Unto the land of Peng, a Queen is come

[Lars]

Originally posted by Mouse:

Unlike some others of you, I had other matters to attend to in the past two days, which for the calendar-challenged among you, included weekend, and a festive one at that. Full of alcohol, costumed revelers, and more alcohol.

I've heard of these "mouse" parties.

Perv.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Some of us don't have to get our women drunk to have fun with them -- they come to our beds willingly.

So how long have you had this delusion?

Fantasies are wonderful, but when they take over your daily existence, they can be dangerous.

You don't take pleasure in hurting small animals..do you?

[Aces_and_8's]

*Slaps hands together and rubs vigorously* Right, let's get to it...

Originally posted by MACE:

Hey Aces and 8s, a query if I may?

Is licking batteries a prerequisite for being a Marine Corps Officer?

MACE

Tell me again who pulled your cord and you may not; however, I am in a generous mood and will answer your inane question. No, but peeing on an electric fence after forcing two canteens of water is. Care to try? Scratch that. Wouldn't want you frying anymore of those precious braincells, now that you are seemingly down to the minimal requirements for continued existence.

Next:

Originally posted by Girly, Twirly, whatever the hell your name is:

Gawd yur dumb! Proof positive that ALL Marines should go through Parris Iland or San Diago. You are a second lieutenant, aren't you? Ensigns and boot lieuies, the dumbest creatures on Gods green earth. Ok, just for old times sake...

SIR, PENG IS NOT AN ACRONYM, SIR!

SIR, MRPENG IS A POSTER ON THIS BOARD, SIR!

SEMPER FI!

Look Shirley

The fact that you spelled both Island and Diego wrong has me concerned that I am dueling with a half-wit. You did, however, spell acronym correctly, which I admit, shows rudimentary intelligence, or just skillful use of cut and paste. Former Marine eh? I think I got you pegged as a Warehouseman. Go supply, never die, RAH OOH, RAH OOH. Loud and obnoxious gits, who open their sewers just to hear themselves speak and whine incessantly about the injustice of having to leave garrison for the field. Why dont you go count things, or did you already forget that most basic of skills, paid for by Uncle Sam, just for you, so you could at least contribute...something.

Semper Fi and Happy Birthday Marine

Originally posted by Nidan1

There is nothing dumber than a boot Second Looie, now run along and polish your shoes, if you are still suckin air on the 10th, I'll wish you a Happy Birthday.

Semper Fi!

Nidan1

Well, well, well

Lemme ask ya something stud. Have you ever had an original thought in that bulbous mound atop your neck that you call a grape. Probably not. I will explain: 1. Couldn't you come up with something more original than jumping on the 'Dumb Looie' train with Hurley? 2. Your displayed name is Nidan1. Cripes, least you could have done is found a name that someone hadn't already used, or would that be outside the scope of your limited intellect and ability to formulate an original thought. Wait, already answered the 'original thought' issue through points 1 & 2. Please, think hard, but don't hurt yourself. Formulate something...dazzling, or am I asking too much of you.

Semper Fi and Happy Birthday.

Joe

Send your brother and son my best on this 228th anniversary of our beloved Corps.

Dalem

Pull your head from the interior of that freshly painted paper bag in which it seems securely ensconsed. That's better. See, there is a world on the outside.

[ November 03, 2003, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: Aces_and_8's ]

[ozi_digger]

Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

*Slaps hands together and rubs vigorously* Right, let's get to it...

****snip****

Pull your head from the interior of that freshly painted paper bag in which it seems securely ensconsed. That's better. See, there is a world on the outside.

Must start with courtesies, so greetings and salutations etc., to Queenie. Love ya work...

Ooh, this guy has wit. Well more than Tiny Tinker anyway.

But reminds me of every officer I've ever come across... a FONC.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

Originally posted by Nidan1

There is nothing dumber than a boot Second Looie, now run along and polish your shoes, if you are still suckin air on the 10th, I'll wish you a Happy Birthday.

Semper Fi!

Nidan1

Well, well, well

Lemme ask ya something stud. Have you ever had an original thought in that bulbous mound atop your neck that you call a grape. Probably not. I will explain: 1. Couldn't you come up with something more original than jumping on the 'Dumb Looie' train with Hurley? 2. Your displayed name is Nidan1. Cripes, least you could have done is found a name that someone hadn't already used, or would that be outside the scope of your limited intellect and ability to formulate an original thought. Wait, already answered the 'original thought' issue through points 1 & 2. Please, think hard, but don't hurt yourself. Formulate something...dazzling, or am I asking too much of you.

