Speedy Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 It is with great pleasure that I announce my brilliant demonstration to Seanachai (he of the lamb stew, yummee) of how not to conduct a defense against the assault. Auto surrender on turn 29? of 30 final score 76 to 23. [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Speedy ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: From the last installment of ... The Trial of Goanna and chrisl: They marched through the partition and wiggled and pushed their way into the jury box. Some whispered consultations eventually led this one to the left, that one to the right but soon all were happy and the stenographers, upon a signal from Miss Rose, settled themselves upon the laps of the Jurors. There were, apparently, several minor adjustments to the seating positions that resulted in quite a few rustlings and shifting about. The jurors, obviously not used to this sort of workout, appeared flushed and out of breath.<hr></blockquote> Guilty!!!...ahem...I mean to say that I need to hear more...say about 2 weeks worth of testimony...followed by an indeterminate time to review the records with Sindy...that's it honey, just a little to the left...ahhhhhhhh...... Speedbump {Note to self: Make sure and send a thank you note to your former Liege, the righteous Joe Shaw} (Edited because I was....ahh, distracted...yeah that's it...) [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Speedbump ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: OFFICIAL JUSTICARIATE NOTIFICATION Apropos of nothing at all, please be reminded that once an SSN has been sent to Coventry, no further communication with said SSN shall be allowed within the bounds of the CessPool. Therefore, if such an SSN should post to the CessPool regarding, oh say, someone's name just to pull a sample out of the hat, CessPoolers are NOT to respond regardless of the idiocy of the post. I've no particular reason for reminding you all of this ... I just felt like being officious again. Damn ... that felt good. Maybe I'll do some CM turns tonight. Joe<hr></blockquote> Turns????? Well, do wonders never cease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem: "Jury Box" <hr></blockquote> Now you have my attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Wildman Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 That's is your Justicarness. You pathetic and coniving will end today. I cast the light of truth and daring, (Well ok, the light is from the Willow-the-wisp created by all the gas in here, but I digress) on your scaly and scabby hide. To send poor,innocent, attractive stenographers to the likes of dalem is unforgiveable. (Especially since I did't get one.) I will carve my satisfaction from your greasy, alcohol soaked hide. Until you scream for mercy from MrSpkr and denouce your heathen ways, or until I get a stenographer of my own. I really good one, don't think I'm not aware of your little tricks. A setup with your doom is on the way, and don't try to foist some IL-2 excuse on my either. I know it takes no time to start and immediately crash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Wildman: That's is your Justicarness. You pathetic and coniving will end today. I cast the light of truth and daring, (Well ok, the light is from the Willow-the-wisp created by all the gas in here, but I digress) on your scaly and scabby hide. To send poor,innocent, attractive stenographers to the likes of dalem is unforgiveable. (Especially since I did't get one.) I will carve my satisfaction from your greasy, alcohol soaked hide. Until you scream for mercy from MrSpkr and denouce your heathen ways, or until I get a stenographer of my own. I really good one, don't think I'm not aware of your little tricks. A setup with your doom is on the way, and don't try to foist some IL-2 excuse on my either. I know it takes no time to start and immediately crash.<hr></blockquote>Now we see the violence inherent in the system. This is what comes of (^) letting clowns like Wildman in the CessPool and {wudjalikefrieswidat?) improper challenges. We'll ignore, for the moment, the fact that the "challenge" is rife with spelling and grammatical errors enough to make even Bauhaus weep. We'll ignore the pathetic sentence structure. We'll even ignore, though we won't forgive, the ASSUMPTION that I'll play HIM for Gawd's sake. We will NOT ignore, however, the proper challenge procedure as specified in the Code Duello. Where is the appointment of a second? Are gentlemen to tussle in the street like common vagabonds? No sir, an affair of HONOR must be carried out with HONOR. You simply MUST appoint a second, I shall do the same and the matter may proceed from there. But why a second you ask? Allow me to explain. You propose to "send a setup" to me. What sort of setup, set when, under what conditions? As the challenged party I am entitled to choose the ground you know but you blithly ASSUME that I'll fight you on ground of your own choosing. I recently was sent a battle by Moriarty. He explained in the email that it was one "He had been working on for some time." Obviously, then, it was not to be a double blind fight. But worse, upon opening the battle I found that he had sent me ... NO TROOPS! Now I may live in Utah but I'm not THAT stupid. And he expected us to fight for FIFTY bloody turns with no troops, or, more likely, he expected ME to fight with no troops. So you see lad, there are good and sufficient reasons for adhering to a good code, and the Code Duello is the best. Now ... try again like a good little Wildman. