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Peng and his Challenge go to White Castle


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Originally posted by Seanachai:

'I am a bright, shining star and the last best hope for all mankind.'

Do you know bright shining stars eventually go bang then collapse into a black hole, sucking every thing in?

Mace

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Originally posted by Mace:

PS topical huh?

PPS I'm really going to burn in hell.

No, you're not. You're going to be seated for eternity in a jacuzzi filled with champagne, so that even if you should bob beneath the surface, you'll still get a mouthful of the 'good stuff'. Beautiful Maidens (and by 'maidens', I mean 'nasty dirty girls who completely thrill to the very most sodden fantasies of men') will feed you sherbet, beer, and prawns. Your every most degenerate, hedonistic need will be seen to by those you find most attractive.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding.

You're going to burn in Hell. With a capital 'H'. Whenever you think you can't take it any more, and are on the verge of madness, Rleete will appear to you with large breasts, and forcibly kiss you 'open-mouth, with excessive tongue'. You will attempt to then 'go mad', but will suddenly find yourself distracted by a cricket match, where some inane Aussie team appears to win, causing you to jump up and down.

While jumping, you will suddenly realize you're wearing the 'field hockey' uniform of a Catholic Girl's School, and that Englishmen are pointing at you and laughing. While you attempt to 'cover' yourself in a way that men don't necessarily concern themselves with, you'll realize that the scene has, inexplicably, shifted, and that you're in an Australian Tourism Board ad, in which you're being gently, but forcibly mated with by a Koala Bear.

At this point, you'll wake up, and realize that you're in Hell.

After that, things get a bit grim.

Unless, of course, you choose to be the Top Aussie Archbishop of Whatever Freaking Down Under Hellhole of a Province you live in, and accept me as Pope.

It's up to you. My ability to pull your quivering little marsupial brain right out of your body, and, Matrix-like, plug it into the most rancid of human experiences, is almost infinite.

Can I count on your vote in the College of Cardinals, Macey?

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Originally posted by MrPeng:

And now, A Bowie Song "Eight Line Pram" I mean "Poem"

The tactful cactus by your window

Surveys the prairie of your room

Mobile spins to its collision

Clara puts her head between her paws

They've opened shops down on the West side

Where all the cacti find a home

But the key to the city

Is in the sun that pins the branches to the sky

Now 'good' Messiah, I want 245 (2+4+5 = 11 a most holy number) pages of single spaced 6 point Times New Roman on the aforementioned lyric and its significance to the post war (if you have to ask which war you are no Messiah of mine) pre-Bush, neo Jeffersonian, Quasimodo John Paul II, anti-heretical, baby booming, Jet Setting dance crazylegs of the hemi-apocalypsodic Quixotic vengance fantasies of Ken Phranton my next door neighbor and his 22 year old adopted Ukranian orphan daughter named "Svetlana." Need it by 9 ay em Eastern Standard or Daylight Wednesday week or you will be subjected to some seriously righteous wrath. Oh, and No Posting in the MBT until it is finished. With footnotes, end notes, verifiable journal references (non of your googled internet trash - this is to be a scholarly work!). And I want a stenographer. Of my own. here. now.

Who the feck do you think I am?

Peng's bloody essay writer?

I'm YOUR fecking Messiah... I teach err stuff to err people (or in some cases cacti) and that’s about all I do, want to do or indeed is capable of doing

However it just so happens that I have a spare morning or two & the cave is looking rather bare so I might & I mean I might, look up your rather suspicious sounding words written by that ‘blessed George from Mars’ fellow… but don’t expect it in any haste.

Sheesh what happened to all the ‘good’ deities who stay the feck away except to forsake ME every once & awhile?

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Originally posted by Sir 37mm:

Who the feck do you think I am?

Peng's bloody essay writer?

Freaking young people today.

I could have done it in a day and a half, if the ale held out.

You'd think a stalwart young lad, used to the hideous infighting, double-dealing and homoeroticism of today's Scientific and Academic 'publish or die' writing imperative wouldn't even blink an eye at a simple, psychotic request for tumpty-tum pages of gibberish from Peng.

