The Peng Challenge: Thread Blunder

[Stuka]

PuckerMike does seem to be a bit er a lot slow on the ways of the Cesspool. The stupid is strong in this one.

Well, he is Dutch after all. They aren't known for being terribly quick on the uptake. I mean, just look at the goober-spelling of their so-called delicacies, a few more 'O's' and you'd be speaking in pure Oompa Loompa.

[Michael Emrys]

In some parts of our glorious Kingdom, curry sauce is added to this too. Delicious!

You really are a sick dog. Shouldn't you be skydiving without a parachute?

Michael

[Michael Emrys]

A moronic ox if ever there was one.

I have to say that in the current round, Stuka's posting skills appear to have improved by an order of magnitude. I guess the brain transplant took. Found a non-Ozzie donor, did you?

Michael

[PanzerMike]

You really are a sly dog.

Michael

Ow yeah! Thanks Michael, you old dog you.

Hope you don't mind me making fun of old men like you? I really do have respect for the elderly, you know. I just never show it.

[Sergei]

Please, don't call Emrys an 'old man' or 'elderly'. That's just disrespectful.

Say 'an ancient' or 'cro-magnon' or 'antediluvian'.

[Nidan1]

"Decrepit" would be my adjective of choice.

[Michael Emrys]

"Decrepit" would be my adjective of choice.

It takes one to know one.

Michael

[Michael Emrys]

Please, don't call Emrys an 'old man' or 'elderly'. That's just disrespectful.

Say 'an ancient' or 'cro-magnon' or 'antediluvian'.

Shouldn't you be buried under the Greenland icecap?

Michael

[Watcher]

It takes one to know one.

Michael

How original, your talent is amazing.

[Watcher]

Stop whining Wank..Wuss...uh dammit wot s name...Washer. Find out what the deal is with all these moribund Houses. Chop chop, get cracking!

I have an idea(look it up) Howsabout One Pukey "I'm so great because my non life allowed me to be here since like forever" Mike sends the ever humble but ever capable Watcher a setup of whatever your jellied brain cells can put together. If that's too much to ask, have the hairy fat smelly balding woman with one tooth that is your caretaker help you. You know the one that wears her support hose rolled up only to her mid calf and has that crush on you? But only after she wipes the drool from your lips and the dung from below the hips off, wouldn't want you to blame that unpleasantness on the thrashing you'll get.

You see that's why it's called the Peng Challenge Thread. See,.. I challenge a no account scumbag (you) to defend your honor (don't bother looking this up , you have none) on the glorious pixelated field of honor. If the saying may the best man win has any truth in it whatsoever your surrender will also be accepted in lieu of the game.

[Boo Radley]

Sounds like a task for that stellar Squire, Watcher.

There's a good lad, do some research and find the other houses besides House Rune, the Shavian House, Croda, and JD Morse(?).

Is that last one really a house?

Anyway, do a bang up job of it and I will propose you be advanced to Kanigget.

Oh My Gosh..... Dosomefink.com is still an active community..... I... I just have no words.

Croda is not a House, you quarter wit. Croda is OF the House JDMorse. He was Squire to JDMorse, just as I was Squire to Croda.

It's not that freaking difficult, man!

But then, I forget you were a latch-key Squire, left all to yourself and really... using yourself as a role model... nothing good could ever come of that.

And I have NO idea what this whole House Lex nonsense is about. It sounds like something Joe would make up because he couldn't remember the true name. Sort of like how Harpo Marx would call everybody "Benson" because he could never remember names.

Where did that questionable reference come from, anyway?

[Michael Emrys]

How original, your talent is amazing.

I know. My brilliance is brighter than a thousand suns at full midday.

Michael

[Stuka]

brighter than a thousand suns

How would you know? Once you run out of fingers (at 11) you'd lose count.

[Yeknodathon]

It he shines like a 1000 stars he'd be a bit crispy.

[sburke]

Croda is not a House, you quarter wit. Croda is OF the House JDMorse. He was Squire to JDMorse, just as I was Squire to Croda.

It's not that freaking difficult, man!

And I have NO idea what this whole House Lex nonsense is about.

You are probably right. More than likely someone just figured your house must be the Lexington house of corrections.

[Watcher]

I was remiss in not reporting to my Liege ng cavscout on the Battle between Goodness in its purest sense against the most despicable of evil. Yes my Liege, I refer to Shavian House, the pox supreme and malodorous odor that infests the CessPool. The following is my report sire.

In my best drunken Irish imitation I can only say “Whale Oil Beef Hooked”. Once again sburke you have bested me and are 2 for 2.. Video games are awesome because they let you try out amazing fantasies. For example, in The Sims, you’re able to have both a job and a house, how nice for you. Someday if I choose to retreat full time to my basement and relinquish the thought of a normal life I too may become a master at this game that no doubt has profound implications in your otherwise drab and uneventful existence….. Just Kidding!

