Hakko Ichiu Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 Once again, the Bald One of Exquisite Taste has chosen, me, your humble servant, to start the latest incarnation of the Peng Challenge Thread, the Mutha-Beautiful Thread That Will Always Be There. In victory I am nothing if not magnanimous, therefore, just as I give a biscuit to my beagle after I thrash him for messing in the garage, so I throw a bone to the dull-witted dogs of the 'Pool. Herewith the rules: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Adapted from Joe Shaw, but brought up to some basic standard by me: Hitotsu. Thou shalt sound off as if thou possessest a pair, that the 'Pool shall prosper and be fruitful. Part the First. Thou shalt not sound off ABOUT thy pair, nor about politics, nor racial, sexual nor ethnic crusades, lest you find disfavour in the eyes of the Bald One. I. Bring not the unclean from the Outer Boards into the Sanctuary, lest you be subjected to foetors of Strines and other unclean things. 1. Thou shalt not have congress with Scum Sucking Newbies (SSN), nor shalt thou bow down before Grogs nor worship them, for that way lies the Kaos of the Outer Boards. Alpha. Remember the place of the Peng Challenge Thread and keep it upon the first page, 'nuff said. Primus. Honour the Olde Ones, the Senior Knights, the Knights and the Squires … ignore the Serfs and vilify the SSNs, for that is right and just. Aleph. Thou shalt enter not into the 'Pool without bearing a challenge of mighty taunting, for that is whole purpose of the exercise. Item. Thou SHALT give false testimony about thy fellow CessPoolers, and give them gamey play and insults and bile and taunts, for that renders some modicum of amusement value. Numero uno. Thou shalt not covet thy fellow CessPoolers record, for wins and losses are not OF the CessPool, for the 'Pool is not some fecking ladder. Verily those that walk in the way of the CessPool shall fall in and they SHALL be wet, so if it is thy wish to remain dry ... SOD OFF! <hr></blockquote> Happy now, ladies? Let the taunts fly and the floaters float. [ 12-07-2001: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 Bauhaus sit down! When Hacking Achoo said hold 'it' against him he didn't mean .... IT!!!! {edited because...well, just because} [ 12-07-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jev.Dk Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 Wheeee 3rd in a Peng, never been here Never done before............. Mace my Love!!! You sorry excuse for a ex-husband. I spit at thee. I still havent recived any child support. May you dream of broken electric razors and whatnot. I fart in your general direction. You will soon hear from my Lawyer. And btw look in the mirror you cheater, you dont belong in a thread this beatiful!!! Disrespectfully Jev.dk AKA Fluffy The Sheep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Jev.Dk: Wheeee 3rd in a Peng, never been here Never done before.............<hr></blockquote> Some things are best left undone. I'm sure you are expecting this, but just in case you aren't... SOD OFF! Mace, your herd is wandering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 Harumph! They say past indiscretions come back to haunt you! But, past indiscretions you know nothing about?!! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soddball Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 That's the funniest Peng title I've seen in AGES. Looks like competition is finally bringing you guys back to form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Jev.Dk: Wheeee 3rd in a Peng, never been here Never done before............. Mace my Love!!! You sorry excuse for a ex-husband. I spit at thee. I still havent recived any child support. May you dream of broken electric razors and whatnot. I fart in your general direction. You will soon hear from my Lawyer. And btw look in the mirror you cheater, you dont belong in a thread this beatiful!!! Disrespectfully Jev.dk AKA Fluffy The Sheep<hr></blockquote> Macey, I have to look at you in a new light... Forget all those old remarks about how much of a bufoon you are, how you congress with animals, etc, etc, etc. * waves hand imperiously * What I want to know is how you taught a sheep to type! Miracle of miracles. [ 12-07-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 I am nothing IF NOT FAIR! I added the last in caps since some clown is bound to edit everything but the first three words out. I have four points of analysis: (Left) It's NOT bloody fair, is what it ain't. The last time I hosted two threads in a row you'd think the bleeding Queen had been violated or something, but when Hakko Ichiu does it ... NOTHING, not a word. SLACKERS! (Up) This title SUCKS, I mean it REALLY sucks. (Forward) Good rules, damn your eyes, in fact even better than the ones I did and that's saying something. I wish to especially call attention to RULE "I" ... Seanachai. And that's the truth or as close to it as I choose to make it. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: And that's the truth or as close to it as I choose to make it.