I guess those days of easy going, free flowing inspiration are gone...perhaps forever.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Can I count on your vote in the College of Cardinals, Macey?

Hell yes.

I wasn't going to at first but you convinced me after the bit about being forced to wear a girl's hockey costume and being rogered by a Koala.

That's two of my most favorite fantasies!

Mace

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Posted by Peng's Failed Messiah.

....if I’m to save the One Thread, to produce not more miracles but better miracles!

I realise I need miracles within miracles wrapped up in miracles with a hidden miracle near the end…

Miracle number 1 … I call on Noba to play with me

Miracle number 2… in a game which ISN’T CM, but involves Sheep, and goats, and Llamas..

Miracle number 3… and show me how to produce the greatest AAR ever produced!

Miracle number 4... it will be released, when he is good and ready....

My reasoning?

By Berli's beard. You have absolutely no idea about timing...here we are on a cusp, an absolute knife edge in the history of the world - Seanachai about to become Pope (Lord Help us) and you want me to flog you around on the electronic battlefield until you bleed, and bleed, and bleed...? Good idea. Send a setup.

Noba.

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Notice, that whenever Seanachai gets one of his hair brained schemes going...the first allies he tries to gain are the Aussies?

Now I am not one to point fingers, or criticize, but it certainly is a pattern that has repeated itself quite often in these Threads .

I think that before we make any commitments one way or another, we investigate fully any connections between Seanachai and the Commonwealth Mafia.

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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

A COMPLETE PAPAL DISPENSATION TO THE FIRST 25 SINNERS WHO EMBRACE ME AS POPE!

And by 'embrace', I mean full body hugs, but no tongue.

Anybody know where I can get a gross of full body condoms? </font>
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Originally posted by Nidan1:

Notice, that whenever Seanachai gets one of his hair brained schemes going...the first allies he tries to gain are the Aussies?

Because we are reliable...and NEVER late into a fight.

<font size=-3Not like some we could mention..TWICE!</font>

Noba,

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Originally posted by stikkypixie:

What the hell, first a messiah, and now a fricken pope? Which one of you freaks is going to dress up as Mary?

This from someone with "sacred" in his sig. Pathetic. Next we'll be having a donkey posting...

Noba.

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The Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread is firmly and unequivoc ... uneqiviol ... without doubt FOR the acension of Seanachai to the throne of Peter.

Then we could crucify him upside down, how cool would THAT be!

Joe

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Originally posted by Noba:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:

Notice, that whenever Seanachai gets one of his hair brained schemes going...the first allies he tries to gain are the Aussies?

Because we are reliable...and NEVER late into a fight.

<font size=-3Not like some we could mention..TWICE!</font>

Noba, </font>

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Originally posted by stikkypixie:

What the hell, first a messiah, and now a fricken pope? Which one of you freaks is going to dress up as Mary?

Oh Me! I will. I have GREAT legs (when shaved) and look fairly darn virginal in a blue robe.
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Originally posted by MrPeng:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by stikkypixie:

What the hell, first a messiah, and now a fricken pope? Which one of you freaks is going to dress up as Mary?

Oh Me! I will. I have GREAT legs (when shaved) and look fairly darn virginal in a blue robe. </font>
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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Quick! Where is Cardinal Boo?!

Working out what the music should be for your triumphant procession to the gates of St. Peters.

How would this be?

Every day, I get up and pray to Jah

And he decreases the number of clocks by exactly one

Everybody's comin' home for lunch these days

Last night there were skinheads on my lawn

CHORUS:

Take the skinheads bowling

Take them bowling

Take the skinheads bowling

Take them bowling

Some people say that bowling alleys got big lanes (got big lanes, got big lanes)

Some people say that bowling alleys all look the same (look the same, look the same)

There's not a line that goes here that rhymes with anything (anything, anything)

I has a dream last night, but I forget what it was (what it was, what it was)

REPEAT CHORUS

I had a dream last night about you, my friend

I had a dream, I wanted to sleep next to plastic

I had a dream, I wanted to lick your knees

I had a dream, it was about nothing

REPEAT CHORUS X2

(Camper Van Beethoven)

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