TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

[bOh, and OGSF you manky Scots git. OGSF dozes off..Your slanderous attacks on me are the clearest proof, should any be needed, that so much of your brain is occupied with translating your remarks into your assumed Scottish patois, that no synaptic bandwidth is left for any higher intellectual functions, such as recognizing appropriate targets for your gibberish and attempts at challenge

That said, should you insist on continuing your spittle-spraying in my direction, I shall have to check my rather busy PBEM schedule to see if a slot might be found for you, as you might be light enough to make the team of my opponents...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Errr, couldya nae come agin? Ah'm at a wee bit of a loss tae knoo if ye gwin tae step up fer a thrrrashin' at mah gnarly hands, or af'n yer ainly warmin' up tae a frrresh glass o' creme-de-menthe.

Ah kin imagine at noo....Shawnicky gazin' intae tha middle distance, "Alas poor Yorick, Ah knoo ham, Horatio...eek! Tiger! Tiger!"... as mah wee little Hotchkiss comes clankin' o'er hill an' dale.

Ye could enter tha Guinness Book o' Records fer bein' tha largest inflated bagpipe skin wi' a wee tear in it.

Af'n ye got a pair, send a setup mah way.....cos Ah'm lookin' at yoo Jimmy!

MacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

[This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 12-13-2000).]

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

btw, how's the cross-dressing going, Geier?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Just beautiful thank you. Now piss off.

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Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[PeterNZer]

YES! Lorak please note a DRAW between myself and that boy of Germanic Persuasion, yes, GermanGit. In a mighty battle the game decided to fudge the results and give me a draw, even thought I don't hold any of the VLs or have a chance too hehe. Obviously it's the engine recognizing the inmate superiority of my German troops and providing them with the moral advantage they deserve.

As for the rest of you. Marlow, I feel a draw coming. You seem to think you're doing real well after cutting up one platoon and some useless damn halftracks (damn PC buying crap for me). Unfortunately I have a lot more just waiting for you, and if you don't move, some punishment approaching. Things will be bloody.

Elvis send that file back! I want to be the one to break your winning streak over my knee of justice. If you handle the rest of your armor with the incompetence you showed in how you handled your last lot it will be over quickly.

The rest of you can send in your turns faster.

PeterNZ

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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas

"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon

[This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 12-13-2000).]

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

I smell. All shall flee before me.

That is all.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

fasinating that, remindes me of a lad called Furtell.. he honestly had a smell, well how could I describe it, like a wet rat. much like your smell chuppy. You see the trick for him was, to smear three soaked rats over his body to nutralized the smell. This produced two things.. he smelled like a wet cat which smells better then a rat and often scratch and bite marks from the furry little roadents, you see it appears they don't much like being rubbed over someones body much less more so on a

Furtell body. For you case me boy try a soaked goat it may nutualize that smell.

On the topic of Fondu and Toe-cheeze, do you wonder why Limburger cheeze smells so bad? I do! it all goes back to 1265, a man name Limbah he was a burger of a small town in Austria. You see me lad, he to had a problem, it was his wife. so the man bought a dog and it scared his wife away to the point she forgot to tell her man that she left the cheeze in the pantry... this cheeze started to smell and mold thus making blue cheeze... so you see it has nothing to do with Limbburger Cheeze at all... where was I, Oh yeas.. so spud.. grab yourself a block of Blue Cheeze and a wet goat and have some fun.. I'm off to braid my eyebrows now.

[Croda]

Lorak, please note for all to see:

Croda - Win

Hiram - Loss

It is indeed a grand (and rare) day when such triumphs can be posted!

And let it be known that I shall hallow your return to the 'Pool from Shangri-La with the sacrifice of dalem's earless, clawless dog. Not dead yet, but darn close.

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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

And let it be known that I shall hallow your return to the 'Pool from Shangri-La with the sacrifice of dalem's earless, clawless dog. Not dead yet, but darn close.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Cromag, the only thing dead so far are your poor Hun slobs that you sent skipping into your own mortar barrage.

Clever, that. I laughed so hard that I forgot to designate all my proper Target lines on the survivors. Enjoy my slip-up for the nonce.

I remain Hatefully Yours,

I BE KICKIN' YO ASS!!!

p.s. thanks for trimming Sten's claws - he needed it.

