Peng Tripods: Challenging The Myth

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by CMplayer:

I throw myself upon the mercy of the court

Sod the Hell off! Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Go straight to sodding off</font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Stuka:

I think the Dalek mantlet armour has been mismodelled, Grog Simon, you no doubt have Aberdeen testing range figures in this department?

Hmmm ..... in the absence of one groggy Simone who is keeping a low profile et all, I shall offer in a non-grogporn manner the following well documented FACTS regarding the modelling of DALEK MK IV mantlet armour:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

TOP SECRET

For Your Eyes Only!

Counter-alien Engineering Scientific Studies Unit (CESS)

Aberdeen Weapons Testing Range

113 Griptight Thynn Close

West Aberdeen

April 1st, 2002

**MK IV DALEK TEST REPORT**

By Professor Lu Gnuts (MBsc, HBF, ETc)

® The DALEK MK IV mantlet armour is coated with a special high tensile retro-reflective silver camo paint, made from rare Durablium<SUP>tm</SUP>. It is applied approx. 3 microns thick across the main fascia panels and over the under armour. During live firing exercises that were undertaken recently using captured MK IV DALEKS at the Aberdeen testing range, the following important results were noted:

(O) With 95% mantlet armour purity, the DALEKS could completely withstand the blast of a 155mm HEAT round fired from as close as 100metres.

(f) At only 25 metres, full frontal firing by the same Ponsford 155mm Long Barrel Cannon, fitted this time with Iridium impregnated dum-dum rounds, only achieved what appeared to be superficial scratching of the DALEK's remarkable, ultra-lightweight, impervious armour.

(L) Five (5) DALEKS were driven into a minefield strewn with 150kg Stones<SUPtm</SUP> HE Tank Busting "Jumping Jack Flash" mines. On their rapid (3kmh top speed) progress through the minefield, <U>all</U> DALEKS sustained massive hits by these lethal devices, but exited the minefield with no significant damage (however, one (1) unit suffered a broken directional articulation device, which was soon repaired by cannibalising a hurriedly acquired K-Mart shopping trolley wheel)

(m) An attempt was made to drive a Giant<SUP>tm </SUP>300tonne steam roller over the top of a DALEK. The steam roller merely managed to climb up onto the DALEK's "head" from whence it toppled sideways, unfortunately killing the operator who was trapped underneath the hissing behemoth. Consequently, no further scientific attempts were made using this piece of test apparatus. Suffice to say that crushing forces were impotent in this regard.

(f) In the 7th test session, 25 men armed with Simpson<SUP>tm</SUP> Flame-Master666 flamethrowers were lined up opposite the DALEKS, which were spaced out at approximately 1.75metre exact increments. Each man blasted flaming incendiary liquid over the DALEKS in rapid succession. Although surface charring appeared evident after the completion of this test, a little buffing with GLINT<SUP>tm</SUP> metal polish soon had the armour gleaming like new.

(A) Penultimately, all the DALEKS were loaded into the back of a Boeing<SUP>tm</SUP> MK.XXCM Loadmaster, taken up to 50,000 feet and dropped "head" first onto the concrete apron at the eastwestern edge of the firing range. Incredibly, upon striking the concrete, each of the DALEKS bounced about 150 feet into the air and, like a cat would be inclined, re-landed on their superior hydro-leveller suspended trolley wheels WITHOUT DAMAGE.

(o) In abject frustration at not being able to dent the Uberarmour on the DALEKS, the Testing Range Commander called for assistance from a locally renowned doctor of Metaphysics (with BS in the Vagaries of the Time Continuum), a Dr Who. The good Dr walked up to the first DALEK on offer, pulled out a sharpened wooden stick (approx. 300mm long, 2.15mm in dia and made from under-seasoned balsawood) and proceeded to make a short, sharp jab at the glittering, seemingly inpenetrable DALEK mantle armour, sloped at a remarkable 83.999<SUP>o</SUP>. To the surprise of the assembled scientific engineering community, the stick <U>fully penetrated</U> the armour and short-circuited the DALEK neuro-motor sub-sytem, which expired with a loud "BANG" and a puff of acrid smoke. Suffice to say that the assembled scientific cognisenti were slack-jawed for a considerable moment, for it turns out that the hitherto impermeable DALEK mantle armour is like butter to a cow, when attacked by any implement bearing a cellulose structure - eg: WOOD!