Semper Fi and Happy Birthday.

Didn't want to over-tax the several brain cells you may have left, son. Sorry won't happen again. I guess you've heard all the brown bar hacks by now...who knows you may even be a Colonel and a bell weather example of the Peter Principle in the military.

[tiny_tanker]

I come forth, a humble warrior from the House of White Brook, to lay my battle worn sword at our Lady and new Queens feet and pledge my services to her rule. ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!

ozi have your standerds been reduced so much that you find wit in what is surly inane rambling. If so than you have my sympathy. Maybe your master should slap you with a rolled up newspaper and set you straight.

[Buzzsaw]

I'm not sure who this Louie person is that eveyone is talking about, but he sounds French, so I'm all for giving him the boot.

The rest of you are pillocks, especially Tiny Tadger. I hope your computer ends up in the dead letter office, so that I will never have the displeasure of playing you.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

Tell me again who pulled your cord and you may not; however, I am in a generous mood and will answer your inane question. No, but peeing on an electric fence after forcing two canteens of water is. Care to try? Scratch that. Wouldn't want you frying anymore of those precious braincells, now that you are seemingly down to the minimal requirements for continued existence.

Crikey, I've never seen a jarhead so aggressive before.

*backs away*

Ok.

Then licking batteries must be a hobby then?

Mace

[ozi_digger]

Originally posted by tiny_tanker:

ozi ...[snip] Maybe your master should slap you with a rolled up newspaper and set you straight. [/QB]

No, no, you misunderstand. Rolled up newspaper is only for stuff like apologising to Seanachai .

BTW Mace, why are you posting? Why is your magic silicon portal not going into hysterics, after the 12Mb of gunk I sent you this morning?

[i'd like to add that I got up 15min early just to do it, too].

[rune]

This one amuses me, in that carry him to the belltower and claim sanctuary sort of way. I take it as a serf, if there be no objections, or even if there are...I don't care.

It amuses me to have a butter bar report to the Navy, not that there is anything new in that. Besides, if it gets out of line, my brother is a Senior Chief assigned to the jarheads, and I am sure I can make its pathetic life miserable.

Acey Duece, pick a victim, offer a good challenge, and I want an AAR when you are done. I want three before I give you your final task to make you a Squire. Show some panache...oh sorry, forgot whom I was speaking too. Grunt grunt, squeal, grunt, point.

Hmm...to amuze me, your first minor quest is to explain to Berli , another ex-jarhead why SOS is was and shall always be Creamed Chip Beef on Toast.

Rune

[ November 03, 2003, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: rune ]

[Aces_and_8's]

Originally posted by ozi_digger:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

*Slaps hands together and rubs vigorously* Right, let's get to it...

****snip****

Pull your head from the interior of that freshly painted paper bag in which it seems securely ensconsed. That's better. See, there is a world on the outside.

Must start with courtesies, so greetings and salutations etc., to Queenie. Love ya work...

Ooh, this guy has wit. Well more than Tiny Tinker anyway.

But reminds me of every officer I've ever come across... a FONC. </font>

[tiny_tanker]

Well Buzzy Boy guess what came to my door today, thats right the sight of an impending major victory against you. My harrowing adventure with airborne express has finally ended. And my computer is returned.

My gauntlents are also back from the armory, all sparkeling and clean, with new spikes on the knuckles just waiting for battle.

*wallops Buzzy with his gauntlent* I challenge you foul sir. In front of the Queen and the Olde Ones I swear to vanquish you.. or be destroyed trying.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Therefore, be advised that the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread not only endorses the reign of Her Majesty Emma I but offers our own fine selves as her loyal and steadfast vassals and wish to remind Her Majesty that our OTHER title is that of Knight Champion of the M.B.T. and therefore, it's obvious, we are Knight Champion in Service to Her Majesty as well.

May we humbly beg the boon of a favor from Our Liege Her Majesty Emma I?

Joe

You have to admire the Justicar. He even doffs and kneels in an upright, stiff-necked way.

I imagine that should he ever turn his hand to toadying, the recipient would still be left in doubt as to what was being kissed, and why.