<hr></blockquote> You, sir, are not an Olde One! Therefore you have no say in what is or is not truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: You, sir, are not an Olde One! Therefore you have no say in what is or is not truth.<hr></blockquote>Fiddledepoop Berli, there, I said it and I'm glad. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: (Left) It's NOT bloody fair, is what it ain't. The last time I hosted two threads in a row you'd think the bleeding Queen had been violated or something, but when Hakko Ichiu does it ... NOTHING, not a word. Joe<hr></blockquote> Stop whining, Joe. I for one simply thought it was allergy season, what with Achooey hosting the past two threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: Bauhaus sit down! When Hacking Achoo said hold 'it' against him he didn't mean .... IT!!!! {edited because...well, just because} [ 12-07-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]<hr></blockquote> Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 Right you suckers. In the spirit of the season (and I am not talking 'fat blokes who may or may not be paedophiles in red but certainly do unspeakable stuff with moose' sort fo spirit), I have done what Germans like to do come mid-December. Decided to go to Belgium. Since I can not go in a tank, I decided to bring a bit of the festive spirit to the Americans by building a scenario in which the Germans get stuff, to advance down one of these new-fangled diagonal maps, and use it to kick the living daylights out of the gum chewers, who also have stuff, in order to defend themselves from the vicious kicking that Fritz (incidentally, the name of my grandpa and my nephew) likes to inflict on gum chewers. You know what happens when a bunch of Fritzs with stuff hits upon a bunch of Valiant Defenders of Democracy™ with stuff but without B52s or Marines? Well, someone will get stuffed. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Because it could be you. SSNs need not apply. Battle will be ready tomorrow. I need two of you losers to give it a go PBEM. Oh, did I mention that SSNs need not apply? Finally I found a use for this hierarchy thingy. Email in the profile. Get cracking. Prove that there is a reason you deem yourselves part of humanity. Don't make me go all medieval on you lot again. On the double. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas: Right you suckers. In the spirit of the season (and I am not talking 'fat blokes who may or may not be paedophiles in red but certainly do unspeakable stuff with moose' sort fo spirit), I have done what Germans like to do come mid-December. Decided to go to Belgium. Since I can not go in a tank, I decided to bring a bit of the festive spirit to the Americans by building a scenario in which the Germans get stuff, to advance down one of these new-fangled diagonal maps, and use it to kick the living daylights out of the gum chewers, who also have stuff, in order to defend themselves from the vicious kicking that Fritz (incidentally, the name of my grandpa and my nephew) likes to inflict on gum chewers. You know what happens when a bunch of Fritzs with stuff hits upon a bunch of Valiant Defenders of Democracy™ with stuff but without B52s or Marines? Well, someone will get stuffed. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Because it could be you. SSNs need not apply. Battle will be ready tomorrow. I need two of you losers to give it a go PBEM. Oh, did I mention that SSNs need not apply? Finally I found a use for this hierarchy thingy. Email in the profile. Get cracking. Prove that there is a reason you deem yourselves part of humanity. Don't make me go all medieval on you lot again. On the double.<hr></blockquote> Fiddle-de-sticks! I am an all-american, german-heritage, butt-kicking gum-chewer. What have you to say to that! Send your worst, make me the Germans, and give me a warm body to pummel. Enuf said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Fiddle-de-sticks! I am an all-american, german-heritage, butt-kicking gum-chewer. What have you to say to that! Send your worst, make me the Germans, and give me a warm body to pummel. Enuf said.<hr></blockquote> Funny you should mention this, Herr Knackwurst as I just a few minutes ago e-mailed Andreas about this very same setup ... and your name figured prominently in the message. Well, actually, it was either you or Sneezy Ichiu. Guess I'll save him for dessert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted December 8, 2001 Author Share Posted December 8, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Joe Shaw emitted the following from an unidentified orifice: (Up) This title SUCKS, I mean it REALLY sucks. <hr></blockquote> <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>After many years of deep meditation, Soddball achieved enlightenment with the following words: That's the funniest Peng title I've seen in AGES. <hr></blockquote> It is in the nature of Great Art™ to engender controversy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: It is in the nature of Great Art™ to engender controversy.