What the Peng is wrong with my Challenge Thread? (USA)

[rleete]

You know Seanachai? I post, and I get 3 or 4 replies in a row. Livens things up a bit. Stuff every man can relate to.

You post, and people just...well...ignore the old fool drooling in the corner, and pretend he isn't really here pissing himself.

Sort of makes you wonder why you bother getting out of bed at all, doesn't it?

(Come on. I've given you at least a couple of pretty harsh shots in each of the past couple of threads, and you haven't replied at all, or just barely. Chicken?)

[dalem]

Hey R_leete-

Years ago I found a great description on the Man Show web site for what you're signing up for that day. Something about "your wife's cooter looking like a catcher's mitt full of lasagna".

All I really know is that I got one of my nicknames at my last job from the guys who thought I "went too far" in my non-PC observations. Once at a department lunch thrown by my then-pregnant boss, the gals' side of the table was ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the technicalities of preggersville, and us guys, all of them younger than I by about 10 years, were talking about something else. Then I heard one of the girls ask Lola if she was going to take any meds for the birth. Lola responded "only in an emergency". I looked over and said "Are you kidding? Anytime something that big (hands indicating softball sized object) is trying to come out of something this big (finger and thumb squeezed tightly together to indicate rough size of my bosses presumed vaginal orifice), it's a damned emergency."

[rleete]

Oh, yeah. Since I seem to be here entertaining the wall and keeping the carpet awake, I thought I'd continue to ramble.

A special mention goes out to our very own esteemed girly-man extraordinare. That's right, the honorable Sturmsebber himself. After a comment deemed inappropriate by a certain stuffy member of our twisted congregation (and you know who you are), I retracted said comment. In true cesspool fashion, Sturmy rejected the retraction, and demanded satisfaction. On the field of battle, you degenerate, gutter-minded simpletons. Extra points for having more backbone than most of you pre-invertabrates could ever even imagine.

Alas, he has dropped the ball. When I begged out of the aforementioned game, he relented! What a sap. I mean, you could fool Boggs with an excuse like that (he clearly doesn't have a clue), but the old "wife is preggers, I don't have CM:AK" excuse is so lame only a SSN would fall for it. Loss of down and 15 yard penalty. Which puts you on par with the average day in the life of Boo. Bad form, old chap.

[dalem]

Even R_leete quotes me in his sig. I am the best writer on this whole damned BBS.

Ain't that funny Seanachai? All your writin' and typin' and learnin' and books and stuff, and the only person insane enough to quote you in his sig is Peng hisself, whereas my words are preserved like the precious marmalade of life itself by all and sundry.

Kinda makes you think, don't it?

[rleete]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Idiot! Of COURSE it's too late, he's already married meaning that he has NO control over his life at the best of times. She's pregnant meaning that she's about as stable as a vial of nitroglycerin and she's made up her mind to "go natural" ... suck it up boy ... be a man and smile and "coach" damnit, coach!

Well, at least you got this part right. Except nitro is about a dozen times as stable as an 8 month pregnant woman. Who knew farting at the breakfast table was such a horrible crime, and would involve tears and flowers?

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

However, rleete you're a FOOLE!

Girls are Gawd's gift to daddys, man.

Oh, but a big fat zero here. Girls may be all well and good for grandfathers, or even greatgrandfathers. Not that you will ever be confused with greatness. But fatherhood? Never. Think proms, first dates, monobrow boyfriends and cars. (Why do dalem and Boo keep coming to mind?) No, I like my cardiac rhythm just the way it is, thankyouverymuch.

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Noba:

Guess who has a CD full of tank pics...?

Guess who needs to start crawling NOW for a copy...?

Hmmmm.

Speedy, mate, WE think WE have a job for you.

KING (LORD OF DELEGATION) MACE </font>

[rune]

rleete ,

May I suggest Sir Charles Barkley's idea for his girls? Kill the first one that dates his daughter, then he figured the word would get out.

Luckily, I was sane and only had boys.

Last, and most importantly, Chris 'Jr. Evil' had a scenario that passed the tests, so anyone want a scvenario involving:

Crunchie things

November 1941

Things that go boom.

More things that go boom

Throw in some more crunchies

British

German

Some scouting things that go boom

An Oasis

A Sandstorm

Let me know. I will laugh at you then send it to you.