[BFCElvis]

Dear dalem,

You are correct. I noticed the typo a while ago and didn't feel like fixin it or doing somfink.

It's probably time to change it anyway. With any luck you have all purchased the CD by now and enjoyed the song (as a side note either Squeeze or Glen Tilbrook did a GREAT cover of the song...also worth checking out).

Love,

Elvis

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Seanachai, surprise me by sending more than one turn this week, what say you?

You're one of the few that's getting one every other day or so, Caliban, and that's simply because I like you, so cease your calumny. Good job on the final version of my Temple. Looks a little Nouveau World for my taste, but at least it bespoke 'massive', 'impressive', 'stone', and 'grovel' to the viewer.

Now, if you don't mind, the Church of Seanachai's resident god needs to set about producing various manifestations and portents to illuminate the ascension of Queen Emma.

You know the sort of thing: comets, unnatural weather, miraculous births, MrSpkr showing a modicum of kindness to another human being, praise being offered up to me by just about anyone, etc. etc. etc.. Standard 'That Was the Year' package of Significant Occurrences to show that said Ascension was both pre-determined and divinely inspired.

I have so far managed one Unnatural Occurrence (Berli smiled), and two Miraculous Births (well, one birth, one miraculous pregnancy). Noba's grandson will be the first ever Australian of Wit, Intelligence, and Perception (broke a right orgulous sweat pulling that one off, you can be sure), as well as bringing progeny to the marriage of my ex-Squire R Leete (Behold the Power of Liege!).

I knocked up Leete's bride (metaphysically speaking) in the UK, which makes it as near a virgin conception as is possible under modern conditions.

[ November 03, 2003, 09:37 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[ozi_digger]

Nope Ace , you still sound like a FONC . If the true meaning of the acronym still escapes you, try looking up FINCL in your Ranger Joe's.

It isn't that I have troubles or issues with my genitalia, its just... you sound like so many bog rats I've come across before.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

No I am not French. As a matter of fact, I am quite irritated with the French due to a crappy product with even crappier instructions on how to assemble.

Aren't you just supposed to inflate it?

[Mace]

Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

First Mace, now you. Don't you have a Joey or somefink you should be violating?

Naaah, mate. You're much more fun, and you don't jump around as much.

Mace

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

You have to admire the Justicar. He even doffs and kneels in an upright, stiff-necked way.

Are you kidding? He's so tightly wound I'll bet that every time he sneezes, he has to change his shorts.

p.s. Glad you like the new digs. It's almost, practically, pretty much up to code too. I did have to use lead paint on everything, so those that you require to do a lot of "face on the floor" groveling and kissing of various statuary, might leave with even fewer working synapses than when they came. But, I figure with this lot, who's to know?

[tiny_tanker]

Howdy Ace i believe you have me confused with someone from texas, or worse *shudder* oklahoma. The Mighty horsemen of Kansas have none of those steering the queer and piling up our dung activities that the marines must have taught you. And we don wanna know about them neither

I'm curious do they even let the marines have tanks? I know they don't trust you guys enough to find your way to the battle, thats why the navy and airforce have to haul you guys everywhere. But do you also have to rely on the army so that you don't get blown up or squished ( i'm sure your not quick enough to get out of the way ) by enemy armor?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

*Slaps hands together and rubs vigorously* Right, let's get to it...

Behold, all! Another miracle of the Church of Seanachai, noted in the chronicles in this year of the Assumption of Our Lady Emma the Fair!

For unto them came a half-witty Marine, who did abuse the others of The Corps, and did make savage remonstrance with many another complete lackwit.

Yes, indeed, er...'Aces'. You are proceeding well enough, but you must assumes stern expression forego these 'Thingy' references which discredit your wit and do damage to these hallowed halls.

Well, not so much 'hallowed', as 'only pissed in by intelligent and humourous sorts, and that in a desperate attempt to rinse out the words of lesser beings'.

So, forsake these lowly references to Tiny Todg...Think...Tankers almost surely merely metaphorical equipment, and think 'Cyrano'.

turns head and pretends to cough while hiding smile

Rune, unless he blows up big-time in the near future and proves a flash in the pan, I acknowledge and second your proposal of Serfdom.

Another Marine. Just what we needed. As the Sheikh said to the Eunuch Harem Guard: Consider yourself lucky, my good man. The damn sand gets into everything.

[ November 03, 2003, 10:15 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

You are proceeding well enough

Bloody oath!

