If I Said You Had a Beautiful Peng Challenge Would You Hold It Against Me?

[Herr Oberst]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Be it known that the forces of good have assaulted Sir Panzer Leader, renowned author of the article series Defending Against the Assault, in mountainous village terrain and have achieved a Major Victory.

Allies: CMplayer 81

Axis: Panzer Leader 19

by autosurrender.

<hr></blockquote>

Like they say, "Those that can, do. Those that can't, write about it."

[snicker/]

[edited for an appropriate Snicker]

[ 12-10-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]</p>

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by phil stanbridge:

This is my first *ever* reply to a Peng thread. I simply do not understand anything about it.<hr></blockquote>

Here, let us help you through the process. Sod off!!!! There, hope that helped.

[Lars]

Took the Axis side, Panzer Leader?

Tsk, no challenge in that.

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

while I'm on the subject of addresses, your location sounds suspiciously like it's ... Australian. We've far too many of THAT TYPE around here already.

<hr></blockquote>

Joe, Joe, Joe, you really should study your 'World Atlas for junior, edition 1952' a little more closely shouldn't you?

Peterborough, I beleive to be more likely in the damp and mouldy 'United Kingdom of Andreas'.

As an Honourary Australian Justicarate I would have expected you to keep your Atlas close to your bosom in case of any sudden confusion on your part.

I have visited Peterborough on several occasions and can testify that the typical Peterboroughian is more than capable of regurgitating the standard of 'post' we have just witnessed.

Mind you, they have some nice pubs.

[Andreas]

Peterborough is the pits. Nice Cathedral, with a ring-road around it. Power station. If you bulldozed the place tomorrow, nobody would feckin' notice or miss it. The only place I can imagine being worse is Doncaster. Well, and Hull, and, err, well, let's just pretend the midlands don't exist, we'll all be the happier for it. I am sure there are other places that call themselves Peterborough, probably in the US and Canada. They never had neither sense nor taste. Urrrggghhhh.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

Joe, Joe, Joe, you really should study your 'World Atlas for junior, edition 1952' a little more closely shouldn't you? Peterborough, I beleive to be more likely in the damp and mouldy 'United Kingdom of Andreas'. As an Honourary Australian Justicarate I would have expected you to keep your Atlas close to your bosom in case of any sudden confusion on your part. I have visited Peterborough on several occasions and can testify that the typical Peterboroughian is more than capable of regurgitating the standard of 'post' we have just witnessed.

Mind you, they have some nice pubs.<hr></blockquote>Stuka ... {sigh} ... sometimes I despair, I really do. Please consider the following:

{W) If I didn't care enough to look up the bloody FAQ thread what makes you think I'd care enough to look up a bloody city?

{A) I don't NEED a bloody atlas in order to tell that's it's some ferrin' city.

{N) All these bloody English names are the same, Stratford on Avon, Perthingwallingsfordshire, Soape On Arope ...

{K) If it SOUNDS English it COULD be Australian and that's bloody well close enough for me.

{E) With a bloody {shudder} hotmail account who can tell.

{R) He's a bloody SSN ... WHO CARES!

Now stop being such a bloody geography grog. And trust me ... there is NO such thing as an Honorary Australian, there's no honor in THAT title.

Joe

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas:

The only place I can imagine being worse is Doncaster.

<hr></blockquote>

Obviously youv'e never been to Middlesborough then?

[OGSF]

Ah cannae stay long just noo, college finals thus evenin'. Hooweverr, There as a Peterborough an' Sooth Australia, nae far fraim Port Pirie, a wee bat inland.

Ah' shud noo, Ah spaint six months o' mah feckin' life an' tha dusty place.

Which ain noo wah as aintainded tae suggaist tha' Joe Ah cudnae play ye jus' noo cos mah bum's chock-a-block wi' ferrets Shaw as correct.

Bastarrrds.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[MrPeng]

Gentleworms:

Woe betide, alas, alack and alarum. Once again a so-called "victory" rings hollow in the hallowed halls of Pengdom.

Joe has the correct accounting bits of it in particular. The computer decided to calcualte a win for me, but as is so often the case - and as this one poignently proves the point again, it is neither about winning or losing the game but how you taunt the other bastard, I LOST, LOST! the taunt. I cracked. I flaked, I bled I cried I took it TOO SERIOUSLY. I, PENG got worked up about a taunting match.

