Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Bastables]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

Since scratch me bum and sniff BlastedBalls posted his rather premature post above, an entire platoon of girly Glider Troops have been cut to ribbons and eliminated by my two shell shocked survivors of his artillery bombardment from Heck, armed only with a sharp stick between them.

I still have no idea how I will kill his tanks, but OGSF is nothing if not a cunning bastard.

OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Cut to pieces? Hardly a section of 4 men with a single bren gun and 3 lee Enfield’s under the command of CPL Baldric stand ready to cut your chaps a new arse hole. Fix bayonets lads Jerry doesn’t like cold steel. For the King!

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From the jshandorf

"Why don't we compare reality to the game like Bastables likes to do all the time?"

Mr T's reply

"Don't touch me FOO!"

[Stuka]

OGSF is nothing but a cunning bastard.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bastables:

Cut to pieces? Hardly a section of 4 men with a single bren gun and 3 lee Enfield’s under the command of CPL Baldric stand ready to cut your chaps a new arse hole<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not no more they don't.

[Bastables]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

Not no more they don't.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bugger, don't fret my dear I'll BESA the rest of your buggers for your, your execution of Baldric and his lads. No prisoners!

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From the jshandorf

"Why don't we compare reality to the game like Bastables likes to do all the time?"

Mr T's reply

"Don't touch me FOO!"

[Rainpoet]

I have been watching this thread from afar, and seeing how I have never played a PBEM and how this seems to be the place to pick a fight for one per se. Would someone be so kind as to show me just how well you all lose in combat. Looking forward to battles to come and how did this whole thing start in the first place lads? care to illuminate a rookie to the war? or should i just march right on in?

[Bullethead]

Geier whined:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Any particular uniform you like dying in? Better yet, send me a setup with whatever as long as its not more than 1500 points. 155mm at twenty paces.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So, it is to be war between us.

As expected. I knew the buttmunching hairballs of the Cesspool would never peacefully submit to cleaning their ungodly mess from the moat of my fortress. Fortunately, Bullethead's Brigands are already mobilized on the interplanar boundary, fully equipped with hazmat suits and Chloroxthrowers. Prepare to meet your well-deserved and unmourned end.

Sadly, the Allies have no 155mm direct fire weapons in CM, so I cannot take your suggested battle literally. Although a duel of FOs on a very small, empty field sounds intriguing. But perhaps another day. This will be more conventional. That's probably all your feeble brain could handle, anyway.

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-Bullethead

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rainpoet:

I have never played a PBEM. Would someone be so kind as to show me just how well you all lose in combat. /B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well Rainpoet, first up, "Welcome to the Wonderful World of CM and the forum". Second up, I'm surprised you can walk, posting your first post to the board in the Cesspool! Wait until the rest of the misbegotten, bum crack sweat sniffers come to in the morning, ooooh, you'll be for it then.

Meantime, polish up your taunting skills. You won't get a game unless you utterly offend someone, amuse someone, or generally present yourself as a painful carbuncle on the spotty bottom of the Cesspool.

I can't be any nicer than that, I have a fearful reputation to uphold.

OGSF

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rainpoet:

I have been watching this thread from afar, and seeing how I have never played a PBEM and how this seems to be the place to pick a fight for one per se. Would someone be so kind as to show me just how well you all lose in combat. Looking forward to battles to come and how did this whole thing start in the first place lads? care to illuminate a rookie to the war? or should i just march right on in?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well I'm buggered (Sit Down, Bauhaus!). Your name matches your approach to this thread. This thread, which began several hundred years ago as the "Peng, I Take Our Challenge Public" thread (begun by myself, in honour of Peng's certifiable viciousness towards everyone else), is a new iteration of that self-same thread, which died quite horribly a few days ago. Before it died, it reached 3,000+ posts, every one of them a completely useless, vile, and sometimes vulgar descent into invective, taunting and abuse (except for many of my own posts, most of which were wonderful, pithy, and erudite assays into the finer realms of literature and speculative fiction).

