**YK2** Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by Nidan1: The cannons are manned and ready Our Queen !!! Now which way do you want us to point them? Errrrr over there >>>>> Points at Emrys Frigate HMS Petticoat in the distance ..... Looks like he's below deck adding some more hair gel and tweaking the hairs from his nose... A good time to <big> ATTACK </big>.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Ummmm *raises hand* Queenie, how do we actually load these pointy thingies? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by Speedy: Ummmm *raises hand* Queenie, how do we actually load these pointy thingies? IDIOT ! Get out of the way. Stand here ! (Where does she get this crew from ?) Right. Lift the open end so it points straight up. Got it ?? Good. Reach over and grab some of that black powdery stuff from that barrel - Don't drop the open end ! Right, add a couple of cups worth. Go on, bit more, more, close enough! Good. Right, see that heavy, round, black ball - stuff that in next. Wait ! Stick this pad in first. Good. Grab that rod thingy with the fat end and stick it onto the heavy, round, black ball - hard like. Good. Now g e n t l y lower the open end so the heavy, round, black ball doesn't fall out and point it through the hole in the side of the ship ! OUTWARDS....fool. Good. OK. That was the easy bit. Now get a teaspoons worth of the black powdery stuff and pour it carefully into that little hole at the other end to the open end.....Good. Right, grab the fire ropey thing, it's called a taper. Blow on it to get it glowing real good like. Now when the enemy ship goes in front of the open end of your cannon, stick it in the little hole and quickly put you fingers in your delicate little ears..... Here it comes... Ready... DO IT !!!!! <font size=+3>Don't stand BEHIND I..........t.</font> Noba. Ex Master Gunner. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Looks at a loose selection of parchment papers, entitled "Ye Olde Manual For Canon Model LXCVII" Oh, great! I think it was translated from Japanese or somefink...the first diagram shows a cigarette with a bar through it and says, "Having not lighted of the tobacco products with open fire near the happy-joy powder of dragons as removing of body digits may occur." Okay, hunker down, this may take a while. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Listen you fools...just point the long end at the other ship!!!! You got that???? I swear by my beard, that will be the last time we use the impress gangs in Australia!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Sorry....none of the Aussie Gang has impressed me... Rune 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by rune: Sorry....none of the Aussie Gang has impressed me... Rune Oh No ? Stand over here, bit closer. Good. Keep still while I grab my baseball bat....... Noba. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Just popping in to say that I dislocated and separated my sholder this weekend snowboarding. Figurered my misfortune might improve your mondays. Lorak 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Then I have nothing to fear, you guys don't even play baseball. If you try to hit me with a cricket bat, I imagine it will take you four days to even get to that point, a typical game lenght. Your soccer team is rated 81, 70 below that of the US. Your rugby team couldn't even beat the Pommies. You have mace running around with a sheep on his shoulder, dareing people to knock it off. As I said, not impressed by the Aussie gang. Rune 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkur Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 While we're figuring out the cannons and all, a jolly sing song might do the trick—everybody join in now: CHORUS: Up, up, up your premium. Up, up, up your premium. PIRATE: [singing] Scribble away! CHORUS: Up, up, up your premium. PIRATE: [singing] And balance the books. CHORUS: Up, up, up your premium. PIRATE: [singing] Scribble away! CHORUS: Up, up, up your premium. PIRATE: [singing] But manage the books. CHORUS: Up, up, up. PIRATES: [singing] It's fun to charter an accountant And sail the wide accountancy, To find, explore the funds offshore And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy! It can be manly in insurance. We'll up your premium semi-annually. It's all tax deductible. We're fairly incorruptible, We're sailing on the wide accountancy! PIRATE: [singing] Sail away! CHORUS: [singing] Up, up, up... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by rune: As I said, not impressed by the Aussie gang. Rune Well I was!! Rune. Did you not note the way in which Noba handled those guns and cannons?... I was very impressed. Then again.. it doesn't take much to impress me.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkur Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Har mateys! Perhaps the next volly should be buckets o' cess instead of cannon balls. We'll see what happens to that prancing Captain's freshly pressed lace then! Arrrrghggghhh! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by YK2: Then again.. it doesn't take much to impress me.. Well, well, pirates is it? Will this work? I thought I'd wait till Thursday to give Emma her Coronation Gift, but why not be the first, eh? Here it comes, drum roll please.... . . . . . . . . . I'M OUTTA HERE!!!! That's right, you drunken pirate wanna-be sots, I'm out of here Friday morning at 6ish {god, I love going on ish time...