There is no shame in losing the CM scenario you are playing - After all CMBO is a notoriously unbalanced, poorly concieved and even more poorly executed pile of dog excrememt foisted upon an unsuspecting public by the evil swine at BTS and tarted up like it is supposed to be historically accurate and true to life - So NO, No shame in losing the game. But a fortune in glory is bestowed upon the creme de la scum who can taunt his opponent into a quivering pile of whining wombat privates.

And Joe had the better of me in the taunt. The soft underbelly of Peng has been exposed and found to be ticklish and prickish and not quite as thick as it should be. Victory goes to PShaw (although when Lorak gets back there better be a damn askterisk next to The Justicar's name on the Cesspool site)!

Peng

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[BFCElvis]

All the bits are in for my computer and shuld have it p and running when I et home tonight....So turns will be going out shotly to everyone but Lawyer.

[Panzer Leader]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Be it known that the forces of good have assaulted Sir Panzer Leader, renowned author of the article series Defending Against the Assault, in mountainous village terrain and have achieved a Major Victory.

Allies: CMplayer 81

Axis: Panzer Leader 19

by autosurrender.

<hr></blockquote>

Now just a cotton pickin' minute here! You didn't even give me a chance to open the god-forsaken file before running inside to shout to papa what you did??

First of all, if by mountainous, did you mean the large ridge just out of my set-up zone that hid your troops until within hand-grenade range? Or did you mean the long even golf-course slope that was my set-up zone?

By village, did you mean the cluster of hooches that was the targe of a 20 turn 150mm and higher arty barrage?

Oh and by reinforced company, you mean reinforced by the freaking 1st armoured division, charging forward with M10s, Priests, and a few M4(105)'s for luck??

I consider 18 points pretty good, and I am proud that out of over 300 troops, only 45 were cowardly enough to surrender to your gamey Amis. I think the only survivors were those dastardly luftwaffe FLAK crews anyhow. My Hitlerjugend died with a smile.

However, that said, you definitely didn't do anything stupid enough to allow me even the slightest chance of victory, so all in all, you were a great Allied commander, ya GIT. I consider this loss to be an insult and a slap in the face, and I DEMAND A RECOUNT!! Failing that (you're prolly a Republican too, I've read your posts made outside the asteroid belt -- 7-Eleven indeed) then I demand a re-match!!!!!

I will not be satisfied until my superior quality (if suffering from the idea of mass production and "general issue") troops have reduced you to a blubbering pool of kittens mewling for mama...

This time, its gonna be ALL puppchens and flakveirlings, forget that SMG crap!

Stupid GIT...

[Too irate for one go]

[ 12-10-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]</p>

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

All the bits are in for my computer and shuld have it p and running when I et home tonight....So turns will be going out shotly to everyone but Lawyer.<hr></blockquote>

It must be terrible to be so poor that you can't afford to use every letter on your keyboard!

Mace

{edited because I found the funds to purchase an additional 'e'}

[ 12-10-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[Stuka]

Have I told you lately that I love you, Elvis?

[Panzer Leader]

And another thing, that tank DID exist, the poster proves it!

[Lars]

Ooh, Panzer Leader, you're really in a snit.

Should have taken Allies.

[Panzer Leader]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:

Ooh, Panzer Leader, you're really in a snit.

Should have taken Allies.<hr></blockquote>

Yes Lars we all know you beat me defending AS the allies, but as I have no respect for you or your ilk, it doesn't bother me. Sorry, not irate.

[Lars]

S'ok, Panzer Leader, just can't miss an opportunity to put the boot in.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Having spent DAYS trolling thru the last few stinking OFFICIALPENG MBT's conducting INTENSE and MEANINGFUL research, as of 11am Perth Time, I have pleasure in announcing the WINNER of this year's All BTS Forums' HOAX Award (HOt Air Xtreme):

With 4,708 uplifting posts to date it is ...... [drum roll] ........ [/drumroll] from the good ol' ...... (gasp, I hear you say) UK - ANDREAS

Fer yer continued edifukation, th' full table of results woz as follows (apart from Madmatt of course - who was not included in this survey for reasons that may be obvious to SOME of you):

