Herr Oberst Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: tee..tee-hee..teehee heh haha, muahahahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Enjoy that one Stuka. It is a pity your flatulent wharf rats can't call in those 14 inchers (YE GODS, SIT DOWN BAUHAUS!! SOMEONE GET THE BRICK AND HURRY!!!) during our battle. True, I have used up all 320 rounds of artillery I had available, and those piss-poor spotters could only manage to level one building with it. One frigging building!!! I really, really wanted to see the church go boom, er BOOM with your Amis in it. But I shall have to content myself with surrounding your little rats and convincing them that a jump into the Cesspool and drowning is preferable to the death that is in store for them from my Gerbiljaegers... JShan-yes-I-know-my-StuH-is-dead-dorf, you shall have to come and get me. The StuH's were supposed to level the buildings you were hiding in. Given that that will not happen, you will have to come visit me in my buildings... the welcome MG is open... Barbara Walters, the setup is back at you, and now all that remains is finding out where your (eeewww, is that a French fag, er flag I see flying over your side of the battle??), ahem, little men are hiding, and erasing them. The French indeed... Is this some attempt to justify your hidden admiration for those people that taught you that "Real mensch eat quiche???" Perhaps the villagers will be able to feed your carcasses to the hogs or somefink... ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken: Seanachai wrote: Who can forget the scene where he extends the hand of friendship to Aitkin, a failed Scot Now that's a stooping a bit low mister, even by your standards. I may not be much of a Scot, but it's hardly fair of you to accuse me of being Australian.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now, David, please understand, please understand that I didn't want to voice that accusation. It was your whole disagreement with YK2 over the Glaswegian dialect that forced my hand. You came out on the side of the Tommies, David. On the side of people who would arrive on another planet and begin looking around for people to exclude from the clubs. And my standards, David, well, they're simply not in question. They are the very highest. I hold all of you to standards that even the best of you are unlikely to reach without my aid. But, David, be assured, there is a place for you in the world that I envision. It is a world that includes Aitkin. Especially the lovely artwork, which we're all so enamoured of here in the Peng Challenge Thread. It's just your disturbing prediliction towards correct English useage. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But if we accept your approach, what shall we do with the French? The Australians? None of them can manage English in a way to satisfy an English Peer. Unlike yourself. But have we taken a close look at the English peerage lately? In order to give the nod to the Germans, the French, and most especially, the Australians and New Zealanders, we have to go with a more forgiving standard of English. That can only mean we go with the Scottish Extreme Useage. Not only is it lovely in itself, but it sends the message that 'English is spoken here if you can figure it out, you sodding lumps of porridge' (I shan't even try to recreate that most disarming of all English useages, I haven't the Broad Scots). Now, David, do not pout, and accept that the standards of your nation are being applied to all posts here in the Peng Challenge Thread. Our motto is, 'If the French, Germans, and Australians can understand you, you're probably Scottish; and so yer welcome to post here, ya' pillocks'. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once. There is only one Stuka on this board, and thats me. There is another, the artist formally known as Stuka who now travels as Von Shrad. The first 20 times this mix up occurred it was amusing, the next 20 times it became dull, now it irks me more than Mensch's warped presentations of my 'alledged' personel e-mails. Mensch, you know I am no more 'pommie' than you are 'human'. However, Herr Eye-Burst, should you wish to see how a real man handles his 14", perhaps you would do me the honour of a challenge. Size does not matter {Sit Down, etc} as my new Athlon system arrives this weekend, drool, drool, geforce GTS card, 19" monitor hahahahhahaaaaaaa! Goodbye pentuim 200 w/voodoo 2, hello real world! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: Hear Ye! Hear Ye! and all that rot... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmm, mefinks there was a bit more Jaegermeister is that glass than I supposed earlier this evening... Just to show you there's no hard feelings, I shall wing a setup to you, poor Stuka-chu... ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: e-mail from stuka starts Hey morning greg, man that was a funny post last one.. boy mace must be pissing himself over that one. But I must realy tell you I was offended that you packed me up with those Aussies Peter and Mace.. cuz well to tell you the truth.. I'm a pommie.. but shhhh don't tell anyone!! ...not like that looser Seanachai.. boy hes a hot head when you pop one of his tanks..lol.. ps.. realy don't post I'm a pommie.. well as we say in England I'm one of the Lads. garsh I miss the lads at the pub eating fish and chips and downing a Guinness email ends from the pommie down under <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This is an obvious and rather pitiful forgery. Isn't it sad enough that the man is Australian without portraying him as pretending to be Australian? Not to mention that Stuka and I have never actually competed in a game, so he would have no clue as to how I would behave should one of my AFVs be brewed up. And to characterize me as 'hot-headed'? Well, only the dementia that has all but claimed poor Mensch's ability to reason at all would come up with something like that. Stuka, while rather horribly enamoured of references to his 'wedding tackle', is, so far as can be determined, an actual Australian. We even have it on good authority that he was left by his family in the outback for several days, having first been rubbed down with ground sausage, but the dingos apparently gave him a few sniffs and snout nudges, and then, despite starvation, emptied their stomachs over nearby vegetation. Several were found dead nearby, apparently prefering death to actually incorporating his essence into their own, even if only by digestion. What is most horrifying about this post by Mensch is the fact that his posts are becoming more coherent, yet at the same time more delusional. It is impossible to determine what Mensch sees when he looks out at the world around him, but several trained psychologists posit that it's like an endless loop of Disney's "It's a Small World After All" ride. May God have mercy on his soul. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues [This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 12-12-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: French warfare?! I do believe that is an oxymoron<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well yes. Even though my French inner Croda is fidgeting all over the place to point the fact that I was refering to Napoleonics... Let's change that to French Welfare. ------------------ Our motto is, 'If the French, Germans, and Australians can understand you, you're probably Scottish; and so yer welcome to post here, ya' pillocks'. Senility Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 Sorry, I forgot an interesing footnote on the 'Stuka abandoned/exposed to dingo predation by family' story. Apparently when word of what his family had done got out, True Crime maven and pseudo-journalist Ann Rule flew immediately to Australia to interview Stuka, his family, and local authorities, with the intent of writing a scathing expose of the Australian national pastime of setting out babies as dingo bait. After meeting with local authorities, she reportedly softened her stance. After meeting with Stuka's family, she changed her focus and decided to title the book 'Necessary Sacrifices'. After exposure to Stuka himself, she changed the title to 'Required Sacrifices', and apparently went so over the top that the publishing house cancelled the whole deal. After the publisher pulled out, she confined herself to writing a series of articles on dingos for natural history publications, characterizing them as "filthy, shirking little refusniks who should be rounded up and tortured to death for failing in their duty to clear the landscape of carrion and evolutionary dysfunctions." ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I was refering to Napoleonics...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah! Napoleonics! France's moment of glory... let's see... A Corsican took command of the Army (and the Government)... had a few years of success... and then got slapped down by the... GERMANS! That last bit seems to be a reoccuring theme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 12, 2000 Author Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken: Seanachai wrote: but it's hardly fair of you to accuse me of being Australian.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bloody oath it's unfair! Only a lucky few are blessed to be part of the greatest nation of the world, Australia (to quote a classic line: Australia, Australia, Australia we love you! *Amen* Crack another tube!) Besides David, you could never be an Australian. If you were you would contravene our prime rule: no pooftas Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 Swedish Telecom has risen to the challenge and thrashed my phone line. I'm real proud of them. I'm moving this weekend, to a nice little cottage by the sea and will begin plotting Nasty Things immediately. The files I sent out on Sunday seems to have been corrupt (not much new there) and some ppls delicate machinery was unable to handle them. I await your apologies for using such useless hardware. There is a strong possibility that no new corrupt files will be forthcoming until early next week, if I can be bothered I will attempt to send you to your graves even earlier. I loathe, despise and hate you, etc etc. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bastables Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: I was refering to Napoleonics...