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Peng and his Challenge go to White Castle


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Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Speaking of which, have you been tipped to cabron's return? Check the thread in the CMBB forum about Volksgrenadiere...

Don't toy with me, Michael!

Oh my God! Could it be true? My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it's going to explode right out of my chest!

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Did they have - the Schiznitz?!

Geez, goes to Chicago once and he's already doing the gangsta bit.

Nothing more horrible to see than an old gnome loaded down with bling and his pants hanging down to his *ss...

***Cue Persephone***

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*The Messiah crawls out of his (now stinking) cave*

Behold yi Saviour oh craven fools for I’ve had yet another revelation!

The glorious Peng himself has spoken to me or at least somebody has spoken to me… I suppose it could be the radio or something but I did tell the disciples (well disciple really) not to turn the bloody thing on; that, the TV & the CM machine (otherwise known by fools as a ‘kompewta’) and seeing as a potted cactus is unlikely to disobey me I think I’ll stay my whipping hand from Harold’s thorny flesh & just assume it was Peng… anyway what was I saying… err yes that was it… something about a revelation…

Yes a revelation!

I’ve realised that I need to do more to…

What’s that?

Is that me dear OLD Justicar?

*The Messiah staggers towards the blinking fool (and literally blinking, tis the aura of light you see… either that or the lab ethanol)*

You’ve fecking returned I see… left US all alone with a danglyless false Justicaress who’s done nought but show YOU & I mean YOU in a good light!

I don’t know who’s more contemptible the Heretical witch (who I was thinking of making an angel of Peng), YOU or that fecking gutless Kiwi…

…

…

No it probably is the kiwi who’s the most contemptible… yes definitely the kiwi… anyways err… what am I doing here again?

Ahh yes the revelation…

Okay roight I’ve realised in my infinite wisdom (or more correctly infinitely forgivable wisdom… actually more correctly than that would be my wisdom that is infinitely forgiven by me) that I need, if I’m to save the One Thread, to produce not more miracles but better miracles!

I realise I need miracles within miracles wrapped up in miracles with a hidden miracle near the end…

Miracle number 1 … I call on Noba to play me

Miracle number 2… in a game of CM which ISN’T 2pounders & tigers

Miracle number 3… and to help me produce the greatest AAR ever produced!

Miracle number 4... it will be released... ou... outsi... it will be released in another thread

My reasoning?

I’m thinking it’s downright bloody disgusting that those faux Cesspooler-lites, the wafflers, have a better AAR than us (that damned Parabellum versus Mastergoodale thing) and even more vile than that is the fact that the grogs have those Ron versus Priest things…

No it is an insult too far… Peng knows how many lost sheep (confused by the endless statistical accuracy of Italian sniper threads) have been snatched away from us (calm down Mace) by lesser threads having better AAR’s?

Dear Peng the numbers are perhaps incalculable but I’d guess they're in the dozen range!

That is my revelation… I thank Peng (or the radio) for it.

*The Messiah steps back into his dark abyss*

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Sir 37mm:

left US all alone with a ...false Justicaress...

Right. There is something unquestionably wrong with the title 'Justicaress'.

It shall never be used again, upon pain of death. </font>

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Originally posted by Sir 37mm:

*** more snipperage than at which you can shookened a stick ***

(now stinking) cave

*** yet even more sniperificationness ***

And now, A Bowie Song "Eight Line Pram" I mean "Poem"

The tactful cactus by your window

Surveys the prairie of your room

Mobile spins to its collision

Clara puts her head between her paws

They've opened shops down on the West side

Where all the cacti find a home

But the key to the city

Is in the sun that pins the branches to the sky

Now 'good' Messiah, I want 245 (2+4+5 = 11 a most holy number) pages of single spaced 6 point Times New Roman on the aforementioned lyric and its significance to the post war (if you have to ask which war you are no Messiah of mine) pre-Bush, neo Jeffersonian, Quasimodo John Paul II, anti-heretical, baby booming, Jet Setting dance crazylegs of the hemi-apocalypsodic Quixotic vengance fantasies of Ken Phranton my next door neighbor and his 22 year old adopted Ukranian orphan daughter named "Svetlana." Need it by 9 ay em Eastern Standard or Daylight Wednesday week or you will be subjected to some seriously righteous wrath. Oh, and No Posting in the MBT until it is finished. With footnotes, end notes, verifiable journal references (non of your googled internet trash - this is to be a scholarly work!). And I want a stenographer. Of my own. here. now.

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The Way Before Me is finally clear!

Hunter S. Thompson is dead, and the Papacy is open.

NOW IS MY TIME!

FINALLY, THE BEGINNING OF THE WORLD'S FIRST GONZO PAPACY!

I can't wait to see Ralph Steadman's artwork of my first ride through cheering crowds in the 'popemobile'...

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Alright you've got my vote. May I make a Modest Proposal for your initial Papal Bull? Its about that whole transubstantiation thingy... why not cut out the middle man and go for real blood and flesh. There are plenty of homeless we could use. Get them to a safe house, fill them full of antibiotics, detox them properly and then hack them to bits and feed them to the faithful.

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OH, YEAH! I'M GONNA HAVE ME A BIG HAT! A REALLY, REALLY BIG SODDING HAT! AND NO COWS!

AND ACCESS TO THE FINEST PERUVIAN FLAKE, FAT, RESIN SLICK BUDS OF COLUMBIANO, AND ALL THE 'FDA, WE DON'T NEED NO STEENKING FDA' PHARMACEUTICALS THAT THE IMMENSE POWER OF THE VATICAN CAN POUR INTO MY PALSIED, TWISTED, GRASPING LITTLE HANDS!

YEAH! IT'S GOOD TO BE THE POPE!

You ever been to Vatican City? I mean, you walk through closet after room after building filled with gold, silver, and priceless works of art.

IF THAT'S POVERTY, BABY, BRING ON THE CELIBACY!

And Peng, why should we abuse the Homeless? After all, the Poor are what keeps the whole edifice going!

WE'RE GOING TO EAT THE RICH, CHILDREN! IT'LL BE A BLOODY SACRAMENT!

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

There is something unquestionably wrong with the title 'Justicaress'.

Nothin' wrong with just a caress... 'cept that it is a bit of a tease. Ok, justa caress is fundementally wrong...

Oh wait... were you talking aboot somefink else?

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