You boasted how you were gonna kick my butt and I will concede you put your money where your mouth is. Though that must have been a sad moment for you when you had to remove it from the Justicars butt in order to do accomplish it. You are indeed a (choke….adequate….gag) opponent. You have shown you can maneuver a superior position (game 1) or a superior force (game 2) into a winning conclusion. I could say some stupid “your mom” joke but that would be too easy……but then again so is your mom.

Tonight in celebration of your great victory you’ll probably party like its 1999. Which means you’ll stay in your basement drinking 2 liter bottles of Mountain Dew and watch Steel Magnolias for the 100th time just like you did back then. Hey buddy, there’s a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness”. Oh I’m sure you finish an occasional book now and again, but then your hands cramp after all that coloring and you need to take a break from it.

As you sit there moving your Lego man which is holding a Crunchy Cheetos that you’re pretending is a little caveman’s club across your desk, remember

I’m just kidding.

So congratulations on your victory, job well done.

PS: Of all the lies I've told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.

[sburke]

I don't take much pleasure in winning a game where my task is to run away. That being said I do like slapping around House Rune, so I guess I'll call it even.

And just to correct a few misconceptions, I live in San Jose and I don't have a basement, though I do have a house. So if I were to retreat it would be to a crawlspace and that would make me a fitting supplicant to House Rune. However being of the Shavian House I plant my PC right in the living room conveniently placed to watch football tomorrow whilst also watching my pixeltruppen die as a result of my stupid tactical moves, oops I mean crushing my enemies through my tactical brilliance.. yeah that's it.

[Watcher]

Report to my liege ng cavscout.

My attempts at searching the archives proved too great a task. YOU read some old Justicar Joe posts and tell me if his mental deficiency ,even then, was more than any man could bear. I thank you for the honor of possible Knighthood in the Illustrious House of Rune but am not ready for the honor. I have yet to draw victorious blood in a match.

But Justicars ramblings aside it was an enlighting journey and will spend time there when I feel the urge, so basically never.

The Knight and Squires of old were plenty and the battles intense in those days. What Happened????

Where are all these guys? Did they all just drop dead or did they die of boredom? Now obviously to those that think (which leaves the Shavian House at a distinct disadvantage) I’m not asking for a poster by poster headcount but rather the reasons you think the ol’e gray mare ain’t what she used to be.

Ah, it must have been a glorious time, the smell of the box when you opened the first truly significant wargaming machine OOOOOOH RAAAAAAAA! I’m betting there were wet pants in half to three quarters of that bunch. I know now the true meaning of the Night of the Refreshing Monkey, you sly dogs you.

The shiver up your leg as your clumps of hero pixels hurried to their assigned tasks. The almost spiritual enlightenment of a Sherman taking the sweet shot up the ole kazoo of a badly maneuvered Tiger. I hear tell some guys even passed out. I hate to spread rumors but what else can you do with them? To have been a part of that must have been something special. I’m just sad that the old ones still here can’t remember where they put their glasses let alone 15 years ago.

But if Justicar Joe could let us lowly squires understand the history of the Houses it would be great tradition to aspire to. I beg thee Knight of House Rune have council with him and say unto him, “Justicar Joe how bout you step up and Justicar something. Its more than strutting around wearing the Grand Poohba Hat. And do us all a favor, drop the hamster entourage.”

And one last question my Liege. Is it just me or does Nidan1 remind you of a mole that pokes its head up out of the hole, barks , and then scurry’s back down to his hole?

[ng cavscout]

I don't take much pleasure in winning a game where my task is to run away. That being said I do like slapping around House Rune, so I guess I'll call it even.

And just to correct a few misconceptions, I live in San Jose and I don't have a basement, though I do have a house. So if I were to retreat it would be to a crawlspace and that would make me a fitting supplicant to House Rune. However being of the Shavian House I plant my PC right in the living room conveniently placed to watch football tomorrow whilst also watching my pixeltruppen die as a result of my stupid tactical moves, oops I mean crushing my enemies through my tactical brilliance.. yeah that's it.

Stay out of our crawl spaces, you wouldn't like what you find there.....

[ng cavscout]

Report to my liege ng cavscout.

My attempts at searching the archives proved too great a task. YOU read some old Justicar Joe posts and tell me if his mental deficiency ,even then, was more than any man could bear. I thank you for the honor of possible Knighthood in the Illustrious House of Rune but am not ready for the honor. I have yet to draw victorious blood in a match.

But Justicars ramblings aside it was an enlighting journey and will spend time there when I feel the urge, so basically never.

The Knight and Squires of old were plenty and the battles intense in those days. What Happened????