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

...the only thing dead so far are your poor Hun slobs that you sent skipping into your own mortar barrage.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The price of pressing the attack.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I BE KICKIN' YO ASS!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's a bit slow on the board today, so I'll deal with you.

My ass is as unkicked as it has ever been. I lost 2 men to my own arty on the assault. This means I took that VL with only 2 casualties...not too bad, considering I've now flanked your position. Your men in ambush have taken no toll as yet. Your gun nabbed a HT, a very small loss. Now your entire platoon is cut off, surrounded, backs to the wall (literally) and will soon be very dead. I give them 2-3 turns max, at which time I will have completely and utterly turned your right flank. You have not shown your armor yet, for fear of losing it early I'm sure. The weight of a company smashing your right will hurt badly. So, by all means, please continue this kicking of my ass. I will go back to kicking your dog.

Humbly and hatefully yours,

Croda

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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 12-13-2000).]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

I give them 2-3 turns max, at which time I will have completely and utterly turned your right flank.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Speaking of turned flanks, I am reminded of another of Cpt. Croda's battles, where his flank is being turned, marinated, tenderized with a mallet, and slowly cooked over a mesquite fire.

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We are fierce historical inaccuracers

- PawBroon

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Speaking of turned flanks, I am reminded of another of Cpt. Croda's battles, where his flank is being turned, marinated, tenderized with a mallet, and slowly cooked over a mesquite fire.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That flank hardly counts since it was diabolically constructed and put in the field by your sponsor. Therefore, all references to this flank, or it's lost couterpart, are hereby injoined. New flanks will be shown to you at a later time, in a later PBEM, and those flanks shall be of my choosing and much less prone to Rune's quirky nature.

Besides, I still have a Puma left.

------------------

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[PeterNZer]

Hmm, it seems that there's some Dalem guy/girl/it hanging around here STILL.

What's more he's abusing poor little Croda, the lowest of JDmorse's two squires, (me being the other squire, and obviously the best).

Even though many of us have ignored him he refuses to leave us alone and like a little spaniel is metaphorically humping our leg with a twinkle in his eyes and drool on his lips.

Well GET OFF YOU FILTHY MONGREL! There's only one way to fix this lad and that's to challenge him to a game, the metaphorical equivelant of a large wrench to the back of the head.

So, Dalem leave that fire hydrant alone and send me a setup. I like amusing battles such as 3000pts of computer bought armor, but I shall leave the details up to you.

Since you are revolting as a life form unto me, I call this challenge a Mighty Sig Battle where the winner shall dictate the sig of the looser. I was just warming up with Croda's.

PeterNZ

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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas

"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon

[This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 12-13-2000).]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Besides, I still have a Puma left.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I was wondering about that. What did you do, bog it down somewhere? My bazookas out on the board edges haven't seen it yet. No matter, it will just go the way of the rest of the CrodaWagons once I find it.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Therefore, all references to this flank, or it's lost couterpart, are hereby injoined.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Better talk to your sponsor about that one, my little Dalem's Dog Eared Boy, you "case" doesn't meet the requirements for an injunction. Among other things, you must show likelihood of success on the merits, and your chance of success on the battlefield is less than that of Boy George at a biker bar. Your complaint that the battle was designed by see spot rune is frivolous and without merit. Your sponsor, through a binding contract, agreed to the terms and conditions of our little contest.

Other battles the litigious one and his minions continue as well.

On the Morsian front, things go well as Lawyer boy continues to feed his infantry into my kill zone, with predictable results.

Only PeterNZ has provided me with a challenge. (As an aside, I must agree with Peter that this computer selection stuff sucks. All I heard from other s was "it’s a challenge to let the computer pick your forces" BAH, What crap. All I get is one vehicle with a decent gun (an M8), and Peter cheats and blows it up before it can do a damn thing.) Luckily Peter's "lets charge bazooka's with light armor" trick has evened the playing field on the armor front. A draw may be in the cards.

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We are fierce historical inaccuracers

- PawBroon

[mensch]

Lorak!! my boy.. hey nice looking pinstripes! TELL THEM ALL!

MACE yes mace the two wiggly ended worm has lost to ME!.. It must sux to be him.

Talking about sucking have you ever listened to the sound of vacum cleaners... they say alot. an not just alot of squat stuff that Proonie french man spews out... no sir're!

you see like the vacum cleaner Parmbroom is very much like a Hoover.. so such as the president of the United States of America Mr. Hoover he too likes to wear a Bra and Panties...

