Geier Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: You lot shut up, and I want every last one of you to come up with a decent quote from a song or poem by your next post.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It would seem that someone has foreseen Peng and the Pool (cept he got the name wrong) and possibly Hiram years and years ago. Who'da thunk it? doctor lawyer beggar man thief, philly joe remarkable looks on in disbelief, if you want a taste of madness, you'll have to wait in line, you'll probably see someone you know on heartattack and vine. boney's high on china white, shorty found a punk, don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk, well this stuff will probably kill you, let's do another line, what you say you meet me down on heartattack and vine. Kinda makes you think. [ 06-12-2001: Message edited by: Geier ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: As for you Getyerhandsoff I think your desire for the wine is causing you to act a little, shall we say, nervous. I nominated once before, and I will say it again: Peng or Seanachai no one but them will do. They are the light and dark side of the Mutha Beautiful Force. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Fancy Leader: Shut you mother lovin' piehole. A buttload of crap spewed on a wall garners more respect than you! Is that your sack crawling it's way back up inside you?! Damn straight! Now.. Good God in a Gravy Boat! You have to be freakin' completely daft if you want Peng or SeanaPoop to play in any tourney with the likes of Fionn. I hate to say this to you.. but Peng sucks at CM worse then, imagine if you can, a giant mass of suckitude so massive and huge that nothing can escape it.. not even the hot wind from Seanacheap's mouth or rear, not that it makes much difference, but imagine it! Okay, got it? Now Peng's playing ability is buried somewhere inside that blackhole of suckitude. And Seanachai's playing skill lingers somewhere really close to the event horizon. You MUST be joking. I am this pool's best chance.....sans PNzer but he hates you all so there. Jeff [ 06-12-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf elsewhere: I am, sans PNZer, I believe the "best" pooler in active duty. I believe I haven't lost a game since... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 On the Wine Tourney Thread, Jshandorrf wrote: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>At this moment I am beating a nomination out of my fellow Poolers' hides. So bear with me... I am, sans PNZer, I believe the "best" pooler in active duty. I believe I haven't lost a game since... I don't know.. last year. Anyway, enough braggin', all I know is all the time I have spent kickin' the snot out poolers is going to finally get me something. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> EXCUSE ME?!?! My god man, would that I were a full kanigget and could thus put you in your place. Here you go traipsing around like a two-dollar whore with a pair of five dollar boots, spreading your wares WIDE for the whole world to get a glimpse at the chasm of your soul. This is intolerable, completely intolerable. I nominate that Jshandrof NEVER BE ALLOWED TO REPRESENT THE CESS-POOL IN ANYTHING EVER. I am ashamed to see our valiant kaniggets (is he EVEN a kanigget??) on such bawdy, gawdy display. Please, some one throw a rug over him. Not to mention his blood-lust without philosophical introspection is QUITE unbecoming. I nominate every other kanigget of the cess (this makes 2 each for Seanachai and Peng!) just so this pathetic fungus on the foot of a whore can't claim to be "...beating a nomination..." Jesus gonna be here Gonna be here soon Gonna cover us in leaves And a blanket from the moon. [ 06-12-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 Gentleworms (and Panties): It appears as if some clarity is required here, regarding the winecape tourney that MrShandorf drools over so shamelessly. I shall provide said clarity, like a good honkin sneeze clears out the nasal cavity. 11. From the scores on the Lorak site it is patently clear to any gentleworm here (or Panties), that the obvious choice that would bring laurels to the pool {and feed his enormous ego in the deal} is shagadelicdorf. 14. his game play is truely a wonder to behold. modest players such as myself have no real chance against him, while good players will have a hard time. when it comes to cesspoolers shagdorf is truely the creme de la scum xII.v Peng (that would be me) can't possibly finish a game that has some sort of end prize or whatever. It isn't in our nature to do such things, and we would hate to let the side down because we are too feckless to finish a pbem or miss a tcp date or something like that. I~v.2 Cesspoolers are notorious for doing just whatever the hell it is they please, regardelss of the consequences and without fear of censure or retribution. Therefore Hiram is our best bet. It is almost certain that he will lose and lose badly, and everyone KNOWS that it is a certainty. So that is why it must be him. No small sacrifice for our little phriend from philly, but Seanachai will consult his rune stones and I ching and the moss under his toilet seat and give us the final answer and it must be Hiram. Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: You MUST be joking. I am this pool's best chance.....sans PNzer but he hates you all so there.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> How the hell did the little useless whelp Petersheepshagger end up in that sentence? He's scared to return my files as it is. Stop pouring amphetamines on your corn flakes and go back to bed. You're just making a ... oh I see. Fair enough. I liked the bit where you told off Fancy Pants. More stuff like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng: Gentleworms (and Panties): it must be Hiram. Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I agree. He is our only hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 ffffft Jshandjob, years ago you served the Pool by giving cheap lap dances. Now it begs you to help it in its struggle against the Outerboards. I regret that I am unable to bring our request to you in person, but the thread has fallen under attack by your own insanely bloated ego and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Chechnya has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of Pengalina's crotch crickets into the memory systems of panties. Any pooligantsi will know how to retrieve it (but will no doubt vehemently refuse while quickly backing away). You must see this SSN safely delivered to the Outerboard Tournament. This is our most desperate hour (pretty obvious if we're counting on your hairy-palmed battle skills). Help me Obi-j shandjobi, you're my only hope. pfffft [ 06-12-2001: Message edited by: dalem ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Another vote for Hiram here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Make it so, number one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Ok, so the bard wants some kind of crap poetry...I'll see what I can come up with quick. Welcome to the Pool my friends, waltz into our humble abode. I realize it is called the cesspool, but it really is not a comode. The Pool to us is a metaphore, it's suface reflects our lives. Although we like to live in it, only a fool would take a dive. It's Dark depths mirror our conscience, instead of algae, here we grow wit. The main boarders think we are crazy, and we think thier full of ****e. Ok, hopefully that will get the bard off my back...for a day or so. Tomb updates: Mark IV-win Jdmorse-loss Aitken-draw Leeo-draw Elvis-Draw Aitken-draw Elvis-win chrisl-loss and what damn tourney do I keep hearing about? Why pray tell do we in the pool even give a rats arse? Everone of us knows that wins/loses don't mean ****e, god forbid we care what the outer boardies think. Lorak the loathed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Oh for cryin' a frickken malt-liquor snarl. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>OOoooo. Look at my big record. Yep, see my big record. Let me kill the outer boardies in thy name. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What the Hell? Berli, if you please, give this pool a glimpse of hell. We don't CARE what the outer-boards think of us. We exist, like the mountains, air, and stink that binds, regardless of their mouth-breathing, bitchin' and whinin' yammering. We are in it for the gaming, the camraderie of those others who are into "over the top and at 'em Boys". So, where was I?.... oh, yeah. So who gives a possible flyin' feck about the wins&losses? I think our representation to the Boards Outre' (okay, a completely off-handed and uninformed butchering of Frenchlish) should be as long winded and bizzarely inappropriate as possible. I therefore nominate Hiram's Phillies Or Seanachai. Oh, and what's wrong with sending Our Evil one? That oughta show them. Oh, and might as well let the "look at my big record"jamminhandsoff have at them as well. Lets send everybody! The squires will thow themselves down upon the barbed wire of meticulously serious inanity manifest in the Outer boards, and knights will cross and discharge confusion into their obsessive craniums. Well, Sod off to the lot of ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 What runs through the mind of an idjit {Jshandorf}: Mister Trouble never hangs around When he hears this Mighty sound. "Here I come to save the day" That means that Mighty Mouse is on his way. Yes sir, when there is a wrong to right Mighty Mouse will join the fight. On the sea or on the land, He gets the situation well in hand. or maybe: Up and at'em it's Atom Ant. He's strength, he's might, He's speed, he's fight. He's Atom Ant, that tiny ant, and his atomic power. Has what it takes and always makes The vilest villian cower. He's rough, he's tough, And bad guys yell enough. When he is up and at'em. Atom Ant. AAcckKKK! Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilgeRat Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Aaarrgh! O the Chesapeake so bold Out of Boston she was towed To take an English frigate Neat and handy, O; And the people in the port, They came to see the sport, Whilst the music played up Yankee doodle dandy, O. Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Now the British frigate's name, 0 that for the purpose came To cool the Yankees' courage Neat and handy, 0, Was the Shannon, Captain Broke, With his men all hearts of oak, Who for fighting was allowed to be The dandy, 0. Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Just before the fight began, Said the Yankees with much fun: We'll tow her into Boston Neat and handy, 0; And then afterwards we'll dine With our sweethearts and our wives, And we'll dance the jig called Yankee doodle dandy, 0. Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Now the fight had scarce begun When they flinch-ed from the guns, Which they thought that they would fight So neat and handy, 0; Then brave Broke he drew his sword, crying: Now my lads we'll board And we'll stop them playing Yankee doodle dandy, 0. Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! They no sooner heard the word Than they quickly jumped on board, And haul-ed down the ensign Neat and handy, 0. Notwithstanding all their brag, Soon the glorious British flag At the Yankee's mizen-peak it looked The dandy, 0. Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Here's a health, my boys, to you, With your courage stout and true. Who fought the Chesapeake So neat and handy, 0; And may it ever prove That in fighting as in love That the true British sailor Is the dandy, 0. Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Hi! Yankee doodle doo, Yankee doodle dandy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 I fell into a burning ring of fire I went down down down but the flames went higher And it burns burns burns That ring of fire That ring of fire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 A message to all serenaders. Have some consideration, I'm trying to eat. Thank-ewe! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: I fell into a burning ring of fire I went down down down but the flames went higher And it burns burns burns That ring of fire That ring of fire<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Preparation H works , I hear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Dear peoploids: I believe Hiram is somewhat distracted with serious matters at the moment, and I am for once being serious. I suggest we wish him and his all the best, but not count on him for this thrilling, but ill-timed, nomination. This is too bad, because I had this vision: the poolische representative to the vile outerthing, posts game developments here, for our collective insight, wisdom, and advice. 'Twould be as the Pool playing as a single malicious entity, through the offices of a single chosen kannigget, who would sift through the largely worthless insights received by the idiot throng, for perspectives on the next move. To wit: Cesspudlian Knecht: They are flanking me on both sides and dropping bombs on my head! Here's the movie! Ich bin verwundet! Peng: Run away! Run away! Elvis: They always do that. Destroy all your vehicles and charge on foot! OFGS: Ya dinnae knae, wha' tha blaggards will knibble ye nachst, ya doof, sae blar the bloorigasts thrae the threes, mon! jd: Here's how we did it in '44, we lined 'em up, popped a wheelie to show 'em we didn't even care, and gunned it for all we were worth. Cesspudlian Knecht (interested): That must've been even cooler in Spring, '45. jd: We didn't do that in '45. Pawbroon: We did it in '40. Once. mensch: i did some an hour ago and i wonder if having your hair pulled out in klumps by polizei with garden tools would hurt and what if you had corn rows maybe it would be more natural... Geier: I am invulnerable! Let me ride on the lead tank! I have never been hit! All: OK. Seanachai: While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind", But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind, There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind, O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind. ...snip... well, old bean, I'd have a look at those angles and see if (snip: the history of steel) I couldn't nobble into those trees (snip: the Gregor Mendel story) and try to (snip: Napoleon at Ulm and subsequent life) and then meet them in the middle of the bloody woods with flamethrowers, roight. Aitken: That's just the model, old chap, and you'll have to bloody well sit and take it. That's how this game is played and there's nothing to be done. Mace: I know one thing to be done... Stuka: Small island, mate, and