Does Peng Taste Gamey???

[BFCElvis]

An exrecise in semantics to follow....

Goanna, you are going to be the one crying when you discover that you have only seen a fraction of my troops and have run out of your silly arty barrages.

(the semantics play can be displayed if someone doesn't get it on their own)

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"When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Goanna:

Corporate counsel has declined to offer himself for another lesson in humility, so I have room for a new victim. I’m thinking of one that has been around for some time, but has yet to take his turn on my spit. Someone who reeks of offal stuffed into a ewe’s intestine, who speaks like they’ve got their gob perpetually stuffed with deep fried Mars bars and makes the prose of Irvine Welsh seem crystal by comparison. That’s right, I’m looking at you, Jimmy! So send me a set-up or return mine that will be coming directly and I’ll carve up your spotty arse to add to the pile of rotting meat that has become of the other Knights I’ve faced.

Af'n at's mae yer squintin' yer wooden eye at, Ah squint rrrright back at ye. Send mae a setup yer gamey-legged poodle humper, an ye'll be an more ****e than a Werribee duck, more trouble than Ned's sister, two zacs shy of a three dollar note....bastarrrrd. "Goanna" - aboriginal word meanin' "crawlin' bag o' ****e wi' a stick oop at's bum".

SirMacOberGrupenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Elvis:

That is all for now. I am assuming that chrisl will still want a rematch and may feel free to send a set up file whenever he wants. Any other of you pikers can just wait until I'm done.

Since you seem to enjoy things by Rune so much, you might enjoy playing something even more extreme-- Crodaburg for example. I'll send you a setup this afternoon or evening.

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"I HATE THIS GAME, YOU AND THIS SCENARIO" -jd

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

While it might be amusing, in a sick and twisted way, to control you sig and have you speak the TRUTH about me for a change ... I cannot disappoint my loyal and trusty squire Agua Perdido who has expressed his fealty on many occassions, I must, therefore, reject your offer with with scorn it deserves ... specifically ... {pfffffttttttttttt}

Joe

Oh, well, it was worth a try. Though I grieve for the lad, coming into his own in the Peng Challenge Thread with you as his patron. Soon he'll be posting long, turgid, wandering prose that never seems to quite come to any point, and wondering why friends and family slump into resigned listlessness whenever he begins to speak. I will have my revenge, though, Joe. You shall have the particular attention of my own posts, and I shall miss no occassion to comment on all that is unrighteous and contemptible in you. Either topic alone could keep me busy for life; taken together, they represent an Herculean task. But it shall be a labour of love...

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Seanachai's Signature Space:

Please all to note this empty space, scorned by that pompous toad Joe Shaw. Hard to believe that such a posturing lump would pass up any opening into which he might insert his foolish gibberish, at lengths that take away the average soul's will to live upon merely viewing, let alone actually reading. But Shaw chooses not an honest wager, but to clutch at what is "his" with greedy paws, and thereby deny a 'Squire' of the Peng Challenge Thread a better future with a better mentor, condemning him, in time, to become as loathsome as his grasping master.

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 03-24-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 03-24-2001).]

[Abbott]

Dear Mr. Meeks,

I was terribly shocked when I read of the sudden tragedy your cousin Harry endured. http://www.theonion.com/onion3710/hamster_thrown.html I am afraid it is to late to call off the fire of my Jadtiger at your miserable (soon to be routed) troops and half-tracks though, as I had already sent my turn before I had heard of this abominable news.

My condolences sir.

[Joe Shaw]

Oh, well, it was worth a try.

But not MUCH of a try was it, Though likely the best YOU could do.

Though I grieve for the lad, coming into his own in the Peng Challenge Thread with you as his patron. Soon he'll be posting long, turgid, wandering prose that never seems to quite come to any point, and wondering why friends and family slump into resigned listlessness whenever he begins to speak.

Had you ANY sense of decency you would admit to your negligence in not snapping up Agua Perdido when first he showed promise! I was paying attention, you were doubtless still suffering from Lutefisk overdose. As to the quality of his postings, I will grant that I have had a role in that, the crown of the KING of QUANTITY, however, remains yours.

I will have my revenge, though, Joe. You shall have the particular attention of my own posts, and I shall miss no occassion to comment on all that is unrighteous and contemptible in you. Either topic alone could keep me busy for life; taken together, they represent an Herculean task. But it shall be a labour of love...

Oh my, a threat ... what shall I do? I suppose I'll just have to do my best ... to defend myself ... {hehehehehe}. Have At You Sir!

Joe

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I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS

HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF

YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR

INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES

[Guest Wildman]

Ah look squires a real knight joust. Let's sit back and watch.....

....

...

..

.

