MrSpkr Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 ***The band of figures stopped. One hooded figure leaned upwards in the darkness, sniffing the air. The foul currents in the air boded ill for the band, as Evil and Confusion joined forces in an unholy alliance. This would most definitely complicate things.*** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 I have this strange feeling I've just walked into a AD&D session! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Two figures sit facing each other, staring at a squared off litre bottle perched between them. A scrabbling noise comes from somewhere behind them. Peng: What the hell was that noise? Seanachai: peering It looks like my seniour Squire and some of his friends are doing a theatre production of 'the Rats of NIMH'. Peng: Well, tell them the Watergate Burglars were more adept. Is it your move, or mine? Seanachai: It's yours. Peng seizes the bottle, and knocks down the last amber drops Peng: I win! Seanachai: Not quite, I have another bottle. Peng: AH! Now we both win! [ 06-20-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: What is this?! Has someone installed a snow machine in my parlor?! Stalin's Organ posted something worthy?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why - do you need anther one? OK - who woke the old fool up this time eh? Must be time to change his bag....... [ 06-20-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: I have this strange feeling I've just walked into a AD&D session! Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's odd, because for a long time I've had the feeling that you were conceived during an AD&D session. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: That's odd, because for a long time I've had the feeling that you were conceived during an AD&D session.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> When I was born they didn't have AD&D, and telly was just introduced in Australia. Fortunately for me, my parents had nothing better to do with themselves! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ: Why - do you need anther one? OK - who woke the old fool up this time eh? Must be time to change his bag....... Non eo feci! Nemo me vidit! Non potes aliquid probare! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Lad, I'm the Old Fool. Berli is the Evil One. And I never sleep. Perhaps I doze, a little, from time to time. Ab Hoc Possum Videre Domum Tuum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: Lad, I'm the Old Fool Ab Hoc Possum Videre Domum Tuum<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bloody hell........now it's the old farts bleating about their "titles"...oh..poor old thing...did somewuny get called your own special widdle name.....ooohhhh....didums, never mind.....mummy wiwl come along and kiss it bedda once the anti-biotics are working! And if you're going to quote bad Latin at least you could make it funny or something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> 'Twas but 10 of the evening, But all throuogh the house, not an old fart was stiring, and neither was Mouse. MrsSqueaker was blathering about what who could care? Perhaps hoping Seanbeanwannabe would no longer be here? And then what in the wandering cess should appear? But another of Squeaker's blasts of hot air! I knew in a moment that the kay-nig-its weren't here, So I thought I'd write crap and be their nightmare! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bwah ha ha - here's another piss poor peng pool poet - only this time he's writing while you're all sleeping over there in lala land!! Sweet dreams scatalyrical suckers!! [ 06-20-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Lorak! LORAK! *kick* Lorak you old fool, Pool victory is again mine, and I demand that you scribe it thusly: Herr Oberst, with his mountainous gerbiljaegers, flaming forests, and turn play the speed of flowing glass have succeeded in drawing out a narrow margin win over Babra-ella and his horde of Yankees with their Mortar Carriers, Axis 52, Allies 38. This battle, with its turn-to-month ratio rates as one of the epic confrontations of all time. Herr Oberst - win Babra - loss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Senility doing his own version of Of Mice and Men Old One, now that you've engaged in that dangerous way, you need to be reminded of the words of JS (No MOUSE it aint's Shandorf): The ancient commission of the writer has not changed. He is charged with exposing our many grievous faults and failures, with dredging up to the light our dark and dangerous dreams for the purpose of improvement. By the way Old Fart, it's NEIL Gaiman... Now what with you not being European and all you are henceforth absolved. I see you've just changed your sig to a more Pratchett oriented one just like Geier before you. Let's team up Pratchett and Gaiman and have Mouse read Good Omen while he is at it... Say, you had Mouse and now you have Pratchett, can't you threaten him with the Death of Rats? SQUEAKK!