NICK POSTS COUNTRY

ANDREAS 4,708 UK

SLAPDRAGON 3,562 US

BERLICHTEN 2,795 US

JOE SHAW 2,212 US

MACE 2,164 AUS

SEANACHAI 1,676 US

MR SPKR 1,659 US

PANZER LEASER 1,613 US

STUKA 1,462 AUS

BULLETHEAD 1,432 US

PAWBROON 1,315 FRANCE

CMPLAYER 1,237 SWEDEN

HAKKO ICHUI 1,016 US

SIMON FOX 995 AUS

MORIARTY 989 US

HERR OBERST 856 US

DALEM 829 US

ELVIS 785 US

MR PENG 778 US

SODDBALL 762 UK

RUNE 724 US

LAWYER 671 US

SPEEDY 621 AUS

GOANNA 577 AUS

BAUHAUS 561 ???

GEIER 541 SWEDEN

YK2 499 UK

OGSF 471 US

JD 443 US

LARS 437 US

LEEO 418 US

AGUA PERDIDO 280 ???

AUSSIEJEFF 178 AUS

HIRAM'S GHOST 145 ???

HANNS 105 US

NOBA 93 AUS

PATCH 6 ???

20 US, 7 AUS, 3 UK, 2 SWEDEN, 1 FRANCE and 4 ALIENS who couldn't be bothered putting their feckin' country of origin in their profiles! Have ye' no pride??

And if I missed anyone in that lot, you'll have to wait till next year, so SODD OFF!!

A cheque for US$50,000 will be winging it's way to you shortly, ANDREAS. Spend it [smirk] wisely [/smirk].

And just in case I don't feel like posting any more crap in this festerin' pit this year, I shall wish ye all a MERRY XCESS!!!

Usual warm, fuzzy regards,

The Foz

{This post edited to include an Instant Irritating Graemlin for personal pleasure only)

[ 12-10-2001: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]</p>

[Lars]

No, no, no, AussieJeff.

Only Official Cesspool posts count, ya git.

Now go back and count again.

{that should keep him out of our hair for awhile}

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:

No, no, no, AussieJeff.

Only Official Cesspool posts count, ya git.

Now go back and count again.

{that should keep him out of our hair for awhile}<hr></blockquote>Ohhhhhh, Well done Lars.

Joe

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:

No, no, no, AussieJeff.

Only Official Cesspool posts count, ya git.

Now go back and count again.

<hr></blockquote>

Droll, LARS ..... very DROLL!

YOU DIDN'T READ THE POST PROPERLY now, DID you??

It say's the All BTS Forums HOAX Awards, you tosser. I wonder what the ALL means? Believe it or not, I too have a LIFE and don't want to spend the next 3.799 MILLENIA trolling through the MILLIONS of wondrous, strange smelling PENG MBT's posted thus far ...... however, if you wish to dispute these OFFICIAL and INDESPUTIBLE findings, feel free to devote the REST of YOUR life to the task!!

Yours somewhatcondescendinglybutnottoomuch,

AJ

[Not edited out of spite.......]

[Herr Oberst]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

All the bits are in for my computer and should have it up and running when I get home tonight....So turns will be going out shortly to everyone but Lawyer.<hr></blockquote>

Hopefully Elvira, you'll get a decent keyboard with the new parts, one that is self-correcting for the unsuspecting owner....

[Stuka]

At least he left his 'thingey' out of it this time.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Droll, LARS ..... very DROLL!

YOU DIDN'T READ THE POST PROPERLY now, DID you??

It say's the All BTS Forums HOAX Awards, you tosser. I wonder what the ALL means? Believe it or not, I too have a LIFE and don't want to spend the next 3.799 MILLENIA trolling through the MILLIONS of wondrous, strange smelling PENG MBT's posted thus far ...... however, if you wish to dispute these OFFICIAL and INDESPUTIBLE findings, feel free to devote the REST of YOUR life to the task!!

Yours somewhatcondescendinglybutnottoomuch,

AJ

[Not edited out of spite.......]<hr></blockquote> Lars, would YOU like to point out that his opening paragraph was: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Having spent DAYS trolling thru the last few stinking OFFICIALPENG MBT's conducting INTENSE and MEANINGFUL research, as of 11am Perth Time, I have pleasure in announcing the WINNER of this year's All BTS Forums' HOAX Award (HOt Air Xtreme): <hr></blockquote> or shall I?

Joe