Is Morman boy still trying to empty is colostomy bag? Where's his squire? Damn that is one lazy lout.

Oh look Seenachoo is taking the field, he hasn't had this much exercise in decades. Too bad he has no squire to breakout the BENGAY creme for him.

What? Oh, that's ok then, I didn't know he and BAUSHAUS were so close. Its nice to know someone will be coddling him in his dottage.

Well, all I can say is that I'm underwhelmed at this mightly? clash of kniggets, perhaps I'll just sit and watch MACE bugger the sheep again, it just about that exciting.

To wake up the Pool.....Game Updates!

Berli, thank Peng that this is a 30 turn attack, or that gamey theif would have stole the battle. As it is I own half the town and the rest will fall shortly. I will present Berli's hollowed out skull, ala Hannibal, for my knigget.

As for my Knigget Marlow, I almost hesitate to post this. The last turn was so awful, so pathetic, so Hiram like, I can only assume that he is providing an example of what NOT to do when advancing on a flank. He managed to lose 2 M36s and 2 M4s in one turn. I did however, cut my trigger finger on that turn. AAR to Combat HQ to follow.

StevetheRat is a gamey, lice-ridden shaved scrotum who deserves to be thrashed by Boy George look alikes while being forces to listen the Kathy Lee Gifford christmas CD endlessly. He gamily brought his Jumbo behind my Tiger and killed it. I have managed to immobilized the beast so all is not lost. The game continues.

Gamey Freak Boy has received his setup and sure as liberals hate a tax cut, I picked random weather and now I'm fighting in Heavy Rain over Wet Ground in November '44 on a Rural map with no road in sight. Not that it matters, I will still crush him like a little baby girly man!

Lawyerninny, has also received his setup. But claims impotence because he's out of town. Right, like I believe him. I'm sure he's on the phone to BTS right now threatening an IRS audit unless they modify the code to let his gamey ass win.

Croda and I continue the "who sent the last file" dance, however, I think its straightened out and my turn will be arriving from him shortly.

A for the rest of you pathetic wastes of oxygen, just sit down eat your "tenderized" lamb mutton-on-a-stick and enjoy the specticale.

[Fuerte]

Bump

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PBEM

[Fuerte]

Originally posted by Wildman:

Croda and I continue the "who sent the last file" dance, however, I think its straightened out and my turn will be arriving from him shortly.

If both of you were be using the PBEM helper, you would never have to do that.

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PBEM

[Moriarty]

Which one of them damned squires or snotbag serfs left the door open?

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"Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change." -- Oddball

"Crap." -- Moriarty

[Joe Shaw]

If both of you were be using the PBEM helper, you would never have to do that.

Fuerte ... you're fired. We don't want YOUR KIND wandering in here with your Main Board comments and suggestions. This is the CessPool, now either insult someone or GET OUT ... and shut the door behind you, you're letting the smell out.

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I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS

HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF

YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR

INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES

[Guest Wildman]

Fuerte, which I can only assume means "I'm a flaming flamer" in whatever is your native tongue.

I and Croda are intellegent adults who have the ability to keep track of more than the shining tinfoil on the ground that distracts you.

<Damnit standup Croda, not in front of the newbie>

We do not need an electronic nursemaid to hold our wee little hands and show us exactly what file to click.

NO we men, we're manly men. Who hit the browse button on our mail program. We search through multitude directories until our wondering, feverish hands click on the correct file.

Beside, I left for two weeks and his file was lost by my mail server. Does your fancy program cover that excuse. NO, I thought not!

So kindly GET THE HELL OUT! you geeky twit.

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Ok, I'm now a squire of the most wonderful and kwazy guy Marlow, but when I finish kicking StevetheRat's butt around, I'd better be rewarded!

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Fuerte:

If both of you were be using the PBEM helper, you would never have to do that.

If they were using little plastic green army men on a pile of dirt and throwing rocks at them they would never have to do that either.

If they quit playing CM and joined a monastery with vows of no computer games they would never have to do that.

If they both ate some badly canned salsa and got botulism they would never have to do that.

There's lots of things they could do so that they would never have to do that. So what's so special about yours?

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"I HATE THIS GAME, YOU AND THIS SCENARIO" -jd

[Abbott]

Germanboy-(snip)even more importantly, less people wandering randomly into the Peng Thread thinking it is an opponent finder...

---------------

I was away from the forum for many months. I had no idea things had changed a bit with this thread. If the above is so, I will finish my game with Mr. Meeks and leave you gentleman to carry on.

[Guest Germanboy]

Originally posted by Abbott:

Germanboy-(snip)even more importantly, less people wandering randomly into the Peng Thread thinking it is an opponent finder...