For your ernest action,

Prof Lu Gnuts

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As you can see Mr Stuka, this is no laughing matter......

AJ

[CMplayer]

Holey cow! Is that modelled in the game?

[Lars]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

Sir Lars hath accused me of turning our pbem into a twisted parody of a Russian Front reenactment society. Specifically, he has accused me of committing a gamey massed infantry charge.

Exhibit A: Lars wrote:

Yep, overrun.

This isn't the Russian Front you know.

Did I say Gamey? No, I did not. This is the Cesspool, gamey is to be expected. I was merely pointing out that your British Paratrooper Squads should have had their arms linked together singing "The Internationale" all the way across the open fields.

I didn't hear any singing.

Plus, you can't run while carrying a Bren Tripod.

{P.S. never throw yourself on the mercy of the court, especially around here}

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

Well I certainly don't throw myself on your mercy, ya sourpuss.

Oh, like that's a stretch (like I have any mercy to be thrown upon)

twit

AussieJeff!

*KICK*

Why aren't you stomping CMplayer's guts out!?

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by OGSF:

****tybuggerbumbitchpoopisshar,

John Pertwee were tha baist bah far!

****tybuggerbumbitchpoopisshee,

Darleks shat fer John Pertwee!!

****tybuggerbumbitchpoopisspoo,

Tha Justicar as a Croda stew!

[Chorus]

Ging gang gooly gooly gooly gooly wotcha

Ging gang goo, ging gang goo!

Ging gang gooly gooly gooly gooly wotcha

Ging gang goo, ging gang goo!

Repeat taill ye bum falls off whain ye stand oop.

John Wayne ran lak a wee lassie, an' Kirk were a pillock.

An' here's a wee song tae cheer us all oop...

CrodaOdour sits ain tha old gum tree,

Festerin' git o' tha bush as he...

Laugh CordaOdour! Laugh CordaOdour!

Gay your life mus' bae!!

(Noo tha' there's anythun wrong wi' that, eh?)

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

Enough.

I've sat quietly by while the Pool heaps load after load of unwarranted abuse on M'Lud's poor head, knowing that M'Lud Croda is far too humble a personage to respond to such drivel, but in the words of that sage philosopher Popeye, "I've had all I can stands, I can't stands no more!"

OK, Sir Mac'n'CheeseEarSplittenLoudenBoomerBessYouIsMyWomanNow, you poor, pathetic Irish wannabe, scion of a bunch of thick-browed, hirsute cultural throwbacks who not only willingly eat haggis, but wear clothing more suited for a school for wayward Catholic girls. "Ohh, Ah hope Mither Sooperior dinna fan oot Ah be using me oonderwhare fur a' hanky!"

The fact that you are descended from a tribe of Irishmen called the Scotti, who, due to their abysmal seamanship skills got lost, landed on the infertile rocky crags to the north of Britain and decided that running around shouting nonsense like, "Och! Me wee bairns," to any sheep in the vicinity seemed like a pretty good way to make a living just adds to the calumny that is you.

If you're too thick to pick up on this as you sit there combing the sheep-dip out of that thicket you call a beard, I'm calling you out, Missy.

[dalem]

Shatner and Nimoy's rent earning croak-alongs - already heard 'em. The seventies were a bad time for everyone involved, and I don't question anyone for their methods employed for getting through them.

Trek babes - Marina Syrtis' Deanna Troi has 'em all beat. No attitude, no silicone, no contest.

Captain Sheridan - Agreed. Another universe, another dude who carries his ballocks around in a wheelbarrow.