Where does this bring us? well you don't have to tell me.. your right! Tennis balls!

If it were not for Tennis Balls we, well would not have any Tennis Games! logical no? come to think of it my shoes are tied to tight.. I come back later with the wonderful details of that battle MACE so lost.

[jdmorse]

I rouse myself from my existential angst (which redoubles after reading munches stream of consciousness) to parade before you the good, the bad and the ugly, mostly bad and ugly....

Unfortunately, many of my worthy opponents have either been gone on holiday (some still are) or we have been at the beginning of various setups. The usual suspects follow:

Anubus has returned, like the dry desiccated Imohotep he yet lives. So I welcomed him back with a long distance shooting match resulting in the brewing up of one of his "ronsons", I look forward to sampling more as he has thrown together a motley bunch of mixed national tanks in our armor fest.

Marlin brags about how he is handling our game. He is engaged with a platoon, and hides his armor behind in the woods. Since we are in a foggy wonderland, sighting is abit of a problem. But Kurtz's pet needs to remember, his advantage is only on 1/4 the front.

Croda has treated me with all the respect on a rabid testosterone filled hump happy mongrel dog that cannot control his bladder. Our Opedial contest lingers on as he hopes for some recount to allow him to have a go at his mom. Well sorry sirrah, I am afraid those chads just won't hunt. So it is a slow, shoot die, and shoot some more as his frenzied banzai charges just mean that I have more bodies to bury.

uselessGit and I are inthe early stages. Our armor seem to like to engage in mutual annilation. One bright spot is the sterling performance by my, err... I mean his airforce. With three passes completed, there has been 2 look around and wave at the ants on the ground passes and a nice bracketing of one of his Shermans truddling along in the rear areas. My troops were greatly cheered by the flyboys appearance and a great huzzah issued from their lips. Tommyboy learned that hiding in a prominent building that happens to be sitting on a Targeting mark is hazardous. Can we say boom? Unfortunetly, we are playing under v1.1 and they were in process of skeddaling, so casualities are uncertain. Under 1.05 probably 1/2 the platoon would have been toast.

Deadrty as he says is excelling in figuring how to lose. True the AI pimped him, bunch a munch of Stuarts against my Panther and Stug. ummmmm can you say s'mores, cooked in the fire of his burning tanks? However, the most gratifying was the result of his attempt to put a three way squeeze on the Panther. One died as it drove down the road, probably as a sacrificial lamb (which I did), but another on a wide flanking manuver snuggled in between two buildings to get a flank rear shot. Unfortunately, I had moved my PzV out of his LOS. Remember the scene in the hokum Stars Wars with the Ewoks? A landstrider is squished by two logs smashing from either side. So here. Remember those two buildings? They each had a hidden squad with panzerfausts. Whoosh, they each fire. Boom!

Chupcakes has at last returned, but it has been so long it took me several minutes to even figure out where the hell we are. Oh yeah, he is dying alot™ but like Cruddite , is prolonging the agony for his own sick amusements, much as Caligua did. Aussiefaced continues to muck up my KT treds. We are playing a rune evil version of the Battle of the Bulge tank battle. Kt's v Chaffe's. I am waiting for him to find the barrels of gasoline and start rolling them down the hill. Francoisboy is taking his leisure on the Champes E'lysse and slow about returning the most recent turn. Ah gallic efficiency. TheMinnesotaBard besides composing very beautiful and touching poetry, is slowly applying his probe with ever increasing pressure. Ouch! Finally Andreas, may I call you Andreas, and I have entered into negotiations as to whether the current game is worth playing.

That is all

JD, esq

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

Ye could enter tha Guinness Book o' Records fer bein' tha largest inflated bagpipe skin wi' a wee tear in it.

Af'n ye got a pair, send a setup mah way.....cos Ah'm lookin' at yoo Jimmy!

MacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROFLLLLLLLL OGSF, your posts never fail to make me laugh, I can almost hear your broad accent as I read through them. BTW, Hello Croda,Seanacoochiecoo and Hiram, didnae ye fret am still aroon ye no, jist couldni be bothered posting till noo......

Now thats something, me a genuine Scot and OGSF does a better job than I. Maybe he could give me lessons.

OOPSSSS, my sincere apologies for such an unforgiveable mistake.