---------------

I was away from the forum for many months. I had no idea things had changed a bit with this thread. If the above is so, I will finish my game with Mr. Meeks and leave you gentleman to carry on.

Where to? To meet Frankenstein? Gentlemen? Here? Whatever you've been smoking sonny, it ain't legal.

Meeks? Mr.? You've got to be kidding. Everybody and the kitchensink knows he is just a tree full of rats. While I have a bucket of nails on my head.

So there...

What exactly has changed then?

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Andreas

Der Kessel

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[Moriarty]

Originally posted by Abbott:

Germanboy-(snip)even more importantly, less people wandering randomly into the Peng Thread thinking it is an opponent finder...

---------------

I was away from the forum for many months. I had no idea things had changed a bit with this thread. If the above is so, I will finish my game with Mr. Meeks and leave you gentleman to carry on.

Abbott, make no mistake about this thread. It hasn't changed ... well, a little, but not what you're getting at. This thread is all about taunting, denigrating, being obnoxious, rude (in a civil sort of way ... obvious head-nod to BTS gatekeepers and specifically His Bald Immenseness) having a grand time doing so and, most importantly, gaming. We revel in the fight and winning is OK, too. We banter, bait and boondoggle. It is not for the faint of heart or thin of skin.

Some of these guys and gals will give you the best games you'll ever play.

In short, if you decide to leave, do so because consorting with the hoi polloi just ain't your cup o' tea, not because someone said something to which you took offense. Offense is what we do. Defense, too, but that's another matter.

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"Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change." -- Oddball

"Crap." -- Moriarty

[Abbott]

Oh no,offense was not taken. I just did not want to butt into a good group of friends if the intrusion seemed rude.

Carry on you boobs!

[Roborat]

Well, Speedy has managed to come up with a new gamey tactic in our battle. He changes his internet server to a new, attack version that locks up my email, preventing me from loading the attachment, and leaves me unable to access the email message to delete it.

Speedy, keep our battle limited to the confines of CM, and cease spilling out into the real world. In other words, do somefink, and then resend the file.

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"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[MrPeng]

Originally posted by Abbott:

Oh no,offense was not taken. I just did not want to butt into a good group of friends if the intrusion seemed rude.

Carry on you boobs!

JUST HOW FRICKIN DENSE ARE YOU!!!???

Let's just try to unpack your last post in some sort of a way that will at least keep the less docile among the bretheren from pooting themselves and smearing it on the walls:

1. The use of the word "butt" - This is bad... very bad. This is so bad that bauhaus had to have three sedatives instead of his typical single dose to prevent him buggering the nurses outright and with malice aforethought. He is in the quiet room now and the bits of string and rubber erasers we tossed in there will mollify him for awhile. Please refrain from the "b" word in future posts if you would like me to continue to prevent hamsters/meeks(!) from jamming your own nipples in your own ears. Containing them in thier tree is slightly less irritating that hearding cats or being pecked to death by ducks. Should you use the "b" word in here again I shall let them loose on you. (yes, the ducks the hamsters and probably the sewer alligators too).

b. "good group of friends" - this one just doesn't parse. What the hell are you gibbering about here? I cannot for the life of me figure out what this particular gang of four means. Yes, they are all English words, but you have juxtaposed them in such a disturbing and non-sensical way that I have had to demolish a fifth of bourbon just to try to make some sort of sense of them. Do not do this sort of thing again. I will consult with jd at great expense and little profit to see if there isn't some judge he has in his pocket that will fine or jail you for uttering or scribing such strange incomprehensible and obviously seditious material as "good group of friends" again.

11. "rude" OK I need some assistance from some of the gentleworms here regarding this particular bit: it seems we have a bit of a paradox or an oxymoron or some sort of idiotcow thing going here...bud abbott

has come into one of the more rude threads {don't laugh, we all remember the running machinegun thread do we not?}on the bbs apologizing for being rude...

HA! It is really Hiram in disguise! Not the bitter has-been jobless piece of philly rat-dung Hiram that has plagued the board of late, but the original, genuine genuflecting Hiram of old whom did not want to offend - Hiram who apologized for EVERYTHING. the Hiram who nested apologies three deep he was so apologetic. OK just ignore this one because Abbot is really Hiram's thrid or fourth or fifth alternate ego. OK never mind. move along, nothing to see here.

damn, I'm good.

Peng

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That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable

[Mark IV]

And that, squire-lings, piss-boys and girls, wannabes, and passers-by, is why it's called the Peng Thread. Not the deckefeckehedron, nor the abbotoir, nor the leeeooodrome, but the Peng Thread. Doff your beanies (mind the propellers) and bow your brain stems in the presence of Peng.