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Wildman Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Now we see the violence inherent in the system. <hr></blockquote> The system that you are trying to manipulate like a rotten Lawyer. I suppose that I could have spelled out that I was sending you a Byte Battle from the esteemed Der Kessel, but I know that leaving that small detail out would make you froth at the mouth like a vicious little poodle. Therefor, and ergo, I have called a second by default as the scenario sent was designed by Germanboy and playtested by Peng. Now I realize that your a banker and need five forms of ID and everything in triplicate, but this should suffice even for you. So if your done hiding behind "the rules" and your ready to become impaled on the wrath of my forces. (Notice I didn't mention my spear, Bauhaus) Send the file! If that Byte battle is not sufficent for you then offer up an alternate solution, you pillock. Your obviously faint of heart and I can only hope that your poor Morman Wives don't see your cowardise. [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Wildman ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknodathon: ...thistles, grass, lots of grass, the occasional apple when someone can find the time from their busy day to drop one, more grass.... and thistles... I suppose a SnowDrop MIGHT make a change... if it didn't move, which I'm sure it might if it could... does the SnowDrop need crayons? <hr></blockquote> Dear Donkey - may I call you Ass for short? Dear Ass, Thankyou, I would appreciate the loan of your favorite red crayon - yes, that one, the one with OGSF's toothmarks on it, at the bottom of your toybox. Since the sum total of your tactical acumen appears to be "walking in circles in a field", I'll just mark it on the map with a big red X and go back to drifting gently atop the cess. Language difficulties, don't you know. Goddam conscript French FO's can't understand "up 100 and fire for effect" to save their own lives. In fact, they can't even understand "STOP DROPPING SHELLS ON OUR OWN LINES YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN" to save my life. But big red crayon marks on maps, those they understand. Expect a little... disturbance... to your thistles shortly. PS I think Hiram, Eeyore of the MBT is looking for you. Something about trademark violation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Wildman: The system that you are trying to manipulate like a rotten Lawyer. I suppose that I could have spelled out that I was sending you a Byte Battle from the esteemed Der Kessel, but I know that leaving that small detail out would make you froth at the mouth like a vicious little poodle. Therefor, and ergo, I have called a second by default as the scenario send was designed by Germanboy and playtested by Peng. Now I realize that your a banker and need five forms of ID and everything in triplicate. So if your done hiding behind "the rules" and your ready to become impaled on the wrath of my forces. (Notice I didn't mention spear, Bauhaus) If that Byte battle is not sufficent for you then offer up an alternate solution you pillock. Your obviously faint of heart and I can only hope that your poor Morman Wives don't see your cowardise.<hr></blockquote>Let us suppose, for the moment, that I would accept your CLEARLY unacceptable challenge and your use of a "default" second (I can readily see why you'd resort to such a subterfuge ... it must be difficult finding anyone who would act for you ... perhaps an offer of cash for their assistance might help). The Byte Battle to which you refer ... WHICH Byte Battle is it? Because you see I've played MOST of them and the battle would, therefore, be unfair as it would not be a double blind battle in which both sides were unaware of the particulars. Furthermore, how am I to know that YOU have not "peeked" at the battle prior to commencement? I know, for example, that you are not only Air Force but worse ... that you live in North Dakota! Need I say more about your inherent trustworthiness ... I didn't think so. The value of the Code Duello, in this situation, is that it allows GENTLEMEN to do battle with some assurance that HONOR will be maintained. I'm afraid I simply must insist on the proper forms being adhered to. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 Joe, quit being a wuss and just accept the challenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 Wildboy, as your former Kanigget and Master, I offer my services as your second in this affair with the Brave Sir Jo. I have several playtested, but unreleased little dust-ups on my computer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Joe, quit being a wuss and just accept the challenge.<hr></blockquote>Hiram I'd have expected more of you as a long time CessPooler. Without our HONOR, lad, we are ... well Bauhaus not to put too fine a point on it. I am determined, determined I say, to improve the squalid nature of the challenges in the CessPool. Furthermore, I reaffirm the right of ANY Knight of the CessPool to refuse a challenge at any time for any reason. I shall accept a PROPER challenge, in the proper forms, from Wildman. So far I've seen little to differentiate his challenge from the spittle flecked and shield gnashing bellows of rage that pass for challenges from OGSF AND I WON'T HAVE IT! Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Hiram I'd have expected more of you as a long time CessPooler. Without our HONOR, lad, we are ... well Bauhaus not to put too fine a point on it. I am determined, determined I say, to improve the squalid nature of the challenges in the CessPool. Furthermore, I reaffirm the right of ANY Knight of the CessPool to refuse a challenge at any time for any reason. I shall accept a PROPER challenge, in the proper forms, from Wildman. So far I've seen little to differentiate his challenge from the spittle flecked and shield gnashing bellows of rage that pass for challenges from OGSF AND I WON'T HAVE IT! Joe<hr></blockquote> Yes, it's true that I do know something of the goings on of the Cesspool at large. I also know that you squirm and whine all too often when a proper challenge has been given. Normally, I wouldn't even glance your way because your cowardice and pomposity doesn't sit well with me. I see that Wildman has indeed issued a proper challenge to you and I do hope you will do the "right thing". We have faith in you, Joe. It's okay to admit that you are scared. Let me know if you need some pointers in game play. (oh, that is a funny one) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: wordswordswordswordswordswords wordswordswordswordswordswords wordswordswordswordswordswords wordswordswordswordswordswords wordswordswordswords..... Joe<hr></blockquote> What? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sledge59 Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 I get it, dalem: "word swords". You are giving Joe a fine compliment on his writing there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 Time for a something we haven't done in a while. A little singsong: Ahem Bravely bold Sir Jo Rode forth from the CessPool He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Jo He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Jo He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Jo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Hiram I'd have expected more of you as a long time CessPooler. Without our HONOR, lad, we are ... well Bauhaus not to put too fine a point on it. <hr></blockquote> Actually that's a pretty fine point....see that other thread on the other board to see what I'm going to do about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 I'm looking for two guinea pigs to playtest a new scenario. Please sign up below. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 Bah! You are all, ALL of you Philistines. Where is the spirit of the CessPool in which the game means nothing but the challenge means all? If the taunting is to be supreme then surely the challenge that LEADS to the taunting must be of like value. I have said that I will play a match with Wildman WHEN ACCOMPANIED BY A PROPER CHALLENGE. And you, Hiram, are by your own words incapable of determining a proper challenge. Let others accept the substandard and ill formed challenges if they wish, I have higher aims. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer: Patch, I checked the mailbox everyday, but the logo you promised hasn't arrived. Hell, even Joe's check will get here sooner if you don't make more effort. Remember, we can still snatch the Justicar back to the Cess Patrol page. A warning....<hr></blockquote> Lawyer, you are a WHINER! The logo is in the Justicar's mailbox...and he will hold onto it until I have receive your certified check in the amount of $5,000. (Did you really think I would do this for free? You penny pinching pillock!) Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sledge59 Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda: I'm looking for two guinea pigs to playtest a new scenario. Please sign up below.<hr></blockquote> Happy to oblige, Croda. Lets see, where has that rapscallion Aussie Jeff gone off to? Game result: Berli's men in camouflage put a wicked, wicked spell on my brown-suited tea drinkers and defeated them in battle. The victory is all mine, however, for Berli already fights wussl for the name of Peng, and Joe Shaw is back in the saddle again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Bah! You are all, ALL of you Philistines. Where is the spirit of the CessPool in which the game means nothing but the challenge means all? If the taunting is to be supreme then surely the challenge that LEADS to the taunting must be of like value. I have said that I will play a match with Wildman WHEN ACCOMPANIED BY A PROPER CHALLENGE. And you, Hiram, are by your own words incapable of determining a proper challenge. Let others accept the substandard and ill formed challenges if they wish, I have higher aims. Joe<hr></blockquote> It would appear that I was wrong. Enjoy this moment Joe Shaw. The challenge was issued without a taunting and therefore cannot be construed as a true challenge. I have been the victim of such a challenge by Bauhaus. I still await the required taunting from this dimwitted personage. Joe, I apolo...AAAARGH I'm sorr....ARRRGH What I mean to say is...I am.. Oh, God our help in ages past, our hope for years to come. Our fortress midst the stormy blast and our eternal home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Sledge59: Berli's men in camouflage put a wicked, wicked spell on my brown-suited tea drinkers and defeated them in battle.<hr></blockquote> Defeated in mind. There I was with my computer picked Huns (yes, that means halftracks), with not a single antitank weapon beyond my never fired fausts. There he was with a Stuart (might be able to handle that) and a friggin' Churchill VII! The one advantage I did have was a lone 81 FO... and he alone broke the morale of my opponent. I was one turn away from retreating my last platoon off the map when the surrender arrived... WOOT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Wildman Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 Sir Shaw, I have decided that your festering, 2nd grade brain may have actually come across one good...ok...adequate idea. That being of course that a knigget of high, or low in your case, may turn down a battle. Of course no where in the rules, does it say I cannot call you the sissy boy that you are. Joe my hatred of you extends further every day. Not only am I forced to read your prattle every day here, I am now forced to find out how you can't "get it up" on that other board. Your travesty knows no bounds. You sir, are a rules lawyer. Yes, that lowest of the low wargamer who blindly follows rule 35a subparagraph b, no matter how mundane and stupendously heinous that rule may be. You are quibbling about the smallest of things, and I don't mean Sir Bauhaus of the Immacualate Thingy. I'm challanging you to step up to the rarified air of combat for the sheer pleasure of watching your opponent cry. I'm salivating over the thought taking your crunchable pixilated soldiers and running over them with my tank thingy, then backing up to make sure that their little bodies are ground up good. So the gauntlet is thrown. If your able to stop shaking long enough, (no matter if it is caused by the DTs) then answer like the craven dog you are and I shall have my former liege build us a field of honor in which to do battle. I await your decision, not with to much anticipation as I'll have to take NODOZE just to get through all the babble. [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Wildman ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sledge59 Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 Do you have any idea what board you are on, Wildman? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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