Rune

[SturmSebber]

Originally posted by rleete:

Oh, yeah. Since I seem to be here entertaining the wall and keeping the carpet awake, I thought I'd continue to ramble.

A special mention goes out to our very own esteemed girly-man extraordinare. That's right, the honorable Sturmsebber himself. After a comment deemed inappropriate by a certain stuffy member of our twisted congregation (and you know who you are), I retracted said comment. In true cesspool fashion, Sturmy rejected the retraction, and demanded satisfaction. On the field of battle, you degenerate, gutter-minded simpletons. Extra points for having more backbone than most of you pre-invertabrates could ever even imagine.

Alas, he has dropped the ball. When I begged out of the aforementioned game, he relented! What a sap. I mean, you could fool Boggs with an excuse like that (he clearly doesn't have a clue), but the old "wife is preggers, I don't have CM:AK" excuse is so lame only a SSN would fall for it. Loss of down and 15 yard penalty. Which puts you on par with the average day in the life of Boo. Bad form, old chap.

I hereby post dispersions on your character, past sexual trysts and family tree, as required and asked for i your recent e-mail.

HAHAHAAAAA! I feel mean already.

Hmm no wait, that won't do... *caughs* *clears throath* *raises vocal volume*

Sir, nay, peasant, nay, larva...hmm..nay, "lifeform"..yes, "lifeform" will do just fine. Un-dear lifeform a-R-sewhipe LEETE , never, EVER, in my dwellings amongst the most obscure,decadent and filthy meetingplaces for sexhungry arserubbing homosexuals ; preforming the most disturbing acts of copulation, acts that would make baby Jesus cry, let alone J-J-Rambo. Acts, so foul and deviated, that even Abu Ghraib seems like a holiday ...well, never amongst these depraved souls have i met a creature less intelligent, perverse and twisted than you.

I've spent times in darkrooms that would make Dante Alighieri add another chapter to his "inferno". I've travelled along the most barren and inhospitable wastelands of Africa.I've talked to bloodthirsty neo-nazi's, with eyes as red as mars and brains the size of a peanut. Yet never has a creature brought more disgust to my cold heart than YOU .

YOU , lifefrom, are the ultimate proof that God DOES make mistakes. AND at the same time you make firewood of Darwin's "survival of the fittest" . The poor sod would poke out his eyes with a red hot iron,jump off a roof (head first) and scream all the way down "curse you RLEETE ! Every day you drag your useless corps around on MY beautifull planet, is a day too many. Your stench is unbearable, and the idea that you may , god knows how, reproduce is repulsing, even to me, and as described above, i've seen quite a lot.

SO, i'll take it upon myself to rid the world of your ceasless mumbeling, and put you to rest for GOOD. If your two braincells manage to work together , i'll expect an e-mail SOON.

The Pink Knigget

STURMY

[ May 29, 2004, 08:44 AM: Message edited by: SturmSebber ]

[Joe Shaw]

rleete ... you're wrong, I'm right and you'll realize it if you should be lucky enough to get a girl. Nyah, nyah, nyah.

Sure you have problems with girls, but you have problems with boys too AND girls ... ah, never mind, good luck in any case and enjoy them.

Kobal2 (spelt but not bolded), you have nothing to worry about, I trained Papa Khann ... after a manner of speaking ... I can relate to ANYTHING, I mean anyone.

Joe

[rleete]

Ah, yes. Warms the heart to see an original and proper taunt. Almost makes me want to send a setup. Almost.

[stikkypixie]

Originally posted by SturmSebber:

I hereby post dispersions on your character, past sexual trysts and family tree, as required and asked for i your recent e-mail.

HAHAHAAAAA! I feel mean already.

Hmm no wait, that won't do... *caughs* *clears throath* *raises vocal volume*

Sir, nay, peasant, nay, larva...hmm..nay, "lifeform"..yes, "lifeform" will do just fine. Un-dear lifeform a-R-sewhipe LEETE , never, EVER, in my dwellings amongst the most obscure,decadent and filthy meetingplaces for sexhungry arserubbing homosexuals ; preforming the most disturbing acts of copulation, acts that would make baby Jesus cry, let alone J-J-Rambo. Acts, so foul and deviated, that even Abu Ghraib seems like a holiday ...well, never amongst these depraved souls have i met a creature less intelligent, perverse and twisted than you.