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PawBroon, French and official supplier of sig since 1968......

[This message has been edited by YK2 (edited 12-13-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

How so very precious.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

So, Dalem leave that fire hydrant alone and send me a setup. I like amusing battles such as 3000pts of computer bought armor, but I shall leave the details up to you.

Since you are revolting as a life form unto me, I call this challenge a Mighty Sig Battle where the winner shall dictate the sig of the looser. I was just warming up with Croda's.

PeterNZ

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You poor croc-poaching bassid. I accept your challenge and will happily send you a 3000-pt random bumper-car fest. How random though? I assume you want clear and dry? As to the sig challenge part of it, squint your syphalitic gaze at your screen and you will see that I've never used a sig. We hates 'em, My Precious, we hates 'em forever. Sigs are for the low of character, and the jutting of brow (they look good on you, though).

Give me a proper CM-stomping and maybe I'll use one constructed by you for, say, a month. My end of the bargain, when I crush your clattering wagon train into dust, will be to continue to ignore you as I've done so far. That seems fair to me.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Lorak, please note for all to see:

Croda - Win

Hiram - Loss

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

and add:

Mace - Win

Berli - Loss

Mensch - Win

Mace - Loss

(and what a loss, the worst score of my CMBO life. It was embarrising folks! This is is the one where you don't ever wish to talk about it. The one where you sweep it under the carpet! The one you lock up in a safe and throw away the key! The one.....oh, you know!)

Mace

[jdmorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

(and what a loss, the worst score of my CMBO life. It was embarrising folks! This is is the one where you don't ever wish to talk about it. The one where you sweep it under the carpet! The one you lock up in a safe and throw away the key! The one.....oh, you know!)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahh Mace, what do you suppose your score will be after my KT's KO your AFV's and occupy the VL's. Hmmmmmmmm, about as much as a gnat's wing I'd reckin.

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram

[This message has been edited by jdmorse (edited 12-13-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

I saw this from the daily fix. Thought it was amusing:

Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly-man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt." The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright frock the captain led his mates into battle and defeated the pirates. Later on, the look-out again spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again vanquished the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The captain replied: "If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid." All of the men sat in silence and marvelled at the courage of such a manly man.

As dawn came the next morning, the look-out once again spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching. The rank and file all stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo calmly shouted: "Get me my brown pants."

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[PeterNZer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As to the sig challenge part of it, squint your syphalitic gaze at your screen and you will see that I've never used a sig. We hates 'em, My Precious, we hates 'em forever<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

sounds like a deal. Filthy slimy little thing. Almost like a croda but with a stronger oder of fish i think.

And as for 'what shall we play?', What part of 'send me a setup' don't you understand?? If I wanted to medle in details I'd read Senachi's posts.

PeterNZ

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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas

"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

And as for 'what shall we play?', What part of 'send me a setup' don't you understand?

PeterNZ

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I do believe the two of you should tackle Crodaburg! Who shall I send it to?

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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

OOPSSSS, my sincere apologies for such an unforgiveable mistake.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROFLLLLLLLL.

Boy those who actually had the time to read your original post will now wonder about the social intricacies of your Pool life love.

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Our motto is, 'If the French, Germans, and Australians can understand you, you're probably Scottish; and so yer welcome to post here, ya' pillocks'.

Senility

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:

ROFLLLLLLLL.

Boy those who actually had the time to read your original post will now wonder about the social intricacies of your Pool life love.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LMFAO what with OGSF, my mistake, Hirams Joke, and now your post, I am almost wetting myself laughing..

Did I really say that?

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PawBroon, French and official supplier of sig since 1968......

[Croda]

Sweetie, I feel so neglected. I missed your original post and very much feel on the outside looking in. Being your adopted American, would it be too much to pass along the brunt of the joke so that the rest of us can laugh with you?

Feel free to email me personally!!

DOH!!!! I missed it again!

------------------

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse:

Ahh Mace, what do you suppose your score will be after my KT's KO your AFV's and occupy the VL's. Hmmmmmmmm, about as much as a gnat's wing I'd reckin.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That one's not yet completed, Jaded Horse!

There's still time for devine intervention (and believe me, I have been preying almost hourly for it to occur)!

btw, as they say in the Forces...never volunteer (especially when it's one of Rune's evil travesties of a well-balanced scenario)!

Mace