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boy_Recon Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Q:are there still people out there who find Douglas Pratchett and Terry Adams funny? A:yep, they're the same people who laugh at their own peng contributions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 boy_Rectum seems to have had a sense of humour bypass. One would think he works in local government or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boy_Recon Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>boy_Rectum seems to have had a sense of humour bypass. One would think he works in local government or something <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 ***l.ooks around quickly*** Voice2: "It looks clear . . ." Voice1: "Wait." ***in the distance, the ground begins to shimmer, then ripple as a gelatinous mass undulates across a nearby road, leaving small chunks in its wake*** Voice2: "What is that?" Voice1: "SSN's. The crisis is drawing them much like a torch does a moth. They appear and foul the Cess, then wander back to the OuterBoards to boast of their accomplishments. Generally, they are no more than a mere nuisance, but tonight, we must take no chances . . . I think it is clear now - let us proceed to the home of the third." ***The quartet begin to climb a high mountain crag. Scavenger birds circle the heights in slow, lazy arcs, looking for carrion.*** to be continued Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Jaw flapping from the Mouse, a sheep-biting foot-licker if there ever was one.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Shaddap, you malodorous little turd fondler. I'm not hear to listen to you babble. I've challenged Jshandorf. I expect to hear from him or his second. If he can't be bothered, I'll challenge someone else. THE REST OF YOU LOT: I'm not here trying to make friends with this incestuous gang of hog-humping degenerates. I'm here because you guys Die A Lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Since the bar's not open yet, how's about some aural pleasures... (bauhaus, just look up the tanjed word!) As usual, apologies to whomever I'm ripping off at the moment. Let the taunts begin Lock away dumb newbies And sop up the filth from the floor. Where the game divides All Cesspoolers Hear the racket from sides of the Board. Trudging though the dank water And sniffing foul air... Use half your brain And hopefully a pair Do you dream of a journey Taking you back to our home Where the taunts from The Heart of the Cesspool lives on When the Thread breaks Above ground into leakage: Grogs waiting to sound the alarm. Under Madmatt’s eye Look up and wonder now Could we sleaze our way past the Bald Guard? But the Cess is a river Flowing all about the Board The call is unspoken But too often heard Do you dream of a journey Taking you back to your home Where the taunts from The Heart of the Cesspool lives on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 ***the Four approach the apex of the rocky pinnacle*** Voice1: "Remember to put in the plugs - failure could be disasterous." ***the four take small objects from pouches at their belts, then cram the objects into their ears. Using hand signals, the leader urges them onward to a spot just below the top of the cliff*** Voice1: "Any second now. . .' Voice2: "What?" Voice1: "I SAID . . . never mind." shakes head ***from above, two voices are heard*** A high-pitched, grumpy voice: "Ach, mae wee haid! Ah need a pull fro' mah wee dram oh whiskey." A nasal, grumpier voice: "There ain't no more, you git. Ah drank the last of it last night meself." High: "Boot, boot . . . Ye Kentucky bastaarrdd! Wha' 'ave ye done tae mah?" Nasal: "Drop the Scottish accent. Its too early in the morning. Stop it or I'll sing . . . High: "Ye wudna' dare tae do tha' . . ." ***a high pitched shriek fills the air. It is a combination of nails upon chalkboards, metal bulkheads giving way to the ocean depths, and all of the hungry six month old infants in the world COMBINED. Even protected by their plugs, the Four are clearly battered by the assault. The Leader takes a small lead box from his pack and, with shaking hands, holds it up into the air, just above the cliff. Putrid green fumes waft down into the box. The sound of a million screaming souls fills the box, which then quickly snaps itself shut. The Four descend the cliff.