something clever. Agua Perdido ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 I see you picked up a new word sitting around the D&D table there, Huh? Trog...very nice....almost manly. Kind of like the time you rolled a 20 with your vorpal blade.....WOW!! Even that answer was pathetic and boyish. If you going to attempt to insult me, please at least try somefink worthwhile. Now run off you your Old, Withered, Morman Wife Loving Kaniggit, You pathetic gee I wish I really spoke with an accent 'cause the guys in the poolhall REALLY like it, Squire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 I am sure everyone is waiting with breathless anticipation to hear some news of the progress of Mr. Hamster’s and my PBEM game. Well, the setup is over and setup turn pleasantries exchanged. Setup e-mails Abbott: “Good luck sir!” Hamsters: “Rot in hell you wanker, I hope you die!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Wildman you tarted-up, high fallutin' grease monkey posing as an occifer. If you don't respond to my game challenge posts, I ain't wastin' no more time on you. You go to the back of the line. I've got the likes of Meeks and others dying to die with me, not to mention my destined appointment with Sir Prig who lives (if one can use the term accurately) in Salt Lake Cesspool. It's not nice to mess with Mother Nature or the Lawyer. ------------------ Lawyer's List of Vanquished Poolers aka "The Grateful Dead" jd, Mark IV, Babra, Iskander, (Watch this Space) Lest We Forget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 You know, the disadvantage of living in a CessPool is the insects. I keep hearing this annoying buzzing sound ... I've got the likes of Meeks and others dying to die with me, not to mention my destined appointment with Sir Prig who lives (if one can use the term accurately) in Salt Lake Cesspool.... see what I mean, damned insects, hey Lorak can we Pool our funds (get it? POOL our funds, man I crack myself up) and buy some Raid? Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Originally posted by Marlow: Oh, Sir Alphabet, Your post reminds me. Somehow I never got around to giving you the Thrrrashing that you so richly deserve. Prepare to be vanquished you skirt wearing, small-balled bastard. Wha ye bloated pustule ain a Saracen donkey's buttock, Ah'll be lookin fer tha instrument o' yer shreddin'. Mankey, spankey, wankey, hankey boy. Bastarrrd. MarkIV, ye failure tae drag ye gibberin' sailf oot o' yer blue funk, as showin' ye oop fer tha lint lovin' jellyfish ye are. Send mae a setup, cos Ah'm lookin' at yoo, Jimmy...an' at's causin' mae tae dry wretch at tha sight. Ye're tha lumpy bit's ain tha bottom o' Aqua Poodleshagger's piss bucket. Lorak, ya steamin' lump o' 'Pool sludge...chalk oop tha followin' WIN fer mae... OGSF WIN!!! Mace Pathetic Loser Despite tha gamey bastarrd executing a pincer povement on mah positions wi' two MG jeeps, then sendin' tha survivin' crew members forward ain support o' his frontal assault by an ammoless F.O., Ah kicked has spotty arse back tae Kitty's litter box. Tha rest o' ye, sod off. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD ------------------ You posture more than Marcia Brady with books on her head and you chatter like a dolphin near the fish bucket. - Dalem [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 03-23-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bamse Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Noriginally posted by Agua Perdido: I want to see your brown eye too.... For the love of..... I've got 3286 brown eye mail requests mainly from you Agua Perdido(if that is your real name). I can't stand it, public demand that is.... I'm not giving you any closeupps so this picture have too do...... Hmmmmm! I still remember those nice wetspotts in my cold ass. Yours truly Björn Elfström bjorn.elfstrom@mhs.studit.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Updates that nobody cares about. Mark78976: Soon to be dead. It is a bloody nasty rune thing. rune truely id all things evil. I have about twice as much infantry left ready to finish Markymark as he probably thinks and my armor is in at least as good of shape as his. This has been a fun and horrible thing this game..but it was over before it started because he was playing me. OSGGIBAYF: After doing one of the silliest early in the game suicide missions I have ever seen, he seems to have gotten his testeserone undercontrol and decided to fight like a civilized person. He too will be dead soon. LEON : The game has just started but he is dead. OhmyAikenhead : I haven't even seen the 1st movie yet but already I know he has no chance in this snowy thriller. I am armed to the teeth and have a plan that can't fail. Joanna : This is a strange one that I don't think anyone will win. By game end I predict that neither one of us will have a soul still alive. If we do it will be me with one guy left. Macy : Now that I have decided to continue with our game I feel I must tell you that I am pissed. There is no worse enemy you could face than a pissed Elvis. Consider yourself warned...surrender now. That is all for now. I am assuming that chrisl will still want a rematch and may feel free to send a set up file whenever he wants. Any other of you pikers can just wait until I'm done. ------------------ "When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Originally posted by OGSF: MarkIV, dsf;lkjdfe jdfjaz das;flk, etc. Keep your kilt on, I'm still at work. If I thought killing you would put an end to that grating broguerel you attempt posting in, I would take vacation days to slaughter you even more quickly. I can't believe I have to register my weapons, while you can run the length and breadth of the internet with a sackful of over-the-counter vowels. Watch your mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Bamse sent me a setup and peed his pants, poor lad. I'll toilet train you! Now where's my big stick and vaseline.. PeterNZ ------------------ - Official owner of the sig files of Dalem, Croda and JeffShandorf - Der Kessel scenario design group Combat Vision movies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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