I've spent times in darkrooms that would make Dante Alighieri add another chapter to his "inferno". I've travelled along the most barren and inhospitable wastelands of Africa.I've talked to bloodthirsty neo-nazi's, with eyes as red as mars and brains the size of a peanut. Yet never has a creature brought more disgust to my cold heart than YOU .

YOU , lifefrom, are the ultimate proof that God DOES make mistakes. AND at the same time you make firewood of Darwin's "survival of the fittest" . The poor sod would poke out his eyes with a red hot iron,jump off a roof (head first) and scream all the way down "curse you RLEETE ! Every day you drag your useless corps around on MY beautifull planet, is a day too many. Your stench is unbearable, and the idea that you may , god knows how, reproduce is repulsing, even to me, and as described above, i've seen quite a lot.

SO, i'll take it upon myself to rid the world of your ceasless mumbeling, and put you to rest for GOOD. If your two braincells manage to work together , i'll expect an e-mail SOON.

The Pink Knigget

STURMY

Have you per chance, seen my turn on one of your wonderful journeys?

[SturmSebber]

Originally posted by stikkypixie:

Have you per chance, seen my turn on one of your wonderful journeys?

Aren't you supposed to be saving whatever there is to be saved from your exams?

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kobal2:

I'm stuck in here with soon-to-be vegetables...

I could be worse. It could be donkey. </font>

[Lars]

Kobold2, {you do realize that name just makes you a second-rate German miner imp? Sheesh, even they got it right on the first stab...} your worst nightmare is about to be realized as soon as Shaw figures out how TRP’s work. Look for the setup about, oh, say September if he’s true to form.

So until then, sharpen your pickaxe and practice breathing in a flooded mineshaft. I’m coming to fill in the hole boyo.

[Kobal2]

Kobal2 (spelt but not bolded), you have nothing to worry about, I trained Papa Khann ... after a manner of speaking ... I can relate to ANYTHING, I mean anyone.

Hmm...which means somehow you'd still relate even though I was a cross-dressing aquaphobic lemur believing he's the reincarnation of a 13th century Uzbekistani ballet dancer and hence feeding only on fossilized grubs.

I don't know if I can take comfort in that.

@Lars : ho ho ho, a pun or play on words, is it ?

Though you do have a point, as I'll do my best to get you right (in the nadgers) not on the first stab, but maybe on the 512th. It's not all that fun if you murder people quickly.

You, my lad, are about to become...geography.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Kobal2:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Kobal2 (spelt but not bolded), you have nothing to worry about, I trained Papa Khann ... after a manner of speaking ... I can relate to ANYTHING, I mean anyone.

Hmm...which means somehow you'd still relate even though I was a cross-dressing aquaphobic lemur believing he's the reincarnation of a 13th century Uzbekistani ballet dancer and hence feeding only on fossilized grubs.

I don't know if I can take comfort in that.

@Lars : ho ho ho, a pun or play on words, is it ?

Though you do have a point, as I'll do my best to get you right (in the nadgers) not on the first stab, but maybe on the 512th. It's not all that fun if you murder people quickly.

You, my lad, are about to become...geography. </font>

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by rleete:

Wait until you see the afterbirth -- or until they ask you to come help "give the baby it's first bath".

Heheheh. Buy whiskey for the event. Slip it into her travel bags so you know it isn't left behind. When you hear the baby's first scream, drink it.

You owe me a beer next time you're down here.

Steve

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Girls are Gawd's gift to daddys, man. Boys are cool, every guy wants a boy to carry on the name, play football, yada, yada, yada ... but girls are SPECIAL! When they come running out to "model" that new frock Momma bought, when they look up at you with those big eyes and pigtails and ask you to read the story just "one more time, daddy." And you get hugs from girls ... forever. Boys stop doing that "sissy stuff" around ten or so. Pray for a little girl my friend, you'll never regret it.

Right up until the moment the bring some poor kid home and tell you "daddy, he reminds me of YOU!"

Then you have a choice -- homicide or suicide. Whatever happens, SOMEBODY is going to die that night.

To put it another way -- with my son, I only have to worry about ONE zipper. With my daughter, I have to worry about hundreds.

Steve

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Girls are Gawd's gift to daddys, man. Boys are cool, every guy wants a boy to carry on the name, play football, yada, yada, yada ... but girls are SPECIAL! When they come running out to "model" that new frock Momma bought, when they look up at you with those big eyes and pigtails and ask you to read the story just "one more time, daddy." And you get hugs from girls ... forever. Boys stop doing that "sissy stuff" around ten or so. Pray for a little girl my friend, you'll never regret it.