*** Voice4: "What in the name of all that is unholy was that?" Voice1: "Unholy is an understatement. That was the sound of two normally drunk entities awakening sober, seeing their lives as they truly are." Voice3: "You mean it was . . ." Voice1: "Yes -- the sound of despair. We must hurry - only one more object to collect - but its master is the most dangerous of all." ***the Four complete their descent and, turning south towards a small ravine, slowly disappear into the Pool's eternal gloom*** to be continued Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 THE SCENE: A schoolyard playground. The children are laughing and playing. In the corner of the yard, out of sight of the teachers, the school bully approaches the teacher’s pet. Well, Training Panties, or should I say Mouse, I see you have received yet another rebuke from your esteemed Kaniggit. Pokes Mouse in the chest. You are already on your second Kaniggit. I doubt you will get a third when he gives up on you. Pokes Mouse in the chest again. Berli might take you, but only as a damned soul. You’re well on your way. Pushes Mouse HARD. Some of the children begin to gather round. Nobody here likes you. Nobody here wants to be like you. Nobody wants to listen to you. Trips Mouse up. The rest of the children arrive, shouting “Fight, Fight”. Have you noticed nobody has told me to sod off yet? That’s because I’m picking on you. Jumps on top of Mouse, grabs a handful of sand. They are all waiting to see if you actually have a pair. Stuffs sand in Mouse’s pie hole, grabs more. To even suggest that I (or anyone) would be your boy, in any way, shape or form, shows how pathetic you really are. Stuffs second handful up Mouse’s running nose, grabs more. You came here for all the wrong reasons. You will leave for all the right ones. Stuffs third handful in Mouse’s wax-filled ears, grabs more. You have been challenged. Let me spell it out for you again. Grinds fourth handful into Mouse’s nearsighted eyes, breaking his geek glasses, grabs more. Me, Allies, defender. Pours fifth handful down front of Mouse’s diaper, grabs more. You, Axis, Assault, soon to be more of a loser than you already are. Pours sixth handful down back of Mouse’s now soiled diaper, grabs more. 1000 point QB, village, medium hills, medium trees. Packs seventh handful on top of first handful in Mouse’s mouth, notices sand is running low. Random time, random weather, unlimited force selection. Seizes Mouse’s nose, begins to whip his head violently back and forth. Are you beginning to understand now? Mouse’s nose starts to bleed profusely, spraying blood mixed with sand everywhere, and he begins to cry. Do the wrong thing and send a setup. Or do the right thing, and go away. The children disperse, sickened by Mouse’s complete lack of anything resembling a pair. Now, quit blubbering, and go and change your armor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Mr Spkr is weaving a witty and entertaining story. Iskander is writing poetry, songs, and touching testimonials to demon drink. Seanachai has correctly analyzed the PL Problem as a squeeky mouse running up our collective leg. Joe Shaw has again graced us with his tedious wisdom. And best of all, Lars is endearing himself to the community by directly and relentlessly pursuing the PL Mouse pestilence. Just last week, mensch was bemoaning the death of creativity in the Pool. But not so. Let a thousand flowers bloom... Tis Springtime after all in the darkened reaches of Cess. BTW, I STILL think Child Hunter is a great idea for a TV program that could make us all rich. [ 06-20-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Alll right! Who da hell is this Terrence character, and pray tell why is this yappy little ankle biter pestering me with e-mails about Peng and "I challenged you" crap? Hmmmm? Who's been derilect in letting the SSNs into the back dressing rooms to pester us knights like some raving horde of teen idol worshipers? Terrence is it? Excuse me lad but please go and take a long drive in your garage. I needn't be bothered with the likes of you. I have Fancy Lads to fry... Speakin for Fancy Lads... Pantsy Leacher and I have started out game and I predict a TKO in 5 rounds. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Alll right! Who da hell is this Terrence character, and pray tell why is this yappy little ankle biter pestering me with e-mails about Peng and "I challenged you" crap? Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Afraid are you? Very well. I therefore challenge you again, hog-mounter. Same conditions as before. If you're as good as you brag, you'll dispatch me in moments. I say you're a prancing, posturing bag of wind, covering for serious inadequacies with this arrogant nonsense. If you really can't manage another PBEM, name one of your toadies or sycophants and Ill happily play them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars: Have you noticed nobody has told me to sod off yet? That’s because I’m picking on you. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No, its because we've been trying very hard to ignore you. If I tell you to SOD OFF, will that make you go away? Well, I'll give it a try: SOD OFF you protosimian halfwit, and take panties with you. While your at it, take the rest of the newbie twit pool dippers like Dictator's WeeWee and Tearpants with you. GET THE HELL OUT, WE DON'T WANT YOU. Is that clear enough? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Oh gosh, I was busy reading, not that Gaiman Novel TRIPE bit actually the GOOD stuff he has written, namely the Sandman Chronicles. My wife read that crap Seahachai with his bleeding heart reccommended, but personalyl I like stuff with a little more OOMPH! Now, then, Lars, let me tell you a story of despair and redemption. It goes something like this: I am playing the following games: Pawbroon: The docile, lacadaisical French were never ones for punctuality, so we are on turn 2 after a month or so. Dame Achin: I inflicted upon him (unwittingly of course) a fate worse than Crodaburg. Hurly-Burly: We are playing a game of hide and seek in what must be the depths of the Black Forest. Of course I got a bunch of Armour. I repeat, we are in the DEPTHS of a forest. Seanachai: My knew knight, as accepted a famous game of RUNE. Shedwarf: Is attempting to thwart the inevitable, namely the crushing of his allied defense. jdMorse: We have a game or something. Those are the kaniggetts whom I play. Now, onto meaningless games: Mrspkr: has recently graced me with File #2 of a game in which I sent out file #1 so long ago, I forgot what the hell it was. It is Dame Achin's latest atrocity. Here are the list of SSN's which gives rise to my indisposition to add YET ANOTHER no-show to my list: Col. Sander: Playing but gone rom the pool. Parabellum: Playing but outta the pool. Martyr: Playing but outta the pool. Do you see why I do not want to add yet another loser, can't hang, leave as soon as I get a game started NEWBIE GIT to my list?? On top of these, I have a number (like 10 more) gentleman's games going with friends (of which none of you qualify.) So Lars, really the only benifit to playing you would be that chances are you'd never be heard from again. Hmm, that sounds worth it, so SEND ME THE SET-UP you GIT. Sod off while you're at it. I like to keep the number of games below 10, but I am now up over 20 and i is starting to piss my wife off, so for now, THIS IS IT!! I know everyone wants to be my friend and play me, but I am only human, so go pick on that reprehensible BORE Mrspkr for a while, 'kay? [ 06-20-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 ***The entrance to a darkened cemetery. Lightning flashes across the sky. Seconds later, the sound of tearing linen fills the air as the thunderclap is heard. Rain begins to pour from the heavens. The Four slowly enter the graveyard. Suddenly, they dive to the ground as a dark shadow passes overhead.*** Voice2: (whispering) "Do you think he saw you?" Voice1: (whispering) "No. If he did, we would know. He stirs, however, making our work much more perilous. Thus far, his attention has been diverted -- but our luck may not hold in that regard. Did you bring the skin?" Voice4: (whispering) "I have it -- here you go." ***The cloaked figure hands a worn leather wineskin to the leader. It appears full. As the leader puts the wineskin on his belt, the leather slowly pulsates.*** Voice1: (whispering) "From our last match, the draw? Voice3: (whispering) "Yes. I thought that would be enough." Voice1: (whispering) "Let us hope so. Moreover, let us hope we do not have to use it at all. Now, we must hurry on." ***The rain increases in intensity, the lightning strobing so brightly that all appears to have an eerie blue-green tinge. The Four trudge off towards an elaborate crypt in the center of the graveyard. A darkened shape follows behind, slinking from tombstone to tombstone, unseen by the Four.*** to be continued Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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