Where are all these guys? Did they all just drop dead or did they die of boredom? Now obviously to those that think (which leaves the Shavian House at a distinct disadvantage) I’m not asking for a poster by poster headcount but rather the reasons you think the ol’e gray mare ain’t what she used to be.

Ah, it must have been a glorious time, the smell of the box when you opened the first truly significant wargaming machine OOOOOOH RAAAAAAAA! I’m betting there were wet pants in half to three quarters of that bunch. I know now the true meaning of the Night of the Refreshing Monkey, you sly dogs you.

The shiver up your leg as your clumps of hero pixels hurried to their assigned tasks. The almost spiritual enlightenment of a Sherman taking the sweet shot up the ole kazoo of a badly maneuvered Tiger. I hear tell some guys even passed out. I hate to spread rumors but what else can you do with them? To have been a part of that must have been something special. I’m just sad that the old ones still here can’t remember where they put their glasses let alone 15 years ago.

But if Justicar Joe could let us lowly squires understand the history of the Houses it would be great tradition to aspire to. I beg thee Knight of House Rune have council with him and say unto him, “Justicar Joe how bout you step up and Justicar something. Its more than strutting around wearing the Grand Poohba Hat. And do us all a favor, drop the hamster entourage.”

And one last question my Liege. Is it just me or does Nidan1 remind you of a mole that pokes its head up out of the hole, barks , and then scurry’s back down to his hole?

Well then get to it and win a battle for once! *boot*

The Justicar keeps cheating with gamy tactics like blowing up my T-34's so you have to hold up the house honor. *boot*

As for Nidan1, he has been pestering me for a game, but I am too busy to update my CMBN to the latest version, so, maybe, if you are a Lucky Squire, he might contes.... counder... condemsan.... agree to have a game with you.

Beware, he is a tricksy old bugger, don't trust him, not at all. He likes to hide in the woods with a knife in his teeth, throw it behind you to distract you, then roundhouse kick you in the back of the head.

Unless he forgets what he was doing and just starts humming old broadway show tunes.

[Joe Shaw]

It does a man's heart good to see that he is, once again, correct in his judgement of others.

I speak, of course, of that Most Loyal and Trustworthy Squire to the Shavian House, sburke. I've had some squires of talent in the past, young Aqua Perdido was always solicitous of my health and offered to hand me down from the curb to the street as it was icy. We weren't to know that there was an oncoming truck bearing down on us. Good thing I told him simply to lay in the street so I could cross by stepping on him and thus avoid the ice. He recovered nicely.

Then there was the time he offered me some home baked cookies. I was so overwhelmed with his generosity and spirit of giving that I insisted he eat them himself as he was a growing young Squire. Sadly they had somehow been infused with strychnine but he didn't eat enough to warrant more than a couple of days in the hospital.

But I digest ... sburke is yet another who will someday, and right shortly too, grace the ranks of the Shavian House and bring yet more glory to it's shining name. Well done, sburke, well done indeed. I am indeed proud of you.

But all parents (and Lieges) must at some point realize that their young charges are no longer in need of instruction and are capable of venturing out into the world on their own. sburke is very near that milestone.

I have long made it a policy that Squires to the Shavian House must not only complete my course of instruction but must also complete three battles against others before they gain their spurs. sburke has completed two battles. Should he complete the third I shall be privileged to make him a Knight of the Cesspool as is my right and obligation as his Liege and as a Seniour Knight of the Cesspool.

So lay on with a will young sburke and defeat your next foe in the superb manner you've so far achieved. Do attempt to find someone worthy ... pretty clearly Watcher isn't ... big surprise, his Liege is NG Cavscout and they're both of House Rune {snicker}.

Your Liege,

Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT

[Joe Shaw]

NG Cavscout you call my tactics "gamey" and yet you employed exactly the same tactics against my scout cars earlier in the same game. Is it my fault that I followed your lead and destroyed the only vehicles you had the nerve to expose to my fire?

Also I'd suggest that before you blindly rush into my guns the next time you refrain from having your bugler sound "Charge" ... it does rather give away the game.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Should he complete the third I shall be privileged to make him a Knight of the Cesspool.

Your Liege,

Sir Joe Shaw THHHHPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTPOOTPOOTPOOT!!!

And watch as property values plummet like the comet that killed all of Emerys playmates and dusted the entire planet with a thin coating of Iridium, not unlike the hair on Joe's scalp.

[Joe Shaw]

And watch as property values plummet like the comet that killed all of Emerys playmates and dusted the entire planet with a thin coating of Iridium, not unlike the hair on Joe's scalp.

If anyone would know about reduced property values it would be you I imagine.

Joe

[Michael Emrys]

If anyone would know about reduced property values it would be you I imagine.

You are being far too modest here (something that has never happened before). Entire cities have been red lined simply because your airliner passed over them. 'Passed' being the operative word here.

Michael