dalem Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Taser-hit man burst into flames Translation: Drunken Aussie Pushes Envelope of Aussieness. A man in Western Australia was engulfed in flames when police officers fired a Taser stun gun at him. So Mace, what was it like, being on fire and all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Statisoris Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 / Walks into room, looks around, is this the restroom?, noone answers, urinates on the carpet, walks out of room / Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I believe this is the thread you are looking for. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 / Walks into room, looks around, is this the restroom?, noone answers, urinates on the carpet, walks out of room / Do you often go into restrooms and urinate on the floor? This is why you are shunned and not invited out more. Actually, there's probably a plethora of reasons as to why you're shunned, Stentorious. Have you considered a good deoderant? Or any deoderant? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 So Mace, what was it like, being on fire and all? I wouldn't know. I live in Victoria, not Western Australia. **shrug** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I wouldn't know. I live in Victoria, not Western Australia. **shrug** And for that, we are eternally gratefull. Anyway, over East the cops just use real bullets, none of this e-lectricity stuff. As to Stuka being a Kiwi. I must, I'm afraid, support him somewhat in this little poll. There is no way he is a Kiwi. Let me list the reasons, in no particular order... His skin isn't tattoed. His hair is straight-ish. He falls off things and can't side-step - no Mojo, I'm afraid. His rendition of a Haka usually ends up with large bowel movement during the squats... He can't play rugby for quids (mind you, at least he doesn't choke). As far as I know, he's not on Social Security. So, on balance, he must be an Aussie. Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Stoopid Dalem.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 And for that, we are eternally gratefull. Anyway, over East the cops just use real bullets, none of this e-lectricity stuff. As to Stuka being a Kiwi. I must, I'm afraid, support him somewhat in this little poll. There is no way he is a Kiwi. Let me list the reasons, in no particular order... His skin isn't tattoed. His hair is straight-ish. He falls off things and can't side-step - no Mojo, I'm afraid. His rendition of a Haka usually ends up with large bowel movement during the squats... He can't play rugby for quids (mind you, at least he doesn't choke). As far as I know, he's not on Social Security. So, on balance, he must be an Aussie. Noba. 'ken oath Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 ......you git........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I wouldn't know. I live in Victoria, not Western Australia. **shrug** pffft! Like it really matters. It's just one huge Goobernation, after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 One huge, empty goobernation. A good place to send one's criminal elements. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Damned with faint praise - who would want to be liked by Michael? And you can keep your criminal elements, thankyou, we want no part of you at all. We're trying to maintain a standard (why, every other week we arrange for Stuka to be out of the country, spreading his version of goodwill amongst our undeserving neighbours). There's no place like Oz. And if you arrive here via tornado, wearing red high heels, well, you'll fit right in. In Sydney, at least. Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 As for dancing for the Senile Chai's entertainment, I give you this vignette: A flatulent elephant, knee high boots and bloodstains on the floor. The Gnome giggling on his throne, his tonsure misplaced and his eyes bloodshot. Vassals and chain pullers wringing their hands as they try to take the whip from their master, a miasma of fear wafting from their persons and threatening to engulf the dancers. Sword wielding dervishes enter - they begin to carve up the dancers. The elephant scents the fear of the slaves, smells the taste of the whip. Trumpets, pirouettes and reaches. The chain is pulled: the Gnome transmogrifies into a busted flush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Ah haid mah feckin tonsures oot once. Ah was arrested on tha spot, o' course. Dalem tha cleanin' lassie finally sent back tha poxy setoop Ah saint tae haim aboot upmteen months agoo. Which means tha Dalem tha gerbil-tackle laddie hae starrrted tae lose, di ye ken. StukaNukaPukaPants as a sand poondin' git bastarrd nostril reamer. There, Ah feckin said at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 A sand poonder......is that anything like a 16 poonder? They were quite effective against Jerry armour in the western desert back in '42 as I recall...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 And for that, we are eternally gratefull. Anyway, over East the cops just use real bullets, none of this e-lectricity stuff. So when is Western Australia getting electricity? or cars... or television... or other stuff like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Let's have none of this parochial Aussie regional squabbling in here!!!! Show some damned maturaty will ya!! Save your dixie cups men, the South will rise again!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Ovis envy can take be displaced into seemingly innocent ways... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Ovis? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Let's have none of this parochial Aussie regional squabbling in here!!!! Show some damned maturaty will ya!! Save your dixie cups men, the South will rise again!!!Quite right Nidan1, it's unseemly to have them bickering about who the better man or better region is. It's like one county in Kentucky preening about how their pre-teen birth rate is lower than that of the next county. They're all Goobernationals and the only point of pride they have is that we take notice of any of them at all. And Stuka, you're thinking of the 12 pounders HM frigates used in the Napoleonic Wars ... which would be about the right level of technology that our Australian friends would have achieved on their own by now were it not for commerce with their betters. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 A sand poonder......is that anything like a 16 poonder? They were quite effective against Jerry armour in the western desert back in '42 as I recall...... "...a 16 poonder?" Would you care to provide specs and an image of this wonder weapon? Or have you been poondin' the pud so much that the rotting of your brain is now complete? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Ovis? MichaelOr, for that matter, "can take be displaced" ... do you suppose loco weed has been introduced into the British Isles? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 ... do you suppose loco weed has been introduced into the British Isles? Likely it originated there and was brought to the New World by colonists and similar ruffians. Rather like small pox. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Damned with faint praise - who would want to be liked by Michael? Please yourself then, Dotard. I imagine you are quite adept at that since it is unlikely that anyone of either gender would find pleasure in your company. I bet your favorite song is "One Is the Loneliest Number". Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Ovis envy can take be displaced into seemingly innocent ways... Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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