} headed for the Caribbean. I'll be aboard the 236-foot Barquentine Mandalay taking a nice long two week cruise through the Windwards & Leewards with another week off just to lay on the beach. Bwahahahaha!!! While you sad jokers are pretending, I'll be drinking rum and Caribs where Pirates of the Caribbean was filmed. Starting at Grenada and then working up through Carriacou, Tobago Cays, Mayreau, Bequia, St. Vincent, St. Lucia, Martinique, Dominica, Iles des Saints, Nevis, and Antigua. Aaaargh mateys, I get happy feet just thinking about it! Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life for Me!!! So come on Emma!!! Ditch that stuffy gown, grap your bikini, and be my Keira Knightley!!! Hmm, 84F in Grenada today, we better pack more sunscreen... {p.s. - No turns till the 18th...} {p.p.s. - If I come back..} {p.p.p.s - Which ain't looking good...} SSN Hint Of The Day: Never forgive or forget. Now sod off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Just like Lars, I'm on vacation. From my job! Permanently! [does layoff dance] DRINKS! I NEED DRINKS!!! [continues layoff dance] Hmm... [continues layoff dance...] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by Lars: So come on Emma!!! Ditch that stuffy gown, grap your bikini, and be my Keira Knightley!!! Hmm, 84F in Grenada today, we better pack more sunscreen... I'd be careful Lars .. I could do with a holiday and may just take you up on that... Ho Ho Ho... and a bottle of Morgans Spiced please. Have a great time Lars and if you see Jack give him a great big smooch from me please... *sigh* Goes back to dreaming of the high seas... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Jesus, God and a shiver of timbers, I'm gone for a day and Peng shows up, the whole lot of ya steal my schtick and all I'm left with is an Xbox running a copy of Bill's-Own Microsoft Viking, as I download every synth-pop sea shanty ever cursedly produced. You lot are prolific, but where you lubbers spew quantity, this privateer prefers quality. Arrrrrrrr No 'g', no 'h', no punctuation, no damned punctuality, neither. Wait till I get my hands on yer women... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Ey, lads, since you's can't satisfy 'er, I'm taking her queenship to her beloved high seas. It's quite romantic, I tells ya, she'll be able to scrubs me galleys, wash me many pairs a' tights, grease the yardarm (Eh, Dalem, see, I can be just as bloody sleazy as I wants, we've crossed into international waters, which means sleaze, gamblin' and monkey knife fights) and perform the other, usual, wenching duties. Ya ha! ARRRRRRRR 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: Just like Lars, I'm on vacation.Good, that'll give you time to shovel my drive while I'm gone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: Ey, lads, since you's can't satisfy 'er, I'm taking her queenship to her beloved high seas. It's quite romantic, I tells ya, she'll be able to scrubs me galleys, wash me many pairs a' tights, grease the yardarm (Eh, Dalem, see, I can be just as bloody sleazy as I wants, we've crossed into international waters, which means sleaze, gamblin' and monkey knife fights) and perform the other, usual, wenching duties. Ya ha! ARRRRRRRR A pirate? Is that who you think you sound like? Once again Meeks, you show your blazing ineptitude. Aiming for Blackbeard and hit this guy spot on. Got Spinach? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by Lars: I'M OUTTA HERE!!!! That's right, you drunken pirate wanna-be sots, I'm out of here Friday morning at 6ish {god, I love going on ish time...} headed for the Caribbean.Generally speaking, Lars, when you need to flee the country to avoid law enforcement authorities, its best not to issue a notice including the date and time of your departure and your destination. Here's hoping the dobermans sniff you out before you make the county line. Papa 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: Just like Lars, I'm on vacation. From my job! Permanently! [does layoff dance] DRINKS! I NEED DRINKS!!! Rumour has it there's beer in your fridge, bastiche. {serious} Sorry to hear that, Dale. Perhaps this will lead to something bigger and better. {/serious} Papa 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by Papa Khann: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: Just like Lars, I'm on vacation. From my job! Permanently! [does layoff dance] DRINKS! I NEED DRINKS!!! Rumour has it there's beer in your fridge, bastiche. {serious} Sorry to hear that, Dale. Perhaps this will lead to something bigger and better. {/serious} Papa </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Yeah, this definitely falls under the "more glad than sad" category. I needed a boot in the butt to get a job that makes me happier and this is just that - a BIG boot in the butt. Luckily it's not a big surprise - I've been figuring my number was up for months. Not that I don't still hate you all, of course. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: Yeah, this definitely falls under the "more glad than sad" category. I needed a boot in the butt to get a job that makes me happier and this is just that - a BIG boot in the butt. Luckily it's not a big surprise - I've been figuring my number was up for months. Not that I don't still hate you all, of course. And we you. Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: Yeah, this definitely falls under the "more glad than sad" category. I needed a boot in the butt to get a job that makes me happier and this is just that. So now it's time to start pursuing your dream of Zamboni maintenance? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.