I honour your desire to come to this damp (it would be seriously wet, but we lost of a lot of vital effluent when the thread crashed, and haven't fully recovered), meeting ground in search of a PBEM. But, you see, we have one rule here (not always honoured, but that's because we have as little use for even our own rules as we do for anyone elses), and that is, you must come in here with attitude and taunt/abuse to get a game. Because we had so many useless little wanke...er, that is, because we had so many applicants with a substandard grasp of language, literature, and panache, we were forced to institute a squire challenge system. Well, we weren't forced to, but we really enjoyed it, and it's worked out very well. We've got squires in training now that would rate 'high expert' in any other, lesser forum devoted to this sort of thing.

On that note, I wanted to sponsor that patboivin character, both because they're a long time poster to the general board, and because they're Canadian, but I've been frustrated in my desire because Pat-the-Bunny (there, the first bloody time I've ever descended to the name-twisting thing, and only because of my frustration), has been so hopelessly unwilling to do some actual taunting. C'mon, Patboivin, insult someone, for the love of the gods.

Now, Rainpoet, please be so good as to look over some of the posts here, and choose an individual or two, who most fill you with contempt and loathing (I know this part is hard, but concentrate. No matter who you pick, you can't go far wrong.) If you seriously and well cast ****e all over an established Knight of the Cesspool, you'll get a sponsor quick time, because all the jackals in here will rush to second you. If you abuse a squire, you'll at least get a game out of them, and also probably attract the attention of a sponsor. If you seriously throw dingo entrails on someone, in a bang up job of taunting and abuse, you might even get an up front game from a Knight. Mind, that's going to have to be some serious taunting, but we live in hope, as it were.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 10-16-2000).]

[Bastables]

Ho ho ho ho

What OBSF said Enjoy it you mongrel.......the only other game I have played worse than this was my first one, back in June.

Now he's reverted to the shoulda, coulda and woulda stage of a total loss to the Bastables, Nizam al-Mulk, (Order of the realm).

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From the jshandorf

"Why don't we compare reality to the game like Bastables likes to do all the time?"

Mr T's reply

"Don't touch me FOO!"

"Yes that's right Jerry, RUN, Run for your little lives because Tommy's gotten close enough to assault mhahahahah."

Nizam al-Mulk, (Order of the realm) In speaking of his superb disregard of maneuver warfare, in the destruction of OGSF hamsters who then carried on to flee the battle in their on notion of maneuver warfare. Tally HO!

[This message has been edited by Bastables (edited 10-16-2000).]

[Seanachai]

Gack, I can't take it anymore. After two days of exile (imposed by my lunatic family, who thinks I should occassionaly do things with them), I come back to the Thread of Threads (or what will be), and there's no insane gibberish from Meeks. I think that we, the orthodox Brethren of the Peng Thread, must embrace the legal fiction of Meeks/Hamsters personna, and allow Elijah to post here in the interim, during our battle, under his Elijah Meeks appellation (this schism is hard on all of us), and, of course, his AARs will be allowable under the vile and degraded 'Hamsters' appellation, at least until I drive his rodent horde back into their burrows and pour flaming kerosene into the holes behind them. Besides, I think the slacking little swine is using this whole heresy/bann/proscription thing to go off and relax and chase buxom women and carry on, rather than keeping up with his quota of spraying foaming spittle and madness here.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sneezy-poo:

After two days of exile...I come back to the Thread of Threads (or what will be), and there's no insane gibberish from Meeks.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He's not sending files either. I think his sister may have finally delivered the last blows in his topplement. Either that, or he's mad because I dropped an artillery shell down the hatch of his StuG and brewed it up. His JagdTiger is next. I don't think I have anything that will put a hole in it, but it will be immobilized with the gun pointed pathetically in a useless direction. It's also possible that since it's been discovered that he and his sister are the same person, he/they have gone into hiding.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bastables:

What OBSF said Enjoy it you mongrel.......the only other game I have played worse than this was my first one, back in June.

No he's reverted to the shoulda, coulda and woulda stage of a total loss to the Bastables, Nizam al-Mulk, (Order of the realm). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Tis true, I have sent the yipping cur his surrender this very minute. I would hate to credit the swine with winning through clever tactics...fortunately I can put this entire fiasco down to my own temporary lapse into mindless stupidity. Regrettably, I must listen to his excited yapping on this board for a day or two - at least until our next game begins and he suddenly realizes what a freebie he has just been given.

OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

[Bullethead]

Mace croaked:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Welcome to the pool! Jump in, the ...errr... water's fine (nice and stinky, just as you like it)!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I see that rusty dagger you're hiding behind your back, you product of cockroach incest. Still, I will take your welcome at face value, although I'll my back to the wall. This place reminds me a bit of home, although less boiling blood and more oozing ordure. Still, the over-all effect is about the same.

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-Bullethead

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.

[Bastables]

OGSF statement on learning the full cost of his hubris

“Just received the Surrender stats - bloody awful, thanks for sharing.”

Time to listen to some Vanessa Paradis songs, in French mhahaha.

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From the jshandorf

"Why don't we compare reality to the game like Bastables likes to do all the time?"

Mr T's reply

"Don't touch me FOO!"

"Yes that's right Jerry, RUN, Run for your little lives because Tommy's gotten close enough to assault mhahahahah."

Nizam al-Mulk, (Order of the realm) In speaking of his superb disregard of maneuver warfare. In the destruction of OGSF hamsters who then carried on to flee the battle in their on notion of maneuver warfare. Tally HO!

[Roborat]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

...His taunting is feeble but should come on with some coaching and practice. He *does* have the game,and is therefore eligible and available for a joust. He has often times thrown his troops under the blazing muzzles of my guns and may justify the faith of some Noble Knight in his worthiness by winning his joust.

OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You weren't referring to me I hope?? I have the game now, and I am ready to try a PBEM. If memory serves, I was the lone Canadian to come to the defence of our noble country, which was the start of this whole noxious thread. So if anyone wants to try the knees bent advancing stuff with a real Canadian (not that east coast, cod shagger of a fellow Canadian who hangs around), I hereby announce my readiness. One of you fellow squires perhaps??

And if anyone has seen my sponser, the mighty split personality himself, poke him (or her, if he is in his "sister" personality), with a pointy stick in a delicate place for me, will you? I fear the brick is losing its potency. I miss his incoherent, foaming at the mouth posts, and I suspect that his brief fling with excommunication and threatened blood hamster may have finally sent him over the edge.

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fruityhead:

So, it is to be war between us.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sure. If you want to call a one-sided slaughter ending with the total annhilation of your troops along with the crucufixion of what remains of their souls "war", then war it is.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

As expected. I knew the buttmunching hairballs of the Cesspool would never peacefully submit to cleaning their ungodly mess from the moat of my fortress.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The "moat" is placed inside of the "walls" you syphilitic crossdresser (sit down Goanna) and would by any sentient creature be named a "lavatory". The "fortress" is 1. Not bloody yours, it's the domain of Mayhesorta Blow, and 2. a "fortress" that couldn't (and wouldn't) stop a Canadian pissant.

And there is no power this side of the one we don't speak to who could clean up this mess anyway.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Fortunately, Bullethead's Brigands are already mobilized on the interplanar boundary, fully equipped with hazmat suits and Chloroxthrowers. Prepare to meet your well-deserved and unmourned end.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Better carbon-based (I am giving you the benefit of the doubt) lifeforms than you have tried. ALL have failed. The interplanar causeways are heavily mined and I've got TRP's all over.

Chloroxthrowers huh? Using weapons banned by every authority in all the planes are we? I like that.

Let's dance,

Johan

[This message has been edited by Geier (edited 10-16-2000).]

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Pisspoet Squeaked:

I have been watching this thread from afar, and seeing how I have never played a PBEM and how this seems to be the place to pick a fight for one per se. Would someone be so kind as to show me just how well you all lose in combat. Looking forward to battles to come and how did this whole thing start in the first place lads? care to illuminate a rookie to the war? or should I just march right on in?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You will need to inject a touch more venom to get any response (other than derision) here. Try again

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I see that rusty dagger you're hiding behind your back<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No rusty daggers behind the back here... well cared for K-Bars out in the open... and a brick for Meeks

[PeterNZer]

After a weekend of sleeping and playing CM I am pleased to report some progress on some battles.

Chupacabra:

um. Next. Move along, nothing to see here except Germans who refuse to use their Panzerfausts *cry*

JD Morse:

What amuses me most about this battle is JD keeps doing the tactically right thing, but he always manages to do it 30 seconds too late. That is, He charges a building, i'm in there and slaughter in bound troops. He moves a half track, there are two of mine and his goes booooom, he moves a light tank.. splato.