<hr></blockquote>It is also the nature of Great Art to take more seriously the opinion of a Seniour Knight and Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread than that of some slimy SSN. I thought you were a loser when I hammered your U.S. tanks into useless rusting hulks covered with snow and I think you're a loser now ... more so now. "Beautiful Peng Challenge" indeed ... talk about your oxymorons. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 Sometimes these assembled gits just don't git it. OR that Mr. Sneezy is trying to pull a fast one. If the mad bald one had indeed sanctioned this new thread title, would he not have closed the previous thread to keep the Cess from overflowing the tank? Hmmm??? It clearly says "300 Post Limit" on the side of the tank, yet the thread is not locked, and several of the poolers have yet to realize this fact. Instead, they keep returning to the same old thread to post their tripe, all the while oblivious to the fact that the cess is overflowing. You'd think that they have no more brains than enchanted brooms carrying pails of water for Pete's sake. By the way, who is this notorious Pete, and why are we supposed to be worried about his condition? The only Pete I have ever known was a total ass, and no amount of coersion could make me care about him one whit. Anyhoo, with the Dalwhinnie kicking in, I have only this to say: "Good title, bad title, or indifferent title, this is our Cess, and we must splash in it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 Gentlworms: Joe's RELENTLESS mewling and whining has worn me down to the point at which, well, hell, I give up. I don't care anymore what his damn title is. I only hope that we can at some point before the next millenium ends finish the game at which we have been flailing lo these many months. PShaw obviously is completely retarded - he never grew up out of the phase that children go through in which they punish their hapless parents with unceasing demands and unending pestering over the most minute trivia. Those of you with children may recognize this phase as the one that lasts from the time that they emerge all yucky and gross out of mommy's tummy to the time that they stop borrowing money. For some that lasts upwards of 50 years. Fine, Joe, BE the drain commish in PERPETUITY. Just remember to send a turn, any turn, from any game you ever played, maybe every third month or so, so that we may actually finish this game by the time my children stop asking me for money. Or not. I am past the point of caring. Whatever, Joe. Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Joe's RELENTLESS mewling and whining has worn me down to the point at which, well, hell, I give up. I don't care anymore what his damn title is. I only hope that we can at some point before the next millenium ends finish the game at which we have been flailing lo these many months. <hr></blockquote> Bah I say, and Bah again. I dare to defend myself against the slings and arrows of outrageous Peng and I am vilified for my trouble! But all recognize the truth Peng, that you were WRONG and WRONG again not to admit it. And all of this ... unpleasantness ... could have been avoided had you just ... ASKED! I've one word for you Peng ... Plastics ... damn ... The Graduate ... good film though. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Bah I say, and Bah again<hr></blockquote> Oh Mace, he's calling you (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Oh Mace, he's calling you (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more)<hr></blockquote> Don't worry, I'm awake to his games! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 8, 2001 Share Posted December 8, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: Don't worry, I'm awake to his games! Mace<hr></blockquote>Speaking of GAMES ... specifically GAMEY games, it is my sad duty to report to the CessPool that there has been no Justice for the Justicar, the Commissioner is Down the Drain and Mudville is once again without joy. jd ... {pause for hisses ... no, go right ahead, be my guest} ... with a GAMEY last minute flag rush, GAMEY edge hugging tactics and GAMEY Detailed Armor Hits ON has gained a narrow, very slight, almost imperceptible tactical victory despite the fact that I surrounded the only VL ... stupid game. Didn't help that my ONLY armor got a gun hit on turn one ... stupid game. Joe Shaw: Loss, kind of jd: Deservedly lower case win ... the lower case is deserved, not the win ... and after all I've done for him, that's gratitude for you. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted December 8, 2001 Author Share Posted December 8, 2001 To: Madmatt From: 'Pool Re: Close the old thread The old is above the new. This upsets the harmony of the universe. Feck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted December 9, 2001 Author Share Posted December 9, 2001 Nothing to see hear. Just keeping the Universe in balance. Move along. Feck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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