He's a feisty little critter. Reminds me of a tasmanian devil. Cute buggers but got a bit of a temper, and sharp, pointy teeth.

Still, here's hoping that Runey makes a fine upstanding cesspooler out of him....and equally that Runey loses a few fingers in the process!

Mace

[ November 03, 2003, 10:40 PM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Aces_and_8's]

Originally posted by tiny_tanker:

Howdy Ace i believe you have me confused with someone from texas, or worse *shudder* oklahoma. The Mighty horsemen of Kansas have none of those steering the queer and piling up our dung activities that the marines must have taught you. And we don wanna know about them neither

I'm curious do they even let the marines have tanks? I know they don't trust you guys enough to find your way to the battle, thats why the navy and airforce have to haul you guys everywhere. But do you also have to rely on the army so that you don't get blown up or squished ( i'm sure your not quick enough to get out of the way ) by enemy armor?

Kansas...hmmmm...didn't we drop you guys back to territory status a few years back? Oh well, no matter, I hear the plan is to sell you to Canada in the near future. More worthless area to add to what already amounts to nothing other than a desert with perma-frost. No great loss. Come on...I will help ya out, sing with me, 'OOOHHHH KAAAANUUUDAAAA, hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm'. See, its easy. They purposely wrote it that way so simpletons, such as yourself, could easily climb aboard and join in the fun. Hey, if you play your cards right, Kansas could be the new Canadian vacation paradise. The Canada Keys...kinda sings, don't it?

Now, what was the other drivel that spewed forth from the nasty hole in the middle of your face?...Ah yes. The purpose behind the Marine Corps not having its own strat-lift (that's moving things and people from one place to another place far, far away) is two fold. 1. They need jobs for the Squids and the Air Farce (Read: Taxi driver. The Air Farce is closest to taking this to heart with their silly little greyhound bus driver uniforms. The squids run a close second with their insistence on dressing up like 'Good Humor' men.) 2. Limit our options for movement, and we can't take over.

The Army? The only thing the Army does for the Marine Corps is provide us with comic relief.

Now my miniscule_refueler friend, I have a challenge for you...*reaches for glove, strikes tiny_tanker repeateadly about the head and shoulders, dumps ball bearings out*...leave the penis pump where its at, you can pick that up later along with your teeth. I am thinking PBEM at 10 paces. Because I am an officer, and by virtue of my office, also a gentleman, I will allow you to choose the venue, whether it be meeting engagement, assault, delay, breakout from encirclement, etc. I will also give you the opportunity to choose your side and year in which this fracas will occur. I myself am kinda fond of both MOUT and armored reconnaissance/counter-reconnaissance battles. I can send you a setup or will receive yours. I await your answer.

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

No I am not French. As a matter of fact, I am quite irritated with the French due to a crappy product with even crappier instructions on how to assemble.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Boo Radley

Aren't you just supposed to inflate it?

INFLATE IT??? Goddammit. *stomps away grumbling to self*

[ November 04, 2003, 12:11 AM: Message edited by: Aces_and_8's ]

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Mace:

Still, here's hoping that Runey makes a fine upstanding cesspooler out of him....

Rune has never been much good at bringing up Cesspoolers, absentee Kaniggett that he is. Just makes em Squires, gives them a pointy stick and gives em a push at some other confused younster. No way to raise a young'en if your asking me. Look at my lot for example. I was the original latch-key squire. Imagine the horror of being alone in the pool, Seanachai at the front door, and only vague instructions from my Liege not let in strangers (and they don't get much stranger than you lot), and to bring him Croda's ears.

[Joe Shaw]

I don't know ... oh sure he seems to have the right attitude and a proper sense of things but damn it all ... Aces_and_8's (spelt but not bolded) just isn't EASY to type.

I suppose we have no choice, even though he WAS proposed as Serf by no more than rune, which is just about as low as you can go without having ANOTHER Serf propose you. Still, rune you have rights of first refusal on the Serf Aces_and_8's (spelt but not bolded) should he prove worthy of elevation to the rank of Squire. But remember, I have to judge his worth ... and I'm not going to go easy on the lad, a Marine he may be but a CessPooler ... time will tell, time will tell.

I'm in Phoenix, tomorrow I'm off to Texas ... it's day one of my two week trek across the southwest ... now if I can just get my expense accounts done.

Joe