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah! Napoleonics! France's moment of glory... let's see... A Corsican took command of the Army (and the Government)... had a few years of success... and then got slapped down by the... GERMANS! That last bit seems to be a reoccuring theme The Germans are not even required to be mentally stable when slapping the French, as evidenced by Marshal Blucher’s belief at Waterloo that he was pregnant with a white elephant. Hitler was just as mad from eating paint chips from his 'student' days. [This message has been edited by Bastables (edited 12-12-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: Besides David, you could never be an Australian. If you were you would contravene our prime rule: no pooftas Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Tch Tch, come away from the neighbours fence, Macey. You know its not nice to discriminate against the heterophobes. And shawn-sheep-poochy, well if those taunts of yours weren't a challenge disguised as a challenge, then, well, I'll just have to accept it as a challenge! Roight then, here's the deal...Me: new system arrives this weekend OK? Time to familiarise with new system then Blam!, you dead OK? You: Surrender now, you know its the roight thing to do. ------------------ Torture you? That...That's a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 Rightyo. The Day you nippleheads have been waiting for is nigh. That's right, I'm finally going to start returning files again. I am going to take a shower, go for a lovely walk along the Thames, eat some healthy and delicious fresh fruit, perhaps take a refreshing crap, and then I will get down to the serious business of swapping your feet with your ears. You may all commence cowering. ------------------ Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 Why is it that just when I start to get a head of steam in a thread, the padlock fairy floats in and sprinkles padlock dust on the thread? I just can't get a break. I would like to say for the record that I have absolutely nothing to thank Andreas for, except for telling me that I rock, though I haven't the benefit of the German education system, and cannot for the life of me figure out why it is that I rock in this particular instance (though many others do stand out). I would also like to thank all of you 'Poolers who stood by and watched my slug it out with Heideman without so much as a "Kick his ass, Croda!" I mean ****, where's my flank attack, you bunch of Aussies, and Pommies, and Canucks, and Sheep Shaggers, and miserable minstrels, and ugly Americans, and dislocated foreigners of all persuasions. I couldn't even rely on the Frenchman!!!! (Well, I guess I could have seen that one coming...) Or more importantly, my Frenchman's girlfriend, the runaway Scot! Crap, does anyone on this board live where they're supposed to? And speaking of crap that doesn't live where it's supposed to and is on its way to take a refreshing crap: Chupacabra is back. Notice my enthusiasm. You can't see me to see how enthused I am? Well picture a man in a coma with tubes coming out of everything, that's about it. At least now I get to see his tank go boom-boom. In other less exciting news, it's the orders phase of turn 1 of my 5,000 pointer with The Bastard, and what does he tell me? "I can see you!" Well no ****, sherlock. There's no damned cover on the map. Should I line up a battalion of infantry behind the tree? You may be able to see me, but you're gonna have to do a lot of shooting to kill me. My large game with Peter is underway as well. He has lost a HT and is about to lose a company of infantry...he just hasn't looked up yet. Don't fret now Peter, it's too late. If you press Play, you die. Sucks doesn't it? It shouldn't be too painful, treeburst 120s that land right above your head will shred your men so fast, that they probably won't feel a thing. Muahahahahaha. That's payback for the new sig. And for the record, Hiram and I called a cease-fire, not that you really give a damn. The important aspect is that I WON!! 50-somthing to 30-somthing. Chalk me up with another...I can feel the momentum kicking in. Hating you all, I remain, Croda ------------------ WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: Hear Ye! Hear Ye! you would do me the honour of a challenge. Size does not matter {Sit Down, etc} as my new Athlon system arrives this weekend, drool, drool, geforce GTS card, 19" monitor hahahahhahaaaaaaa! Goodbye pentuim 200 w/voodoo 2, hello real world!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> you Pommie surrender in our current game.. since your troops are aimlessly crawling in the dirt like good worms... my god you don't even have a VF yet! and were what 2/3 through the game now??? burning tanks and routing troops.. what a show me lad.. oh wait I know what your doing.. your pulling me in a false sence of security just to pull the rug out from under me..ya.. last few rounds you'll throw out your dead and make me feel pitty for the poor little pommie that you are. I have one for you you.. snip! you like big? you like things that go boom? then me lad let me baptise you in ST.VITH file comes soon after your surrender... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: This is an obvious coherent write up, yet at the same time more a master of work! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Gee thanks sweet buns... I like you too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: Besides David, you could never be an Australian. If you were you would contravene our prime rule: no pooftas <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Manly Men doing Manly Things, you just killed a small animal, it's time for ... Fosters? Five words you little wank: Priscilla, Queen of the desert The only good and true thing to come out of OZ. Ever. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 OK to all the people I insulted here or tried doing so... I admit that I've susccumbed to the charms of these things as readily as the next man, Am in no wise superior to the riffraff I've rubbed shoulders with for lo this year. I'm human, aren't I? If that makes me a hypocrite, then so be it. Sometimes, you just have to bow down in awe. A person comes up with an idea that no one has ever thought of, an idea so simple and perfect that you wonder how the world ever managed to survive without it. The suitcase with wheels, for example. How could it have taken us so long? For thirty thousand years, we've been lugging our burdens around with us, sweating and straining as we moved from one place toanother, and the only thing that's ever come of it is sore muscles, bad backs, exhaustion. I mean, it's not as though we didn't have the wheel, is it? That's what gets me. Why did we have to wait until the end of the twentieth century for this gizmo to see the light of day? If nothing else, you'd think roller skates would have inspired someone to make the connection, to put two and two together. But no. Fifty years go by, seventy-five years go by, and the people are still schlepping their bags through airports and train stations every time they leave home to visit Aunt Rita in Poughkeepsie. I'm telling you, friends, things aren't as simple as they look. Th human spirit is a dull instrument, and often we're no better at figuring out how to take care of ourselves then the lowest worm in the ground. Whatever else I've been, I've never let myself be that worm. I've jumped, I've galloped, I've soared, and no matter how many times I've crashed back to earth, I've always picked myself up and tried again. Even now, as the Darkforces of evil (seanachai, stuka, heck mace) close in on me, my mind holds fast and won't throw in the towel. Okay, snicker if you like. If I gush, I gush, and that's all there is to it. It feels good to let the purple stuff come pouring out sometimes. Does that make me a fool? Perhaps it does. But better that than bitterness, I say, better to follow the lessons of Santa Claus than to spend your life in the claws of deceit. Sure, I know what you're thinking. You don't have to say it.. I can hear the words in your head, mein herr, and you won't get an argument from me. Wherefore this floundering?, you ask yourself. Where fore this flopping to and fro, this rolling in the dust, this lifelong grovel toward annihilation? You do well to ask these questions. I've asked them many times myself, and the only answer I've ever come up with is the one that answers nothing. Because I wanted it this way. Because I had no choice. Because there are no answers to questions like these. No apologies, then. I've always been a flawed creature, a man riddled with contradictions and inconsistencies, the tugs of too many impulses. The man with the voices in his head, the one who sometimes managed to listen in on the conversations of stones and trees, who every now and then could turn the music of the clouds into words. Pity I couldn't have had the chance.. But seanachai is telling me.. what? "you're ****ing bonkers, you know that?"... I guess I should go then. O Lord of the ten thousand blast furnaces and dungeons, Oth the pulverizing hammer and chain-mail gaze, Dark Lord of the salt mines and pyramids, Maestro of the sand dunes and flying fish, Listen to the prattle of your poor servant, Dying in the pool of Peng And headed for the Great Beyond... [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 12-12-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 OHMEINGOTT! Schnell!! Someone grab a brick, I've got his meds. Faster, we are losing him!!!! Seanachai - you should have known, you can not accuse Mensch of being normal without the most direst of consequences!!!! ------------------ Andreas <a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a > Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 12-12-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 Ummmm..... Any takers on that one? ------------------ WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 To quote the football player in the Campbell's Soup commercial who is watching his mom fight with an opposing player's mom... I ain't goin' near dat!!! ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 12-12-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 Croda sad wreck of a man I would have supported you in another thread if I had agreed with you. But, I didn't and I didn't. I was tempted to taunt you a little, but withheld my knock knock jokes. Your sig makes me chuckle. It must suck to be you. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: The suitcase with wheels, for example.