British sci fi - peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-EWWW!!!

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by OGSF:

****tybuggerbumbitchpoopisshar,

John Pertwee were tha baist bah far!

****tybuggerbumbitchpoopisshee,

Darleks shat fer John Pertwee!!

****tybuggerbumbitchpoopisspoo,

Tha Justicar as a Croda stew!

[Chorus]

Ging gang gooly gooly gooly gooly wotcha

Ging gang goo, ging gang goo!

Ging gang gooly gooly gooly gooly wotcha

Ging gang goo, ging gang goo!

Repeat taill ye bum falls off whain ye stand oop.

John Wayne ran lak a wee lassie, an' Kirk were a pillock.

An' here's a wee song tae cheer us all oop...

CrodaOdour sits ain tha old gum tree,

Festerin' git o' tha bush as he...

Laugh CordaOdour! Laugh CordaOdour!

Gay your life mus' bae!!

(Noo tha' there's anythun wrong wi' that, eh?)

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

Enough.

I've sat quietly by while the Pool heaps load after load of unwarranted abuse on M'Lud's poor head, knowing that M'Lud Croda is far too humble a personage to respond to such drivel, but in the words of that sage philosopher Popeye, "I've had all I can stands, I can't stands no more!"

OK, Sir Mac'n'CheeseEarSplittenLoudenBoomerBessYouIsMyWomanNow, you poor, pathetic Irish wannabe, scion of a bunch of thick-browed, hirsute cultural throwbacks who not only willingly eat haggis, but wear clothing more suited for a school for wayward Catholic girls. "Ohh, Ah hope Mither Sooperior dinna fan oot Ah be using me oonderwhare fur a' hanky!"

The fact that you are descended from a tribe of Irishmen called the Scotti, who, due to their abysmal seamanship skills got lost, landed on the infertile rocky crags to the north of Britain and decided that running around shouting nonsense like, "Och! Me wee bairns," to any sheep in the vicinity seemed like a pretty good way to make a living just adds to the calumny that is you.

If you're too thick to pick up on this as you sit there combing the sheep-dip out of that thicket you call a beard, I'm calling you out, Missy.</font>

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by dalem:

Shatner and Nimoy's rent earning croak-alongs - already heard 'em. The seventies were a bad time for everyone involved, and I don't question anyone for their methods employed for getting through them.

Apologist.

Trek babes - Marina Syrtis' Deanna Troi has 'em all beat. No attitude, no silicone, no contest.

What in the heck are you thinking? The woman looks like a gussied up version of Zorba the Greek! And time has certainly been, err, unfair to her.

British sci fi - peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-EWWW!!!

Well, at least you got that part right.

Steve

[Patchy]

OK, I need to know this...am I the only person on this thread who isn't a Trekkie?

:confused:

Persephone

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Persephone:

OK, I need to know this...am I the only person on this thread who isn't a Trekkie?

:confused:

Persephone

I am reliably informed that there is a difference between a "Trekkie" and a "Treker". Apparently a "Trekkie" is any girl who wanders around Star Trek conventions attempting to pull the pants off Leonard Nimoy ... therefore, one can only assume that a "Treker" is some GUY who wanders around the same conventions with the same aim.

Joe

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

OK, I need to know this...am I the only person on this thread who isn't a Trekkie?

:confused:

Persephone

I am reliably informed that there is a difference between a "Trekkie" and a "Treker". Apparently a "Trekkie" is any girl who wanders around Star Trek conventions attempting to pull the pants off Leonard Nimoy ... therefore, one can only assume that a "Treker" is some GUY who wanders around the same conventions with the same aim.

Joe</font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Persephone:

OK, I need to know this...am I the only person on this thread who isn't a Trekkie?

:confused:

Persephone

No, you're not.

But I do like Shatner's and Nimoy's singing for the pure comedy value.