I'll have the shepherdess... Panzer Leader: Jeepers, I'm near the bottom. MrSpkr: Are too! SSNs (chorus): We long to be you, we thirst for your every dropping, you are like gods, we long to pick our nits in your shadows, beat us to show us you care... Cesspudlian Knecht: Excellent! I'll Sneak the Fallschirmjaegers up the ravine, attack the first threat from the flank, regroup, then recombine my entire force against the second flank! I can hold the armor back for the finishing blow while counter-firing his mortar batteries with HE. There's no point in holding this hilltop when I should be advancing anyway! All: Exactly/that will never work/be careful/you got it my man/you gonna die we all gonna die. Any takers? Stupid edits, but there was some ambitious formatting here. Damn UBB. [ 06-13-2001: Message edited by: Mark IV ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo: Our Evil one<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This implies more than one.... WELL, THERE IS!!! And you got both of them. In a philisophical debate with Peng today, we discovered that... xxi) Pod ain't God 45) Therefore, Pod doesn't exist within my realm of influence (don't worry, they connect... I have refrained from posting the entire philosophy that gets us to this point) Pods are Evil %) Pods have no (nor do they care about) soul ii) Peng is The Evil (souless) One 4) I am The Evil One Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Bowing low and averting eyes Excuse me, m'luds, but seeing as I have managed to break exactly even in the five Pool games I have completed to date, my ying and yang are currently in perfect harmony. I am at one with the universe. I am humble, yet bold; sarcastic, yet serious, bawdy, yet stiff (down Mace); in short, I am in tune with nature, and have realized the beauty in our decrepit, fetid Cess. Therefore, I am the perfect missionary to take that which is Peng and spread it among those outlying boards in the hinterlands. I can bring Peng to those heathens known as Grognards, and, those that he does not destroy, will spread the news that is Peng's glory. That, or they will have to get a series of painful shots in their abdomens. But I digress. I would most humbly take up this burden as my joust for Kaniggethood! What say you, noble ka-niggets? Shall I be the Pool's evangelist to the Outer Board heathens? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Oh, and the obvious choice to send (thus driving the Outerhouse Boardies quite insane)... OlderSquatin'Grubbin'Farter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: I would most humbly take up this burden as my joust for Kaniggethood! What say you, noble ka-niggets? Shall I be the Pool's evangelist to the Outer Board heathens?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bring us the head of Tomcat! And don't return until you do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: A bunch of hoobla habla about a tourney or somefink. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yeah, well, my member number is still way lower than yours. [ 06-13-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanbeanwannabe: ...blah....blah....blah.....On the whole, at this point, I'd rather come up with justifications for the existence of cockroaches than ...blah....blah....blah......<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I was quite looking forward to reading this treatise - cockroaches being the standard form of life armound here 'n all, but no.....instead we have democracy inaction and piss-poor plagiarism. So I guess I'll just have to do it myself. Reasons to be cockroach, part 3: viii) Crunch. Where would the pool be without crunch? Imagine only being able to step on things that were soft and squishy and made no sound at all?? 42. Evolution Cockroaches provide inspiration for the continued existance of the pool, by showing that being an evolutionary dead end does not necessarily mean extinction. D. Nuclear winter Cockroaches will carry on what passes for intelligent life arund this place after the nuclear winter wipes out all ower forms of pengvillians So there we have it - 101 reasons why cockroaches are actually more useful than the peng thread! And it didn't hurt at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrene Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Barelycan, Did you forget our game? Just because your evil assemblage of Nazi thugs are whooping my Canadians and that my offensive power is down to 3/4 of a platoon it still does not excuse your gamey behaviour of using buildings for cover and continuing to use your armored vehicles well after mine own have gone to their rest! Per shame, return the turn already or I'll be forced to surrender. Gyrene Edited due to sneaky smilie infestation [ 06-13-2001: Message edited by: Gyrene ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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