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Great. Another flippin' brainhole trying to wheel his farging little suitcase down the skinny little airliner aisle in front of me. Don't cretins like you realize that those things have a moment arm five times longer than the non-CM-thingies you no doubt dream about every night? And NO wheel base to handle it? It took 'this long' (I guess I'm supposed to type sit down bauhaus now, even though I don't really hate him that much yet) to realize an idea as lame and French as the suitcase with wheels because the only way it could slip through the cracks in the armor of common sense was if the whole world was taking a deserved quick rest after the 'failure' of Communism (doesn't something have to succeed before it can truly fail?), the death of "Cats", and the marginilization of Jerry Lewis. So rest assured that while you're looking back over your shoulder and apologizing to me for bashing my shin into your womanly-wheeled valise, I am wishing you dead. [This message has been edited by dalem (edited 12-12-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 On second thought, Mensch was one of us, and may yet again... what to do... What to do... Friends, Enemies, and 'Pooligans, I come here not to save Mensch, but to bury him. For only in his death, can he be revived. Sean-a-gee-willikers-what-did-I-do has wounded him gravely with those kind words he spoke. It is up to us to bury this foul incarnation of Mensch, To glory in his downfall, and hope that from the well of Death and Despair shall flow a new Mensch, better suited to survival in the Cesspool Needing strong magic to counter those vile words spooken by the Serpent himself, I go back to a master: Mensch, Thou artless hasty-witted dewberry... Thou ruttish half-faced puttock... Thou fawning doghearted baggage... Thou errant boil-brained flirt-gill... Thou art a wretch whose natural gifts were poor. Thou errant swag-bellied measle... Thou roguish dread-bolted coxcomb... Thou impertinent whoreson skainsmate... Thou art as tedious as a tired horse, a railing wife, worse than a smoky house. Thou burly-boned guts-griping gudgeon... Thou rump-fed ronyon... (SIT DOWN BAUHAUS!!) You are as a candle, the better burnt out... Would the fountain of your mind were clear again, that I might water an ass at it, or a Croda, or a Meeks... What trick, what device, what starting-hole canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent shame? Buck-up ye stupid git, and snap out of this foul rancor... I shall live to knock thy brains out!!! ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted December 12, 2000 Share Posted December 12, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: I am wishing you dead. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> woof I say!...you want to know what a dog's philosophy of life is, pal? I'll tell you what it is. Just one short sentence: "If you can't eat it or screw it, piss on it." on that note I piss on you and give you words of wisdom, but I can't. Punch epigrams, succint pearls of wisdom, Polonious delivering his parting shots. I don't have it in me to do that. Neither a borrower nor a lender be; a stitch in time saves nine. There's too much mayhem in the attic, dalemsy, and you'l just have to bear with me as I ramble and digress. It seems to be in the nature of things for me to be confused. Even now, as I enter the valley of the shadow of Peng, my thoughs bog down in the gunk of yore. There's the rub, signore. All this clutter in this Thread, this dust and bric-a-brac, these useless knickknacks spilling off the shelves. Indeed, sir, the sad truth is that I am a bear of but little brain. Before you break down and weep, my friend, let me add Seanachai is a sham concoction, a fraud. He has never inspired the readers so much as bore them into submission. For the first few reads it would seem to be good but as the Thread expands the sleepyness would set in and the eyes glaze over - as if a curtain of boredom had fallen over your head. But enough. Enough of this tedium. Enough of this Seanachai. We all read this junk, but now it's nattering of childeren, isn't it; and who the hell cares anyway? Wallpaper, that's what it is... Background music. I can bring back fifty-one thousand details, but so what? It won't do you or me an ounce of good. Understanding. That's what I'm after, chum. The key to the Puzzle, the secret formula, Egg Powder! It's all flit and fume, my boy, a bellyful of wind. The life and times of JR Kennedy, Eleanor Rigby, Rumpelstilskin. Who the **** whats to know them? The Pet Shop Boys, the Blues Brothers, Rory Calhoun. Captain Pillet with his trusty sidekick Snitt and the Four Amigos. The Wu Tang Clan, Life and Look, the Tompson Twins. There's no end to it, is there? I just don't mean obvious things like turkeys from Turkey or chili from Chile. I also mean pants from France. I mean pain from Spain and pity from Italy and checks from Czechoslovakai and fleece from Greece. Patriotism has its role, but in the long run its a sentiment best kept under wraps. Yup those Yanks have given the world the zipper and the Zippo, not to speak of zip-a-dee doo-dah and Zeppo Marx, but they also are responsible for the H-bomb and the hula hoop. It all balances out in the end, doesn't it? Just when you think you're top gun, you wind up as bottom dog. Just pick a thing, and chances are a case can be made for it. The splendor of bicycle wheels, for example. Their lightness, their spidery elegance, their shining rims and gossamer spokes. Or the sound of a manhole cover rattling under a truck at three in the morning. To say nothing of Spandex, which has probably done more to spruce up the landscape than any invention since the underground telephone wire. I refer to the sight of Spandex pants plastered across the behind of a young chick as she strides by you on the street. Need I say more? You'd have to be dead not to warm to that. Now were is my pencil I just got an Idea for a new Toaster. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 12-12-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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