And take a good look, because I'm about to smash him into jelly.

[Guest Germanboy]

Originally posted by Abbott:

Oh no,offense was not taken. I just did not want to butt into a good group of friends if the intrusion seemed rude.

Carry on you boobs!

A good group of friends - that is almost as funny as debating the merits of pointless numericals in social theory...

Abbott, why don't you just follow Peng outside and play with something poisonous?

Has anyone heard of Geier that sodding piece of trash? Much like him to claim Outlook Express failure (how can that be, the software is crap as delivered already) when I am finally about to nail his rotting carcass to my standard.

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Andreas

Der Kessel

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Wildman:

The Osprey is a MARINE thing and I you pathetic wanker am a vital cog in the WORLDS GREATEST AIR FORCE.

I seem to remember that you were in the AIR FARCE. That puts you well behind the Navy and Marines in effectiveness. As I recall, we [Marines] got nervous whenever 'zoomies' were overhead... you guys have a rep for bombing the wrong side

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Wildman:

Berli, thank Peng that this is a 30 turn attack, or that gamey theif would have stole the battle. As it is I own half the town and the rest will fall shortly.

Let's see... some small VLs have fallen (damn high cost in tanks for you), and my outposts thrown back. So tell me, little man, you got what it takes to try my main defense? I don't think so

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Abbott:

Oh no,offense was not taken. I just did not want to butt into a good group of friends if the intrusion seemed rude.

Good group of friends! *snicker* Friends?

Ha!.. Hahahahahaha. Dude, that's a good one!

[Abbott]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

JUST HOW FRICKIN DENSE ARE YOU!!!???

Let's just try to unpack your last post in some sort of a way that will at least keep the less docile among the bretheren from pooting themselves and smearing it on the walls:

1. The use of the word "butt" - This is bad... very bad. This is so bad that bauhaus had to have three sedatives instead of his typical single dose to prevent him buggering the nurses outright and with malice aforethought. He is in the quiet room now and the bits of string and rubber erasers we tossed in there will mollify him for awhile. Please refrain from the "b" word in future posts if you would like me to continue to prevent hamsters/meeks(!) from jamming your own nipples in your own ears. Containing them in thier tree is slightly less irritating that hearding cats or being pecked to death by ducks. Should you use the "b" word in here again I shall let them loose on you. (yes, the ducks the hamsters and probably the sewer alligators too).

b. "good group of friends" - this one just doesn't parse. What the hell are you gibbering about here? I cannot for the life of me figure out what this particular gang of four means. Yes, they are all English words, but you have juxtaposed them in such a disturbing and non-sensical way that I have had to demolish a fifth of bourbon just to try to make some sort of sense of them. Do not do this sort of thing again. I will consult with jd at great expense and little profit to see if there isn't some judge he has in his pocket that will fine or jail you for uttering or scribing such strange incomprehensible and obviously seditious material as "good group of friends" again.

11. "rude" OK I need some assistance from some of the gentleworms here regarding this particular bit: it seems we have a bit of a paradox or an oxymoron or some sort of idiotcow thing going here...bud abbott

has come into one of the more rude threads {don't laugh, we all remember the running machinegun thread do we not?}on the bbs apologizing for being rude...

HA! It is really Hiram in disguise! Not the bitter has-been jobless piece of philly rat-dung Hiram that has plagued the board of late, but the original, genuine genuflecting Hiram of old whom did not want to offend - Hiram who apologized for EVERYTHING. the Hiram who nested apologies three deep he was so apologetic. OK just ignore this one because Abbot is really Hiram's thrid or fourth or fifth alternate ego. OK never mind. move along, nothing to see here.

damn, I'm good.

Peng

Mr. Peng

JUST HOW FRICKIN DENSE ARE YOU!!!???

Well, Mr. Peng you certainly picked a GREAT time to ask this! My girlfriend happened to read this thread, for the first time if I may add and I seem to have acquired an earful from her about myself as well. Now not only am I DENSE but I am also all of the following;

Stubborn, very smart, unforgiving, warm and caring, gentle, mean, always think your right, soft hearted, sexual, harsh, loud, you listen except when your mad then you won’t listen to anybody…and ten more minutes of Blabbebledy blab blab blab blab! You certainly have made my day, Ha! My weekend you hemipteran, bags of rotting flesh eating Insecta, bourbon slurping nit.

Well after the tongue-lashing I received because of your gamey timing let me assure you MR. PING err..PENG that I am now quite mad. Which puts me in the proper frame of mind to answer this question (refer to the above concerning my attitude when I am mad) Easy enough for you to understand? Oh, not quite getting it still? Humph, what a surprise. Obviously you are wrong and I am not listening!