This battle has made me laugh in great heaving chortles as the bodies mount up in the snow around a VL. I think he's getting desperate now so I can't wait to see what he tries. Hopefully it will involve some kind of running into an ambush or throwing himself at my units feet again.

Herr Oberst:

Ahh, poor lad. I feel almost sorry for him. Two platoons decimated in the first 5 or so turns. There's running, screaming, dying. *sigh* poor yanks, best to just run off the board now before you die alot.

Training games vs. Germygirl:

Ha! All goes according to my designs. He doesn't know it, but it does! That's the glory of my cunning designs. Very clever of me I agree.

Pawboom:

Poor lad. I think he's trying to loose deliberately so he can claim the french are a real fighting force. Either way, he's loosing. One light tank with no gun, one dead halftrack 75, and an SP gun and armored car that won't last more than a couple of turns. *sigh* the glory of victory.

Now.

Back to Chupacarbra who is an evil, malicious sneaky low down son of a mongolian whoremonger. Never play this bastard in a night game, his dark rituals leave your men gibbering wrecks whom he captures in order to sacrafice their souls to his demon gods. A brave attempt by a platoon to free some captives was successful but only at great cost. On top of that, he has some hex which means your panzerfausts never fire! He is evil, smelly, evil and he wears glasses. And he's evil too.

PeterNZ

[Chupacabra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

Now.

Back to Chupacarbra who is an evil, malicious sneaky low down son of a mongolian whoremonger. Never play this bastard in a night game, his dark rituals leave your men gibbering wrecks whom he captures in order to sacrafice their souls to his demon gods. A brave attempt by a platoon to free some captives was successful but only at great cost. On top of that, he has some hex which means your panzerfausts never fire! He is evil, smelly, evil and he wears glasses. And he's evil too.

PeterNZ<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Straight to Cthulhu they go! Oh, and by the way, remember the arty that cut your guys at that VL to pieces and made them run away like screaming playground sissies at the first sight of my troops? You don't even wanna know how much I've still got. Enjoy the screen shake.

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Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super.

[PeterNZer]

I think i'll just have to surrender soon. I've still got a sneaky hidden platoon.. but with my global morale so low the best they will be able to do is wet themselves before surrendering I figure.

PeterNZ

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Bullethead vomited:

I see that rusty dagger you're hiding behind your back....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm not hiding anything behind my back!

Those knives are a permanent fixture, kindly inserted by Seniletea, Slow Bore and the rest of the kinigits in some sort of bizarre induction ceremony!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> ...you product of cockroach incest.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I bow to someone who obviously knows more about the subject than I.

As I always say, it's nice to have a hobby one enjoys!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Still, I will take your welcome at face value, although I'll my back to the wall.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wise decision, given that induction ceremony!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>This place reminds me a bit of home, although less boiling blood and more oozing ordure. Still, the over-all effect is about the same<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Boiling Blood?

Hey guys, I think we have someone from the Medical or Legal profession in our midst!

Mace

[Hiram Sedai]

Lorak, you are welcome to remove me from your website. It would appear that the Knight who was sponsoring me, Sir Seanachai has released me and found another squire to sponsor. Never a more fickle Knight have I found. Verbose, but fickle. Like a little girl whose fancy changes with the weather. A little girl with pigtails and a sunny disposition. A little girl who lives in Minnesota but talks like she's from England. Am I the only one who noticed?

Now, to what really matters...The Eagles won yesterday. If any of you want to converse, I'll be in the vestibule.

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Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[PeterNZer]

You smelly horrible stunted beer drinking belching farting proudly and talking about it lot need to go read my thread!

Go read concept game bastards thread ok, and tell me if it appeals.

PeterNZ

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Like a little girl whose fancy changes with the weather. A little girl with pigtails and a sunny disposition. A little girl who lives in Minnesota but talks like she's from England. Am I the only one who noticed?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yep, that is Senilelosttopeng. He can't remember what he started to say in a sentence by the time he reaches the end of that sentence, so what made you think he would remember a squire? The only reason we put up with him is... um... er... Why do we put up with him?