Although they could have done drugs like the rest of us to get through the 70's.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

It must hurt to be so wrong, so often. The term "Trekker" is an alternate for Trekkie. Notice how I spelled it correctly. Both groups were started after the original series was taken off the air and a huge fan base appeared to petition for a new series to appear. This was during the seventies, when you were in your mid forties, Joe. I'd explain how the cartoon came to be but a new series didn't appear until after Star Trek The Motion Picture, but that would be lost on all of you Kirk haters.

Oh Hiram, how it must have hurt you so to transform from the meek and apologetic towel boy that you once were to the spiteful, hateful bag of wind that you have now become. Obviously you lost some wind out of your sails during the transmogrification, because you are so dearly wrong about this one.

The original letter-writing campaign begun by irate fans was after NBC announced it would be cancelling the show, back in '68 after the second season had wrapped. Stunned by the little squiggly marks on paper, the apelike ancestors that even then ran TV programming schedules were put off their feed long enough to forget to hit the "Kill" button on their banana-scented neckboards, and so things limped along for another season - the hateful season of space hippies and "What have you done with Spock's brain?!?"

The terms "Trekkie" and "Trekker" predate the seventies, going back to the death throes of the original show.

Or something like that.

[CMplayer]

I'm proud to say that I was born (in Baltimore) one month to the day after the airing of the first episode of that venerable TV-show. That was also during the '66 World Series which my home team, the Orioles, believe it or not, won. Twice I've been within inches of getting squished by a falling tree, and once lightning hit so close my hair stood up straight on my head. Oh you should've seen the look on my mom's face that time. So I've always considered myself a pretty lucky guy.

Now if that sycophantic little creep Pussie Jeff whom you all have taken to your bosoms for no other reason than that he flatters you with his stale imitation of 'cess wishes for a challenge, then he can have one. It would be a pleasure to vex that short, fat, hairy, lead-poisoned bugger who's putting him up to it.

[CMplayer]

The third season wasn't all bad. Spock rocked on that vibrotar thang o' his.

Headin out to Eden, yeah brother...

Headin out to Eden, yeah brother...

Eat all the fruit and throw away the rind...

yeah.....brother.

[Roborat]

What is wrong with you idiots??? There is no such thing as good British science fiction, particularly that stupid Dr. Noclue series. Anytime I felt the urge to see poor acting and terrible special effects, I would watch an episode of Thunderbirds, or whatever that cheesy puppetmation space show was called, the name escapes me as my brain deliberately expelled that knowledge years ago. Besides, everybody knows that Red Dwarf was the only good british SciFi series.

And as for Star Drek, you are all wrong! I have only one name for you: Captain Pike, the best captain, hands down, of any of the various series, including the cartoon, as he died almost immediately. The rest should have taken their cue from that.

[CMplayer]

Not to mention:

Hail, hail, fire and snow

Call the Angel we shall go

Far away

Far to sea

Friendly Angel Come to me

(And that glittery being that shows with the swooshy evil voice reminds me a bit of our local shaggy demon...)

[CMplayer]

Sorry guys 'n gals, the memories keep bubbling up...The first season was just brilliant, great stuff:

Joey, put down the knife!

Why are we here? We don't belong in space. We're polluting it!

Joey, no!

That scene is so intense on pot, almost as good as Baretta.

Okay I'll stop now.

[Boo Radley]

British SciFi? Whew...lot of really, really putrid stuff out there. Space 1999, for example. That Barbera Bain. What an actress! She ran the emotional gamut from A to B, didn't she?

And what was that one with the silver haired guy and the satellite named S.I.D.? U.F.O? That pretty much sucked canal water through a straw.

[Croda]

Originally posted by Persephone:

OK, I need to know this...am I the only person on this thread who isn't a Trekkie?

:confused:

Persephone

Absolutely not.

[Croda]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

I'm proud to say that I was born

I imagine your parents aren't quite as proud.

[ April 24, 2002, 04:20 PM: Message edited by: Croda ]

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