Right up until the moment the bring some poor kid home and tell you "daddy, he reminds me of YOU!"

Then you have a choice -- homicide or suicide. Whatever happens, SOMEBODY is going to die that night.

To put it another way -- with my son, I only have to worry about ONE zipper. With my daughter, I have to worry about hundreds.

Steve </font>

[Kobal2]

Whatever, you formaldehyde-preserved maniac.

I'll be glad to explain in bright details how this little protégé of yours got away with his tail between his legs (is that an english expression ? Attempt at litteral translation here. My teachers would probably burn me at the stake for this.). Why, nothing is sweeter than first hand maiming, except of course watching the horrified look and tears of pain streaming across his friends' and peers' faces while you perform.

PS : Lars, let me know when you've sent the setup. I've got a slight spam-and-virii problem, and am mass-deleting 40 cubic meters of spam a day, my usual method of mail gentrification being "if it's not from someone you know, and it has a file attached, napalm it".

[ May 29, 2004, 02:38 PM: Message edited by: Kobal2 ]

[Boo Radley]

Gamey Updates:

(Brought to you by Grandma's Old Fashioned Toe Jam)

Joe Shaw: You know, if the daft bozo would just stick with a plan, he might pull off a win once in awhile, but knowing his humming bird-like attention span, it may be asking far too much. He was soundly thrashing me in an unbelievably horrid scenario devised by Kitty and Mace, but his men are now being shot, barbequed, blown up and shot yet again by my stalwart Mericun troops.

Sad, really.

dalem After playing a cat and mouse game of "Who's going to cave first and send a scenario?", I grew bored and sent him a scenario. Named "Cat and Mouse" appropriately enough. Now, I just have to see if the dim bulb can figure out how to hit "GO".

Lars: Is just getting his large, spotty behind chewed up and down the map in "A Port For Patton". Every time his tanks or men move forward, they either run into my tanks, my guns, my machine guns or artillery.

The guy couldn't buy a break if you first gave him the money and then took the money away and gave him the break...or somefink.

Seanachai: I haven't seen a move from him in a month or so as he's too busy contemplating that huge divit he calls a navel. We're still playing a CMBB game, so that'll give you an idea of how long this has dragged on. Of course I'm thrashing him soundly. (Can you hear me laughing at you, Olde Man?)

Papa Kahn: Keeps popping his turrets up over the crests of the sand dunes and I keep putting big old holes in them. 25 pounders make real big holes, too.

Malakovski: and his merry band of rabid Aussies (or Brits...who can tell the difference? They both talk funny.) are killing my Italians softly with their songs.

No big surprise there.

MrSpkr: His mountain is slowly being reduced to a mole hill and his Germans are fleeing in droves.

I've driven them to drove.

Nidan: Who would have thought a moving Firefly could hole a Panzer IVH in scattered trees at about 1200 meters? Well, Nidan would now.

Hiram, Leeeeeeeo & More-Arty: Send moves now! I desire to gloat over the burned, wrecked shells of your armor! I wish to delight in the anguished screams of your men...and stuff.

As for the rest of you, I know you all think that my eventual defeat at your hands is right on the horizon, but I would remind you that the horizon is an imaginary line that recedes as you approach it.

(That little piece of Zen wisdom is brought to you by Aims Guns. "Ed Aims to please and so does Louise, so don't hide arms, buy side arms!")

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by CobaltBlue:

PS : Lars, let me know when you've sent the setup. I've got a slight spam-and-virii problem, and am mass-deleting 40 cubic meters of spam a day, my usual method of mail gentrification being "if it's not from someone you know, and it has a file attached, napalm it".

You really should see a doctor about that......normally you would have to shave your pubic hair and apply an anti-critter unguent, however the napalm thingie might work...just try to hold your breath long enough...after all as all napalm grogs know, it doesn't kill by burning, but by suffocation.

[Kobal2]

Could any of you social cases tell me what in Aicha's name the git is talking about ? I mean the words I understand, it's just that when put together, they don't make any sense whatsoever.

[Nidan1]

Keep trying lad, eventually you might figure it out. Although judging by the shape of your brain pan, it might take a spell.

[Kobal2]

Haven't you ever heard the saying "size doesn't matter, it's how you use it" ?