Joe Shaw Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Warning - GROG POST Good Gawd man, have you no shame? We put up with Bauhaus ... well, it's not like we have a lot of choice, and his filthy disgusting habits, we endure Senility and his stomach turning Sing Songs and I admit to certain deviance with my Mormon Wives posts. We do, after all, inhabit a place called the CESSPOOL, but WE HAVE STANDARDS Andreas ... not many certainly and of a peculiarly low nature but standards still. This latest infamy of yours goes too far. Cease and desist you, you vile German/Irish/British person, we don't want that kind of talk in here. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Not to good at math, are you Meeks. If you take 4 from 8, that equals 4. Now, let us assume that Commissar has an IQ of 1. Following this so far? Ok, now 4 is only 4 times as smart as 1. Understand? Ok, so 8, I've got that, and uh, 4. And 1. Um... Yep, looks like 283 times as smart. Let me check that on my computronator. Yep, all the numbers are there, good. Glad we could agree on something Berli. Oh, and there's a significant difference in the meanings of the words, 'to' and 'too'. ------------------ Woot! Woot! The dip**** just got banned. -Source Unknown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Aragorn: All that is shiney does not glitter...blah, blah, blah Good thing we moved to the Carribean, 'cus it definitely sounds like you've been rockin' the ganj' mon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: bla-bla-bla Im feeling more anal then usual bla-bla-bla... Goodness, that downright hurt. Oh, what now, you said something? Im sorry, I was picturing what you would look like in person. Now piss off and let me think of an insult fitting enough for one such as yourself. I got one! Piss off - no, wait... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Listen, Aragorn, you'd best post something useful or I'm apt to go Boromir on your ass, you dig? ------------------ Soy super bien soy super super bien soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Madmatt Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Hmmm, The only ranger I know wears a mask. Since when did Aragorn start talking like such a pansy? Besides, if he was a real man he wouldn't have complained like such a wuss about taking the shortcut through Moria. And why did it take him so long to come out of hiding to assume his true heritage and assume his rightful place on the throne? One word.. Slacker He spent all those years traipsing through the forest of Middle Earth assembling his little "troupe" of fellow "rangers". Yeah, uh huh, I think Seigfried and Roy are hiring Aragorn... Yup, living vicariously through the deeds of his ancestors.... Kinda pathetic really. Now Morgoth...He was a bad ass. Assuming you can stay awake long enough to actually finish the Similarillian and read of his deeds. I have seen bodies decompose with more vigor and energy than that thing... Madmatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 22, 2001 Author Share Posted February 22, 2001 Announcing the "Evil is as Evil Doesmatch. Evil incarnate (berli) has accepted a challenge from Evil Manifest (yours truly) and since we have a number of admiringly cloy sychophants out there, I invite you to construct a scenario for us to joust with. Talk amongst yourselves, construct it and send it in tournament save. Please, mildly diverting and nothing unplayable. That is all. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 jd I have the perfect scenario for you. You will be the Allies and Berli the Germans. Berli will have a convoy of assorted vehicles which he must exit the far end of the map in order to win. I have taken into account your tactical prowress and have given you one (1) FO hiding in the woods and a LARGE number of airstrikes. It is hoped that this will not tax your abilities beyond what we have all recognized. Go get 'em counselor. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 EGADS NO! They must play Crodaburg, if they are to fathom true evil. The last two people to play that game, ButtCheek6 and JarJarHead never returned. That is the extent of Crodaburg's evil. jd, I shall speed it to you. You decide if it is worthy. ------------------ Woot! - Maximus2k The New CessPool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Actually jd, I just put a scenario together as a test that you might like. I'll even let you play the Germans (all crack and elite)... I call it 'Crete' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Ahh Poor Madmatt... I remember when he was just a normal joe, yes was even added as a knight in the pool. Then he had to go and sell out to the man. Is nice to see that he still has some verbal wit to go with the gene simmons greese paint. Now if only Strider would get his act together. He says he is here to kill us trolls, attack us in our own din of impurity. But where is the attack? When is he going to actualy launch this great offensive? stay tuned, same LOTR channel, smae LOTR time. But please make it before the movie comes out. Lorak the loathed. ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: I'll even let you play the Germans (all crack Ewwww, I don't think I'd enjoy playing as a German's crack. (They can get quite sweaty in those lederhosen you know and then the chaffing starts and its all down hill from there, unless of course you have a light dusting of talcum) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 What the -beep- is Crodaberg? If such a thing really exist, and is not just the fevored imagination of a pimply geek with no social life, can someone (meaning Croda) send me a copy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Aragorn: I come to this foul place not to be one of you, I come to slay you! Your feeble insults do not heed me in my quest, save your breath! And slay you almost did! The sheer lack of inspiration of your post had the same impact on me as the 2 day meeting from which I have just returned (ie put me in such a state of boredom that I was considering whether now would be a good point of time to cease living)! Now be a good Aragorn, go claim your throne and give Sauron a good thrashing! At least do the noble act of throwing yourself on your sword! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Your feeble insults do not heed me in my quest, save your breath! Well maybe they don't ... heed you that is, but at least when we use archaic language structure it makes sense. I THINK you may have meant impede ... but maybe not. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Stuka: Ewwww, I don't think I'd enjoy playing as a German's crack. (They can get quite sweaty in those lederhosen you know and then the chaffing starts and its all down hill from there, unless of course you have a light dusting of talcum) Stuka, Does your internal thought processes allow to think about anything above the wasteline, or below the upper thighs? Just curious. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 I am prepared to rise up to the level of the upper chest, but only for a brief visitation before plunging back lemming like, to the 'thingey' region. PS. It is a common misnomer that lemmings actually do throw themselves off cliffs. More to the point it is a total crock of ****e. Lemmings have no more leanings towards suicide than Lorak's Chinchillas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by The Commissar: What the -beep- is Crodaberg? If such a thing really exist, and is not just the fevored imagination of a pimply geek with no social life, can someone (meaning Croda) send me a copy? To some, Crodaburg is a state of mind. To others, it is punishment for needing a scenario. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Allrighty... Seanachai, load up the Bob Marley & the Wailers on the CD player and stop all that Celtic cat-tail twisting noise... All you Squires, go out and shake a few trees, get out your machetes and make some new clopping thingies so you can hold your positions proper... Ahh... much better. Now where'd my damnable daquiri mix go??? ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Aragorn: I sit on the floor and pick my nose and think of dirty things of deviant dwarves who suck their toes and elves who drub their dings Yeah, yeah, so you can copy stuff out of a book. Pick someone (look at lorak's site and find someone with a lot of losses), and single them out for intense scorn and ridicule for a while. Then beat them to a pulp in a terribly unbalanced (no, I'm not talking about you meeks) PBEM match created by someone like Berliwhirly. Otherwise go away. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Phillies Phan: I posted last on the German Peng thread. I could do like Chrisl and say I "slayed the Peng thread" but I won't. Yippee. You can kind of read, and almost form a sentence. Next you need to work on reading comprehension-- the original Peng thread died at my hands (and allegedly in Seanachai or morse's arms) while I was posting the terrible truth about the hermaphrodite Meeks. It was too much for the system to handle so it imploded. Only some quick thinking on the part of Steve kept the entire country east of the mississippi from getting sucked into oblivion (which wouldn't be a bad thing, except it would take BTS with it, which would be a bad thing). Simply posting before the lock goes down is hardly a feat. A thousand monkeys with cheap number two pencils jammed into their eyes banging on $2 pc keyboards could do that 9 times out of 10. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 An' noo fer a wee sang... Yasterdae, all mah troobles saimed sae far awee, Noo at seems as tho' tha here tae stay, Aye Ah believe, an yesterdae. Wah shae ha' tae gi Ah dinnae Shae widnae say, Noo Ah lang fer yasterdae............. Fraish braith.... Ah cannae gitnae, sat-is-faction, Ah cannae gitnae, sat-is-faction, Bit Ah tree, an' Ah tree, Ah cannae gitnae............. Did Ah mention ye all scab-nibblin' bastarrrds? Cansider at mentioned.... Bastarrrds. Iskanderpandapants thanks he's beat mah cos Ah surrendered tae has shattered survivors. We'll see wha' tha AAR has tae say aboot tha'. Seanachai as a gracious bastarrrd an' fit an' interestun' gam. He's gwintae lose tho, really. Speedy as wonderin' where tha rest o' mah troops are. Ah didnae have any, but didnae tell ham tha', cos he's a bastarrd. Stuka as discovered wha' a burnin' Pershing looks leek. Pity at were wun o his ain. Hiram Phillies Phan Phat Phellow as nae returned a turn since has wee spot o' job huntin' began. Bastarrd. Mace as creepin' aboot tha map leek sam wee pharmacey assistant deliverin' plain wrapped goods tae tha local brothel. Bastarrd. Nijis as discoverin' tha an overwhelmin' advantage an troop numbers as nae good tae ye, af'n yer a twat commander. Noo sod off. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD ------------------ You posture more than Marcia Brady with books on her head and you chatter like a dolphin near the fish bucket. - Dalem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 22, 2001 Author Share Posted February 22, 2001 Lorak be a good fellow and get down the FormerSquires Tome of Losses Aye that's it. If you'd please open it to Croda's page for we have another entry to make. The youngster has succumbed again. Oh that many pages? Oh well. A FormerSquire™ of infinite jest is young Croda. Always hankering at knocking me about the head and stealing off with his mum. Always in an Oepedial snit that one. Of course the result is the same. Only bigger this time. In a Battalion sized clash the vital stats: He lost 821 casualties, an 15 vehicles. I lost 358 and 1 vehicle. One (1) of my Panthers inflicted 26 infantry kills, 1 M3A1, 1 M4A3(76)w and 2 M18's. It was that kind of battle. The final score: 74-26 (only because we agreed to a cease-fire with about 15 turns to go.) A Major victory. His response: "Hey old man, double or nothing on Mum?" jd- win FormerSquire™ Croda - loss ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram [This message has been edited by jd (edited 02-22-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treeburst155 Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Some truths about Pengers: A Penger is someone who can't beat Fionn Kelly in CM because they let him boondoggle them into an unfair game. They allow this because they don't understand the game. A Penger will only play CM with fellow Pengers because they don't want to instantly hit alt-u which would be unavoidable when playing the general CM public. A Penger spends more time posting than playing because he can write much better than he can play. A Penger tends to suffer from excess intelligence, over-education, and complete frustration because these things are not enough to enable him to beat the rest of us in CM. A Penger's greatest fear is that a bargain beer drinkin', high school dropout, blue collar, red neck, good ole boy like me might beat him if given the chance. I offer as proof of the above the fact that no Penger will email me to initiate negotiation of terms for a CM battle. They will flame, make fun, or ignore this post; but they will not play. Considering the Pengers' lack of success against Fionn Kelly and the reason for it I could probably beat them before the first file is sent. Unfortunately I will never know for sure. Treeburst155 PS To those Pengers who are capable of honest appraisal of their tactical ineptitude I would like to offer my services as tactics tutor. I can help you. You need not hide from the CM community any longer. You need not lose EVERY time to Fionn Kelly. I will teach you his secrets to success and much more. My fees are low and your tactical deficiencies will be held in the strictest confidence. I will waive the fee if you would like to meet me in battle. Be brave, hold your head high and take that first step. One little email is all it takes to put you on the road to tactical prowess. In one week you will be able to beat your pre-teen son. In three months you will be able to at least negotiate a fair game with Fionn Kelly. Email me now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 22, 2001 Author Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Treeburst155: Some truths about Pengers:... Email me now!Boy you sure have us pegged. Yep, that's the right of it. Games up. We are exposed. Time to pack it in..... By the way, I have played Fionn, know Fionn and you are no Fionn. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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